“I’d rather you didn’t turn my false confession to the sheriff into a reality if it was nothing more than a quick roll in the grass.”
He pulled her away from Jack, into his arms. He held her fast, even while she struggled to get away. “It meant a lot more than that.” He lifted her chin to make her look at him, ignoring the fiery arrows that seemed to be shooting from her gaze. “You mean much more. You mean everythin’ to me.”
“No, the ranch means everything to you.” She jerked her head away and pushed herself out of his grip. “To both of you. I can see that right clear now. I just wished I’d have seen it about thirty minutes ago.” Her eyes shifted back and forth between them, and she shook her head. “I can’t believe I just gave myself over to such a vile, twisted perversion. And for nothing.”
She sat on the grass by her boots and stockings, heaving a disgusted sigh when she apparently realized the split skirt would have to come off to put on the latter. At the livid glare she sent the men’s way, Jack turned around to allow privacy while she finished dressing. William refused, folding his arms. He stared at the tree over her head while he talked.
“The ranch means a great deal, yes. And part of that is because of what Jack just said. Tyler Ranch holds the key to a future I can offer the woman I want to be my wife.” He dropped his gaze to where she struggled to pull on wet woolen stockings. “That woman is you, Kate. Please don’t be angry that I’m not askin’ your father for your hand now. I can’t even promise when I’d be able to. If I fail with the ranch—”
“Then you’d succeed in some other venture,” she finished. “But if you two think I’m just a shallow flimsy worried about who can buy me the finest calico, then neither of you is the right man for me.”
“I don’t think you’re shallow,” William said. “I worry I’m not man enough to provide what you deserve.” There, he’d said it. And the truth in his words lay like lead in his gut.
Jack came up behind him and laid a warm hand on his shoulder. William turned around to find the man’s stare measuring him with an intensity that clenched his stomach. “Ain’t no man finer, Will.”
When Kate’s reply followed, it was from right behind him. “What I deserve is a man who will be honest and true, and who will trust me to stick beside him whatever may come.” He refused to turn around, holding Jack’s eyes instead. She kept going. “If a man can offer me that, I’ll be the richest woman in the West.”
“I need time to work this out,” William said. “I need to see things through with the ranch, one way or the other.” Now he pivoted around to her. “If after that you will still have me, I’ll be the proudest man in the West. If you can’t wait, I’d understand.”
Like hell he would, and saying otherwise tasted like trail grit in his mouth. Even the thought of her walking down the aisle to Jack tasted bitter, though he didn’t mind the thought of all of them sharing a bed for many times to come. Kate didn’t get why a man’s pride meant something in terms of marriage, and he couldn’t find the words to explain. A man’s duty was to ensure his family was kept safe and well, and at present he could guarantee neither. He had no right to try and start a family of his own until he could. Not until he was certain that what happened to his uncle would not happen to his wife and children.
“I told you before,” she said, “I wasn’t trying to press you into a relationship by telling the sheriff we’d been together. That’s still the case. Truth is I wouldn’t accept your proposal even if you had the ring in your pocket right now.” Her expression was unreadable.
“You wouldn’t?”
She shook her head and reached behind her to begin re-braiding her long hair. “I came back to Tanner’s Grove because my pa needs me. Part of me thinks maybe if I hadn’t run off, he wouldn’t have taken ill in the first place. So I’m not about to race off to a preacher and leave him to fend for himself. Not now.” She pulled the braid in front of her shoulder and tied it off. “So don’t be sitting here thinking I used my body to try and trap you into marriage.”
He narrowed his gaze. “First you’re mad at me for sayin’ I couldn’t ask for your hand, now you’re sayin’ you would have turned me down anyway?” He glanced at Jack, who shrugged. William shook his head. “I’m not sure I’ll ever understand the way you think, Kate.”
She shrugged on her cropped riding jacket. “On the contrary. It seems we’re thinking exactly alike. You don’t want to marry me, and I don’t want to marry you.”
