“So they don’t hate me?” I grimaced.
“Of course not.” He leaned over and kissed me, his lips lingering hotly against my own.
“I’m sorry if I ruined everyone’s Thanksgiving.”
“Do not worry about it. Mother, Phoebe and my brother’s wife Leslie, are over there cooking up a storm. You did not ruin anything. Dad just discovered a new roaster that can cook a turkey in a third of the time so this gave him the excuse he needed to try it out.”
“Well then, I’m glad everything worked out,” I laughed.
“My parents wanted to invite your family over for a formal Thanksgiving dinner.” Jackson kept his arms loosely around my waist. “A peace offering if you will.”
“You’re kidding?”
“No. Why?” he looked hurt.
“Because my family, with the exception of possibly my dad, probably isn’t going to be too thrilled about us getting back together,” I said softly, raising my eyebrows at him.
“This could smooth some of that over.” His optimism amazed me. Unfortunately, it also told me volumes about how little he really did know about my family here.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said with hesitation.
“Will you please ask them? For me?” How could I say no to that?
“All right, but you have to come with me.” I knew this was not going to be good. Jackson smiled and nodded. We walked hand in hand back into the family room.
My dad was back in his recliner, Ethan in the other and even Landon had gotten into the game. The three of them looked comical, screaming like idiots at the television. Jackson and I stood silently off to the side waiting for a commercial break. I knew better than to interrupt a football game. I wasn’t sure about Landon, but I knew Dad and Ethan would be none too pleased.
“Hey Dad, can I talk to you for a sec?” I asked at the next commercial break.
“Sure, go ahead.” He barely turned his head in our direction.
“No, um…in the kitchen.” I wanted to get him alone.
Shane fully turned and noticed the two of us standing there. “Oh, okay.” He got up and followed us.
The kitchen was vacant and silent, probably unlike almost all kitchens on this day. There were no steaming pots on the stove, turkey in the oven, or pies cooling on the counter. Only an empty box of donuts and coffee creamer adorned our counters. I could see the strange look on Jackson’s face when he realized our lack of festivities.
“How you been Jackson?”
“Good sir, good. And you?”
“I’m doing all right. What can I do for you both?”
“My parents and siblings along with their spouses and children returned from Boston late last evening and are currently putting the finishing touches on an enormous Thanksgiving feast and would really like it if you and your family would consider joining us.”
My dad shifted his weight uncomfortably considering the full ramifications of saying yes despite how much I knew he would truly love a home cooked family Thanksgiving dinner like the ones his family had had before he married my mother.
“Please thank your family for the very considerate invitation. I would absolutely love to. However, I have some concerns about how both my son and my wife would react to the offer and I am very concerned about how they would behave if they came,” he rambled nervously.
Jackson smiled considerately. “I understand. I know there are still some ill feelings about the future of our relationship.” He glanced in my direction and slipped his arm around my waist. “Yet, my family and I were hoping that this would be a good opportunity for us all to get together, sit down and calmly discuss and finally put to rest any apprehensions.”
“If it were only that easy,” Dad chuckled. “As educated as my wife is, I am afraid that she forgot to take the course on interpersonal communications. She doesn’t exactly handle confrontations with style and grace.” Despite myself, I snickered at his words. “That being said, please tell your parents I appreciate their invitation and apologize because I must decline. However, Jocelyn can go as long as she promises to bring me some leftovers and a piece of homemade pumpkin pie.”
“Of course.”
“Thanks Daddy.” I hugged him briefly before turning towards Jackson. “I need to change and get ready. You want to hang out here and wait?”
Jackson glanced over at the archway leading into the living room where Ethan was still watching the game and grinned slightly. “How about I return in an hour to escort you to dinner?”
“Okay.” I leaned up and kissed him quickly on the cheek.
***
After he left, I stood in front of my closet, staring stupidly at my wardrobe.
“He’s much better looking than I remembered from your birthday.” Sidney’s voice came from my doorway before she entered my room. She closed my door and sat down on the corner of my bed. She picked up one of my throw pillows and fumbled with it thoughtlessly. “I can see why you are so taken with him.”
All I could do was smile over in her direction. My stomach was in knots and I was so nervous about seeing Jackson’s extended family for the first time here. It was so bizarre for me to even consider how they appeared on this plane. My only images were those from there and thinking of them in modern attire was unimaginable to me.
“You do realize that marriage is not just a ring around your finger, Jocelyn. It’s more like a noose around your neck.” I turned and gave her a dirty look.
“That’s a pleasant way of looking at it.”
“Seriously, look at our parents. You can’t tell me they’re happy?” the tone of her voice dropped.
“No, they’re not. I know that. I live here,” I admitted and joined her on my bed. “I think they’ve drifted apart over the years.”
“Drifted apart?” she snorted. “That’s a mild understatement. They have nothing in common. They don’t spend any time together.” Her matter-of-fact admission hit home hard.
“I know people grow and change over the years, but you have to grow and change together. You also have to have some things in common that you can discuss and share. Also, I believe it is essential that each has their own personal hobby or activity. Something that allows you to escape, relax and gives you peace after a long stressful day.” She gave me a weird look. “You know what I mean, something simple like reading a book or writing in a journal or whatever. Something that is just for you.”
“I suppose. I know Mom and Dad still golf together,” she shrugged. “But I don’t think they like each other very much. It’s more like they’re together more out of habit than love.”
“I’d like to believe they still love each other.”
“Maybe,” she shrugged again. “Who knows anymore?” Sidney shook her head as if clearing her thoughts. “So what are you going to wear?”
Dread settled back over me once more. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
“For meeting his siblings for the first time? I’d go with something casual, but classy.”
