*'Kelly, I'm not going to hurt you." He made the words firm but gentle, trying to pierce the wall of her fear.
''No," she whimpered, trying to pull away as he drew her forward.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he repeated.
For a moment, it seemed as if his words had gotten through. She didn't protest as he pulled her coat open. Dan thought they might be able to get through this with a minimum of stress. But when he started to ease the coat off her shoulders, she seemed to explode.
"No!"
She came off the bed, her arms swinging wildly. He had been expecting passive resistance, protests and tears, but the sudden violence caught him off guard. He ducked back, muttering a curse as her hand slammed into his nose hard enough to send a jolt of pain all the way to the back of his head. His heel bumped into the bowl of water and he staggered back, half falling. The back of his head hit the wall with a resounding thump.
Her breath coming in deep, sobbing gasps, Kelly scrambled off the bed. Blinking to clear the momentary fuzziness from his vision, Dan lunged after her. He caught her at the bedroom door, one arm snaking around her waist.
"No! No more!" She turned in his hold. Dan caught a quick glimpse of her face, her features twisted with fear, all sanity gone from her eyes. Though he knew she wasn't really seeing him, that her fear was directed at terrors he could only imagine, having that look directed at him struck with all the force of a blow to the stomach.
"No more!" Her nails caught him across the side of his face. He jerked his head back but didn't loosen his grip.
She fought like one possessed, her terror giving her more strength than he would have thought possible. He was hampered by the fact that he was trying not to hurt her, trying to keep her from hurting herself. But it was still a vastly unequal struggle.
In a matter of moments he had her stilled One arm wrapped around her holding her arms down to her sides, the other hand pressed her face into his shoulder. Gently crowded backward until she was trapped between his hard frame and the wall, Kelly gave one last convulsive jerk before stilling her body.
"I'm not going to hurt you. No one's ever going to hurt you again." He murmured the words over and over again, his hands gentle on her, offering more comfort than restraint.
Whether the words finally got through or she had simply exhausted her thin store of strength, Dan didn't know. Whichever it was, she suddenly went lax against him.
"It's okay. I'll never let anyone hurt you again." He stroked her hair, using both touch and voice to reassure her. She shuddered convulsively and Dan tensed, wondering if the struggle was about to begin all over again. But the only struggle going on was an internal one.
The sob that burst from her seemed to have worked its way up from the very depth of her soul. Dan's arms tightened around her as the storm of emotion finally broke loose. Holding her, feeling the force of her sobbing, he wondered how long she'd been holding this inside. Months? Years?
He was helpless to do anything more than hold her, offering her what comfort he could. He stroked her hair, cradling her in his arms and whispering wordless sounds of comfort.
The very force of the outburst dictated that it be brief. The
wild weeping subsided into quieter sobs and then at last stilled, except for an occasional shaky breath.
Kelly lay against Dan, her eyes closed. She hadn't cried like that even when her mother died. She felt limp and drained, tired deep in her soul. Beneath her cheek she could hear the steady beat of Dan's heart. There was something reassuring in the sound, something solid in the feel of him.
He had said he would never hurt her, that he'd never let anyone else hurt her. The words, only half heard during her wild weeping, came back to her now. They lay over her soul like a soothing balm. He'd meant it. And she had known it without him having to say the words. It was just that when Dan had come toward her, she'd seen her father's face distorted with a terrible rage, his fist raised.
It was the first time he'd struck her with his bare hand. She'd thought nothing could be more terrible than the beatings, nothing could be more frightening than the sound of his belt striking her skin. But this had been worse. Always before, she'd almost believed that he thought he was doing what was best for her immortal soul, that there was an element of caring—however twisted—behind his actions.
This time she'd had none of that feeling. He'd been driven by rage, pure and simple. What a fool she'd been to think that she could keep her pregnancy from him, even for a few days. In the tiny trailer, there was no way to hide the fact that she was ill in the mornings.
