“Who pushed who into the pool?”
“Who threw the key in the pool?” she shouted. “And you didn’t have to haul me in with you and then try to drown me!”
“Are you really mad, or do you just want me to think you are?”
Gwen’s jaw dropped. “Are you totally crazy?”
Zane sat up. “Well, hell, what I did wasn’t that bad. If you had the slightest idea of how to relax and have a little fun, you’d be laughing now instead of yelling at me.”
“I suppose every other woman you nearly drowned in your pool came up laughing, which, of course, makes me a stick-in-the-mud. Well, sorry, sport, but I still don’t think it’s funny. And if you do, you have a very warped sense of humor.”
“At least I have one,” Zane said dryly.
Gwen glared at him. “Meaning that I don’t?”
“I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever heard you laugh.”
“Well, why don’t you tax your brain for a reason for me to laugh!”
Zane thought about that for a moment, then sighed. “Okay, I know you’ve got it tough.”
She had not been looking for sympathy, and embarrassment hit her so hard that she suddenly felt like bawling. Zane knew how she lived. He knew her financial situation and that she was the sole supporter of her children. He’d seen her house and her decrepit old van. He knew too much about her, way too much! How had she let that happen, when ordinarily she was so closemouthed about her problems? Ramona knew the truth of her life, of course, and so did Gwen’s parents. But she had opened a door for Zane that was usually locked pretty tightly, and that wasn’t like her at all.
Her voice wasn’t quite steady when she spoke, but there were things that needed to be said. “I’ve made too many mistakes with you, Zane. Sleeping with you was probably the worst, but then again maybe taking that two thousand for deceiving your family was, all things considered, a lot worse than that. The thing is, everything that’s happened between us was wrong, and it’s almost impossible to pick out our worst sin. Maybe none of it was a sin or a crime for you, but it was for me. You see, you and I are very different people. We’ve been different since the day we were born, and our differences will only increase as we grow older.”
She drew a breath. “I don’t want your sympathy, Zane. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy. I might not have money, but what I do have is priceless.”
“Your kids,” Zane said softly.
“Yes, my kids.”
Zane chewed on his lower lip. He should be telling Gwen about the incident with her father. In fact, he should have told her about it the moment she arrived, instead of luring her to the pool. But how did a man tell a woman something like that? He knew now, without the slightest doubt, that she wouldn’t deem it funny and laugh about it. Her whole life was just too serious for her to find much humor in it.
He looked at her and felt guilty because he’d never had to experience what she did on a daily basis—financial insecurity in every possible shape and form. And he felt other things, too—a flood of affection and warmth and admiration for her spunk, and, of course, desire because she was a beautiful woman, in spite of the dunking she’d taken.
To heck with Jack Lafferty’s weird ideas about his intentions, Zane thought then. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready for marriage—and he should probably phone Jack and tell him that—but he and Gwen could still have something special going for them.
“I agree that mistakes were made since we met,” he said quietly. “But they’re not the ones you just mentioned.” Rising, he moved from his bench to hers and sat next to her.
Gwen’s eyes got big. “Zane, please don’t make a pass.”
He took her hand in his and gazed into her eyes. “Tell me again why you don’t date.”
“Be—because I don’t have the, uh, time.”
“Honey, we both know that’s not true. Let me amend that. It’s true to a point, but if a man was willing to see you on your timetable, then that excuse would vanish, wouldn’t it?”
“You’re not going to talk me into anything,” she whispered, shaken by his nearness and the gleam of conviction in his eyes. She wished he would at least cover his lap; he was just too at ease with his nudity for her comfort.
“Gwen, all I want is to see you. San Antonio has some wonderful restaurants. Would having dinner with me once in a while be so terrible? Would simply talking to me on the phone take up too much of your time?”
“Why…why do you want to see me? Zane, don’t you grasp how different we are from each other? Don’t you understand what I tried to explain a minute ago?”
