Cash took a seat next to me and handed over his phone. The lyrics were deep and could take on a lot of meanings, but I saw where he was going with his idea. I nodded and handed him back the phone. “I’ll work on something.”
“Are you okay with that?” he asked, biting his bottom lip.
“Yeah.” I nodded, feeling a pain in my chest. His song was more or less about my sister, Penny, and the struggles she’d faced for years. I didn’t want to look too much into his lyrics, but I knew that he’d been looking at my sister a little differently since we’d been home. Cash was a manwhore, and I didn’t want him fucking around with her, but Penny was a good judge of character and wouldn’t let him take advantage of her.
Also, if he fucked over my sister, I’d kill him.
“Alright man,” he sighed, “I’m heading to take a shower.”
“I’ll be out to the bus after Bleeding Secrets gets done,” I replied, climbing to my feet.
Abby was out at the front of the building, but I couldn’t go out there to her. There were thousands of people between us, and I would need a security guard to make it there in one piece. Plus, now that we were playing in small arenas, it wasn’t advisable for us to be roaming around without an escort.
Our popularity was climbing faster day by day. It wouldn’t be long before we would need our own set of security guards and a bigger crew. The thought of that worried me, but it also thrilled me. This was what the band had worked for since day one. When I came along, Ace, Taylor, and Cash had explained to me that that was their end game…to be number one.
And I had agreed.
The roar of the crowd and the wail of Preston’s guitar signaled they were halfway through their set. I found my way out to the side of the stage and watched them. The smoke and lights excited the crowd. Bodies were packed on the floor, and up on the second floor, people were on their feet. There were doors at the back of the venue that were closed. On the other side was a huge area set up for all the bands’ merchandise, and that was where my Abby was working.
The building made a huge circle, and I left the side of the stage to see if I could find the door that led to the front where she was. I just needed to lay eyes on her to make sure she was okay. A few of the crew members from Bleeding Secrets mingled around, waiting for the show to be over so they could break everything down and load up to head out to our next stop in Phoenix, Arizona.
I came to the end of the hallway and was faced with two gray doors. I carefully pushed on the bar, only opening it a hair so I could see what was on the other side. I smiled to myself when I realized I had found what I was looking for. I didn’t have to open it far, because our booth was only about ten feet away, and Abby was standing there talking to Kevin, one of our other roadies. She must’ve seen the door crack open, because she turned to look in my direction. The corner of her lip lifted in a mischievous smile as she walked over, placing her hand on the door.
“What are you doing?” she growled. “You can’t be out here.”
“I wanted to check on you,” I replied.
“I’m fine,” she promised.
“It’s about to get hectic out here,” I warned. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, Braxton,” she giggled. “Get out of here.”
“Fine, but call me if you need me,” I ordered, hoping she’d listen to me for once.
“I will.” Abby rolled her eyes and patted the door. “Go! Before someone sees you.”
Nodding, I stepped away from the door and let it close, shutting her out and leaving me to stand there all alone. My heart told me to stay there and take a seat by the door so I could be at her side if she needed help, but my mind screamed at me to give her space.
Abby had changed so much since before the accident. The Abby I knew was soft and submissive. This Abby was strong and independent. I didn’t know what to think about her change. It was going to take me some time to get used to seeing her for who she was and not the scarred woman I left in a coma all those years ago.
Chapter 16
Abby
Holy shit! How many shirts did one person want from Fatal Cross? The woman who just walked away bought every style they had in stock. I shook my head and helped the next person in line. Kevin and Liam were right next to me, helping out with the crowd. There had to be a hundred people waiting to pick up their souvenirs. I couldn’t complain, because the booth for Bleeding Secrets had three times the amount of people in line, but they had six people selling the merchandise.
It took about an hour after the show ended to clear everyone out. Placing the back of my hand over my mouth, I covered a deep yawn. Coraline wasn’t kidding when she had said it would be crazy. I honestly didn’t know how she’d done this ever since she had gotten out of high school.
“You doing okay?” Liam asked, coming up to my side.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “I don’t think I prepared myself for this.”
“Good thing we have about twenty hours before we do it again,” he teased, putting a stack of remaining shirts into a box. “We will have a day off on Monday.”
Today was Friday, and we had to be in Phoenix tomorrow night for the next show. I shook my head and handed him another stack of shirts. “I will probably sleep until we get to Phoenix, then.”
“That’s what I do,” he chuckled. “Come on. Let’s finish up and head to the bus.”
It took us another fifteen minutes to load up and get Kevin to load all of the boxes into the trailer. By the time I climbed the stairs to the bus, I was exhausted. I just wanted to take a shower and climb into my bunk.
“How did it go?” Coraline asked as I entered the living room area at the front of the bus. She was sitting crossed-legged on the black leather sofa. Taylor was beside her, but he was busy picking away softly on an acoustic guitar. He looked up and nodded at me, but didn’t say anything as he returned playing.
“I’m beat,” I yawned. “I think I’m going to shower and crash.”
“Good plan,” she agreed. “We don’t leave for another hour and a half. So, you have time.”
