The duchess’s attention moved on to Moira, much to Kitty’s relief. “Lady Moira, where has your father been these many years? I can’t remember the last time we saw him or your grandfather in town.”
“That has been my argument for years, your grace,” her friend answered, thankfully freeing Kitty from the conversation. “I have been trying, to no avail but, thankfully, they have agreed to allow Lady Glenrothes to sponsor me in the Season, first here and then in London next spring.”
“You could not ask for a better sponsor,” the duchess nodded, as her gaze strayed back to Kitty but for only a moment. “But a Season, Lady Moira? Why haven’t you married as yet? You must be…how old now?”
Moira’s mouth opened, and closed with a snap, drawing Abby back to the fore as she made their excuses, insisting that they must make their way to their box. “Well, that was…”
“Uncomfortable,” Kitty ended.
“Rude,” Moira insisted. “I know age and rank allow for much, but really!” she huffed, as they entered their box through its red velvet curtains. Richard took their wraps and handed them off to the waiting bewigged footman while they stood in the rear of the box, socializing with one another and visitors who stopped by.
The other MacKintosh siblings from the previous evening arrived then, adding to the hubbub in the box, and it was several minutes before everyone managed to settle in for the upcoming performance. A footman helped seat the ladies at the front of the box and offered opera glasses. Seated between Moira and Fiona, Kitty chatted amicably with them while sipping lightly on the champagne that yet another footman offered them.
Like Moira, this opera was a first for Fiona MacKintosh, Francis’ youngest sibling, who at seventeen was not even officially out in Society yet. She was a lovely girl with dark hair and changeable olive green eyes, similar to her eldest brother’s but, with ten older brothers, clearly the girl had grown up without anyone tempering her words.
“What a riotous mess!” she exclaimed as she leaned over the edge of the balcony.
“Don’t hang too far over the edge, Blossom,” her brother Connor chided. “If you fall into that crowd you’ll never make it out alive!”
“Clearly not the Met,” was Kitty’s dry response to the appreciative whistles and catcalls that welled from the crowd below, doubling in intensity when Moira joined Fiona in peering over the edge of their box to take in the mass of people below.
Unlike the Metropolitan Opera house where every seat went to the highest bidder, this theater still maintained the concept of a pit on the main floor. The noise, therefore, that rose up to them on the second level of boxes was still voluminous and relayed animation more appropriate to a bullfight than to a opera, in Kitty’s mind. She wondered if they would settle in once the performance began or if the cacophony were to be the norm through the night.
“It’s so exciting!” Fiona beamed, as she and Moira, who seemed to share the same unbridled enthusiasm for the event, took up their opera glasses to scan the theater.
As Moira looked about through her glasses, she shared Kitty’s speculations aloud while Abby laughed with her over the antics below. Their comments turned to the costumes of those in attendance this evening as they critiqued the gowns and headwear the ladies had on display. Fiona seemed to have no problem pointing out the worst of them. “Gads, do you see that horrid display of ostrich feathers on that old biddy Lady Argyle over there? She must have plucked the whole damned bird!” or “Speaking of birds, have you ever seen such plumage as that one over there?”
Biting back a chuckle of amusement, Kitty turned to the boxes Fiona so rudely pointed out while Abby tried to instill some semblance of manners into the girl. She would certainly have her hands full preparing the youngest MacKintosh to make her curtsey to Society. Or would it soon be Eve’s duty to try to curb the girl’s thoughtless tongue? Kitty smiled to herself, trying to picture that battle.
As she scanned the theater, some heads turned in their direction and she saw many ladies and gentleman in attendance acknowledging her with a nod or wave. Uncertain how to respond, she just nodded coolly, as she thought Eve might, in return and moved her gaze on. In one of the lower boxes, a bevy of brightly clad ladies leaned over the edge of their box, displaying their cleavage to any who cared to look, whistling and calling to men on the floor.
Demimonde, Kitty supposed with a shrug, looking for their next protector or such. Hopefully, Fiona wouldn’t catch sight of them for if she did, who knew what might escape her unbridled tongue. One would never see such a display in New York, of course. The Knickerbocker set was much too uptight to allow such a base display in their theater.
She sniffed and was about to look away when she caught sight of Jack in their box. She raised her glasses inquisitively. Though he was in the shadows toward the rear, nearly out of her view, she could clearly see him talking to a stunning brunette who touched his arms and shoulders constantly as they spoke. Jack didn’t seem to mind her attentions at all. Indeed, he bent and whispered something in the woman’s ear, setting her off on a wild peal of laughter before she pulled him down and kissed him passionately, her open mouth visible even from this distance.
“Oh look!” Fiona cried, noticing as well. “There’s Haddington over there. Gads! And you all say my behavior is inappropriate for a public venue! Do you think that woman is a courtesan?”
