“Hey, if you expect me to tell you to turn the man down, you’re talking to the wrong woman.”
“Sami.”
“Okay, okay, let me refocus.” Samantha took a deep breath, released it slowly and then turned toward Dani. “Cole proposed. Exactly what did he say? I take it this wasn’t another fake proposal like he’s done before?”
“No.” How Dani wished he’d been playing. She’d hated the hurt on his face as he left her house last night. “He said I was special, that he loved me and we should give Faith her wish and get married.”
“Hmm.” Samantha pursed her lips. “Not the most romantic proposal, but including Faith shows he accepts she’s part of the package. Was he at least down on one knee?”
“No, he was naked on my couch.” Hearing the words escape, Dani quickly glanced around to make sure no kids were listening. She got a wink from a grandmother on the next bench over and her cheeks heated.
“Even better.”
“Sami, be serious. I don’t want to hurt Cole, but I don’t want to get hurt either. I was feeling so adventurous to start a fling with him. I’m not sure I’m ready for more.”
“Dani.” Samantha patted Dani’s knee, offering warmth and comfort. “I know how hard losing Kevin was for you. And I know your fear of loss goes deeper than that. You told me once that as a foster child you couldn’t allow yourself to care about a new family because it hurt too much when you had to move on again. When you lost Kevin, you went back to that place.”
Emotion swelled up in Dani’s throat. Unable to speak, she simply nodded.
“Let me ask you a question. Do you regret the time you had with Kevin? Knowing the pain you’d suffer, would you change what you had with him?”
Oh, God, she covered her face with her hands. Her first instinct said yes, protect the heart. But that was totally defensive thinking. She spread her fingers to watch Faith seated next to Gabe in the little train, and knew she could never regret the union that brought her her baby. More, Dani had been happy with Kevin. She’d had her own home, her child, her man. Final answer, she couldn’t regret her time with Kevin, not for her sake and not for Faith’s.
She shook her head. “No. I loved my time with Kevin.”
“I know you did,” Samantha said softly. “And that’s what you need to hold on to. The good is worth the bad. Next question, do you love Cole?”
Dani shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s so fast. And I’ve worried about how Faith will react to a relationship between us. What if it doesn’t work out? Then I’ve hurt her, too.”
“Stop.” Holding up her hand, Samantha halted Dani’s downward spiral. “Don’t tell me what you think, tell me what you feel. What does your heart say?”
Her heart betrayed her. Her heart wanted Cole’s arms around her; it wanted the laughter he brought to her home, and his help with Faith in the midst of a party. Her heart admired his loyalty, his vulnerability, and his love of the land and all things organic. Most of all her heart wanted to belong to him.
But she couldn’t just say it. Couldn’t just leap into love.
When she didn’t answer, Samantha squeezed her hand. “Trust your heart, Dani. I did, and I’ve never looked back.”
Dani shook her head. Because for every beat of her heart urging her to take a chance on love, her head pleaded with her to be cautious, to save them all from future pain.
“I can’t deny Cole has pestered his way into my heart, but I can’t trust my heart to keep me safe, to keep Faith safe. It’s one thing not to regret having found and lost a loved one, and a whole other thing to welcome that pain back into your life when you’re finally beginning to function again.”
“But don’t you understand, Dani, it’s the risks that allow you to function. The one good thing about you running for mayor was it gave you a purpose beyond Faith to focus on. Since Kevin died, everything in your life is about providing for her—even your shop. The campaign was a risk but it brought you new friends, new drive, new life. Don’t lose that forward momentum because you’re afraid to take a chance.”
Dani bit her tongue. Yes, her motives for running for mayor were to save her shop and to push herself beyond her comfort zone. And she was proud of her accomplishments. But had she grown enough to take this risk?
“Mama! Mama! Look at me,” Faith called from the train. Dani smiled and waved. Next to her, Samantha did the same. The kids giggled. So happy, so carefree.