“Do you think I’d enjoy dating a clone of myself? Gwen, your attitude doesn’t make sense. You’re a woman, I’m a man. Of course there are differences. Good Lord, it’s the differences in people that make them interesting.”
“I was talking about…about social standing,” she blurted, and then turned her head to avoid his eyes.
“Oh, I get it. You’re not listed in the Texas social registry, so someone who is shouldn’t like someone who isn’t.” Zane took her chin and turned her face toward him. “You’re not really that kind of snob, are you?”
She had no immediate reply to what seemed a rather ludicrous question, and a silence lengthened until finally she said, “I’m simply not in your class, and you can call that snobbery if you wish, but that label is not going to change anything—certainly not how I feel about myself…or you.”
“That’s an opening, if I ever heard one. How do you feel about me? I’m talking about me now, Gwen—not my name, not my family, not my net worth, but me, only me.”
She wilted. She was getting hot from the sauna, anyway, and being asked point-blank how she felt about him was too much to deal with.
He saw what he’d done to her and immediately became remorseful. He might not totally comprehend his feelings for Gwen, but he knew without doubt that he didn’t want to discomfit her with difficult and maybe even unnecessary questions. Tenderly he put his arms around her and brought her head to his chest.
“You don’t have to answer that,” he whispered into her damp hair. “Let me tell you how I feel about you. You’re a special human being, Gwen. I honestly have never met anyone like you before. You’re a wonderful mother and a hard worker, and I’ve never heard you blame anyone else for your situation. On top of those great qualities, you’re seriously beautiful and probably the most sensuous woman I’ve ever known. I’ll say something else here. If you’d let me, I would give you the world. I hate your worrying about money, and—”
“Don’t say it!” She dropped her forehead to his bare chest with a muffled groan of utter humiliation. “I would never take a penny from you or any other man. If you don’t know that about me, you don’t know anything.”
“I’m sorry, I do know that. Forgive me. I promise it will never happen again.” He took her chin and tipped up her face, but this time he pressed his mouth to hers.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she was completely defeated and knew it. Maybe she’d known this was going to happen even before ringing his doorbell. She let him kiss her, and she parted her lips for his tongue. She kissed him back and let the towels around her fall away, then turned on the bench so that her bare breasts were against his chest.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he moaned hoarsely, and settled them both on the bench so she was on her back and he was on top of her.
After a dozen feverish kisses to her mouth, her face, her breasts, she invited the final bliss by parting her legs. He wasted no time in complying, and in seconds she was gasping and writhing with him on that bench. They were both sweating, as much from the incredible passion of their lovemaking as from the temperature of the sauna.
I love you…love you…love you. Her mind repeated the words again and again, though she couldn’t say them. It was the reason she hadn’t been able to tell him how she felt about him when he’d asked. It was sad that she loved him so much, because even though he’d said some very nice things abou
t his feelings for her, he hadn’t even hinted at the word love.
But such was their relationship, and she knew now that she would find a way to make the time to see him for as long as he wanted. It would be a little like living on the edge of a precipice, always nervous and wondering when he would meet someone new and more exciting, but it seemed as though she no longer had a choice. Fate, or something, had decreed that she fall in love with Zane Fortune, and free will had nothing to do with it.
It was strange how that knowledge affected her. She wasn’t going to fight him or his attentions anymore, and knowing that with such brilliant clarity seemed to destroy every sexual inhibition she’d ever possessed.
She wound her legs around his hips, drew him deeper inside and released a long, drawn-out sigh of supreme pleasure. “It’s so good, Zane, so good. Don’t stop…don’t ever stop.”
“Oh, baby,” he whispered raggedly. “We fit together so perfectly I can’t believe it. It’s like we were created for each other.”
“I know…I know.” She pulled his head down for a voraciously hungry kiss, and their passions seemed to explode. In seconds they each went over the edge, and neither of them even tried to keep their powerful feelings quiet, as they’d done in her bed the first time they’d made love.
