He gave her a genuine smile laced with real warmth. Sliding his hand beneath her elbow, he said, “Come on, it’s time we started back.”
“Yes,” she agreed, looking at the watch on her wrist. “Oh, darn it. My watch died. What time is it, Garret?”
He pulled his wrist out enough from beneath the sleeve of his coat to look at his Rolex. “Three thirty p.m., or 1530 to us military types.”
“You’re right, we need to get back. I have to get started on Ray’s dinner soon.”
Watching her shift gears, the sudden mask of responsibility meshed with concern fell over her expression. Garret eased her forward, taking the same steps back in the deep snow in order to reach the truck. He wished mightily he could release Kira from having to take care of Crawford. More and more, he saw how much it dampened her spirit. Just now, he’d seen the old Kira from Afghanistan. There, she’d been a wild child, spontaneous, affectionate with all the village kids and animals, always with a smile for everyone. She truly had been the team’s secret weapon in winning the hearts and minds of that village and its elders. Everyone had loved Kira, without exception. And so did he.
Chapter Sixteen
Kira had no time to analyze her actions with Garret. As soon as she got home, she put the camera in the office and then took off for Ray’s. It was four p.m. and she was running a little late. Her heart sang with joy as she replayed kissing Garret. In the crazy heat of the moment, she couldn’t help herself and had turned and kissed him.
Touching her brow as she entered the house, she wondered what had happened to her. Why then? Groaning, Kira had to tuck that beautiful, unscripted moment away. Her lips still remembered the imprint of Garret’s mouth on hers, the power of his kiss. He’d stolen her breath away and sent her spinning and melting into his arms. She had fully trusted herself with him.
Ray was at the table when she entered the kitchen. He barely looked up at her, a crossword magazine in his hands.
“You’re late.”
Kira smiled a little and tied on the apron. “Not really. All you’re having tonight are turkey leftovers. It’s easy enough to heat them in the oven for your five p.m. dinner.”
He grunted and returned to his magazine.
Okay, then. This was such a typical response from him that Kira blew off his scowl and took all the leftovers from the fridge, placing them on the counter.
“I got PT tomorrow at three p.m., you know.”
“Yes. I’ll be driving you in. The roads have been cleared from last night’s snow.”
“Is that why you were late? You went somewhere with Fleming?”
Surprised, she turned in his direction. “Yes, we went and took some photographs up at Moose Lake.”
“Get anything?”
Kira returned to her work. This was the first time Ray had shown any interest in anything she did. She told him about seeing the wolf pack.
“That’s not the Snake River pack,” he told her. “Their alpha male is gray.”
“Garret was saying that there’s a second pack that’s formed in the valley. The black wolf was once part of the Snake River pack but got chased off by the alpha male. Later, he hooked up with a female white wolf and started a second pack.”
“Women have no business in a man’s world.”
Suddenly he was being chatty. Kira remained silent, put the food on a plate, wrapped it in foil and slid it into the oven.
“You need to give a set to Wyoming Fish and Game, too. They’re the ones who’ll be real interested in those pictures you took.”
“I will, for sure,” she agreed.
Ray penciled in some letters into the crossword puzzle. Turning, Kira went to the sink, wishing she could run away from this man. All of a sudden Ray was being conversational. What had spurred him on? The liquor? Kira didn’t know and was unsettled by the shift in his tactics and demeanor. How she wished the food in the oven would get hot enough to serve to him sooner, not later. When she served him the meal, though, she had her answer. She could smell the liquor on his breath.
* * *
Kira felt relief as she stepped into the house. Garret was getting their supper ready, which was warmed-up turkey leftovers for them, too.
“How’d it go?” he asked, lifting his chin, staring at her as she hung up her parka.
Grimacing, Kira told him what had happened. She walked into the kitchen to get plates down from the cupboard. Garret’s mouth quirked and she could tell he was affected by her story.
“Ray’s probably drunk,” he said flatly. He cut up some French bread, then slathered it with melted butter and diced garlic, brushing it between each slice.
