by Saundra
However, at the same time I still felt like shit because I decided not to share with her the story about Squeeze and Charlene’s deaths. There was no way I could tell her I had killed them, too. She might start to think I’m a monster. Besides, she didn’t need to know that. As far as she or anyone else knew, Charlene and Squeeze were two missing people. Who needed to know different? Everyone knew that snakes always got what they deserved: the bottom of the boot.
Later that day, after Rochelle left, Hood returned home and wanted to play a game of dominoes. He was winning his fifth game when I got a call from Trina. She wasn’t feeling well and asked me to come by her house with a pregnancy test. According to her, she had been nauseated and she thought she might be pregnant. I was just glad to finally hear from her. She had not been to work in two days. She had called and left a message saying she would not be in for a couple of days. But after that we heard nothing else from her. Rochelle, Pam, and I had tried to reach her but only got her voicemail. I had even swung by her house the day before but got no answer. I was so worried I had made up my mind that if we didn’t hear from her by the next day I would contact the cops. Trina didn’t have any family in Detroit; they all lived in Alabama. So, basically, Rochelle and I were her family.
I told her to give me an hour or so and I would be by. I decided not to question her over the phone. After packing my mace in my Prada bag, I bounced out. I never knew if Teddy’s punk ass wanted to start tripping. ’Cause that fool was buck wild. I stopped through Walgreen’s and picked up an E.P.T. pregnancy test and headed over to Trina’s crib.
I knocked at least six times before she finally opened the door. She looked like shit. She had on a pair of old red cut-up Levi’s with a blue wifebeater and her hair was indescribable. It looked like half of her tracks were missing. Nothing on her was swollen, but to me she looked like she had had a fight and lost. I had never seen her look like this before, especially her clothes. I mean, I had seen her with black eyes, but not tore up from the floor up. But surprisingly, she wore a smile on her face. I on the other hand was horrified. This look had Teddy all over it.
I stood still at the door. I was in shock. I could not move. I just stared at her. “Mya, are you gone come in or what?” Trina held the door open with her left arm.
Without one word I reluctantly stepped into her apartment. I looked around and thought that everything seemed normal in the apartment. It was immaculate, just as always. Nothing was out of place. Then Teddy stepped around the corner. I wanted to spit on him just because, but I chilled.
“Hey, what’s up, Mya?” He spoke to me like we were friends. I had to bite my lip to keep from cussing his ass out. I could not stand him.
“Nothing,” I answered dryly. Then I turned my attention back to Trina. Who for odd reasons still wore that silly-ass smile. I rolled my eyes at her.
“What the hell you smiling so hard for?” I asked.
“Dang, why you in a bad mood?” Trina slammed the door shut and threw her right hand on her hip.
“Whatever, here.” I handed her the Walgreen’s bag.
“Good, you brought it. Thanks, Mya.”
“You a’ight?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m cool. Just been sick. Come on, let’s go back to my room.” She turned and started toward the hall, but stopped to talk with Teddy.
“Babe, you can go ahead and play your game. We gone be in the back.”
“A’ight,” Teddy replied, then looked at me.
“Yo, Mya, when Hood gone hook me up?” I could not believe his nerve. Whatever gave him the idea that Hood would fuck with him?
“Hook you up wit’ what? Teddy, I don’t know what you talkin’ about. You need to holla at Hood.”
“Awww, come on, Mya. Ask him when he gone put a nigga on. Shidd, we gotta eat over this way, too. A nigga straight, but I need to get my lady up out the hood. I wanna get her some of that fine shit like you got. Feel me?” This dude was stupid for real. What he needed to do if he wanted to help Trina was keep his damn hands to himself. And what nigga told a female to ask her man to hook him up? It was official in my book, Teddy was a low life.
“Like I said, Teddy, holla at Hood.” That was my final say on that. Now all I needed Teddy to do was exit stage left out of my damn face or his ass was gonna get maced. Trina saved him.
“Babe, stop badgering Mya. She came over to visit me.” Trina smiled and reached up and kissed Teddy on the cheek.