Zane roared and shouted her name, and Gwen panted and moaned until she was totally drained. She was still whimpering deep in her throat when Zane recovered enough of his normal strength to lift his head and look at her.
She looked back at him, straight into his beautiful blue eyes. “How can I fight this?” she said huskily.
“You can’t. Neither can I. Why should we try?”
“We shouldn’t.”
“Meaning, you’re not going to?” Amazement entered his eyes. Was she saying that she would see him, go out with him, continue to make love with him? Had he really accomplished that much this afternoon? Dare he even hope for so much?
“That’s right,” she whispered, and happiness suddenly bubbled within him. He smiled and brushed tendrils of hair back from her flushed face.
“You will never be sorry, I promise you,” he said ardently, and kissed her mouth with such feeling that she felt tears fill her eyes.
“I’m not asking for promises,” she whispered against his lips. “I’ll never ask you for anything.”
He heard the husky quality of her voice and again raised his head to see her face. The tears in her eyes shook him. “No one has a better right to expect promises from me,” he said softly.
“Right now, that’s probably true. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?” There was an underlying sadness in her voice, because with Zane she would be a fool to think that she was the final love of his life. While she knew in her soul that an affair with him was a fool’s game, she wasn’t irrational enough to bank on a future with him.
“Gwen…” A marriage proposal was lurking on the tip of Zane’s tongue. It was, after all, what he’d told Jack he intended to do, and at this very special moment he could easily say the words.
Only, what Gwen had just said about tomorrow destroyed the impulse. Who knew better than he that he was as changeable as the wind? At this moment he loved Gwen madly, but he suspected the strong emotion was caused by the incredible sex they’d just shared. In fact, he was still inside her and he could feel himself becoming aroused again, which didn’t happen often. He loved women and he loved sex, but it usually took more than a few minutes to recharge his batteries before he was ready for a second round.
Gwen felt what was happening to him and shook her head. “No, Zane, I can’t. It’s getting late and I have to pick up my kids.”
He moved lazily within her, simply because he couldn’t stop himself. “Will you see me later this evening?” he asked while pressing tender kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips.
“If I can get Norma Blake to watch the kids, yes,” she whispered as desire rose in her body again. “I’ll call you when I get home and find out. Will you be here?”
“I wouldn’t leave this house for any reason tonight. I’ll be here to take your call, believe me.” He gazed into her eyes for a long, poignant moment, then lightened up with a grin. “Come on, let’s go take a shower. I’ll put your wet clothes in the dryer. You should be ready to go in twenty minutes.”
“Uh, there’s something you should think about,” Gwen said hesitantly. “I get pregnant very easily. We should always use protection.”
“Yes, we should,” Zane said slowly as he realized that she could be pregnant this very second. What if she was? How odd that he would be so remiss with Gwen when he’d never been careless with any other woman.
Pushing the unsettling subject to the back of his mind, he got to his feet and held out his hand to help Gwen up and off the bench.
It was during the drive from Kingston Estates to Ramona’s house that Gwen started feeling tense and uneasy. What in heaven’s name was she doing? Her hands clenched around the steering wheel as her stunned brain painted a vividly detailed picture of herself and Zane in his sauna. How could she have behaved so wantonly? What had happened to her since meeting Zane Fortune? My Lord, was she even the same woman who’d been happily married to a decent, trustworthy man like Paul Hutton and given birth to his three beautiful children?
And there was no glossing over what she’d done at Zane’s house, either. She had consented to having an affair with him, she’d told him they must always use protection, indicating an ongoing sexual liaison, and she’d promised to see him tonight!
No, wait, she’d promised to see him if she could find a baby-sitter.
It was a way out—for tonight, at least. She could phone Zane and tell him that she had not been able to get a sitter. It would give her some time to think this through, she thought as her head began aching.
