by Ann Major
The young woman nodded. “I’m afraid the documents are long and very complicated. A mistake could cost millions. Miss Gold is one of our attorneys, you see. She had several concerns.”
“Please tell him I’m here.”
After the young woman buzzed him, she looked up almost immediately. “He says he’ll see you. Now.”
Intending to lead her down the hall, she arose, but Kira held up a hand. “I remember the way.”
When Kira reached his office, Cristina was just exiting with a thick sheaf of documents. She tossed Kira a tight smile. Behind Cristina, Quinn leaned negligently against the doorjamb.
When he opened the door, Kira said, “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“Glad that meeting’s over. And doubly glad to see you.” He shut the door. “I needed a break.”
Despite the welcoming words, when their eyes met, she felt a sudden unbearable tension coming from him.
“Sorry I left so early this morning, but I had a couple of urgent texts.”
“From Cristina?”
“One was. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of balls in the air related to the EU deal,” he said.
“No problem.”
“You look upset.” His voice was flat.
“I didn’t realize Cristina went to London with you…until I saw some of the news coverage on television.”
A cynical black brow lifted. “I took a team of ten. She was part of the team. She’s very talented at what she does, or I never would have hired her.”
“Not only is she talented, but she’s beautiful, too.”
He stood very still. “I imagine her looks are part of why she made it into so many of the TV shots. Look, there’s no need for you to be jealous of her…if that’s what this is.”
“I’m not.”
“I’m married to you, and whether you believe it or not, that means something to me.”
What did it really mean if he could never love her?
“Since you obviously want to know more about Cristina and me,” he began in the maddening, matter-of-fact tone of a lawyer presenting his case, “I’ll clarify our relationship. We dated briefly. The press gave our romance more attention than it deserved.
“Then she broke up with me—for another man with whom she’s still seriously involved. At the time, she complained I never had time for her. He did. Naturally, I was angry, but since then I’ve realized she was right.”
“A vengeful man might have held what she did against her,” she said coolly. “Why did you hire her?”
“We worked together on several projects before we dated. She will do a lot for Murray Oil.”
“So, as always, business is all-important to you? Does nothing else ever matter? Not even your own injured feelings?”
He shrugged. “They weren’t that injured. I got over her pretty quickly.”
Would he get over Kira and be this matter-of-fact about it? At the thought, Kira cringed.
“Business will always be an important part of my life. I don’t deny that. It’s part of who I am. I hired her…before I met you.” He paused. “What is it you want from me this morning, Kira?”
“Right. I’m interrupting you. You’re a busy man. You probably have many more important meetings to get through today. All those balls in the air. And here I am, your pregnant, overly emotional wife needing reassurance.”
He studied her warily. “What do you want, Kira?”
Why couldn’t she be as cool and logical as he was? Because everything in her life was out of balance. She was pregnant and feeling needy. There were too many unanswered questions in their relationship, and she was still reeling from the discovery that she’d been adopted.
She wanted to belong somewhere, to someone. She wanted to matter to Quinn. If she’d been more important to him, wouldn’t he have kept her in the loop while he was gone? Wouldn’t he have shared more details concerning his oil deal?
“I guess I want the impossible,” she blurted out. “I want a real marriage.”
“Now you want a real marriage, when all along you’ve said that’s the last thing you want? Last night you woke up crying from some dream, apparently about me, demanding ‘strictly business.’ You pushed me away as if you wanted nothing to do with me. If I give you space it’s wrong. If I push myself on you it’s wrong.”
“I know I’m not making sense,” she said. “Our marriage was never based on love, mutual understanding or anything that makes up a true partnership. I guess I’m upset because…because I don’t know… I just know I can’t go on like this!”
“As soon as I complete this deal, I’ll have more time…”
“How will that matter if you don’t want the same kind of marriage I do? Now, maybe because of the baby and finding out I was adopted, I have this huge need for things to be right between us. I want more. I’ve wanted more my whole life. I don’t want to feel left out anymore. Most of all, I want to count to my husband.”
“If you wanted to belong in this marriage, then why did you tell me from the first that you didn’t want to sleep with me?”
“I guess to protect myself…from ever feeling like I feel now—needy…confused. I knew this marriage was only a business deal for you. I didn’t want to get my heart broken,” she whispered.
“What are you saying?”
“What we have isn’t enough. Not for me…or for you.”
“You’re pregnant. We can’t just walk away from each other. It’s not about you and me anymore, or even Murray Oil. We have a child to think about now.”
“That’s all the more reason I don’t want us trapped in a loveless marriage. I want a husband who can love me. I want my child to grow up in a loving home. After the deal you just made, the executives at Murray Oil trust you. You don’t need to be married to me anymore. You can divorce me and date somebody who understands you, someone who can make you happy…someone like Cristina.”
“Damn it. I don’t want a divorce. Or Cristina. Like I said—if you’d ever once listen to me—she’s practically engaged.”