He hadn't known about Dan before. He'd thought that her New Year's Eve excursion hadn't gone beyond a drink and a little dancing. He'd beaten her for that and then made her pray for forgiveness until her knees ached.
But she hadn't been able to hide the morning sickness, and it hadn't taken her father long to put two and two together. He'd confronted her this morning and read the answer to his question in her eyes.
Kelly shivered, remembering his rage, the way he'd come at her as if crazed. She'd thought he would surely kill her, so terrible had been his anger.
"It's all right. You're safe now. I'll take care of you," Dan
murmured in her ear. The nightmare images receded a bit. She was safe now. Dan wouldn't let anyone hurt her. He'd promised. He'd promised to take care of her.
His arms were gentle but strong about her. If she just kept her eyes closed and imagined that this was another time and place, she could feel protected. Loved But she had to remember that his concern wasn't for her. It was for the child she carried. If she let herself forget that, only disaster would follow.
But would it be so terrible just to pretend for a little while? She was so tired, so terribly tired. Would it really be wrong to just rest here and let him take care of her?
In the end, she didn't have to answer the question. Her exhausted body answered it for her. Dan felt the tension slowly draining out of her. Easing back until he could see her face, he realized that she'd fallen asleep, literally on her feet.
He lifted her and carried her to the bed she'd left so explosively a few minutes before. It was a struggle to get her out of the coat, which was too tight across the shoulders. It was a measure of Kelly's exhaustion that she showed no signs of waking during his maneuvering.
He had the urge to simply cut it from her, but for all he knew there might be some sentimental value in the garment. Though he couldn't really imagine being sentimental about a coat that must have been plug ugly when it was new and had only gotten worse with age.
Once he'd finally managed to peel it off, he tossed the coat in the direction of a chair. In contrast to the coat, the dull gray dress was too big. It hung on Kelly's thin frame like a sack. Kelly didn't stir as he lifted her to slip the dress over her head. It joined the coat.
The light fell with merciless clarity across the bed. Kelly lay there clad in only worn cotton panties and a bra that was so small her breasts threatened to spill out of the cups. She looked young and fragile and too thin.
Dan felt new anger spill through him. Her upper arms were bruised, obviously from someone grabbing her painfully hard—to shake her? There was an angry purple bruise on her ribs—had the bastard kicked her? Easing her onto her side, he
swallowed hard against the bile that rose in his throat when he saw her back. The faded yellow of old bruises underlay the darker tint of more recent blows, making it clear that this wasn't the first time she'd been beaten.
He knelt by the bed, letting his hands fall against his thighs, his head lowered as he struggled to control the fury that swept over him. What kind of a man could do this to a woman?
She'd seemed nervous when he'd asked about her family and she had hurried away from their last meeting, saying she had to get home before her father found out she was gone. Had her father done this to her? And why?
He wasn't naive. He was well aware of the terrible things parents could do to their children. Even
so, he found it impossible to imagine a father inflicting such a brutal beating on his daughter. His pregnant daughter. Had he known she was pregnant? Was that why he'd done this to her?
Dan rubbed one hand over his face, trying to wipe away the thought that he might be even partially responsible for this. There was nothing he could do about it now except try to make Kelly comfortable. He hoped he had done the right thing in bringing her here instead of taking her to a hospital.
She stirred when he put an ice pack against her swollen eye, her forehead pleating in discomfort, but she didn't wake. He kept the ice against the eye, hoping the chill would help take some of the swelling down. It was obvious from the state of her injuries that several hours had elapsed between the beating and her call to him. Had she been unconscious? Could she have a concussion?
Where the hell was Ben? Dan sat back on his heels, frowning down at Kelly's sleeping figure. Should he gather her up right now and take her to the hospital? She'd been so adamant about not wanting to go there. But she couldn't argue with him while she was unconscious.