“I’m scared, Sami. What I feel for Cole is so much more intense than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone else. Kevin was comfortable—we meshed and never argued. We were friends first, and then lovers.”
“And with Cole?”
“Cole comes across as mellow and charming.” A smile tugged at the corner of Dani’s mouth. “But he’s a live wire. And, oh, God, he lights me up. He’s so funny, so unpredictable. I never know what he’s going to say. What he’s going to do. Which drives me nuts, but it also makes me laugh.
“We’re comfortable with each other, too. And we worked so well together on your brunch. He adores Faith. And, oh, mama, he’s so hot.”
“Sounds like you’re in love.”
Dani nodded. “And that’s what scares me.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“YOU ASKED HER to marry you?” Alex pushed his two-year-old on the swing set in his backyard.
“Yes.” Cole shifted baby Jake against his shoulder to shield some of the pain of rejection from his brother. “And was royally dissed.”
“At which point you took off?”
“Hey, not wanted, not staying.”
“So she told you to hit the road.”
“Not in so many words, but I got the message.”
Reacting to the tension in Cole’s voice, Jake stiffened his arms and pushed against Cole’s shoulder. “Shh,” he murmured to the baby, patting his back.
“Higher, Daddy,” Seth demanded.
“What were her exact words?” Alex pushed harder while keeping a sharp eye on his son.
“She said she cared but needed time.” The words came out hoarse, squeezed through the constriction in Cole’s throat. He had bared his heart to her and the best she could give him was caring? Hell, you cared about your assistant, your neighbor, the postman. A lover warranted more than caring.
Didn’t he?
Cole paced to the sandbox and back, admitting to himself it never had before.
“So you’ve been dating each other for a month? Two months? And you were pretty sure of her feelings—”
“I’m not sure you can classify any of our outings as actual dates.”
Alex sent him a quick glance. “What about the kiss in church? You weren’t seeing her then?”
“Not exactly. What?” He shrugged off his brother’s censure. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“In front of Gram?”
Yeah, that hadn’t gone over so good.
“Maybe I was subconsciously staking my claim. She’s had me twisted up since the dinner where you asked us to be Jake’s godparents.”
“But you’re sure she has feelings for you?”
“Yes. She would never have let me in her bed if she didn’t love me. She just doesn’t trust herself.”
Alex stopped pushing Seth to stare at Cole in disgust. “You’re nuts.”
“Hey!”
“What do you expect?” Alex shook his head. “Even I can see Dani’s been struggling with decisions, second-guessing herself a lot since she lost Kevin. Being a single parent isn’t easy. I can tell you when I had Gabe on my own, I was a basket case, and that was only for a few days.”
“She knows I love Faith,” Cole protested.
“You’re not getting it. Marriage is a big decision. Most people would consider it important and want to give it serious consideration. Dani isn’t most people. You’re just used to women falling at your feet, so you expected Dani to do the same.”
“Okay, I get it.” Got that he’d been a jerk.
“Do you? She lost someone she loved in an unexpected, violent act. That’s a lot to recover from. She asked for time, I wouldn’t call that a rejection.”
“No?” He couldn’t keep pain or hope from the word.
“No. I think you should slow down and give her the time she’s asked for. And don’t forget, the two of you are babysitting for us next weekend. You’ll have two days to woo her.”
Damn, everything Alex said rang true. Cole should have known better. Sure he’d been hurt when she didn’t immediately declare her love, especially as he knew her feelings were there.
Of course Dani needed time to consider his proposal.
He had to have surprised her, because, hell, he’d surprised himself.
What scared him, absolutely terrified him, was that she might let her fears steal their future from them.
“Yeah, I have that to look forward to, two days of heaven or hell.”
“Mama, are you going to stay at Aunt Sami’s, too?” An excited Faith bounced on Dani’s bed.
