“Your dog is expecting.”
Penny blinked. “Olive is pregnant?”
“My kid sister’s a vet, remember? She’s pregnant, all right. All fifty-plus pounds of her, and I’ll hazard a guess she’ll be even heftier in the next few weeks.”
Penny shook her head and crouched down on the floor to bring herself to Olive’s eye level. “I never would have guessed! I mean, look at her. She doesn’t exactly look like the glowing mother-to-be, does she?” Ollie tilted her head to one side as if listening, looking for all the world like a fighter who’d been hit in the face too often. “Puppies, Olive! You’re going to be a mommy.”
Ben cleared his throat. She couldn’t quite believe he was competing with her dog for her attention, but that was the feeling she got. She stood up again, brushing her hands together. “She’s quite a dog.”
“Jessi seems to think so. Pure English bulldog, she says. Where did you get her?”
Ollie barked as if to say it was about time someone recognized her greatness. Penny smiled at her companion. “I found her outside a diner in El Paso. The owner tried to kick her, I threatened to kick him and we’ve sort of been together ever since.”
Ben stared at her as if he wasn’t certain who she was. Join the club, she thought.
“You threatened to kick a grown man?”
“Oh, it was more than a threat. I’d have done it in a minute. He said she’d been there for weeks, though, and since she has no tags and no collar, I figured she was as alone in the world as I was.”
She saw him wince, and wished she hadn’t blurted that.
“I’m sorry you were alone, Penny,” he told her. His blue eyes bore into hers intently, yet managed to convey gentleness at the same time. “You have to believe that if I knew you were alive, no power in heaven or earth could have kept me from coming for you.”
Her breath rushed out of her lungs all at once. He said that with such passion. Could it be true?
She didn’t know what to say, how to respond to that.
He seemed a little surprised by his own words, as well, as if he’d blurted them without intending to. And he averted his gaze. “I…I thought you came up here to lie down.”
“I did. My headache’s better now.”
“Still….”
“I think I’ll take a shower and then…then I’d like to look around the ranch, if that’s okay.”
He frowned as if it was the last thing he expected to hear from her. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea….”
“Why not? It’s a beautiful day and I want to see this place I’m supposed to know so well. I’m curious.”
“But you should rest—”
“I can rest when I’m dead,” she quipped, then stilled when Ben’s face went so chalk white she thought he might pass out cold. It must have been instinct that made her rush close to him, gripping his firm shoulder in one hand and cupping the base of his neck with the other. “Hell, I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say. Are you okay?”
“Sure, fine.” His voice was little more than a rasp. Then he looked down into her eyes, and she was still touching him, and she knew he wanted a lot more. To hold her. To kiss her. She could practically read each thought that crossed his mind. “If, um, if you’re sure you feel up to it, I’ll take you around the ranch this afternoon.”
“I’m not so sure you feel up to it,” she said.
Ben stared down at her face. “You would tell me…if you were…under the weather or…or anything.”
“I can’t think of any reason why I wouldn’t.”
Studying her face, he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Okay.”
“Guess I’ll take that shower now.”
He glanced toward the bathroom. “I’ll run you a bath—”
“For heaven’s sake, Ben, was I a complete invalid before, or what?”
He blinked at her as if searching for words. “I just…” He gave his head a shake. “Sorry. I’ll get out of your hair.” He turned to go, then turned back. “Jessi says pregnancy can be tricky for bulldogs…not that there’s anything to worry about. Just, when you feel up to it, we ought to bring her by the clinic for a checkup.”
“When I feel up to it?” Penny repeated.
Ben shrugged. “Right.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.”
He nodded and then left her alone. Penny lay back on the bed, head throbbing all over again, eyes wet, longing with everything in her to remember the past she’d lost. Wondering why her husband seemed to think she wouldn’t have the energy to go into town for something as simple as taking her dog to the vet. Why he’d seemed shocked she’d felt like exploring the ranch.
