Though he lives in New York, he seems to spend more time in Denver than he does at home. He agrees to meet me, so I quickly change into sweatpants, a tank top, and tennis shoes. I check my reflection in the bathroom mirror and run my hands through my short, sandy blond hair, and then grab my keys and go.
I’m running at a decent pace with my good friend Jay-Z pumping through my headphones as the cold air hits the back of my neck. My heart belts in my chest and there’s sweat dripping down my back, which is the only way to know that you’re getting a good workout.
We’re nearing the six-mile finish mark, and I look back. Danny has all of sudden disappeared. Running back in the direction I came from, I see him bent over in the garden, looking as if he’s about to hurl.
“What the hell’s that speed? You could have warned me you wanted to train for the fucking Olympics, dickhead,” he wheezes, standing up to punch me.
Catching my breath, I chuckle and look down at my watch. Holy shit. That’s the fastest time I’ve ever clocked. Only a portion of the pent up anger I was harboring dissipated with the run.
At least that was an hour that I didn’t think of her.
“What’s going on with you?” Danny eyes me.
“Work and family issues, Dan, you know how it is,” I respond, hoping he won’t ask any further questions. It is the truth, but Danny always has questions.
“Like what? That high school chick you’re banging?” He laughs. “She won’t do her homework or something, huh?”
I glower at him, which only makes him laugh harder. I’m regretting telling him anything.
“Dude, I’m just messing with you. I’m always here if you wanna . . . you know . . .” He shrugs awkwardly. “Talk and shit.”
I laugh and start jogging again. That’s deep for him. He might as well have said his shoulder is there to cry on if I need it. He falls into line and we continue the rest of the way, not talking. He doesn’t know it, but just by being out of the house and away from her—it’s helping. Out here, I feel like I can think. I’m not drowning in her, struggling to breathe.
I’m still no closer to figuring this out, but at least I’ve managed to burn some of this energy.
Chapter Two
Jill
I reach for my phone on the off chance that I missed an alert to a new message. I haven’t. Sighing, I toss it on the floor and resume lying down on the bed with my laptop. I’m going through my emails from when we first started getting to know each other.
I’ve really fucked this up, and I have no idea whether I can fix it. I thought we had finally moved past the fact that I had lied, but that is the only thing that gives even a tiny bit of reasoning to his behavior.
To end things seconds after his cock was inside me? He’s supposed to be the mature one.
I hadn’t meant to hurt him. When he contacted me after I’d set up the profile, I couldn’t not reply. He was funny, nice, and cute. I didn’t expect things to go as far as they did, but one thing led to another and soon we were emailing each other every day.
It was so easy to forget that I’d lied to him about my age. We had so much other shit in common, and right from the start there was something there. Whether that was the beginnings of a friendship or something else, I didn’t know, but I didn’t want to ruin whatever it was. I couldn’t see the harm in a few tiny lies. The thing is, lies never stay hidden, and once you’ve started, it’s impossible to backtrack from it.
I’ve learned that the hard way.
My phone rings and I lunge for it, sure that it’s him and he’s calling to fix this mess. My heart drops when I see Alice’s name on the screen.
“Well it’s great to hear your voice, too,” she says, her tone sarcastic.
“I’m sorry. I was hoping you were him.”
“You guys are still fighting?” She sounds surprised.
“I lied to him, Alice.”
“So?” she snorts. “Chicks lie about their age all the fucking time. He’ll get over it, and if he doesn’t then he’s a waste of time anyway.”
“It’s a little more serious than that.” I laugh in spite of my foul mood. “It’s not like I said I was a year older, or something. We have an eight-year age gap. He could lose his job because of me. It’s illegal, in some states.”
“Right, but not there,” she argues. “Besides, he’s a fucking substitute. In a few weeks he won’t even be your teacher, and he’ll realize what a dick he’s been and be begging you to take him back.”
I laugh, because with Alice that’s all you can do. I love her to bits.