“Such as…?” My limited wardrobe contained no such items. I had very few reasons for dressing up and therefore, almost all my clothes were school casual.
“Hang on.” She sprang from my bed and headed for the door. “I’ve got the perfect outfit.”
I chuckled to myself as I listened to her footsteps banging on the stairs leading to her third floor bedroom.
Sidney’s room was enormous, not only in size but in pure uniqueness. One corner was a curved column, there were wooden ceiling beams, and everything in the room screamed Sidney. My dad had remodeled the space that had once been Mimi and Eddie’s quarters into a modern playground of sorts for her when we were young. I was always so jealous of her room, not only because of its sheer size, but because she had her own private luxury bathroom and walk-in closet.
Sidney bounced back into the room and handed the outfit to me. I glanced over the articles of clothing and wrinkled my forehead. We’d always had such drastically diffe
rent styles and this was all her. “Will you trust me for once?” she laughed.
“All right, but if Jackson doesn’t recognize me, it’ll be your fault,” I stated with skepticism.
I slipped off my robe and climbed into the tan slacks with dark brown pin stripes, a sheer, cream colored, loose flowing blouse with oversized ruffles along the cuffs and some that elongated down the front and around the neck, and a darker brown oversized sweater jacket with cream and blue specks embedded in it. I stood in front of the mirror staring at a reflection I didn’t recognize.
“Stop kidding around, Jocelyn,” she laughed. “I swear, your fashion sense is nonexistent.” She walked up behind me and pulled the neck ruffle out from under the jacket and untied the knot of the sweater I’d tied in front of me. She spun me around and tied it around my back hanging loosely so that I couldn’t even tell it was tied.
“Sorry,” I giggled. I had to admit her small touches made a world of difference.
“Isn’t this sweet, my two daughters playing dress-up. You two didn’t even do this when you were young.” Our mother, Amy, stood in my doorway watching us, but no smile crossed her lips. “Where are you planning on going, Jocelyn?” Immediately, my palms began to sweat.
“I was invited over to the Chandlers for Thanksgiving dinner,” I replied in a low voice.
“I thought you were done with all that nonsense,” she scowled.
“Mom…please, we were all invited. Dad just didn’t think you’d want to go.”
“And he’s right. Why would I want to ruin my holiday with people who couldn’t care less about my daughter’s education and her future?” she said with a hateful tone.
“That’s not true. If you’d listen to us for once….” I tried to explain, but she cut me off.
“Listen to you? I have listened to you.” She walked slowly towards us in an almost menacing fashion that took me by surprise. “I have heard all about this wedding nonsense, this crap about being in love and meant to be together and happily ever after,” she scoffed. “Let me tell you something my darling daughter, there is no such thing as happily ever after and when this little charade blows up in your face and you’re left on your own to take care of yourself and your children, you’d better hope you can support all of you on your own before you and your kids end up as another welfare statistic.”
Her words burned into my deepest fears. Even Sidney looked shocked. “Mom, Jackson would never…”
“You are so naïve. Do you have any idea how many single moms I see every day, bringing their children in for check-ups or whatever, who dropped out of school and can’t get the poor bastard to pay child support? They all get stuck in meaningless dead-end jobs and live off the system. I’d hate to see you become one of them.” She shook her head slightly before turning to leave the room.
“I won’t. We’ll prove you wrong,” I taunted. “I’ll finish my graduate degree, you wait and see. Jackson and I can do this with or without your support.”
My mom paused at my door with her hand on the doorknob and her back still towards us. In a low voice, I distinctly heard her say, “No…you won’t. You’re not special enough.”
Tears welled up in my eyes before I could even get angry. She closed the door behind her and within seconds, her own bedroom door slammed shut.
I sat down at my vanity and blotted my eyes. “Don’t let her get to you.” Sidney came over and placed her hands on my shoulders. “You don’t want to go over to Jackson’s all red eyed.” She leaned in a little closer. “Besides Jocelyn, you are the most stubborn person I have ever met in my entire life. I know that once you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything if for no other reason than to prove everyone wrong. If you say you can do this, I know you can.”
“Thanks, Sid,” I squeaked.
She smiled brightly. “Now, let’s get your hair and make-up done. Jackson will be here soon.”
***
Jackson arrived on time and we left without incident. We walked slowly across the yards. I wanted to be in good spirits, but my mother’s words kept ringing in my ears. I couldn’t believe how cruel she could be when she put her mind to it. She had never spoken to me before with such malice and contempt. I hated to think that our relationship was beyond repair, but I was beginning to believe it was riding that line.
The chilly wind whipped around us causing Jackson to place his arm protectively around me. He smiled over at me in such a way that it renewed my faith in our love for one another. At least I could take some comfort in knowing that there were still some individuals in this world—and my other—who believed I was special.
***
I snuggled down beneath my comforter with glorious thoughts running amuck in my brain. Phoebe and Alex were all that I remembered and more. It was odd in a strange sense to meet their other spouses here when in my memories of them they were married to Silas and Veronica. Here they were married to Carson and Leslie—very sweet, funny and thoughtful individuals but strangely, nothing even similar to their counterparts. I spent a large portion of the afternoon and evening attempting to wrap my brain around their bizarre situations. It was just plain weird.
I spent the next several hours tossing and turning, trying to understand how they managed their dual lives and dual relationships. I couldn’t imagine being consciously aware of both planes and being married to and intimate with two separate people who were so drastically different from one another. I realized again just how truly lucky I was to have Jackson, someone whom I could travel through both my lives with, love and laugh with and stand beside me through both the good and the bad times. As rare as our gift supposedly was, it truly was a miracle that we managed to find each other in this crazy world. The acknowledgement of that finally gave my mind the peace and solace I’d been searching for since I’d crawled into bed. I smiled softly to myself and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
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