She was going to have to sit him down and make him tell her the truth. And part of her wondered why she hadn’t done that already.
She knew why. The look in his eyes scared the hell out of her. And part of her thought maybe the truth was something she really didn’t want to know.
Ollie stood with paws on the edge of the bed and barked until Penny pulled her up. Then the little dog curled close beside her. In seconds she was snoring.
“You sure don’t snore like a female,” Penny whispered, stroking the still damp fur.
Ollie groaned contently and snuggled closer, while Penny found herself a notepad and a pencil, and began to list her newfound relatives and, beside each name, the reasons why it was so hard to believe any one of them had been involved in trying to get rid of her.
The Texas Ranger kept looking at him, and Dr. Barlow didn’t like the suspicion in the man’s eyes. “And you say your name is…?”
“Jenkins,” Dr. Barlow lied. “Now, I know my wife has been here. Please, sir, if you know where she is, just tell me. She’s seriously ill, and—”
“She didn’t look ill to me, sir.”
Barlow went still, eyes narrowing. “Then you have seen her?”
The Ranger nodded, but the doctor noticed the way he pressed his lips together. As if mentally telling them not to say any more. “I saw the woman in this photo, yes. But I have no idea who she is or where she is.”
“Where was she when you saw her?”
“In a car.”
“Heading in what direction?”
“Sittin’ still.” The Ranger picked up a pen and tapped it on his desk. “You want to file a missing-persons report on her?” he asked, and he reached for a form. “Just need to see some ID, then you can give me her full name and—”
“No, no, I don’t think that will be necessary.” Barlow couldn’t show him identification, much less give him Penny’s real name. In case she hadn’t figured it out on her own yet, then the fewer people who knew, the better. But he still had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach…a feeling that he knew where to look next.
“Tell you what,” the Ranger said with a helpful smile. “You tell me where you’re stayin’ while you’re in town, and I’ll give you a call if she turns up.”
“Thank you kindly,” Barlow said in a drawling imitation of the officer’s semi-charming accent. “But I believe I’ll call you instead. Simpler, you know. What with me being on the road, as I am at present.”
“Fine by me.” The Ranger glanced at the phone on his desk for the third time.
Dr. Barlow had an inkling the man was in a hurry for him to leave so he could place a call. And he had no doubt the call would be about him, and his interest in finding Penny Brand. He was glad he’d used a false name, then, though it wouldn’t do much good. She’d have advance warning. Time to run away and hide from him again.
The problem was, there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop the man from placing that phone call. So he guessed he’d just have to track her down before she had the chance to run away again.
Ben went outside to help with morning chores, which had been delayed already by all the excitement. He came back a couple of hours later, walked into the house, glanced around and didn’t see Penny. He did see the morning paper and a handful of coffee mugs scattered across t
he kitchen table, though. He hastily cleared up the mess, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Penny had always hated clutter. She’d been a neat freak of the highest order.
Chelsea came into the kitchen when she heard the cups rattling. “How you doing, Ben?”
He gave a distracted shake of his head. “Where’s Penny?”
“Still up in Jessi’s room.”
He instantly got worried. “I knew it. She wasn’t feeling as good as she tried to make us all think. If she’s been in bed all this time, she must be….” He didn’t finish. Just swallowed hard, closed the dishwasher and started for the doorway.
“Ben, I don’t think she’s been in bed. And, um, she could probably use some time alone.”
He flinched as if she’d slapped him. “She’s had two years to be alone for crying—” Biting his lip, he closed his eyes slowly. “Sorry, Chelsea. I had no call to snap at you that way.”
“You’re frustrated,” she said. “It’s understandable.”
He shook his head. “I’ve been thinking about it, Chelsea. And I think—hell, I just have to be patient. She’ll remember me once she’s been home awhile. I know she will.”
She studied him as if studying a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit. “What if she doesn’t, Ben?”