My only real friend, we met a few schools ago and somehow our friendship stuck. I’m so glad, because if I didn’t have anyone to talk this through with, I’m sure I’d go insane.
“So when do I get to see you next?” I ask. It’s been ages since I’ve seen her. I can’t wait until next year when we’re in college and we can see each other all the time. Of course, she’ll probably be dragging me to party after party—especially after spending two years cooped up in an all-girl boarding school. Alice in college is going to be freaking hilarious.
“I’m working on it. Hopefully I can get a weekend pass and come down. And if I need to, I’ll kick some sense into that guy of yours.”
“You’re such a good friend,” I chuckle.
“Don’t you forget it,” she replies. “But seriously, Jilly. Anytime you need to talk, just call me, ’kay?”
“’Kay.” I smile, feeling better already. “Love you.”
**
It’s Wednesday morning and I’m standing outside the classroom, waiting until the other students are walking in before I enter. After yesterday, I can’t handle another confrontation with him. He tenses as I walk in, as if he senses my presence, but doesn’t look my way. I ignore him and walk to my desk in the back row, my jacket wrapped tightly around me as I slump into my seat.
As much as I really don’t want to be here, I think I’d feel worse lying around at home. Besides, there’s a small part of me that enjoys the thought of him being uncomfortable that I’m in his class. Maybe I need to play on that a little more. I smile at the thought.
As I sit there and stare at a poster on the front wall of the room, I spy Jamie and his group of minions entering the classroom. His eyes lock with mine, and my body tenses. I cross my arms over my chest.
Since the day I arrived at this school two months ago, he has had it in for me. I have no idea why, and I’m past caring. I’m at the point where if this is giving him some weird sort of pleasure, then whatever. He can do his worst.
I stiffen as he and his friends reach my desk, ready for whatever he has for me today. Jamie falls into the seat next to me, his long, ratty blond hair falling over his eyes as his friends hover around us like a pack of fucking wolves. He leans in, his expression dark, his evil eyes taunting me.
“What would you do if you happened to know someone is screwing someone they shouldn’t be?” he asks suddenly.
What? Holy shit. Fuck.
I’m doing my best to keep my face expressionless, but I’m sure the shock cursing through me is evident. Does he know something? Why would he wait until now to throw this on me?
This isn’t good.
“Fuck off, Jamie,” I say, gritting my teeth.
Jamie laughs and walks off, his minions following behind. I’m angry with myself for reacting exactly how he wanted me to react. But more than that, I’m terrified that he knows. I focus on my work, refusing to look at Jamie—or Eli—for the rest of the class, praying that’s the end of it.
But I know it’s not.
Shit. I need to tell Eli.
The bell rings, ending what felt like the longest hour ever. Finally. I sit there playing with my bag as everyone starts leaving. I grab my phone out of my bag to text Eli, tucking it out of view as Jamie passes by my desk. He grins as his eyes narrow in on mine. My stomach twists into knots.
He’s playing with me.
“Scared, little Jill? Because I
would be.” He winks. “You think your life was hell before? Just wait.”
My heart pounds as he walks off, hitting desks along his way. He laughs to himself as he strolls out of the room.
I’m officially in panic mode. I grab my phone and text Eli, praying that he won’t ignore me this time, because I’m a fucking mess and I’m on the verge of breaking down.
Me: We need to talk. I think we’ve been caught
Eli: What? Impossible. I’ll come over to yours tonight.
Me: No! That’s the problem. Jamie is my neighbor. I think he might’ve seen you leaving my place.
Eli: Come to my office now.
Shit.
Chapter Three
Eli
I jump as I hear the knock on my door.
“Come in,” I mutter, holding the door open as she squeezes past me. I inhale sharply as her body presses against mine. I lock the door, the clicking sound of the latch making my heart jump. I haven’t been this close to her, alone, in so long.
