by Ashlee Price
“So what’s on your mind, Scott? You are being too quiet and I don’t like it.”
He kind of chuckled. “Yea that is what Henri was saying.”
“He knows you well.”
“So do you.”
“I do and I know that you have something that you don’t want to tell me. You always get like this when there is bad news, so let’s just pull the Band-Aid off because neither one of us is good at leaving things open between us.”
He looked at her then and smiled. It broke her heart and took her breath away all in the same instant. Scott was about to break her heart more. She just knew it.
“Well I have been thinking about everything.”
She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillar holding the porch up. Lisa knew what was coming and she wanted to stop it, but she knew that she couldn’t. It was going to happen because Scott had made up his mind. Never one to be wishy-washy, she knew what was next.
“I don’t want to be what holds you back, Lisa.”
Looking over at him, she could tell that he was bothered by what all had been said. The handsome face that she loved was hurting and it hurt her that he was upset by it all. “You know that you aren’t holding me back, Scott. I will admit that our relationship isn’t always what I would like it to be, but I wouldn’t change who I chose to spend my life with for anything. I would rather have you than all of those things without you.”
“Yeah, but for how long? How long until you want a family more than me? I don’t want you to change your mind and then have it be too late. I don’t want you to hate me for not wanting the same things.”
“I could never hate you, Scott.”
“You will, though, Lisa, and I can’t even think about that happening.”
She didn’t say anything back to him. Scott was the type of man that hated to be interrupted and she wasn’t going to interrupt him, even though she knew that she didn’t want to hear about what he was going to say. She knew what was coming and like a train wreck in slow-mo, she was forced to watch and not be able to do anything about it.
“So I think that we should end this, Lisa. I want to let you go, so that you can find what you are looking for, the man that you are looking for.”
Her eyes were already closed and she could feel the first tear going down her face. It was what was always going to happen and maybe that was why Lisa had never wanted to push the subject. Sometimes a person just had to be happy with the way things were. Now because of things said by others, she was losing the only man she had ever loved. There was no fighting it, there never was with Scott. Once his mind was made up, that was it.
“Well, say something, Lisa.”
“What is the point, Scott? You have made up your mind. Is there really anything I could say to change it?”
He shook his head that there wasn’t. “So then, what do you want me to say? You have made your decision and I guess I just have to live with it.”
Scott saw the women he loved crying and it tore him up inside. He had made the decision to save her from pain, but it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, he hurt her anyways.
“Is that all you have to say?” Her voice broke and she wiped her eyes before he saw more tears.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Well, can you leave please?”
He wasn’t expecting her reaction. Scott didn’t know what he was expecting, but not the listlessness in her voice and face.
“I am going to go in now. I had a long day too.” She didn’t know what else to say or do. Was she supposed to hug him, kiss him goodbye? All she wanted to do was go in and cry alone.
Scott watched her go in the house and the screen door slammed in her wake. Sighing to himself, he sat on the porch a few more minutes. He would have been happier if she would have yelled at him, something. Nothing was far worse and he left her house with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. It couldn’t be over just like that, could it?
Chapter 5
The next few days went by in a blur and it was like Scott was reminded of Lisa in everything that he did. When he had a good day, he missed being able to tell her about it. When he was having a really bad day, he would always go to Lisa’s house and they would talk about things. She had a way about her that relaxed him and that was the worst part of it. Scott missed his friend. He started to wonder if that was how it was going to be from then on. Was he only going to be worried about her or could he in fact move on?
As the weekend rolled around and Elna came down from the city, Scott found himself unable to be around them all. There was a family dinner that night, one that he was expected to attend, but in the end, he didn’t want to go. It wasn’t like he could blame them for all of it, but Scott felt like if it wasn’t for all of the external pressure, him and Lisa would still be together.
They had been happy how it was, or he had been anyways and all he wanted was Lisa back. The idea of having to go into the ranch house and explain himself or explain why she wasn’t there was too much to think about. He hadn’t told anyone what had happened. It was almost embarrassing to him and he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want people to tell him that it would be okay, that he would find someone else. Scott didn’t want to be okay and the longer he was without her, the more that he realized he wasn’t ever going to be okay.
There had been several times throughout the week that he had picked up the phone, even dialed her number, only to hang up again before he pushed send. What would he even say to her if she did answer? Scott wasn’t so sure that she would answer for him and instead of finding out if she would or not, he wallowed in his own sadness for a while. It was all he could do.
When his phone rang suddenly, there was the moment of hope that it would be her, but he should have known better. Why would she call him after he had hurt her? Instead it was Gemma, not his favorite person at the present moment.
“What Gemma?”
“Well hello to you too. Are you coming in for dinner?”
“I don’t think I am going to make it Gemma.”
“Why?”
“I just don’t feel like being around the family right now.”
There was a silence on the other end. “You need to come by. You can’t stay out there forever and you know how mom is with family dinner on Sundays.”