“She will.”
Drawing a slow breath, Chelsea took a mug from the tree on the counter and filled it with coffee. She added fresh cream from the fridge, gave the brew a stir and then set the mug on the table. “Sit down, Ben. Give her a few more minutes. I want to talk to you.”
He didn’t want to sit down. He didn’t like the look in Chelsea’s eyes. Like she was about to pop the big bright balloon he’d so carefully created for himself, the one filled with the hopes he’d told himself not to let in. Too late. It had been too late the second he’d looked into Penny’s brown eyes. He had to hope, dammit. He had nothing but hope right now.
He sat down, only because he wasn’t sure what he was going to say to Penny when he went to her. Maybe he’d think of something in the next few minutes. He didn’t want to tell her about her condition. Not yet. He wanted to pretend it didn’t exist.
And it would be easy. God, she looked so healthy.
Not that hope. Not that one, come on, Ben, don’t dig yourself in too deep here.
“You’re not a headshrinker just yet,” he reminded Chelsea when she sipped her own coffee and eyed him over the top of the cup.
“No, but I’m the closest thing to one you’ve got at the moment.” She took another sip. They were alone in the house. Through the kitchen window Ben could see Wes outside, holding little Bubba in front of him in the saddle as he headed out to check the fence lines. Taylor rode beside him, dark hair flying. The others had all gone.
“You know I only want the best for you, Ben,” Chelsea said. “And I really hope Penny’s memory comes back on its own. But I think you need to consider the possibility that it might not happen that way.”
He lowered his gaze, staring at the caramel-colored coffee. Chelsea knew him well enough to make it just the right shade. So she ought to know him well enough to realize he wouldn’t accept what she was saying if he didn’t want to. And he didn’t want to, dammit.
“We don’t have any idea what caused the amnesia,” she went on. “Until she sees a doctor or we get a look at her medical records, we won’t know, Ben. And even when we do, we may not be able to guess whether her memory will come back. We might very well have to just wait and see.
“She’ll remember,” Ben said.
“Okay, maybe she will.” Chelsea slid her hands over Ben’s, where he clutched the handle of his cup. “But in case she doesn’t, Ben, maybe you ought to try the idea on, see if it’s something you can deal with. She might come back someday, or maybe she never will. You have to start over, Ben, right now. Get to know who she is, and don’t expect her to be who she was.”
He set his cup down and pushed away from the table. “Who she is” he said softly, “is a woman who doesn’t know me and probably wouldn’t like me much if she did. Who she was, is a woman who loved me. Now, if you were in my shoes, Chelsea, which one do you think you’d be looking to find behind those brown eyes?”
“Who you’d rather find doesn’t make any difference. She can’t be a person she doesn’t remember, no matter how badly you might want her to be.”
“She’ll remember,” he said. And he got to his feet.
Chelsea sighed and got up, as well. “I hope so.” But she didn’t look real hopeful about it. “Meanwhile she looks to be about my size. I’ve sorted out a pile of clothes for her. They’re in the basket in my room.”
Ben felt badly for being short with Chelsea. The woman was sweet as honey, and her heart was spilling over with enough love for every Brand on this place and any strays who wandered in, besides. “That was thoughtful of you, Chelsea. Thanks.”
She shrugged. “There are still some of Jessi’s clothes in her room, but I figured they’d all be a good six inches too long. We petites have to stick together.” She sent him a wink.
Ben headed through the living room and up the stairs. He stopped off in Chelsea and Garrett’s room, the master bedroom that used to belong to his parents. The basket sat just inside the door heaped with jeans and blouses and other things, all neatly folded. He scooped it up, and moved on down the hall all the way to the end. The room next to his had been his baby sister’s. Now it was his wife’s, and he could hear music coming from beyond it. The radio, he guessed. Something to fill the silence. He knew that need to have noise around to drown out the scream of loneliness. Feeling like a school kid and hating it, he raised his big hand and tapped gently.