I didn’t want to ask where Braxton was, and it concerned me that he wasn’t in his bunk when I grabbed my backpack out of my own. His curtain was open and his small bed was made. It didn’t look like he’d even laid down since I had seen him peek through the backstage door earlier.
When I walked into the back door of the arena, I looked to my left and decided to stop by the green room to see if he was still there, but didn’t find him. Frowning, I made my way over to the showers and hurried through my routine, twisting my hair up in a blue towel to keep it off my shoulders.
I stared in the mirror above the sink and took a long look at my scars. They were there, always staring back at me. I didn’t hate them…I didn’t love them, either. Those marks were a part of my life, and would be forever. I would live with them…I would die with them. The only thing I regretted about them was Braxton would always look at me and remember what had happened.
I wished I could take those memories from him. He didn’t need that guilt in his life, because he was well on his way to the top of the music industry. I wanted the best for him.
Tears fell over my lashes as the pain of realizing I was the one thing that held him back. If I was being honest with myself, I knew I shouldn’t be here. I should’ve never come on this tour. He needed to move on, as well. Just like he was hoping I would do after all this time.
Pressing my back to the wall, I let my legs give out as I slid down to my butt, not caring about the nastiness of the floor as I held the towel around my body tighter. The longer I kept my eyes closed, the more I saw his face in my mind.
The pain…the anger…the guilt…and my scars.
“What have I done?” I whispered, knowing I was alone.
But I wasn’t.
“Abby?” Braxton gasped as he stood in the doorway to the women’s showers. His large body took up the entire entrance. I wiped my eyes, trying to hide the waterworks. I really didn’t w
ant him to see me break down, but as he scooped me up in his arms, I knew my breakdown was going to make things worse. “Are you hurt? Talk to me.”
“What are you doing in here?” I sniffled, trying to clear my throat.
“Looking for you,” he answered as he walked over to a small bench by the showers. “Damn it, Abby. Tell me what’s wrong!”
“I’m fine.” Then I panicked, realizing a lot of my scars were visible. “Please, let me get dressed, Braxton.”
“Not until you tell me what the fuck happened to you,” he snarled. “Did someone come in here? Did they touch you?”
“No, please,” I begged, pulling the towel tighter around my body. “Let me put on some clothes, I don’t want you to see me like this.”
My statement made him freeze, sending his gaze away from my own. I wanted to touch the side of his face and bring it back to mine, but I didn’t. It was important that I kept my modesty around him. This would never work out with him. I just couldn’t let him see the healed damage of what he’d done.
Thankfully, he carefully set me aside and turned away, placing his face into his hands. “Get dressed,” he ordered, but I heard his voice crack at the end.
I scooped up my clothes and locked myself in a stall, pulling on my panties and bra as quickly as possible. My pajama pants were covered in tiny pink and red hearts, and I threw on a red, long sleeved top to sleep in for the night. When I walked out, Braxton was still sitting there, but his head was leaned back against the wall.
“Do you not want me to see the scars?” His question came out as a whisper, and I almost asked him to repeat himself, but I didn’t.
“Braxton,” I said, taking a seat next to him on the bench. “I didn’t think about how hard it would be on you to see me day to day on this tour. I guess when I got out of the shower and looked at myself, I realized what I was putting you through by seeing me. It broke my heart, because I don’t want you to feel guilty anymore, but I honestly don’t know how to make you understand that I don’t hate you, or even blame you, for what happened.”
“I don’t think I will ever forgive myself,” he began. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying at his confession. “You were my world, Abby. I’d made a promise to myself to keep you safe from the first day I realized you were mine. That night…that night was me at my lowest point. The drugs were all I wanted, and I couldn’t fight the need. When you tried to touch my arm where I’d been injecting the poison, I lost my mind. To realize you touched that, well, it shattered my heart. Then the next thing I knew, I was waking up with two broken legs and the smell of burning metal. I could hear you screaming, calling for me. I was helpless, and I failed my promise to you.”
“It was my fault, too,” I admitted, holding up my hand when he tried to interrupt me. “Wait, I’m not done.”
“Do we really have to talk about this, Abby?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “It’s time, Braxton.”
“Go ahead,” he said, defeated.
“I never blamed you,” I said, reaching for his hand. He took it without hesitation. “I should’ve never argued with you in that car. I knew you’d been doing drugs, because you didn’t hide it well at all. The night you picked me up, I should’ve insisted on driving, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to go against your wishes. I was young and dumb.”
Braxton didn’t speak for the longest time. I waited, but he just opened and closed his mouth several times. It was obvious he couldn’t find the words to explain his feelings.
“I’ve changed a lot, but I’m still the Abby you knew all those years ago. I’ve just grown up and had to learn to do things on my own.”
“I couldn’t be around you,” he admitted.
“I understand.” I frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“What the hell do you have to be sorry for?”
“Being here,” I answered, hoping to keep the tears from reappearing. “I know it has to be hard on you, and if it is, I need you to tell me. I will go home and give you peace.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” he replied, his shoulders slumping.