“Is that why he’s suddenly chatty?” she asked, setting the table.
“Could be. You said the odor around him was strong. Could be he drank more than usual. Who knows?” He placed aluminum foil around the bread and slid it into the oven to heat. “You look upset.”
Kira turned and shrugged. “Yes. He started saying all vets were weaklings.”
Garret wiped his hands on the towel and hung it up. He poured them fresh coffee and gestured toward the table. “Come on, let’s go sit down. It’s going to take the food about fifteen minutes to heat.”
Kira felt his powerful sense of protection surround her as they sat down at each other’s elbows at the table. The tightness in her stomach dissolved. Did Garret know how much she loved the sense of safety he always bestowed upon her? Kira wanted to tell him but didn’t feel it was the right time. There was a new warmth she saw in his hazel eyes, too. Was it because of her spontaneous kiss earlier that day?
Everything was shifting between them, and Kira realized she had a lot to do with it. She hadn’t been completely forthcoming about their kiss, about what it meant to her. What to say? How much to reveal about her love for him? Garret had kissed her like a man who wanted to love his woman. It was no light kiss. Not a kiss between friends. That molten moment had turned into a kiss between two lovers and she knew it. There was so much to think about. To sort out.
* * *
Kira tossed and turned. The clock on her bedstand read two a.m. Her mind and her heart would not turn off about her kissing Garret at Moose Lake. All she had to do was close her eyes and allow their kiss to embrace her once more. She could still taste Garret on her lips and never wanted it to go away.
She hadn’t thought about what might happen when they kissed, but her whole body was still vibrating with need for him since then. It hadn’t been a gentle kiss on her part either. Kira realized she’d kissed him with all the pent-up longing she’d held for years for Garret. And there was nothing platonic about it. It was the kiss of a hungry, sex-starved woman wanting her man and letting him know it.
What had startled the hell out of Kira was the ferocity of her kiss, her mouth curving and taking Garret’s mouth without any hesitation. She sighed, lay on her back, pulling her arm across her eyes. She’d kissed Garret like a female alpha wolf telling the male she wanted to mate with him. It had been a raw, primal kiss and still, the sensations, the memories of it, were floating like liquid lava throughout her entire lower body.
Moaning, she turned over, burying her head in the pillow, gripping it, unsure of what to reveal to Garret. Should she come clean about what she hadn’t said to him? That yes, it had been a totally crazy, spontaneous kiss at first. But when he’d gotten over his initial shock, he’d kissed her back. And the man had kissed her like his life depended upon it. She knew he had, and that was what startled her so much. Kira hadn’t kissed him with any intention but to share her unparalleled joy over unexpectedly seeing the wolves. And it had turned hot and hungry between them. As if... as if Garret wanted to kiss her as much as she’d wanted to kiss him.
Her mind rocked with the what ifs. What if Garret did care about her beyond friendship? What if it went deeper than that? How deep did it go? Kira was afraid because she was unsure of Garret’s endgame with that kiss. Had he deepened the kiss between them because he wanted sex? Only sex?
He was a man after all. Was this only about raw sexuality that needed to be fulfilled? Was that all it meant to him?
She couldn’t go in that direction. No matter how sex hungry she was, Kira wasn’t able to make love to a man who didn’t mean something serious and ongoing to her. She just wasn’t built any other way and she couldn’t go against what she knew was right for her.
Kira had had two powerful relationships in her life. When she was nineteen, Neal, an Army sergeant, had pursued her until he’d gotten her in his bed. And she’d fallen in love with him. But nine months later she’d found out he was married and had two children. Mortified, Kira had broken it off, vowing to never trust another man.
But she had, at twenty-one, when she’d fallen hopelessly in love with Alex Edwards, a Special Forces A team weapons sergeant. It had been the best year of her life. She’d discovered what love was really all about. They’d shared bodies, hearts and souls with each other. A year later he was killed a month after deploying to Afghanistan, and her whole world had crumbled around her.