William knew he deserved the barb, but that didn’t stop it from stinging rather fierce when she jabbed that hook in his flesh.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “What I want is not near the same thing as what I can reasonably hope.”
Kate turned her back on him and walked away. “It’s getting late. Best you get dressed so we can all start moving the horses to the ranch.”
Chapter Seven
The morning sun beat down on Kate’s brow while she brought up the bucket from the well, and she wondered why she hadn’t had the sense to wear a bonnet. Not that she seemed to possess much sense of late.
She balanced the pail on the edge of the well for a moment, then set it down on the dirt beside her and wiped her hands on her skirt apron. Most of her early chores were done now, but it hadn’t been easy to drag out from under her quilt at first light. She hadn’t returned until late into the night, and despite her exhaustion, she tossed and turned almost until a pale wash of blue-gray painted itself over the black sky. Today she was bone weary and ached in places she had never ached before, only in part from her wild mustang ride. Her thighs and hands pained her from hanging onto the mare for dear life, and her back hurt from hunching over the animal as well. The remaining unfamiliar aches and tenderness was the result of the other ill-advised ride she’d taken.
What a fool she’d been to get caught up believing the act William had put on for the Hupa. She’d been plumb bare-skinned when the Indians had ridden up behind her, silent as a caterpillar on a blade of grass. They’d frightened her but good, especially the way their eyes devoured her creamy, pale flesh. While she found the Hupa an honorable people, these were still men, and men she did not recognize. Who knew what they might have done with her in such a vulnerable position had William not come and essentially done for her what she’d done for him with the sheriff. His pretense had spared her, and the sight of him stepping in front of her and pulling her into his body was one she would never forget. And what a surprise it had been to find him not only so protective, but as bare-chested as the natives he confronted. Aside from Indians, she’d not seen many men without their shirts on, and her mouth had gone dry at the image of his broad, defined shoulders and the expanse of rippling muscle along his chest, abdomen, and back. She’d all too gladly pressed herself against his warm, hard flesh to shield herself from the Hupa’s dark stares, but doing so ignited something other than fear inside her. Every inch of her skin had bristled with goose flesh, and her stomach had churned with confusion and need. Then Jack had come up behind her, sandwiching her between their powerful bodies, and that need had multiplied until she couldn’t see straight.
A stiff breeze ruffled her skirts, and she turned her face to the wind for a moment to enjoy the cooling effect. After the Indians had gone, she’d tried to remind herself William’s claim to them had been a mere repayment for her own deeds on his behalf. Then he’d gone and kissed her. The taste of his lips shut out all her good sense, and before she realized what she’d done, she had allowed both his and Jack’s hands and mouths to roam places no man had touched before—indeed, even a couple she had never touched herself. It was unthinkable to her that she’d actually let two men have her at the same time—and enjoy each other while they were at it. Yet she’d been downright brazen and indecent about feeling every unholy sensation. Each spot on her body that the men touched unleashed more of the wild sense of freedom she’d seen among animals running loose on the plains.
Despite the unthinkable shame of her behavior, when
William had taken her innocence, tears had brimmed over—not because of the brief stab of pain, but because she’d never dreamed how connected she could feel to a lover. Having a man’s body filling hers made her spirit feel complete. She realized her spirit would never feel complete again unless she was joined to the man she loved. When he took Jack while Jack took her until she screamed in intense bliss, she felt more connected to them than she believed possible. Even the unspeakable act of two men clutched together hadn’t been enough to sober her up from what she was doing. If anything, it only magnified her desire.
Then, while warm fluids were still escaping her body, William had gone and told her they couldn’t be together. That he didn’t want her in the same way she wanted him. His want was of the temporary male sort, where most any man wanted the warmth of a woman for a spell before forgetting her and going back to their own business. And it was all her own fault. What had she expected? He hadn’t even been courting her. She deserved to have him treat her that way, especially since she’d flaunted herself in front of the sheriff and his band of lawmen. Now she’d brought her own lie to pass, throwing herself shamelessly at two men without a thought to the future or her reputation. The thought twisted her stomach.