She glances around my office. I watch her closely, as if I’m trying to memorize every little thing about her. While she’s distracted by the collection of books on my bookshelf, I move toward my desk, slumping into my seat. She turns around and her eyes meet mine. There is so much I want to say to her, but everything is inappropriate given our circumstances.
“Who knows?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
“Jamie. I think,” she mumbles, brushing away a loose strand of hair from her eyes. “He lives next-door to me and made some comment about forbidden relationships.” She stares down at her hands, which are clasped tightly in front of her.
I breathe out. This is bad. I’m angry at myself for putting her in this situation and I’m pissed at her for not understanding how fucked up this whole thing is.
“What exactly did he say?” I press.
“What would you do if you happened to know someone is screwing someone they shouldn’t be?” she laments, her voice flat.
“Fuck,” I growl, my eyes narrowing. “How could you not tell me a student lives next door to you? For god’s sake, Jill, are you dense?”
“Hey,” she retorts. “Excuse me for not knowing you were coming over to fuck me.” The words fly out with venom as she glares at me.
I feel my face heat, because she’s right: I’m the adult. She’s a fucking child. This is a hundred percent my fault, not hers.
I stand up, the sudden need to comfort her overwhelming. She looks up, watching me as I move toward her. My gaze lock on hers and I’m lost in the deep emerald green hue of her eyes. Then I’m touching her. It’s like I have no control over my body. My conscience vanishes, and for a brief moment it’s like it was before—just her and me.
She sighs as my fingers caress the side of her face, her eyes closing as she melts into my touch.
“God, Jill, I can’t get you out of my head. You are everywhere I look. I miss your smart mouth, our daily conversations. I miss your sweet taste.” My voice is hoarse, almost unrecognizable.
She blushes, her eyes casting downwards at the mention of her taste. I smirk, wondering where her mind went just then. Is she thinking the same dirty thoughts I am?
I pull her toward me, our lips connecting in a soft, lingering kiss. The feel of her mouth against mine is electric. I kiss her again, tasting her as our mouths press against each other.
A knock sounds at the door, interrupting the moment. Her eyes widen as she stares at me as if frozen with fear. I point to the chair and tell her to sit while I straighten my shirt and jacket. I move toward the door, running my hand through my hair as I try to relax. Nobody knows, I try and tell myself. But that’s a lie. The whole reason she’s in my office right now is because somebody might know. How can I be so fucking stupid?
I open the door and see Dad. Relief washes through me. He’s the one person who, if he did find out, would be in no position to judge me. He looks past me, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Jill.
“Ms. Wilson, what a pleasant surprise to see you here,” he says. “You’re not in trouble again are you?” He narrows his eyes at her.
“No, not at all,” I reply with a stiff laugh. “No, Ms. Wilson came to ask if she could borrow a book, but unfortunately I don’t have it with me.”
“That’s okay, I’ll try the local library.” She smiles and walks out, closing the door behind her.
Dad raises his eyebrows and sits down. “Do you always lock the door when you’re alone with a student?” he asks.
My face heats up and I have to bite back my annoyance. “Just because you can’t be trusted to be alone with your students doesn’t mean the same applies for everyone,” I reply, my voice cold. “I must’ve knocked it when it closed. Now, is there a reason you’re here, or is it just to annoy me?”
He stares at me for a moment but then shakes his head. “I wanted to give you the heads-up. Principal Galleu mentioned he was in need of a Junior History teacher for next semester, so I put forward your name.”
“You what?” I snap.
He looks surprised by my reaction, which I find hilarious considering I always react the same when he tries to meddle in my life.
“Really, Eli? You’re going to let this little feud between us ruin your career? Six months of full-time work, Eli. Then who knows where that will lead you? Surely you’re not stupid enough to let that slip through your fingers. How are those student loans going, anyway?” he asks, cocking his head.
I laugh. He knows damn well how much I’ve struggled with money for the last few years, because I refused to accept a cent from him. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am today without the help of anyone but myself.
