by Andrew Grey
Dante stared and didn’t move when Ryan’s gaze settled back on him. He didn’t answer either. He wasn’t sure he could do that. Talking about his feelings wasn’t easy. He hadn’t been brought up that way. Dante swallowed as Ryan’s face got closer to his, and he licked his lips in anticipation of the kiss he fully expected. He even closed his eyes, but nothing happened. “What?” Dante asked softly.
“You didn’t answer me,” Ryan told him. “Do you trust me?”
Dante blinked a few times. “Yes, I trust you,” he said, wondering where Ryan got these ideas.
“Then talk to me,” Ryan said.
“Okay, I promise to try to explain what I’m feeling, but I’m not going to turn into some little girl who whines about everything.”
Ryan rolled his eyes. “I hope not, because I didn’t fall in love with some little girl. I fell in love with you.” Ryan slid his legs back and lifted one hand before gripping Dante’s dick through his jeans. “And you’re definitely no little girl.” Ryan squeezed harder. “You’re definitely a big boy, and I like big boys.” Ryan leaned close to Dante’s ear. “You know what else I really like? Chaps.” Ryan then licked Dante’s ear. “You wearing nothing but a pair of chaps and a smile.”
“Jesus,” Dante moaned. “Are you sure you’re up for this? You just got out of the hospital. Maybe we should go inside and make sure Gramps is in bed. Then maybe we can do this on a nice soft bed where I can be sure you won’t get hurt.”
Ryan didn’t move for a while. “Okay, but I spent a lot of hours in that hospital dreaming of you in nothing but a pair of chaps, and maybe your hat.”
Dante tugged Ryan closer. “Then I promise I’ll make your fantasy come true, whatever it is, as long as you wait until you’re feeling better.” Ryan nodded and then kissed him. Dante held Ryan tight as he returned the kiss with everything he had. “I know this isn’t how we usually do this, but….” Dante often needed Ryan’s strength, but right now there was something else he needed so much more. Dante held Ryan to him, gently cupping Ryan’s head in his hand, and then rolled them on the padding. “I really thought I was going to lose you,” Dante whispered. “I thought I’d lost the one person, besides Gramps, I could trust and would be there for me.”
“Hey, we’ll be there for each other. We already have been,” Ryan said.
“How’d you get so smart?” Dante asked.
Ryan scoffed and rolled his eyes. “If I’m so smart, then when I was in the hospital, why did I send away the one person I wanted with me most of all?”
“Your parents were in town. They love you,” Dante said, lightly stroking Ryan’s cheek before kissing him again. He was so damned happy he didn’t quite know what to do.
“My parents love me, but only on their terms. They will never be able to accept my life for what it is. I know that. Their beliefs will only let them accept what they can understand and that’s it. So, yes, I love them, but because they’re my parents, not because they truly understand me. You’re the person I love most. You stayed with me even when I acted like an ass. I pushed you away because I didn’t want you or anyone to see me needy and weak, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that was how you were showing you loved me. Yes, you don’t talk about your feelings—I don’t tend to either, I guess—but you show them.”
“Again, how’d you get so smart?”
“It wasn’t me; it was your grandfather.”
Dante rolled his eyes. “Look, I have you flat on your back.” Dante shifted to make sure there wasn’t too much weight on Ryan. “We’re alone and”—he reached between Ryan’s legs, stroking the ridge of Ryan’s hard cock through his pants—“both of us raring to go, and we’re talking about Gramps and your parents. There’s something seriously disturbed about this conversation.” Dante stroked him a few more times and watched as Ryan’s eyes darkened with desire.
“I believe you promised me a soft bed,” Ryan said. “But if you keep that up, I won’t make it that far.”
Dante thought about continuing what he was doing and making Ryan come in his pants right there, but no, they weren’t kids rubbing each other off in secret in a barn, so he stopped and carefully stood up before helping Ryan to his feet. Ryan had just gotten home, and he deserved—they both deserved—to make love in a bed until Ryan fell asleep exhausted and happy. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
Dante guided Ryan off the padding and toward the door, making sure the bucking machine was powered off and turning off the lights before walking hand in hand with Ryan toward the house.