“Oh, my bad, Mya. I ain’t mean no harm. Y’all go ahead and do your thang.” Trina turned to walk away and Teddy patted her on the ass. I almost threw up in my mouth. Like I said, I did not like him at all. I knew his affection could turn into a black eye or busted lip later.
Once we were inside Trina’s room, she shut the door.
“I’m sorry about that, Mya. I don’t know why Teddy insists on embarrassing himself. Him and his pipe dreams of being a big dope pusher get on my damn nerves. I keep tellin’ him to just get a real job. But he won’t listen.” She hunched her shoulders.
“Girl, I ain’t thinkin’ about Teddy. I do wish he would not talk to me, though. He know I can’t stand him.”
“I know, right.” Trina laughed. “But thank you so much for bringing this over. I just need to know. I have been feeling like crap, throwing up and not sleeping well.”
“Well, just take the test. But what I really wanna know is why you ain’t been to work in two days?”
“I told you I been feelin’ bad.”
“Then why can’t you pick up the phone when we call? We all were blowing your phone up. I even came by yesterday and beat the door down. So where were you?”
“Oh, yesterday Teddy had to pick up Cynthia from Lansing for his mom. And I rode with him. We didn’t get back until last night.”
“Well, you should not worry people like that.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized.
“You sure you are okay? How has Teddy been treating you?” I still was not convinced. I had to be sure.
“Teddy has been really sweet. We haven’t been arguing or anything. These last couple of days we have been just spending quality time together. He is trying, Mya. We wanna get married and start a family one day.” Now that statement shocked me. I think I blinked twice. The thought of her marrying that monster frightened me. I knew controlling woman beaters didn’t change overnight, so I was sure Trina had been sipping on that stupid juice. Besides, had she looked in the mirror?
“Well, why do you look like this? Have you seen yourself? Because to be honest you look a hot mess.” I had to keep it real with her. Clearly all the mirrors in the apartment were covered. And I knew she didn’t go to Lansing looking like this. Something smelled fishy. But that smile was still planted on Trina’s face. I wanted to smack it off.
“Oh, this mess.” She looked down at her clothes then ran her fingers through her jacked-up weave . . . or what once had been her weave. I’m not sure how to describe it. She looked homeless for real. “Girl, I was so sick this morning I just threw this on. I had planned to do my own hair, but I started feeling so awful I just couldn’t.”
I pondered what she said and, to be honest, it did sound truthful. I guess being nauseated could change your appearance. Normally anything dealing with the stomach could throw anyone off their game. At that point I just decided to let it go. If she say she was happy, I had to believe her. Like the old saying goes, “If you like it, I love it.”
“All right. But next time you off, just answer when your friends call. We worry about you and just want to be sure you are okay, okay?”
“Awww, look at you being all mushy.” Trina reached over and hugged me. I laughed and hugged her back.
“Now get off me—you look diseased,” I joked and playfully pushed her off.
We talked for another hour before Trina finally built up the nerve to take the test. Besides, I was getting tired. I had had a long day. Confessing to Rochelle took a lot of emotional strength. I had played and lost in dominoes
with Hood. Then Trina dragged me out of the house to bring her the damn pregnancy test. It was late and I needed to get home and get some rest. The test revealed that Trina was not pregnant, which was shocking with all the symptoms she was having. But after Trina revealed that her and Teddy had eaten Coney dogs on the highway on their journey back from Lansing, we both chalked the throwing up to food poisoning or some twenty-four-hour bug. Satisfied with the conclusion and after rolling my eyes at Teddy, I jumped in my white Range Rover and balled out.
Chapter 19
“How are things at the salon?” Ma asked. We had been seated at a booth in the bar area at Red Lobster. Monica was taking a half day at school because she had an early appointment. So we decided that it would be a good day for the three of us to meet at one of our favorite eating spots.
“Everything’s straight. Business is good as usual. Our clientele is on point. All of my stylists are booked with loyal clients. At this point it is really hard for new people to get their foot in the door,” I was proud to say.