She gritted her teeth against the hot sting rising in her eyes and carried the pail to the barn, fighting a stab of irritation at having to hold her skirts up to keep them from winding around her legs. She’d spent so much time lately in her riding skirt or jeans that the impracticality of farm work while wearing a long sheet of fabric cut another notch in her already foul mood.
For a moment, her thoughts flicked to the new mare and stallion, and she wondered how they were settling. As hoss doc she should check them over, make sure they were in good shape and hadn’t suffered any ill effects from the river taming. Yet right now there were few places on earth she wanted to be less than that ranch. William and Jack had tamed and managed animals long before Kate came along, and they could do so again. She planned to see as little of Tyler Ranch as possible for a while. Maybe forever.
She dumped water in the animal trough and turned back to the well, swallowing down disgust at her own stupidity. Thank heavens Pa didn’t know what she’d told the sheriff about her and William. Bad enough he should hear a rumor she knew wasn’t true. What would she do if he found out now that she knew she was guilty of more than sleeping with one man?
“Kate.”
She stiffened at the sound of her father’s voice and turned to see him striding out of the house, dressed in riding clothes and his better hat.
“I’m headin’ to town fer supplies,” he said. “Thought you might wanna ride along. I could use the company.”
She returned the pail and brushed off her skirt. “Sure you’re up for that, Pa?”
“Don’t go coddlin’ me. I’m fine as rain. You comin’ or not?”
Kate stifled a groan. As tired and sore as she was, particularly around the lower half, the last thing she wanted was a wagon ride. She was in no mood for sociable chatter with the townsfolk, either. But better she should accompany him to town than let him go alone.
She offered him a forced smile. “Just let me get my bonnet.”
Another gust of wind blew up the corner of her father’s hat, and he adjusted the chin ties. “Wind’s really kickin,” he said. “Ought’n you bring in the wash afore we leave?”
She nodded and thought of the wet clothes she’d hung on the line after her dunk in the river. No sense leaving them to blow clear to the next county. “Won’t take but a minute.”
“When did you find time to wash clothes?” he said. “They were already hung out this morning while you were still asleep.”
“I washed the things I wore to that hoss call last night. Things get dirty when I tend animals, you know.”
“How’d you manage that? It was pitch dark, and you came in near straight away after riding up.”
She tried to offer a casual shrug as he followed her to the rope strung up to dry their clothing. “Just gave ’em a quick rinse.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie.
He watched with eyes squinting into the sun while she grabbed off the wooden clothespins and hurried her dried garments into the house. “Those aren’t the clothes you were wearin’ when you left.”
Panic stabbed at her stomach. “What? Of course they are, Pa.”
“I’d have remembered if you tried to go out ridin’ in those canvas drawers. You know I don’t like my daughter cavortin’ in front of other folk in men’s pants.”
“I changed in the barn at the last minute,” she said, irritated her father wouldn’t let this go. The man may be ill and weak at times, but his mind was still sharp enough to split hairs. “My riding skirt popped a button.”
“Good thing you thought to have a change of clothes on hand right in our barn,” he said.
She hurried to deposit her clothes in her modest room and fetch her bonnet and gloves from the bureau. By his tone, she knew he wasn’t buying her story, not fully, anyway. But there was no way he could know the real reason. Hopefully, she could initiate a quick change of subject once they boarded the wagon, or it would be a rather lengthy trip to town.
As it turned out, her pa had lost all interest in the issue of her laundry by the time she joined him in helping harness the wagon. The wind whistled loud enough to pierce through her wide-brimmed yellow bonnet, but the journey into Tanner’s Grove was pleasant enough. Trees waved as they passed by, horse hooves clopping along to stir up patches of soft dirt.
Wood plank store fronts rose into view just beyond the patch of trees that sparked a memory of the very first time Kate had seen William Tyler. She shoved the thought aside, but the ache gnawing her belly lingered. The town was bustling today, wagons and horses and women with buggies and children in tow hurrying to and fro on various errands. The town seemed to be growing before her eyes, and many of the faces they passed were unfamiliar.