“Well, look at this,” Dante heard from behind him. He turned to see the owner of the neighboring ranch walking toward them. “I see the rumors are true.”
Dante released Ryan’s hand. “If you want to make trouble, I’ll give it to you in spades,” Dante said, and Old Man Price’s stride faltered. He seemed to think for a few seconds and then approached with a touch of caution.
“I didn’t come to make trouble,” he said.
“But you talk to people like that and expect not to find any,” Ryan said forcefully. “Are you dumb as well as ugly?” Dante fake-glared at Ryan for a split second as he did his best to suppress a smile. He’d never liked their neighbor. The man raised horses, and Dante always figured the man had spent years perfecting his imitation of the south end of a horse traveling north.
“If you don’t want trouble, then what do you want? Gramps is asleep, and there better be a good reason or else I won’t disturb him.” Dante wanted nothing more than to throw Price off the ranch, but for some inexplicable reason he and Gramps had been friends for years and Dante didn’t want Gramps upset.
“I heard your grandfather wanted to sell and I came over to make him an offer,” Old Man Price said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to speak to Hy.” The old fart walked toward the front porch.
“I’ll see if Gramps is awake,” Dante said. “You can have a seat on the porch while I check.” Dante glared at their neighbor, daring him to argue. Eventually, Old Man Price lowered himself into one of the chairs, and Dante went inside, with Ryan behind him. “I really thought all this was over with,” Dante whispered after Ryan closed the door behind them.
“You could just go out and tell him that your grandfather isn’t interested,” Ryan suggested.
“He’ll only come back. He’s wanted this place for years,” Dante explained. “We have a great source of water, year round. The ranch sits on a small spring that has yet to dry up, no matter how hot it gets. He has to rely on the creek, a retention pond, and expensive wells. A few times he’s come close to losing everything. He wouldn’t keep anything of the ranch except the land.”
“What’s going on, boys?” Gramps asked as he shuffled into the living room. “You’ve got your heads together like a pair of gossipy women.” Dante looked at Ryan for support and then at his grandfather.
“Mr. Price is here to see you. He wants to buy the ranch,” Dante said. “I know you can do what you want, but you know how I feel.” Dante glanced at Ryan. “We talked about that.” Dante knew the reason he and Gramps had talked about it was because of Ryan.
Gramps shuffled to his chair. “Let’s hear what he has to say,” Gramps said, and Dante sighed before opening the door.
“Mr. Price. Gramps is up,” Dante said and waited for the older man to get up and come to the door. “Can I get you some tea while you talk?”
“That’d be nice,” he said a bit warily, and Dante went to fix glasses, leaving Ryan to sit with Gramps. “Shouldn’t we be talking in private?” Dante heard Mr. Price ask.
“Ryan, here, is my financial advisor as well as Dante’s boyfriend. He may as well hear what you’re proposing so I don’t have to relay the details to him.”
Dante smiled as he set about filling glasses with sweet tea over ice. He placed them on a tray along with some cookies they had in the cupboard and went back into the living room. “Here you are,” Dante said. He’d placed a straw in Gramps’s glass to help him drink,
but Mr. Price took that one, and after he’d distributed the glasses, Dante went back in the kitchen to get another straw for Gramps.
“So, Hy, I heard you were interested in selling and I wanted to make you an offer,” Mr. Price said, and Dante had to stop from grinding his teeth together. “The ranch hasn’t been living up to its potential these last few years, and I could use the additional acreage.” He sipped from his glass, and Dante sat down next to Ryan on the sofa.
“How much are you offering?” Gramps asked, and Dante wanted to get up and leave the room. He hated the very idea of this conversation, and the thought of selling the ranch almost made him ill, but it was Gramps’s place and not his, so he kept quiet.