“But you don’t love me…”
“Well, I damn sure don’t love anyone else. And I’m not lusting after anybody else. I’m focused solely on you! You’re very important to me, Kira. Vital. Still, it’s true that I’m not sure I’ll ever be capable of loving anyone—even you. Maybe I’ve been hard and dark and driven for too long.”
“Well, I want a man who will commit his heart to me, or I want out.”
“Okay,” he said in a tone that was cold, infuriatingly logical and final. “Now that our marriage has served its purpose, you want out. Well, I don’t want out, and I’m not ready to let you go. But if that’s what you want, I won’t hold you against your will any longer.”
“What?”
“I’ll give you what you say you want. You’re free to leave. But understand this—I intend to take an active role in raising our child.”
“Of course,” she whispered, feeling shattered.
“Then so be it,” he said.
He stared at her, waiting for her to walk out the door, and, for a brief moment, his guard fell. She saw longing and pain flash in his eyes.
Suddenly, she realized just how much she’d wanted him to fight for her, for them.
After stumbling blindly out of his office, she sat behind the wheel of her car, clenching her keys in her hand. All her life she’d wanted someone to fight for her, someone to put her first. She’d had a right to push for more from her marriage.
He wasn’t willing to fight for her as he’d fought for his oil deal in London, so she would do the fighting.
She would fight for her self-respect, and she would teach their child to fight for his, too.
Kira had been in no condition to be interviewed by Gary the afternoon she’d parted from Quinn, so she’d rescheduled.
Two miserable days later, she still didn’t feel strong enough, but here she sat, facing Gary across his wide, cluttered desk in his flashy corner office that overl
ooked the museum grounds and the busy street that fronted the modern building.
If only she could stop thinking about Quinn and how bereft she’d felt ever since he’d agreed to end their marriage.
Concentrating on Gary, who wasn’t the most fascinating man, was difficult. Lately, everything had been difficult. Returning to Quinn’s gorgeous loft, packing the beautiful clothes that she would no longer need and then moving back into her cramped apartment with her dead plants and resentful cat had been full of emotional hurdles.
Rudy wouldn’t sit on her lap or use his scratching post. Only this morning he’d peed on her pillow just to show her how much he resented being abandoned.
“Quit feeling sorry for yourself! I’m the one who got married and pregnant…and separated,” she’d yelled at him.
Swishing his tail, he’d flattened his ears and stalked indifferently to his bowl where he’d howled for more tuna.
She tried to pay attention to Gary, she really did, but her mind constantly wandered to her miserable new separated state and to Quinn and how cold he’d been right before he’d watched her walk away.
Suddenly, she found Gary’s droning insufferable and longed to be anywhere else, even home alone with her sullen cat. If she didn’t interrupt Gary, he might easily rant on for another half an hour.
“Gary, this is all very fascinating, but I need to ask a question.”
He frowned.
“Is this job offer contingent on me remaining married to Quinn?”
“What?”
“Let me be blunt.”
His mouth tightened. “You do that so well.”
“Quinn and I have separated. Do you still want me for this job? “
His face fell. “Separated?” Flushing, he pushed himself back from his desk. “Well, that does change things.” Recovering quickly, he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Still, I want you to work here, of course.”
Her voice was equally silky as she leaned toward him. “Of course. I’m so glad we understand each other.”
A few minutes later he hastily concluded the interview. “I’ll call you,” he said.
She left, wondering if he would.
As she stood on the curb outside the museum, about to cross the street, Jaycee called her on her cell.
“How are things going?”
“I’ve been better,” Kira replied. “The interview with Gary went okay, I guess.”
“And Rudy?”
“He peed on my pillow this morning.”
“Well, you abandoned him. He’s still mad at you.”
“I guess. Hold on—”
Pressing the phone against her ear, she looked both ways to cross the street. But just as she jumped into the crosswalk a motorcycle made a left turn, going too fast.
She felt a surge of panic, but it was too late. In the next moment, she was hurled into the air.
It was true what they said about your life flashing before your eyes.
She saw Quinn’s darkly handsome face and knew suddenly, without a doubt, that she loved him.
It didn’t matter that he could never love her. Or maybe she knew, on some deep level, that he must love her, too—at least a little.
She remembered all the times he’d looked at her and she’d felt her soul join to his.
She’d been an idiot to walk out on the man she loved, to abandon a man so afraid of love that he denied what was in his own heart. He needed her.
She wanted to get up and run back to his office. She wanted to beg him for another chance. But when she tried to sit up, her body felt as if it were made of concrete.
Someone knelt over her, but she couldn’t see his face.
“Quinn,” she cried. “I want Quinn.”
The man spoke, but she couldn’t hear what he said.
Then everything went black.
“A Jerry Sullivan is here to see you,” Quinn’s secretary informed him crisply. “Says he’s family.”
“Show him in,” Quinn ordered in a dull voice as he set the lightning whelk Kira had given him back on the shelf. “He’s my uncle. He’ll want coffee with cream and sugar.”
Uncle Jerry didn’t wait for Quinn’s secretary to return with his coffee before he pounced.