He didn’t want to go in, but he knew that he had to. Scott was still mad about how things had turned out with Lisa and he couldn’t help but blame them for it partially. They were just fine until all of the wedding stuff started to go through the family. Lisa and he were happy as they were; now she was gone and he was left thinking of how things used to be.
“I will be in there. It’s not like you guys can do any worse to me now.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve talked to Lisa?”
Another silence. “Yeah she called me a couple of days ago after I called her for almost a week straight. I don’t know what happened between you guys…”
“You and mom. That is what happened. Why couldn’t you guys leave well enough alone?”
Gemma felt bad about everything, but she still held out that it would somehow work out. She kept telling herself that her brother just needed a kick up the backside to get it in his head that he needed to marry her. What she hadn’t expected was for Lisa to go out on a date. She was moving on and Gemma didn’t think that he even knew about it and she was certainly not going to be the one to tell him.
“I’m sorry okay? You know I didn’t want you guys to split up. I wanted you two to be happy.”
“We were.” It hit Scott then how much he had been happy with her and though he had never thought of marriage before, it didn’t mean that he didn’t love her or even that he wanted someone else.
“I got to get off of here. I will be down that way in a while.” He hung up before she could say anything else. He loved his sister and his mother, but he was sick of their meddling because it never turned out well for him.
&n
bsp; ***
“Did you talk to your brother?”
Gemma nodded, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to relay any of the information to Elna. “Yes, he will be down in a little while.”
“Did you tell him about how Lisa dated Tony from the feed store?”
She shook her head. “He is pissed at us and I don’t think he is ready to hear that Lisa has moved on. Oh mom, do you think we totally ruined things between them?”
Elna wasn’t sure and she had much of the same fears as her only daughter. While they had been trying to help everything, it seemed like they had made a royal mess of it and neither one of them knew what to do about it. “No, just watch and see Gemma. I told you that it was going to work out. Lisa loves Scott and she isn’t going anywhere. She is just trying to feel something again. And Scott, well maybe he needs to lose her to know how much he loves her. Guys are like that sometimes.”
Gemma wasn’t so sure but her mother had always had a way of pulling the strings when she wanted something to happen. The fact that she was letting it play out that way made Gemma nervous, but she had to trust that she knew what she was doing. “I hope you are right. I hate when Scott is mad at me. He was the only one of us that could stay mad for so long.”
Elna nodded and even though she had her own concerns, she wasn’t going to feed into it. Confidence covered most of her worries. If she was worried, then everyone was. “Why don’t you set the table for me dear? I am sure everything will work out.”
She watched her daughter go into the other room and she hoped her words were right. There was something about Scott and Lisa that had always seemed to be perfect. The very fact that Lisa had waited so long, attested to the fact that they were meant to be together. No one else would have put up with him for so long. Lisa had to love her son and Elna knew that love conquered all in the end.
Chapter 6
Dinner was strained and though Elna tried to get Scott into the conversation, it was clear that he was mad at them. He was made at her in particular, as well as his sister Gemma for their female prodding. He wouldn’t say anything to them that would tell them so, but he didn’t have to. Scott had an expressive face and it was clear to all that he was not happy with what was going on. Lisa had called Gemma about what happened and though Scott hadn’t said a word about it, the whole family knew what was going on. It was the way of them and there was nothing that happened in the Callahan tribe that everyone didn’t quickly find out about.
Scott didn’t say much to anyone, excusing himself early. He went to bed like he had done for a week, alone and missing Lisa. Again, he tried to call her, but again he couldn’t go through with it. It felt too much like begging and it had been him that had ended it. He wanted her back, knowing that she still wanted to get married. What if that was the only way to get her back?
He lay awake for hours thinking about it and at first light he got up and went to the other side of town where her house was. Scott waited outside for several minutes in his truck before he went up to the door. It was several minutes before he heard anything in the house and then a sleepy-eyed Lisa came to the door.
“Scott? What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you.”
“You should have called.”
“I never did before.”
“Yeah well things are different. You made it clear that you didn’t want to be with me anymore, so why are you here?”
Scott looked down at the boots he could barely see in the darkness. It wasn’t even light out yet and it was clear that he had woken her up. “I was just wanting to see you, Lisa. It has been over a week and I am lost without you.”
He heard a male voice from the other room, asking Lisa to come to bed. Scott’s dark brown eyes looked back at Lisa and the guilt on her face. “Sorry to bother you, Lisa. I didn’t realize that you would be able to move on so fast after all these years.”
“Biological clock, tick, tick. You didn’t leave me much time.” She was trying hard not to feel like she had cheated on him. He had gotten rid of her, she kept reminding herself. It wasn’t like she had dumped him and moved on. If he didn’t want her, why did it matter if someone else did?