“If it hurts too much…” I began, but let my words trail off.
“It doesn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would,” he replied.
“I still love you, Braxton,” I admitted, wiping away a stray tear, “but I’ll leave if it’s what you need.”
“I need you here,” he answered, turning to capture my lips in a gentle kiss.
Chapter 17
Braxton
Lights lit up the stage as the last song began. Ace stood on the riser and belted out the lyrics as I got lost in the music. The crowd roared and swayed along to the music. Taylor played with his head thrown back, and Cash flirted with the women in the crowd.
I couldn’t think about the last week of shows. I barely saw Abby, and it put me in the worst fucking mood. I didn’t talk to anyone, just did my job and crashed in my bunk as soon as I could. Maybe I was hiding from her, maybe I was just fucking tired from the five days’ worth of back-to-back performances.
The lights went down on the stage, signaling our set was over. I wiped the sweat out of my eyes, realizing that I must’ve played without even realizing it, because I was too busy thinking about Abby.
Our crew rushed past me to take down our set, and I found my way to the green room to lay down on the couch and grab some water. My hands ached from the hell I’d put them through for the past hour.
I heard a commotion outside the door, but didn’t make a move to check it out. Bleeding Secrets had a ton of security and crew. I was sure whatever that was would be taken care of before things got out of hand.
“Son of a bitch,” Ace cursed as he came through the door.
“What the hell was that all about?” I mumbled, not removing my arm from over my eyes.
“Fans,” he answered, looking annoyed. “Three guys somehow got backstage and rushed Archer and Preston.”
“Fuck,” I growled, swinging my legs around so I could sit up. “They okay?”
“Yeah,” Ace said, shaking his head. “Their security caught them before things got crazy.”
I nodded and fell back against the couch. I was exhausted. I couldn’t wait to get to Dallas and spend some time away from all of the craziness of the shows. As much as I loved performing, sometimes I just needed some downtime.
The door to the green room opened and Abby came in, looking around the room. She walked toward a box and squatted down beside it, pulling it open to dig inside.
“Abby?” I called out, startling her.
“Shit, you scared me.” She paused, frowning as she got a good look at me. “Are you okay? You look pale.”
“I’m exhausted,” I answered honestly. “What are you looking for?”
“Ahh, those little button things,” she shrugged. “We are out of them.”
“Let me help you,” I groaned as I rolled off the couch, but didn’t make it very far before she was in front of me, pushing me back down onto the couch.
“No, sir,” she ordered, shaking her head. “Where’s your water?”
“Haven’t gotten any yet.” I sighed. “Abby, let me help you.”
She ignored me and walked over to the fridge in the corner, pulling the door open. She retrieved three bottles and brought them over, handing me two and cracking one open for herself. “Drink.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded, doing as I was instructed.
I dropped the empty to the ground and opened another one, downing it as quickly as I could. Abby stood there watching me until I was done. She offered me the half bottle she had left, but I waved her off. “No, I’m good. Thank you.”
She nodded and returned to the box. I tried not to watch her as she crouched down, but the position she was in made her jeans hug her hips in a seductive way that had my cock hardening in my pants. I licked my lips and started to stand, but mentally kicked myself. I couldn’t touch her.
I watched as she grabbed what she had been
looking for and left the room. Ace was across the room, watching my every move. He shook his head sadly and grabbed his phone. I didn’t say anything to him, just let myself melt back into the couch.
I’d rest and deal with my feelings toward Abby later. Right now, I just needed to cool down and calm my raging erection.
Chapter 18
Abby
Dallas was the place we had three days off, and I planned on getting some laundry done at a local laundromat with Coraline and Taylor after I slept half the day away. Braxton hadn’t spoken to me much since the night he found me crying in the showers.
I’d been too busy with running their sales booth at the shows to really be around him, anyway. By the time the last person was out, he was already in his bunk fast asleep. I spent more time helping load up than required, but I was feeling good and I had no pain in my arm. So, I wasn’t going to slack on the job I was being paid to do.
I heard Coraline jump out of her bunk and curse. I stuck my head out to see her going into the small bathroom. The pregnancy was hard on her, and I hated to see her sick, but she was stubborn and kept up with everything she needed to do for the band. I honestly didn’t know how she did it night after night.
I grabbed my book and slid out of my bunk, pausing as I looked at the drawn curtain to Braxton’s bunk. I could hear him breathing softly, and I sighed when I remembered all those times I used to wake up early just to watch him sleep. It’d been so long that I thought I’d forgotten, but obviously, I hadn’t.
“Good morning.” Ace smiled as I walked toward the coffee pot on the counter.
“Morning,” I mumbled and set about making my cup. I took a seat in the dinette across from Ace and looked out the window. We were parked in a hotel parking lot and the sun was shining brightly. I looked at my phone and frowned when I realized I’d slept longer than I’d wanted. It was close to noon, and I needed to make plans for the day.
“I need to find a place to wash my clothes,” I mumbled, not really speaking to Ace.
Fatal Seduction (Fatal Cross Live! Book 3) Page 7