Sitting up, Kira pushed her fingers through her hair, her heart roiling. It had been a year later, after being put into the undercover operation, that Kira had met Garret. Almost instantly she’d fallen in love with him. And for three years she could do or say nothing about it. The ache for Garret was always there, a part of her daily work world in the village because he often accompanied her on her duties. They had an easy friendship, a lot of jokes, laughter and fun shared between them.
But never a kiss. Because it had been off-limits. Taboo. But the kiss he’d given her today, that raw, male, primal kiss, had told her he wanted her in every way possible. She’d never realized just how much Garret had wanted her until that afternoon. Her world had shifted drastically as a result.
But what to do about it? How to approach Garret? Or should she? What if Garret was interested only in sex with her while they lived in the house together? Nothing more? Just sex. Kira knew it would be world-class sex because Garret was sensitive to her and her moods. The way he’d gentled that initial powerful kiss, rocked her lips open further, moved his tongue teasingly against hers, had sent her body into wild longing. He would be a wonderful lover; there was no doubt about that.
But Kira wanted a lot more than a sexual relationship with Garret and wouldn’t settle for anything less. When she loved a man, she loved him with all her being. There had to be deep emotional ties with the man, nothing frivolous, nothing inconsequential.
How to talk to him about this? Kira knew, judging from the look in Garret’s eyes at the kitchen table that night, that he wanted her. It was clear to her because she saw a starving desire in them. He was’t trying to hide it. Kira felt fear and longing all at the same time. Fear that Garret wanted something far less meaningful than she did. He didn’t realize she was unable to love fully, with all her heart, unless there was something serious and long-lasting going on between them. How to tell him that? And Kira was concerned that they lived in the same house. What if their relationship didn’t work out? What then? Could she lose her job? These were daunting questions with no answers.
Tomorrow she had to take Ray to his doctor in Wind River. She was planning on seeing Brook Russell, a friend of Shay’s whom she’d met in town and befriended. They had gotten along wonderfully, and Kira cherished their friendship. She was planning on dropping over for a quick visit to see her and her daughter, Lily, while Ray waited to be seen by his doctor.
* * *
Three-year-old Lily looked wonderingly up at Kira as she leaned over and smiled down at the child in Brook’s arms. She was dressed in a pair of light yellow coveralls, a pink, long-sleeved sweater beneath it, complementing her ginger-colored hair. Brook sat down and placed her daughter in her lap, taking off her knee-high boots, which were wet with snow. Lily’s large, blue eyes never left Kira as she knelt down beside her, placing her hand on the little girl.
“She’s precious,” Kira said to Brook. “So beautiful.”
Brook had long, blond hair she had tied into a thick, single braid that lay down the back of her pale green cowl-necked sweater. Her eyes were sky blue, just like her daughter’s.
“Precious for sure,” Brook said with a grin, handing Kira first one wet boot and then the other. She pulled up Lily’s socks over her small feet. “She’s just like her daddy, always on the go. A real type A.” Brook set her daughter down and Lily immediately took off through the living room toward the hall to her bedroom.
“Someday,” Kira said wistfully, boots in her hand, “I want one just like her. You’re so lucky.”
Brook was one of Shay’s best friends, both having been born in the valley. Shay and Brook had attended school together. She pushed her hands against her jeans and rose. “Come on; join me out in the kitchen while you wait for Crawford. Would you like some coffee?”
“Love some. Where do I put Lily’s boots?”
“Oh.” Brook pointed to the mud porch. “Out there. Thanks.”
Brook had married Brian Russell when she was eighteen. He’d gone into the Marine Corps and she’d gone to college to get a degree as an RN. At twenty-five, Brian had been killed in Afghanistan. Brook had found out she was pregnant with Lily and come home to Wind River. Still grief-stricken, Brook had needed a job, and Taylor Douglas, the physician assistant, had hired her to help run her clinic.