“Yes. I’m going to watch the boys while Sami and Alex go away for the weekend.” Dani turned from her bureau in time to catch her overnight bag before it fell off the bed. “Hey, missy, stop that bouncing.”
“Sorry, Mommy.” Faith sat down on Dani’s pillow. “I’m excited to stay at Gabe and Seth’s.”
“Yes, you are.” Love flooded Dani and she smiled fondly at her daughter. “Did you pack your pajamas?”
Faith rocked back and forth on the pillow. “Yep. And my slippers. And Mr. Snuggle.”
“Good girl.”
“Gabe said Cole is staying with us, too. Will he be sleeping with you?”
The question threw Dani, partly because of the memories of being in his arms but mostly because of the source of the question.
“Cole is supposed to be spending the weekend with us. But no, we won’t be sleeping together.”
“Aunt Sami and Uncle Alex sleep together.”
“Yes, but they’re married.”
“If you married Cole, you could sleep with him. Then you wouldn’t have to sleep alone.”
And there it was. Her little girl had a one-track mind. And the persistence of a bulldog.
Dani knew if she made a big deal of the question, Faith would make more of it than Dani had the heart to deal with. She ignored the Cole part of the equation. She’d assured Samantha she could handle the boys on her own and Samantha could let Cole off the hook for the weekend, but Samantha said Alex insisted he’d feel better knowing Cole was there to help.
Dani thought she might hear from him, but he hadn’t called her all week, except to leave a message on her home phone last night. He was taking Samantha to the airport Friday morning and the boys would be at Gram’s, who had invited them for a stew dinner. He’d see her there when she got off work.
His lack of inflection was so unlike Cole. It hurt her to think of him hurting. But she didn’t know if she had the strength to fix things.
“I won’t be alone.” Dani tickled Faith’s toes, making her giggle. “I’ll have you and Mr. Snuggles for company.”
Faith’s eyes got big. “No, Mommy. I want to sleep in Gabe’s room.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Actually she was pretty sure nobody would get much sleep with that arrangement.
“Uh-huh. It’s a really good idea.”
Dani zipped up her bag. “We’ll see. Go put your shoes on, we’re ready to go.”
Gram had made a wonderful stew, both warm and hearty on a cold November night. But best of all, her company over dinner helped to smooth over the awkwardness between Dani and Cole.
He was polite but distant, giving his attention to the kids, making them laugh when he got down on the floor to play.
Dani feared Gram might express her displeasure over Dani and Cole’s aloofness with each other, but the older woman kept her peace.
All too soon the meal ended and they loaded the kids into the vehicles to head for Samantha’s. Once there Cole carried Dani’s and Faith’s bags up to the master bedroom.
She was still removing coats and jackets when he came back down.
“Can we watch a movie, Cole?” Gabe yanked on Cole’s hand. “Please.”
“Yes. A movie.” Faith hopped up and down. “Tinkerbell,” she demanded.
Gabe shook his head “Transformers.”
Dani looked between the two. “If you can’t agree—”
“Transformers.”
“Tinkerbell.”
The kids switched their choices at the same time. Dani and Cole exchanged glances.
“Since Faith is your guest, how about we watch Tinkerbell tonight?” Cole rubbed Gabe’s head. “And tomorrow night we can watch Transformers.”
“Okay.” Gabe smiled up at his uncle. “Come on, Faith, let’s get the DVD. It’s in my room.”
The kids ran off and Dani nodded at Cole. “Well done.”
“Thanks.” He shrugged dismissively, but his eyes didn’t meet hers. “Do you need help with Jake?”
She needed help with Cole, needed to find a way back to where they’d been. Why couldn’t life just have stayed still for a little while?
“No, but you can take Seth to the bathroom and get him changed into pajamas.”
“Sure.”
“In fact, let’s get all the kids into their pajamas before the movie.”