“Sorry to interrupt you, but I just heard you separated from your beautiful wife. I’d ask you to tell me it isn’t true, but since you look like something my dog dragged in from the gutter, I won’t bother.”
“Good to see you, too, Uncle J.”
“What the hell did you do to drive her away?”
“I never should have married her in the first place.”
“If you let her go, you’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life. You’ve already wasted too many years of your life alone.”
“Let me be, why don’t you?”
“You’re still in love with her. I can see it!”
“The hell I am. Did anybody ever tell you to mind your own business?”
“Sure. You. Plenty of times. Good thing I’ve got better sense than to listen to the likes of an upstart nephew who doesn’t have a clue about what’s good for him.”
“I think some men are better off single. And I’m probably one of them.”
“Bull. I saw the way you were with her. You’re like your father. He was the most loving man I ever knew.”
“And what did it get him—other than a broken heart and an early grave?”
“You’re not your father. Kira’s not Esther. Kira’s the real thing. Esther was a beautiful woman who knew how to play your dad. And, yes, your dad foolishly loved her with all his heart—just like he loved you. But when you get down to it, even when you’re wrong about the people you love, loving is still the best way to live. That’s why we still miss Kade. He loved us all so much!”
“My father killed himself because my mother left him.”
“You’ll never make me believe that! Kade wouldn’t ever deliberately walk out on you. You were everything to him. His death was an accident.”
“Uncle Jerry, thanks for coming by.”
“Great. Now you’re giving me the brush-off.”
“I know you mean well…but I’m a grown man—”
“Who has the right to screw up his life royally and who’s doing a damn good job of it.”
“If you’ve said your piece, I’ve got work to do.”
“You’ve always got work to do! Maybe it’s time you got a life.” Uncle Jerry smiled grimly. “Okay, I’ll leave you to it, not that it’s any fun watching my favorite nephew walk out on the best thing that ever happened to him.”
“I didn’t walk out on her! Damn it! She left me!”
“So, quit sulking, and go after her!”
“If only it were that easy!”
“Trust me—it is. The only thing stopping you is your damn arrogance.”
“Get the hell out of here!”
Holding a silver tray with a coffee cup, Quinn’s secretary pushed the door open and would have entered except Quinn held up a hand. “Uncle Jerry won’t be having coffee after all. He’s leaving.”
For some time after his uncle had gone, Quinn sat in his office and seethed. Slowly, as he cooled down, everything the older man had said began replaying in his mind. Since his father’s death, Uncle Jerry was the one person Quinn had been able to count on.
Quinn walked over to the shelf where he’d placed the lightning whelk. How full of hope he’d felt when she’d given it to him. He remembered her shining eyes, her glowing beauty.
Turning away, he grabbed his cell phone. For a long moment he just held it.
Quinn didn’t just want to call Kira for his own selfish reasons. He was genuinely worried about her and the baby. The longer he went without talking to her, the more worried he grew. Would it be so wrong to call just to make sure she and the baby were all right? Would it? Even if they never got back together, she was the mother of his future child.
Swallowing his pride, he lifted his phone and punched in her number. As
he waited for her to answer, his gut clenched.
Then, on the third ring, a man answered.
“I want Kira,” Quinn thundered. “I need to speak to my wife.”
“Sir, I’m so sorry. I’m terribly afraid there’s been an accident…”
The man introduced himself as someone working at the local hospital. He said something about a motorcycle hitting Kira and that Kira had been taken to his emergency room by ambulance. After getting the specifics, Quinn hung up and was grabbing his jacket and on his way to the door, when Earl Murray rang his cell phone.
Quinn picked up on the first ring. “I just heard Kira’s been hurt.”
“Apparently, Jaycee was talking to her when the motorcycle hit her… I don’t know anything else.”
“Then I’ll meet you at the hospital,” Quinn said. His heart was in his throat as he bolted out of his office in a dead run, praying he wouldn’t be too late.
Sixteen
Quinn had never been as scared in his life as he was when he stood over Kira watching the IV drip clear liquid into her veins. Her narrow face had the awful grayish tint Quinn had seen only one time before—on his father’s face as he’d lain in a pool of his own blood.
“Tell me she’s going to be all right. Tell me the baby’s all right.”
“I’ve told you,” the doctor repeated patiently. “Apparently, she was thrown onto the pavement, but seems to have suffered only a concussion and a few bruises. After a night or two of rest, she and the baby will be fine. She’s one lucky young lady.”
“You’re sure?” For some reason, the facts weren’t sticking in Quinn’s head as they usually did.
“As sure as I can be under the circumstances.”
“When will she wake up?”
“Like I told you before—soon. You just have to be patient.”
An hour later, the longest hour of Quinn’s life, her long lashes fluttered. Sensing that she was struggling to focus on him, Quinn gripped her hand and leaned forward.
“Kira… Darlin’…”
“Quinn… I wanted you to come. I wanted it so much.”
“Kira, you’re in a hospital. You’re going to be okay. The baby, too.”