Brook, at twenty-eight, was only now coming out of her grief, from what Kira could tell. She’d once told Kira that she would never marry another military man. And Kira could understand why she felt that way.
Looking around, Kira admired the cedar log cabin Brook and Lily lived in. The kitchen was an extension of the living room, open concept. Kira sat at the table while Brook busied herself in the kitchen making their coffee. “This house feels so warm and nurturing.”
Brook tilted her head, nodding. “It is now. I was a mess when I came home after Brian was killed, though.”
“The house has been a calming influence for you?”
“The very best kind,” Brook murmured, her voice laced with emotion. “Just being near my parents has helped me and Lily so much. They love being grandparents. Family is so important.”
“Shay has said she was so happy you came home after your husband was killed.”
Brook brought two mugs to the table. “I was glad, too. My folks are here and that was the most important reason to come back to Wind River. When I arrived here, it was my parents who helped me find this cabin. I was such an emotional mess at the time, Kira. Shay helped me get a job with Taylor’s medical clinic.”
“And look at you now,” Kira said, her voice filled with admiration. “You look beautiful, so happy,” and she found herself admiring Brook’s strength to survive the loss of the man she loved so much.
“It’s been a long road back,” Brook assured her. She gave Kira a smile. “Garret and I are buddies. We’ve been close ever since he came here a year ago. He’s sort of like a big brother to me. I don’t know if you knew that.”
“No,” Kira said. “But he’s an easygoing guy who makes friends wherever he goes.”
Brook brought over a plate of Oreo cookies. “He’s really focused on you.”
“What do you mean?”
Sitting down, Brook nudged the plate in Kira’s direction. “He likes you. A lot.”
“Well,” Kira stumbled, “we worked together for three years in Afghanistan. Did he tell you that?”
Brook smiled and relaxed against the hard-backed chair. “Oh, yes.” She gave Kira a searching look. “You mean the world to him, Kira.”
Blinking once to underscore her shock, she said, “What do you mean, Brook?”
“Anytime I run into him in town, the conversation is always about you. He’s got nothing but praise and respect for you. He once told me how you’d rescued him and you’d both survived that ambush when no one else did. He didn’t say anything beyond that because it was top secret, but I could read between the lines, having been a military wife.”
<
br /> Somber, Kira picked up an Oreo. “Yes,” she whispered, “we were the only two survivors . . .”
Reaching out, Brook’s hand fell over hers. “He cares so deeply for you, Kira.” She gave her a searching look. “I don’t know if you realize that.”
Shaken, Kira shook her head. “We’ve always been friends.” Did she dare confide their kiss from the day before? Brook Russell was a very gentle soul, quiet and incredibly caring and sincere. She made Kira want to confide in her. Garret had been right; she and Brook had become fast, close friends. Every time she had to take Ray for an appointment or to the gym, she dropped over to see Brook and her daughter.
Removing her hand, Brook nodded. “Friendship is the best basis on which to build a relationship. The first thing Brian offered me was his friendship when we were freshmen in high school.”
“Garret really makes me feel calm when he’s around me,” Kira admitted.
“Does he make you feel safe? Because Brian always gave me that.”
“He does,” Kira acknowledged. “Sometimes I call him a big, gruff teddy bear, which he hates,” and she laughed a little.
“Is it something you feel coming around you, like invisible arms holding you?” Brook asked.
“Very much like that.” Kira frowned and gazed into Brook’s amused-looking blue eyes. “Why? How do you know that?”
“Because,” she said quietly, holding Kira’s confused eyes, “I didn’t realize it at the time, but Brian told me about it later. He said he fell in love with me right from the start. He couldn’t help himself. And of course he hid that little nugget of information from me for a long time. He proposed to me after we graduated from high school. I married him when I was eighteen. It was an amazing thing to me. He didn’t even have to touch me. Just be nearby. I was so grateful to him for giving me that.” Her eyes sparkled. “It wasn’t until far into our relationship that I realized what had happened and why.”
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