By the time she pulled into Ramona’s driveway, her head wasn’t just aching, it was throbbing. She was also feeling nauseated, which, strangely, gave her hope. Maybe she’d caught a bug. Maybe her symptoms weren’t caused by guilt, self-disgust and remorse at all, but by a fast-acting virus.
And then reality hit her. “Stop kidding yourself,” she whispered shakily, and switched off the ignition. “The only virus you’ve come in contact with today is Zane Fortune!” She got out of the van and stumbled to Ramona’s front door.
“Gwen! My goodness, you look awful. Are you ill?” Ramona exclaimed worriedly.
“It’s just a headache, Ramona.” The kids ran in and hugged her legs. Bending over, she kissed each of them. “Get your things,” she told them, and off they went to obey.
“Can I get you something for that headache?” Ramona asked.
“Thanks, but I’ll wait till I get home.” To Gwen’s chagrin, she started crying.
“Okay, that does it,” Ramona said with a sympathetic but determined glint in her pretty, dark eyes. “Something’s terribly wrong, and since I’m your best friend, you have to tell me.”
Gwen tried to dry her eyes, but the tears just kept coming. “Oh, I don’t want the kids seeing me this way.”
“They won’t.” Ramona hurried out, and Gwen could hear her talking quietly to the children in the living room. She was back in the foyer in a minute. “They’re going to watch a cartoon video while you and I talk. Come to the kitchen.”
Blubbering, Gwen followed her friend and meekly swallowed the aspirin Ramona gave her, then sat at the table and waited for the water to boil for tea. Ramona put a box of tissues on the table, and Gwen blew her nose and wiped her eyes.
“Thanks. You really are a good friend.”
“And right now you need one. How come? What happened to cause this?”
Gwen looked down at the wad of tissues in her hand. “I—I slept with—Zane,” she finally whispered.
“Today?”
“Yes, I just came from his house.”
Ramona looked troubled, but she made no comment until the tea was ready. Then she brought two cups to the table, placed one in front of Gwen and
sat down with the other.
“Are you in love with him?” Ramona asked quietly.
“Yes.”
“Is he in love with you?”
“No.”
“Did you know those things before you slept with him?”
Gwen wiped away another tear attack. “Yes, I knew.” She sniffled. “I haven’t even told you the worst part.” When Ramona said nothing, she continued. “I…led him to believe that I would have an affair with him. He thinks I’m going to get a sitter for tonight and—and go out with him. It…seemed perfectly logical while I was with him, but on the way here I—I started falling apart.”
Ramona cleared her throat. “Was today the first time?”
“No,” Gwen whispered so quietly that Ramona almost had to read her lips to decipher her answer. “It happened one other time—at my house. The night of the barbecue.” She covered her face with her hands. “Oh, Ramona, what am I going to do?”
“How do you know he’s not in love with you?” Dropping her hands, Gwen glared at her. “Sorry I asked that. You just know, don’t you?”
“He told me I’m a very special woman,” Gwen said bitterly.
“Well, you are.”
“Yes, I’m so special that millionaire bachelors are lined up at my door in droves. Ramona, a man like Zane Fortune wants only one thing from a woman like me, and I—I’m such a damn fool, I gave it to him.”
“You’re not a fool, and don’t say that again. You’re in love, and women in love sometimes do foolish things. Okay, you’ve faced that, and now you’re wondering what you should do next. Gwen, you’re the only person who can answer that question. I could give you all kinds of advice, but I’m not in your shoes, nor could I possibly feel for Zane what you do. Maybe if you talked to your mother—”
“God, no! Mom and Dad are already calling me fifteen times a day to ask if I have anything to tell them.”
“Why on earth would they be doing that?”
Gwen sighed. “I’m not a hundred-percent sure, but I think it’s because Donnie saw Zane on Saturday night and mentioned it when Mom was at my house the next day. She figured out that Zane had spent the night, and ever since I’ve been getting these weird phone calls from her and Dad.”
Hired Bride Page 16