“Fine. I’ve told you before I don’t need your help,” I say, gritting my teeth. I grab my briefcase and stand up. “I’m late for an appointment. Please lock the door on your way out.”
“Aren’t you even going to ask me how I am?”
I stop in the doorway and turn around. “I haven’t bothered before. Why start now?”
***
I throw my things on the seat of my truck and slam my hands down on the wheel. I’m pissed, because he’s right: I do need this damn job. I’m drowning in debt. But teaching here for the rest of the year will mean the end of me and Jill. There’s no way I can accept the job and be with her.
I reach into my pocket and take out my phone. Bringing up her name, I type out a message.
Me: Sorry, I didn’t realize dad was around today. He doesn’t suspect anything.
She replies almost right away.
Jill: What are we doing, Eli?
My body tenses, because I have no fucking clue of what to say.
Me: I don’t know. All I know is I really like you
Jill: I really like you too. I miss you.
I press call. I need to hear her voice. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the ringing, going over our last kiss in my head. Am I willing to risk everything for whatever this is?
“I miss you too,” I say when she answers. “Where are you?” I don’t care anymore. I need to see her. I need to feel her in my arms.
“Walking home. I wanted to clear my head,” she replies.
“Let me pick you up and we’ll go downtown and get a coffee,” I suggest.
“Sure,” she sighs. “Why not?”
I see her walking just out of the school grounds. I check my rearview mirror and see the street is deserted. It’s late enough that most of the staff and students have already left for the day, but I’m aware enough to know I still need to be on my guard.
I pull the truck to a stop next to her and open the door, watching her as she peels off her school blazer. She pulls a sweater over her head, easing her long, dark hair through. I watch as it cascades around her shoulders. Her green eyes catch mine and she smiles. Does she like me watching her?
The waitress at the coffee shop takes our orders as we sit side by side in a dark corner. We’re in a trendy lane in down town, so there is little chanc
e of us being spotted, but I’m still nervous. I don’t want to ruin this. She reaches across the table and takes my hand, entwining my fingers in hers. Even the slightest touch drives me insane.
“What do you want, Eli?” she asks.
She holds her breath as if she’s afraid of what my answer will be. My answer is simple: I know what I want, but I also know we don’t always get what we want. People—like my father—who go after what they want without considering how it will affect other people will inevitably wind up losing everything. I’ve seen that firsthand, and I don’t want to be that person.
“You,” I finally reply. Because it’s the truth. Whether I can have her or not, it’s her I want.
“Really? And tomorrow? Or next week? I need you to make up your mind and stick with it. This?” She throws up her hands and looks around. “It’s driving me crazy.”
I sigh. “Look, Jill. I’ve been thinking a lot about us. Not seeing you, not being able to hold you, I can’t handle it.” I pause and take a breath. “My position at school is only temporary.”
It’s true. Six months is still only temporary, and I haven’t even been offered the damn job yet.
“Dad’s already getting better, and as soon as he’s good, he will be back in the classroom to teach you.” I pause. “I like you. As in, I really like you. I want to see where this goes. Can you give me another chance?”
“What do you think?” she says. The smile on her face gives away everything.
“There is a catch,” I add, avoiding her eyes.
She raises her eyebrows and waits for me to continue.
“You’re seventeen. I don’t want to sleep with you until you’re eighteen.”
“That’s less than a month away. Besides, sorry to be the one to tell you, but that ship has already sailed. Or have you forgotten?” she smirks.
Forgotten? There’s no way I could forget how being inside her felt.
“Jill,” I growl as she laughs. “Just go with me on this, okay?”
“Okay,” she agrees, her lips twitching into a smile. “What happens after your position is over?”
“I’ll find work around here.” I don’t add that it might be at her school. There’s no point in worrying her until I know for sure. I’m convinced things are going to work out so long as I’m not her actual teacher. “I’m not planning on going anywhere. There are tons of positions advertised at the moment. I’m qualified to teach both high school and college history.”
Rewriting History Page 2