“That’s what’s up. I’m glad I got my spot secured,” Monica said with a grin. She got top benefit being my sister. I kept her hair tight and she rocked all the newest styles that high school chicks craved.
“No doubt. You know you good. You my baby sis, I can’t have you walking around with a nappy kitchen. Might ruin my own reputation, and I can’t have that.” We both grinned. “Speaking of which, Ma, when you gone let me get back in your kitchen? It’s time for you to give that ponytail up,” I joked, looking directly at Ma with a silly grin on my face. She had always been cautious about me getting in her head. Even now that I was licensed with my own shop, things had not changed. Marisa did not play when it came to her hair.
“For real, Mya, I am with you on that one. I get sick of that ponytail, too,” Monica threw in. We both had tried everything to get her to change her mind. She needed a hair makeover as soon as possible, but convincing her to do it was like pulling teeth with a string: damn near impossible.
“Look, both of you can lay off my hairdo. I got this.” She grabbed her ponytail and tossed it off her shoulder. After all these years, her hair still hung down her back. Normally she kept it across her neckline onto her shoulder. I had to admit, though, she rocked that ponytail. But it was just time for her to step it up. I could hook her up with that banger hairdo if she ever gave me the chance.
“Come on, Ma, dang, I have a license, for crying out loud. The state says I’m certified. You could trust me. I promise not to cut or burn too much off.” I laughed, knowing she would not cave until she was ready. She could be stubborn like that sometimes.
“Oh hell, no. I don’t like that sneaky look on your face. Forget it.” We all cracked up. The waitress approached our table to take our order. We all ordered lobster tails, steamed broccoli, Caesar salads, and Pepsis to drink. The waitress grabbed up our menus and excused herself.
“But okay, I will think about it. I’ll call you if I need an appointment. Sometimes I do get tired of washing all this.” She playfully rubbed her ponytail. “A couple of months back I thought about calling up Suzie. Remember, she did it for years?” She shrugged, then got quiet as the waitress delivered the drinks, salads, and a basket full of garlic cheese biscuits. Each one of us followed the basket with lustful eyes. We loved those damn biscuits.
“Damn, that was quick.” I watched the waitress as she walked away.
“I know, right,” Monica agreed. “But, oh well, my stomach is growling.” She reached for a biscuit and took a huge bite. Satisfaction was all over her face. Confirmation that the biscuit was the bomb.
For some reason, though, my mind wandered back to Ma’s last statement about Suzie. She had been Ma’s beautician for years before Dad had gone to prison. They were like friends. She went to Suzie every Friday, rain, sleet, or hailstorm, and Suzie kept her hair tight. I cannot recall one hairstyle that was not flawless. I had not thought about Suzie in years. But Ma bringing up her name suddenly made me think about her.
“So Ma, you say you almost called up Suzie. Why didn’t you?” I forked some Caesar salad into my mouth. The dressing was bomb! I let the taste marinate on my tongue.
Chewing the biscuit that was in her mouth, Ma looked at me, then Monica, and then swallowed hard. I could tell she was pondering what she was about to say. Before speaking, she took a sip of her drink. At this point I forked another round of salad and Monica took a swig of her drink. Finally, Ma sighed. “Apparently, your dad and Suzie were lovers for years,” she said with a matter-of-fact tone.
Pepsi flew out of Monica’s mouth onto the waitress’s smock as she approached our table with lobster and steamed broccoli in hand. The waitress almost dropped the huge tray but caught her balance. She was caught off guard. Her eyes stung with relief as she gripped the tray.
“I am so fucking sorry,” Monica apologized, clutching her napkin to wipe her mouth as Pepsi still dripped from her chin.
“It’s okay.” The waitress set each of our meals in front of us. “Can I get you all anything else?” The waitress was still being polite, even though I am sure she wanted to slap Monica in the face.
“No, we are fine,” I spoke up. As soon as she exited the table, I looked at Ma, but Monica spoke before me.