Mr. Price pulled out a small pad from his pocket along with a pen and wrote for a few seconds before handing Gramps the paper. Then he took a drink from his glass and set it on the table. “We’ve been friends for a lot of years, and you know that’s a good offer.” He looked from Gramps to them, like he expected to be jumped or something, and then shifted his gaze back to Gramps. “You think about it. That will see to it that you’re always taken care of and don’t want for anything.”
Dante’s legs bounced, and it took all his willpower to keep from jumping to his feet and yelling at the old fuck that Gramps wouldn’t want for anything as long as Dante could help it, but he felt Ryan touch his arm lightly and he calmed down. He still wanted to punch the old fart’s lights out, though. “Thank you for coming,” Dante ground between his teeth.
“You think about it and get back to me, Hy,” Mr. Price said and then stepped toward the door. “Call me if you need anything,” he said, looking at Dante. “Anything at all.” Mr. Price turned his gaze back to Gramps, nodded, and then left the house, but not before Dante saw him flash a scowl in his direction.
“What was that all about?” Ryan asked.
Gramps sighed, and Dante noticed his glass was still resting on the arm of the chair. Ryan stood up and gently took it from Gramps and brought the straw to his lips. Gramps took a drink and then smiled at Ryan as he set the glass on the table. Gramps had been doing so well lately, but Dante realized he shouldn’t have expected it to last.
“Vernon can be a bit self-righteous,” Gramps said, his speech a touch slurred. “It’s a lot of money, though,” he said, and Dante picked up the piece of paper, his eyes widening when he saw the amount. “It would mean you wouldn’t need to take care of me when I can’t walk no more and can’t feed myself.” Gramps rolled his head against the back of the chair. “I know you don’t want to think about that, Dante, but it’s coming, faster than any of us wants.” Gramps lifted his hand off the arm of the chair and let it fall back again. “This disease is taking everything.” Gramps’s speech was becoming even more slurred, and each word ripped at Dante’s heart.
“Gramps, you took care of me all those years when I was growing up. I’ll take care of you now. I don’t want you to go to some home with strangers.”
“You know I won’t be able to walk for much longer,” Gramps said, and Dante nodded.
“Then we’ll get you a wheelchair, one of those with a motor so you can drive it,” Ryan said, and Dante looked at him, lifting his eyebrows. “If we need to, we’ll get you a hospital bed for your room, and we can get one of those flat-screen televisions and mount it on the wall. Whatever you want.” Even Gramps stared at Ryan for a few seconds.
“Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself in for?” Gramps asked Ryan, and he nodded. Dante wasn’t quite sure just what had happened, and he alternately looked at Gramps and then at Ryan in near complete confusion. Gramps shifted his gaze to Dante. “You’re sure about this?”
Dante glanced at Ryan, who nodded and then quietly left the room. Sometimes Dante swore Ryan could read his mind. “Gramps, if you want to sell and move into a home, I won’t stop you, but that isn’t what I want. You and Grams and even my mother loved this place and fought for it for years. You worked this land and made something of it. I know it sounds a bit dumb….” Dante swallowed. “But after you’re gone, this place is what I’ll have of you. I want to expand the herd and even raise some horses.”
“Dante,” Gramps said, cutting him off. “What if that isn’t what Ryan wants?”
Dante’s throat went dry instantly.
“You have to ask him,” Gramps said. “I know this is hard for you, and that’s my fault, but you have to ask him what he wants.”
“Gramps,” Dante warned.
“Don’t take that tone with me,” Gramps said just like he had when Dante was a boy. “I know you love him. I’m not blind. And I know he’s your other half, just like your grandmother was mine. After she died, people tried to fix me up with some of the widow women in town, but your grandmother was it for me, and Ryan is it for you.” Gramps shifted in the chair. “Damn ass went to sleep,” he grumbled and shifted again. “I almost let your grandmother get away. You see, Vernon had eyes for her too, and I thought he could give her a better life, so I kept pushing them together. It was Vernon who realized what was happening and made me see sense.”
“I always wondered why you put up with that old grouch,” Dante said.