“Good idea. Baths tonight or tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow. Gram told me the boys were making mud pies earlier so she already gave them a bath. Faith can skip tonight. I’m hoping they’ll fall asleep before the movie is over.” As soon as the words left her lips, she saw the night looming large in front of them, and once the kids were in bed it would be just the two of them.
What would they do then? Sensual images immediately came to mind. She sighed. No, they wouldn’t be doing that.
“Right. I’ll take the older boys and meet you back here.”
The evening went better than she anticipated. While Tinkerbell flittered across the screen, Cole worked at the kitchen table, a part of the group but separate. The kids lasted longer than she expected, so she was able to say good-night to Cole after they carried the kids upstairs to bed.
She lay awake for a long time thinking about how it had felt to be a family with Cole today. He’d been stilted, but his presence and masculinity were as strong as ever, making her feel safe and very much a woman. How different this weekend would be if his proposal didn’t stand between them. It was that picture of what could be that haunted her dreams.
The next morning Dani walked into the kitchen to find Cole had breakfast well under control. They’d decided he would do the early meal and she’d make lunch and each would clean up for the other. Dinner they’d do together.
The kids sat at the island counter, Jake in his high chair near where Cole worked.
“Pancakes,” he announced with the first true smile she’d seen all weekend.
Her knees went weak. “Someone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning.”
He walked around the island, cupped the back of her head in one hand and kissed her hard. When he lifted his head, he sighed. Satisfaction and relief were in the sound and his relaxed posture.
Behind her, the kids giggled and made kissing sounds.
“Wow.” She cleared her throat. “Where did that come from?”
“Sorry.” He wandered back around the island and picked up the spatula. “I needed that. Do you want syrup or strawberries?”
“I want an answer.”
Cole’s gaze swept over the row of little ears gathered around the island. Figuring that was her answer, she sighed. He was right. Wrong time, wrong place.
But he surprised her.
The next thing she knew, he stood beside her, his gaze heated. “I can’t be near you and not want you, Dani. So I’m not going to try anymore.” His words were a whispered promise in her ear. “I want you in my life. I’m not going to pretend otherwise any longer.” He returned
to the stove and, with a quick flip of his wrist, turned the pancakes. “I’ll give you as much space as I can. So take your time, but I’m not giving up.”
Dani slid onto the stool next to Faith. Snagging a strawberry, Dani pretended she wasn’t overwhelmed. Gone were the evasions and distance. She was almost disappointed. If he forced the issue, she’d be off the hook.
But no, he was allowing her to work it out for herself.
“Strawberries, please.”
The kids played inside and watched cartoons in the morning, but after lunch everyone moved outside. While they kept an eye on the children, Cole used the time to finish the plans for a landscape project. He sat at the patio table while Dani sat reading in a lounger a short distance away.
She wore a light sweater in leaf-green with black jeans, and the autumn air brought a flush to her cheeks. The book in her lap was a mystery by a popular author and obviously funny, because she kept laughing out loud. The happy sound drew his gaze to her lovely profile each time.
“Mommy, push me,” Faith called out.
Dani set her book aside and crossed to the swing set. All three of the kids demanded her attention and she gave it freely, pushing one and then the next until all were laughing as they flew through the air.
Cole never tired of watching her, especially with the boys and Faith. She had such patience and love for them and it showed in the little things she did. She had so much to offer, so much love to give; why couldn’t she see it?
This morning he’d lost it. Still, he didn’t regret kissing her. He wanted to give her time, but contrary to popular opinion he wasn’t so laid-back he didn’t fight for what he wanted. For Dani he was trying, but he’d needed something to sustain him.
Spending time with her here, in a family situation, was both heaven and hell, a snapshot of what their life together could be—if Dani chose to take a chance rather than give in to fear.
Make no mistake; having no power in how this worked out was killing him. So when his cell rang around two-thirty and he got called to handle a delivery problem at the nursery, he jumped at the chance of escaping for a few minutes.
Sparks Fly with Mr. Mayor Page 12