His frown deepened. He had the feeling that very little attention had ever been paid to what Kelly wanted in her life. It would be almost like betraying a trust to sneak her to the hospital now. Where was Ben?
He did his best to clean up Kelly's injuries, but most of them
were just going to need time to heal. The bruises would fade, the small cuts wouldn't even leave scars. Physically she was going to be all right. Heaven only knew what kind of emotional scars she must carry.
Dan left her sleeping and went into the kitchen. He poured water into a pot, set it on the stove to boil and then stood staring at it like a zombie, trying to keep his mind blank.
Seeing Kelly, seeing the bruises that marked her skin, brought back too many images from his past. Two years in a Central American prison had left him with more than a few scars of his own. Scars he could generally ignore. Tonight, however, they had all come rushing back.
The smell of the prison—unwashed bodies, fear, despair. The prisoners who were there at dusk and gone by morning and no one had dared to question what might have happened to them, lest they disappear the next night. He'd been luckier than some.
The sound of the water hissing against the sides of the pan brought him out of the past. He shook his head, dumping a healthy amount of instant coffee in a cup before pouring the boiling water over it. He carried the steaming cup to the table that sat in the alcove that was called, somewhat optimistically, the dining room.
He collapsed into a chair, putting his elbows on the table and resting his head on his hands. He felt almost numb. The past couple of days had spun his life into a new pattern and he had the feeling that he was only seeing one edge of it
First, he'd found out he was going to be a father. No—first was that talk with Brittany. The realization that they'd somehow made the change from former lovers to friends, finding out that she was pregnant—that had been the beginning.
Then Kelly had shown up with the news that she was carrying his child. And suddenly he'd had something to build a ftiture for. For two days he'd built plans around the child she carried, dreamed dreams for his son or daughter. He thought he'd forgotten how to dream but he hadn't The skills might be a little rusty but they were still there.
And now here was Kelly, lying in his bed, hurt and scared.
He felt responsible. She had told him nothing. Not who had beaten her or why. But it wasn't hard to guess that it had been her father. And if she had been beaten because of her pregnancy, then the responsibility was his.
Dan rubbed his hand over his face before picking up his coffee. The steaming liquid couldn't burn away the feeling of guilt. Through his own carelessness, Kelly's life had been thrown into turmoil. He'd had no business bringing her back here that night, no business getting so drunk that he hadn't been able to recognize her inexperience, her youth.
He'd seen her fear two days ago when she mentioned her father. He should have insisted on taking her home, should have seen for himself that she was all right. The fact that he'd been stunned by the news she'd given him was no excuse. If he had taken her home, met her father, maybe he'd have seen the man for what he was and he could have insisted on Kelly leaving with him.
Then again, maybe the man would have seemed perfectly civilized. Only a fool thought that abusive parents looked like what they were. Still, there must have been something he could have done to prevent this from happening.
He rubbed at the pain beginning to throb in his temples. He almost welcomed the headache. It seemed the least he deserved. He lifted his coffee cup and took another swallow, almost choking when a low cry came from the bedroom. Steaming coffee splashed onto his hand as he set the cup down too hard, already half out of the chair.
When he reached the bedroom, Kelly was tossing restlessly, frowning and whimpering. Dan felt his pulse slow to something approaching normal. She was having a nightmare. When he'd heard her cry out, he had thought it was a cry of pain. She muttered something indistinguishable, throwing one hand out as if warding off a blow.
He eased down onto the edge of the bed as Kelly twisted more frantically. He could imagine the terrible images that haunted her sleep. He'd had more than his share of nightmares since he'd gotten out of prison.
"It's all right, Kelly. You're safe." He pitched his voice
low, hoping to penetrate her terror. He'd covered her when he left the room earlier but her tossing and turning had thrown most of the blankets off. Dragging the sheet loose from the foot of the bed, he lifted Kelly and wrapped her in it, lifting her so that she lay across his lap.