Kitty nearly choked in shock at the girl’s inappropriate comment and dropped the glasses with a shudder, looking away. The sight brought her to the verge of physical illness but she chastised herself vehemently against the antagonism that flooded her. It should not matter to her whether Jack kissed every woman in that box. He was naught but a new friend, an acquaintance really, despite their too intimate conversation. Despite their too brief kiss. He was an incorrigible flirt. An inveterate rogue. She was well aware of that. He was like that with her and Moira alike. Why would he be any different with others? Still, it shouldn’t matter. It didn’t matter, she insisted to herself, trying to squash her irritation. She was a married woman after all, and hardly the type to have an affair even if Haddington was a most available bachelor.
Groaning into her program, Kitty mentally kicked herself, calling herself a liar. It did matter. She did care. She didn’t know how or why but she just wanted to leap across the theater and slap the woman silly for touching her man.
My God! She had gone completely mad!
By the time the lights came up for the first intermission, Kitty had called herself ten times a fool over her jealous thoughts about Jack and his apparent mistresses, for she knew that is what it was. Jealousy. The problem was, despite her relationship with Freddie, and contrary to the impulsive flinching when a man raised a hand to her, Kitty didn’t believe that all men were abusers and beaters of women. Her father was an excellent example. In a time when it was a man’s right under law to chastise his wife as he saw fit, Lelan Preston never raised a hand against his wife…or his children. Oh, sure he raised his voice, loud and often, but he was Irish after all and possessed of all the temper that went with it. But never a hand.
Kitty doubted that either Richard or Francis were that type either. Indeed, if Francis hadn’t beaten his ex-wife for her indiscretions, as many as they were, it just wasn’t in him to do it at all. She had seen loving relationships enough to know that her marriage wasn’t the norm.
So, despite it all, men in general still held a general appeal to Kitty and unfortunately Jack Merrill held the strongest one she had ever known. He captured her interest, heart and mind, not only with his good looks but also with his clever conversation, humor and caring. Somehow, she knew he would be appalled to be considered a compassionate person by anyone, but there it was. She had never imagined a man who might offer such comfort as he had done for her that afternoon, one who challenged her intellectually as well. His charms were devastatingly undeniable.
That was a problem. Especially to a woman such as herself.
The entire first part of th
e opera had gone by unnoticed, but for the hum of amusement and bursts of laughter around her, as she tried to determine what course to take against the temptation he represented…or for it. She didn’t want to turn him away. He was entertaining company, witty and intelligent. His handsome face and broad shoulders were enough to make any woman shiver with desire or basic lust. Jack had offered his friendship as well and she was glad for it. Being in his company made her feel alive in ways she had never imagined. He made her forget her problems and tempted her in ways unspeakable.
There lay the bigger part of the temptation. While having an affair of the heart, a flirtation, was all well and good, Kitty could not imagine taking that flirtation to the next level while she was still bound to Freddie. As much as she hated him, he was her husband and adultery simply wasn’t part of her moral constitution. However, she had seen in Jack’s eyes that friendship wasn’t all he was offering. It was in that fragile kiss. In those molten eyes. No, he wanted her as a man wants a woman, she was certain of it. He desired her body and wanted her in his bed. His seduction – oh, he might try to deny it – was subtle, skilled and very effective. She had been aware of it from the moment they met but hadn’t been able to fight it. For God help her, she wanted to be in his bed.
How long might he pursue her in that oh-so subtle seduction before moving on to more promising pastures? She eyed the groups of willing women across the gallery. Not long, she supposed, when it was apparently so easy for him to find another lover. He wasn’t going to tag along after her for any protracted length of time. He would move on to more promising pastures. She knew the target was of little importance to him. From all that Abby had ever written, one woman was much like another to Jack Merrill.
Ugh! She didn’t want that to be true! She wanted to be unique to him. Irreplaceable, not just an easily exchangeable body. Kitty wanted his seduction of her to be focused on her because he wanted her individual person. Kitty Hayes, specifically. Just the thought of him bedding another woman to satisfy his general lust was enough to set her blood boiling and teeth grinding.
Well, if he wasn’t patient enough to wait then she needed nothing to do with him, she decided. If he couldn’t be patient then so be it! Let him shag whom he wanted. Let him vent his generic lust on whatever body was available! Once her marriage was dissolved, there would be any number of men available for her to take for a lover if she wanted. She would find one who desired only her. Who could only be satisfied by her! It needn’t be him at all!
The lights came up for the intermission and Kitty blinked in surprise against the sudden change in atmosphere. She sat, stunned by her raging thoughts, as the other ladies stood to greet and mingle with the visitors arriving at their box, including the Earl of Haddington, who had finally chosen to make an appearance. Consumed by her new resolve, Kitty determined to give him the cold shoulder and let him see that she cared little for his amorous thoughts and bevy of lovers.
She turned away from him as he smiled hesitantly across the box while Fiona chatted his ear off with her impressions of Captain Billy. It seemed Jack only spared the girl a brief moment of attention for, within minutes, he was pulling a chair close to Kitty’s side and waiting for her to acknowledge him. Stubbornly, she stared unseeing over the crowd, willing him to go away.