There was anger in his eyes and Lisa remembered his temper. Scott looked like he was going to lose it and push pass her into the house. He kept eying the dark space behind her. She wasn’t sure if he was looking for the guy to see who it was or if he wanted to come in and see for himself. He was capable of either one and she moved to bar the door from him.
“I think you should go, Scott.”
“Yeah, I think I should. This is a small town, Lisa, and I will find out who it is.” His tone was threatening and she knew that he meant it. He would never do anything to her, but to a man, Scott was a scary prospect. What she didn’t get was why he was even there? Why was he acting like he cared when he had just as quickly broken up with her? For a man that she thought she knew so well, there was still so much that she didn’t understand about him. But the rage and anger in his eyes, she understood that.
As she watched him walk away, her heart broke a little more and the man in question came up behind her. “Hey baby, are you coming back to bed?”
She sighed and returned the kiss of David. He was a nice man and not too bad in bed, but there was something missing. There was something that couldn’t be duplicated because he just wasn’t Scott. If she had thought she had lost him before, she knew now that he would never come back. He was gone forever and Lisa wasn’t ready for that.
***
“Did you know Gemma?”
Gemma recognized her brother’s voice and sat up in bed. “Know what?”
“Did you know that Lisa was with someone else?”
Gemma sighed to herself and wished that he hadn’t found out so soon. She wasn’t stupid enough to ask him how he found out. It didn’t matter, he knew and she had known for almost a week. “You dumped her, Scott, after five years. What did you expect to happen?”
She wasn’t answering his question, but her lack of an answer made it clear to him that she had known. “I wish you would have told me, Gemma.”
“Why? What does it matter? You did a good thing letting her go, Scott.”
He made a frustrated noise on the other side of the phone. “Because I just went over there like an idiot to find some guy there with her.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Wouldn’t have minded a heads-up, Gemma.”
“Scott, she has a right to move on. You left her. Don’t want to marry her, why wouldn’t you just let her go? Don’t you want her to be happy?”
He did want her to be happy, but he hadn’t thought that it would be without him. Scott just wasn’t ready to move on, but it appeared that Lisa was. “I do, Gemma, but…”
“Why did you go over there at this time in the day?”
“Because I can’t stop thinking about her.” It was just as simple as that and Scott then realized that he had made a huge mistake and there was nothing he could do about it.
“Well, I am sorry, Scott. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings if you found out. I figured you would find out eventually, though I didn’t know you would be going down to her house.”
“Who is it?”
There was a pause. Gemma knew better than to tell her brother anything. He had a temper on him that was worse than all of the other brothers combined and she didn’t want him to make any more rash decisions.
“Tell me Gemma.”
“I don’t want to, Scott. I know how you are and you can’t go around town beating guys up because they are dating your ex. That isn’t right and you know it. You have to let her go.”
Scott didn’t want to hear it and after he asked a couple more times, she still refused and he hung up in anger.
“Is everything okay love?”
She nodded that it was. “Yeah it was just Scott freaking out. Go back to sleep baby.”
Gemma felt him laying down next to her and pulling her in towards his warm
body. She had a moment of need, but it was gone and he was back to sleep next to her. She stayed up for another hour until the sun was fully lighting the sky. There was nothing else that she could do, but her heart went out to her brother. Gemma really hoped her mom was right about everything working out and she couldn’t help but feel guilty about it all. Were they doing the right thing?
Chapter 7
Scott didn’t go back to the ranch later in the morning. He didn’t want to go back and he wasn’t in the mood to do any work. Scott was still trying to wrap his brain around what had happened and though Gemma was right, he shouldn’t care who it was that Lisa was with, he did. It was something that ate at his insides and he just had to know. There was someone next to her and doing the things that he had done to her and it was driving him crazy.
He turned off his phone after it wouldn’t stop ringing. First it was Henri that called, and then Gemma and then Elna. He ignored them all and sat at the small bar drinking. It wasn’t enough that it was only noon and he was already plastered, but it wasn’t enough. He still remembered the voice behind her telling her to come back to bed and his rage took over.
“Scott, I think you have had enough. Do you want me to call one of your brothers to come and get you?” Ralph had never seen the youngest brother so drunk, so early. It had been a long time since he had seen him in such a state.
“I’m fine, give me another.”
Ralph didn’t want to, his pudgy face showed the concern that everyone seemed to have for him lately. He was sick of everyone feeling sorry for him. Did Ralph know too? “Have you seen Lisa this week?”
He nodded, but knew that it was not a good time to talk about her. Everyone knew that they were together, thus everyone knew when they broke up. It was a small town and Ralph wasn’t so stupid as to get him riled up. It wasn’t the first time that Scott had torn up his bar and he didn’t want a repeat. Sure the family would pay for the damage, but it took several days to clean up from his last fight.
“Yea, I have seen her a couple of times. She has been coming in her sad like. I was sorry to hear that you two broke up. I always thought you would be together always. You guys seemed perfect for each other.”