“Are you saying Dad was playing you?” Monica was no doubt shocked. She had always looked at my dad as perfect. See, I knew before my dad went to prison that he was in the drug game. Li’l Bo was aware of it as well. But Monica was the baby in the family. Her world was surreal. She had no clue. After Dad was arrested and sent off to jail, kids at her school filled her in with that chapter of our life. And she still didn’t come to terms with it until about two years ago. So here was another shocker about our dad landing in her lap. Her mouth was open wide enough to catch flies.
“Yep,” Ma answered with a smile. I could tell that she was over it. It was in her past and she had moved on.
“How did you find out?” I asked. To be honest, I was shocked, too. I never knew Dad stepped out on my mom. I guess it is easy to be blind and stupid when you are a kid.
“Well, after he was arrested I found out that her house was raided, too. They found a lot of his guns and drugs in her house. You know the rest, people started talking. I went to the jail livid and he admitted it to me. I was devastated for a while, but I got over it pretty quick. I mean, your dad was a baller. There were millions of bitches that wanted him. But those hoes respected me in the streets, and I never knew. He had them in check. I never had any drama when it came to other females. Your dad treated me like a queen and he put his family first, but he like most men: He was a hoe.” When she said that, it made me wonder about Hood. He was a baller with plenty of cash. I’m sure the hoes were after him, too, but he just better not let me find out, because I would cut a bitch quick about my man.
“So what did Suzie have to say? No, forget that, I know you beat her down.” I had to know. Hairstylist or not, she should have got it.
“Hell no, I didn’t beat her down.” She looked at me like I was crazy. “Shit, I never said anything to her about it. I know you think I’m stupid. But I was so caught up with your dad going to prison, I just kinda washed my hands of it. My main concern became how was I gonna take care of my kids. I’m sure your father told her that I knew.”
“So you just let her walk away like that? Forgive the slut that sleeps with your man while doing your hair?” I was tripping off that ’cause I would have beat that hoe down.
“Now I did not say I forgave her. Don’t get it twisted. But I don’t hate her, either. That shit was too long ago. Hell, it ain’t like she was the only one. What was I gone do, fight off all the groupies in Detroit?” She hunched her shoulders. I guess she had a point. “But when I thought about going to her to get my hair done, my feelings started rushing back and I said to myself, ‘Fuck that bitch. She ain’t gettin’ in my head.’ ”
Monica and I busted out laughing. “I know, right.” Monica held up her hand and slapp
ed five with Ma.
“Speaking of your dad, on my last visit to see him he told me that his lawyer had filed an appeal on his behalf trying to get his sentence reduced.”
“Wow, really?” I was too excited. Since he had been locked up, I had no thoughts of him being released because his convictions left no room for that. I wondered how possible it could be. “How long before he knows?”
“Well, they told him it could take up to a year before he can find out anything. The attorney said the process is long.”
I looked over at Monica. She had tears welling up in her eyes. She was sensitive when it came to discussing him being locked away. Visits with him down at the prison were so emotionally hard for her. She struggled daily with his incarceration.
“What’s wrong, Monica?” I fought not to soften. I wanted to stay strong and hopeful.
“Nothing,” she sniffled. “I just never thought it would be any chance Daddy would ever be released.” She picked up another clean napkin and wiped at her tears. “This just gives me hope. When Li’l Bo died, I thought we had lost the last man of our family.” I wrestled back the tears.
“I know what you mean. I have been thinking a lot about Li’l Bo,” Ma confessed, out of the blue. Her face suddenly flooded with tears. Her pain made my heart drop and my throat tighten. I took a swig from my drink. Both of their open emotions were wearing on me. This was supposed to be a happy lunch. It was quickly turning into a lunch of tears.
“Ma, are you okay? Why haven’t you said anything? You know you can always talk to Monica or me about anything. Especially this. We are your open ears.”
“I know. I just didn’t want to worry you two with this. But my heart has been so heavy.” All of a sudden she let out a gut-wrenching cry that she quickly tried to control. Monica and I looked at each other, our faces wet with tears. We had no idea our mother was in pain. How had we missed her signs? The answer was clear: We both were wrapped up in our own shit when she needed us. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Monica reached across the table to hold both of Ma’s hands in hers.