"No one's ever going to hurt you again. I swear it." He leaned back against the headboard, his arms holding her close against his chest, murmuring quiet reassurances to her. She whimpered once, stirring in his hold and then quieted. Her head rested on his shoulder, her body relaxing against his as the nightmare faded, chased away by the strength of his arms.
Dan continued to hold her long after she was sleeping peacefully again. It occurred to him that not only was he holding Kelly, he was holding his child—their child. It was a pleasant thought. His eyes drifted shut. He'd just he here until he was sure Kelly's nightmare wasn't going to return.
Outside, a full moon shone down as frost gathered on the winter-deadened lawns, proving that winter still had a bite. Inside the dim bedroom, Kelly slept, held safe in Dan's arms. Her head rested on his shoulder. One hand lay outside the sheet, resting on her still-flat stomach. Dan's palm spread over it as if protecting both her and the tiny life she carried.
Chapter 6
Uan woke suddenly, startled by some sound he couldn't quite remember. Kelly was still wrapped in his arms, sound asleep, her head nestled in the hollow of his shoulder. The sound that had pulled him awake was repeated. Someone was knocking rather violently on the door.
He sat up, groaning at the ache in his neck. Easing Kelly down onto the pillows, he swung his legs off the bed, rubbing his neck as he stood. Who on earth would be pounding on his door at four in the morning?
Pulling the bedroom door half-shut behind him, he hurried to the front door, yanking it open just as the man on the other side was lifting his hand to knock again.
"Ben." Dan sagged against the doorjamb.
"What's the emergency?" Ben's eyes went over Dan in a quick professional survey. He had a medical bag in one hand. "You look like hell but you don't look like a reason for me to have driven straight here from Indianapolis. The answering service told me it was urgent."
"It is. It was." Dan wiped a hand over his face, trying to erase the grogginess from his thoughts. "Come in."
"Thanks/' Ben stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. He followed Dan into the kitchen. Dan turned the heat on under the pan of water that was still sitting on the stove. Coffee. That was what he needed to get his mind going. Lots of caffeine.
"What's the problem?" Ben asked as Dan turned to lean against the counter. "Did you
sleep in those clothes? What happened to your face? You look like you've been in a fight with that ugly cat of yours."
"Yes. That's part of the emergency. And, no, I haven't." Dan reached up to touch his cheek. He'd forgotten about the scratches Kelly had inflicted during that brief struggle. Come to think of it, his nose ached, too. "You want some coffee?"
"I want an explanation but coffee will do for a start. I've just spent three days at the world's most tedious convention. All I really want is to go to sleep without having to listen to some bore drone on about some obscure medical concept of which he knows nothing. Instead, I drove straight here from the airport, thinking that you would probably have bled to death from some wound you were too damn dumb to go to the hospital for."
"Sorry about that." Dan handed Ben a mug of steaming coffee.
"Oh, I'll survive," Ben admitted grudgingly as the scent of the coffee reached him. "What's going on?"
"Well, it's a long story." Dan gestured for Ben to have a seat and then took the chair across the table from him.
He told Ben the whole story, starting with meeting Kelly on New Year's Eve. He didn't spare himself in the telling, taking full blame for everything that had happened, admitting that he'd been drunk, that he hadn't even recognized her when she'd shown up two days ago. He told Ben about wanting the baby, about the bargain he'd struck with Kelly. And then the call late the previous afternoon.
"I know I should have taken her to the emergency room but she was nearly hysterical. She'd obviously hit the end of her rope. So I brought her back here."
"How did you end up with the scratches on your face?" Ben asked, his expression stern.
4 'She didn't want me to take a look at her injuries. God, don't look at me like you think I've been pounding on her," Dan protested, seeing doubt in Ben's eyes. "I've never hit a woman in my life and I sure as hell wouldn't start with one who was pregnant with my child."
"Okay, I believe you. Sorry if I looked doubtful. I get suspicious at four-thirty in the morning."
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