“Come in,” she called.
Ben opened the door and stepped inside. And then he just stood there, feeling like a hapless traveler who’d stumbled into the twilight zone. The music was loud, the beat driving, the lyrics sexy as hell, or at least they were if he was understanding them right, and he was only getting about every other word. The bathroom door stood ajar, and he could see wet towels and puddles on the floor in there. Out here, in the bedroom, the clothes Penny had been wearing were flung haphazardly over the back of a chair. An empty teacup lay on its side on the bedside stand. The bedcovers looked like a wrestling match had just taken place on the bed.
Penny wore Jessi’s old bathrobe. She was down on all fours, holding an alarm clock in both hands and pulling for all she was worth. The cord stretched out straight from the clock, and Ben had to step farther inside to see what was on the other end, though he could have guessed.
That stubby bulldog held the cord in her teeth, pulling hard and snarling like a pit bull with a toothache.
It threw him. All of it.
He set the basket on the bed, and then reached over to flick the radio off. “You need some help there?” he asked. “Your dog sounds like she’s going to take your hand off any minute.”
“Olive would never hurt me. She just won’t give back the clock, and I’m afraid she’ll ruin it.” She tugged. Olive growled louder and tugged back.
Everything in him wanted to scoop Penny off that floor before she hurt herself, but he’d already figured out that kind of thing would irritate her—now. Didn’t use to.
When she was sick, she’d come to depend on his taking care of her.
But he resisted the urge. “Try setting the clock down,” he suggested instead.
Penny stopped tugging, and turned to frown up at him. It hit him like a kick to the breadbasket, because her soft brown hair was hanging in her eyes, and she wrinkled up her nose when she scowled up at him like that. He wanted to kiss her. Instead, he cleared his throat and tried to swallow.
Then she nodded. “Okay, it’s worth a try. Here you go, Ollie. I surrender.” She put the clock on the floor.
Olive immediately dropped the cord and sat very politely, tilting her head at Penny as if to ask why she’d given up so easily.
Penny picked up the clock, and the dog snatche
d the cord and began tugging and growling again.
“It’s a game,” Ben said. “She’s playing with you.”
Shaking her head, Penny put the clock on the floor again, and Olive dropped the cord, looking disappointed. “She’s the craziest dog I’ve ever had.”
“Probably the only dog you’ve ever had,” Ben said. Penny turned, looking at him with lifted brows. “You were always a cat person,” he told her. “You put up with old Blue, but you always said it was only because he’d been living here longer than you. Said you’d rather have cats.”
Penny tilted her head. “That’s funny.”
“Why?”
She blinked and pushed the hair out of her eyes. “When I found her…I don’t know, I got the feeling I’d always wanted a dog.”
She was right. She had wanted one, but she’d refused when he’d wanted to bring her a puppy. Because she’d known she was dying. And she didn’t want a pet who would become too attached to her or dependent on her. So she’d stuck with arrogant barn cats who tended to hang around for a month or two and then move on to greener pastures.
“Anyway,” she went on, “now I’d rather have dogs.”
“I can see that.” And he thought that once she knew…once he told her, she might change her mind about keeping Ollie. And then she looked at the dog, and there was something so genuine in her eyes that it made his own burn.
She got to her feet and turned to glance at her reflection in the vanity mirror. “I’m different now, aren’t I?” she asked him.
He glanced at the towels and puddles on the bathroom floor. She used to be so tidy. But she obviously wasn’t anymore. And she used to like country music, soft and low. But that seemed to have changed, as well.
She used to love me, he thought vaguely. And then he closed the door on those thoughts. They’d do him no good now. “I haven’t been around you enough to tell for sure,” he said. “You might be a little different.”
“I’m a lot different.” She turned to face him, leaning her hips and hands back against the vanity. “Must be a real letdown to you.”
Long Gone Lonesome Blues Page 8