“Yes. He was ready to ask for your grandmother’s hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he talked some sense into me. Turned out your grandmother loved me too, and we were happy together for almost fifty years.” Gramps’s expression softened, and Dante figured he was far away. “No one could compare to her.” A tear ran down Gramps’s face. “The thing is, boy, I can count on one hand the times I told her how I felt. We loved each other something deep, but I rarely told her. I knew that she knew and that was enough then. But….” Gramps voice faltered. “I wish now that I’d told her how I felt every day of my life. She deserved to be showered with flowers and told she was loved. Instead, we lived a life of hard work, she inside the house and me out.”
“Grams was happy,” Dante said. “I can always remember her singing while she cooked.”
“I know she was, and so was I. That’s not my point.” Gramps took Dante’s hand, and Dante felt his hand shaking slightly. “I don’t have long for this world—I know it and so do you. But it’s at the end of a man’s life when he realizes the things he should have done better, and one of those is telling the person I loved most in the world how I felt about her. Thought talking about feelings was girly. Turns out there’s nothing girly about talking to the folks you love.” Gramps held Dante’s hand for a while after he’d gone quiet, and it took all Dante’s strength to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. “So you talk to Ryan and find out what he wants before you go making any decisions. Before I go, I only want two things: to see you happy, and maybe, if the good Lord wills it, to see you ride as champion.”
Dante nodded and Gramps released his hand. “Thanks,” Dante said and then pulled his grandfather into a hug. “I’ll do my best for both of them.”
“I know you will,” Gramps said, and Dante released him and then stood up. “Go on,” Gramps prodded, and Dante turned and left the room to try to find his lover. He wandered through the house and then outside, finally finding Ryan beside one of the paddocks.
“Did you figure out what you want to do?” Ryan asked without turning around.
“Not yet,” Dante answered as he leaned on the fence rail next to Ryan. “I know what I want to do, but what actually happens… well, part of that depends on you.” Dante watched as one of Gramps’s horses ambled up to where they were leaning, looking for treats.
Ryan straightened up and turned toward him. “How so? This is your family’s ranch.”
“I know, but….” Dante faltered briefly. “I want you in my life. The time we’ve had together hasn’t just been us fooling around, so that means if I keep the ranch, then….” God, why was this so hard? Dante took a deep breath and plowed on. “If I decide to keep the ranch, it affects you, because I’m hoping you’ll live here too someday. If I keep it, then I’m tied to the land and this place.”
R
yan grinned. “I’ve known that for a while.”
“You bastard, you made me say all that on purpose,” Dante said, tugging Ryan close.
“Yeah, because sometimes a guy likes to be asked. And for the record, I want you to keep the ranch. My condo is just the place I come home to after work. It’s nice, but it isn’t home. I haven’t had a home in a long time. So when the time comes, I’ll sell it and move out here, if that’s what you’re asking. As long as we can get high-speed Internet and cable TV and stuff, we can convert one of the bedrooms to an office, and I can work there most days and go in to Houston when I need to meet with clients. It can work if we make it work.” Ryan leaned closer. “If you want to make it work.”
“How do you do that? You seem to know what I want before I say anything,” Dante said.
“Hey,” Ryan whispered. “Close your eyes and let everything go.” Dante wasn’t sure if this was the right place for this, but he did as Ryan asked. “Good. Now listen to your heart. It’ll tell you what I want because I’m part of you, just like you’re part of me.” Dante nodded and let the warmth spread through his body. “See, you already knew the answer before you asked. This is a wonderful place, with space for horses and cattle, and maybe a kid or two.” Dante’s eyes popped open, and Ryan smiled back to him. “Not for a while, but yeah, we can have kids.”
The warmth spread further and deepened. This was so right, bone-deep right. Then Ryan kissed him, and everything was better than right. It was perfect.
Epilogue
RYAN pulled into the covered entrance outside the arena. “Can I help you?” one of the guards asked warily through the window. Ryan flashed the pass Dante had given him, and it was like the waters parted. Ryan opened the truck door, and the surly guard was now all smiles. “Sorry about that,” he said, and Ryan smiled back.
“No problem,” he said as he walked around to the tailgate. He lowered it and carefully removed the wheelchair from the back.