They rode past the livery, seamstress, barber shop, and Mack’s saloon and hotel before stopping off at Tanner Mercantile.
“Offer yeh a penny candy, Kate?” Her father’s gray eyes held a teasing glint as they walked inside the shop crowded with goods.
“Oh, Pa. I’m not eight anymore.”
“Never too old fer good suckin’ candy.”
Pa wasted no time in purchasing flour, company sugar even though they never had company, rolling tobacco, and a few other essentials for the house that he loaded into the wagon. Kate was fingering a beautiful bolt full of lavender calico when Elspeth bustled in.
“Kate!” she said, and they clasped hands together in greeting. “Haven’t seen you since the barn dance.”
“You’re looking fine, Elspeth.”
The girl’s cheeks were rosy and her smile almost too bright beneath a fine hat adorned with silk flowers and ribbons. Her dress was fine rose-colored linen and cut in a fancy tailored style from Europe Kate had seen women wearing this season. The rear bustle was impressive, and Kate tried not to grin at it. She’d never been fond of the trend, which made women’s backsides rival the size of a prize winning steer. Not that she could afford such couture even if she had a mind to wear it. Her own pale blue cotton blouse and matching calico skirt was fine enough for her. Besides, she could barely tolerate skirts while doing her outdoor chores. What possible use could she have for a bustle?
“I’m picking up material for three new dresses today,” Elspeth said with a gushing tone that held a note of boast, though Kate knew the girl meant nothing by it. “The fabric had to be ordered in by boat all the way from London. I can’t wait!”
Kate smiled at the girl. “Sounds wonderful. We’re just here for the usual goods.”
The smile faded a bit, and Elspeth cocked her head to give Kate a careful study. “You know, you look different.”
Kate’s hand went to her face. Other than cheeks warmed by embarrassment and a few wind-blown strands poking from under her bonnet, nothing seemed out of place. Good Lord, could people read i
t on a woman’s face if she’d experienced a man’s intimate embrace? Her eyes widened at the thought.
“Different how?”
Elspeth narrowed her light blue eyes to scrutinize harder, then shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe older, somehow.”
She swallowed and tried for a light tone. “I’m an old spinster now, am I?”
“Of course I didn’t mean it that way, silly.” She glanced around the mercantile and lowered her voice. “Did you hear the news?”
A pulse beat of panic fluttered in her throat. “What news?”
“Rumor has it that Sam Tulare is about to ask for my hand.”
Kate felt her stomach twist at the mention of marriage. “Well, that is big news. Is it certain?”
Curls bobbed as she nodded. “Almost guaranteed. That’s part of why we’re in a hurry for the dress material. Ma says I need more for my trousseau. Oh, Kate, I’m so excited! Sam’s got the biggest ranch in the county. Did you know he’s hired on so many extra hands now that they can guard the whole ranch day and night against raids?”
Kate shook her head. “Don’t blame him, since he lost some of his herd to rustlers already.” She cocked her head at the girl. “I didn’t know Sam was courting you.”
She flashed a guilty look. “He hasn’t been, really. I don’t know him much. But he talked to my pa about how he’s wanting to settle with a wife, someone from a good family. My folks being upstanding and all, Pa figures it’ll be a natural match.”
“What about Tommy Lowe? I thought you got on well with him.”
Delicate blonde eyebrows rose. “Who, Tommy? Oh, he was fun for a while. But I can’t be expected to let a man with such limited prospects for the future call on me.”
A spark of irritation ignited in her chest. “I’d expect you to marry a man you know enough to love, whether or not he could have the finest material shipped from London every other week.”
Elspeth laughed. “Oh, Kate, you’re so down to earth and naive. You know, if you listened to me a bit more, you could pull yourself up out of this hard life of yours. You’re pretty enough to land a man of means, if you’d stop acting like a man.”
To Tame a Wild Mustang Page 11