What is going on here? Jack wondered when she only passed him a cool glance and turned her head away. He’d had a surprisingly pleasant afternoon with her and her daughter today. He had driven her to her confession, true, but knowing what he did of her didn’t feel that she would hold that against him. Indeed, he rather thought she would feel the need to apologize for dismissing him so abruptly. It was her way. More likely she was embarrassed to have confessed so much to him, but surely she understood he cared about her.
Surprising in that after a few days’ acquaintance he wanted only more of her company rather than less of it. Granted, she was a stunning lass and he was intensely attracted to her, but that wasn’t all. She was merry, quick to smile, despite all that she had been served at the hands of her husband. Her agile mind kept his attention focused as much as her lush body kept his blood hot with want.
Damn, but he liked the lass, he admitted to himself once more. It was a rare thing, this actual liking of a female, but he did. And he had thought she liked him as well, but this cold shoulder she was giving him was more akin to Evelyn than to Kitty. Ah, that was probably it! Eve had decided to come along and left Kitty at home. “Uh, Evelyn?”
She turned and leveled him with a frigid look. “No, you dolt. Can’t you tell us apart by now?”
Jack was a bit taken aback by her cold tone. “I thought I could. My apologies, Kitty, I did think it was you, but when I wasn’t greeted with your customary smile, I assumed I must be mistaken.” When she offered nothing further, Jack reached out once more, trying to break the mysterious ice that surrounded her. “Are you enjoying the opera, lass?”
“Were it not for your presence here, I’m sure I would be having a grand time,” she snapped in annoyance. That much was true anyway. Kitty loved the opera and had missed the whole of Captain Billy because of her overwhelming awareness of him, whom he was with and what he had been doing. That alone was enough to take her irritation to the next level.
Confused, Jack plowed on smoothly, “I am having a grand time simply being in your presence, my love.”
“Why don’t you just go away?” she hissed without looking at him.
Jack’s confusion cleared as quickly as a spring rain and he laughed aloud throwing back his head, unaware of the heads that turned to watch their interplay. “Oh, lass! I see what you are doing! You are your sister this evening so of course you treat me with disdain as is Evelyn’s habit! She likes me on the inside though, you do know that?”
“My current disdain for you has nothing to do with my sister, it has to do with you.” She gathered her anger about her, lest his charm and humor chisel through the irritation that had built over the last hour. She wouldn’t be the girl making a cake of herself for whatever crumbs of attention he might cast her way! No, he had spent the entire first part of the opera over there rather than with her and that told her clearly how much she mattered to his fickle attentions.
“You’re upset about this afternoon? I did not mean to distress you.”
“I do not need or desire your company, Jack.”
“Then leave,” he snapped back, her prickly demeanor finally getting the best of him.
“Fine,” she bit out, and rose gracefully to her feet, gathering her reticule while her party looked on curiously, though they nodded when she told them she just needed a moment of privacy. Moira offered to accompany her, but Kitty shook her head since the curtain was coming up for the main performance, their visitors departing now as the lights dimmed.
“Are you all right, Kitty?” Abby asked with some concern as Kitty made her way to the back of the box where Abby lingered on Richard’s arm.
“I’m fine, Abby,” she assured her softly. “I just need a moment.”
Leaving her friend behind, Kitty ducked by the heavy curtains at the back of the box. The hall was now nearly empty. With a heavy sigh, she leaned back against the wall next to the door and pressed her palms against the wall while trying to calm the turmoil of emotions churning inside of her.
Damn, Jack Merrill! How was she to avoid him when he knew nothing of her inner struggles? When he couldn’t comprehend how she was vacillating between wanting his friendship and wanting him in her bed? When she was so struck by jealousy she couldn’t even see straight? He knew nothing about it! He hadn’t changed a thing regarding his behavior to her and yet she snapped his head clean off because of her own issues and uncertainties! It was most unlike her! She needed to get away and clear her head.
“What was that all about?” Jack growled as he came into the hallway as well, closing the door to the box firmly behind him. She should have known that he would be unable to just let her leave even when he had told her to. “You don’t d
esire my presence now? My attentions? What am I now, my love? Just a bloody shoulder to cry on?”
That was enough to set Kitty’s blood back up to boiling point as she gawked at him in disbelief. “I didn’t ask for any of that, Jack Merrill! You came into my home and prodded me into confessing secrets I haven’t even told my own sister! I didn’t ask you for that! I humiliated myself by bawling all over you!” She poked his chest, pointedly. “Then you stroll in here, straight from your latest conquest, as if nothing is at all amiss. You might have my secrets, but you don’t know me at all, my love.” These last words were sarcastically drawled as she poked him once more. “You might think that every woman you meet is just dying of love for you, Jack Merrill, but I am not!”
“Do you truly believe…” he began in astonishment, only to be cut off.
“Yes, I believe you try to seduce every woman you meet!” she finished loudly, causing heads down the hall to turn in their direction. “Just as you are trying to seduce me!”
Jack crossed his arms over his wide chest and stared down at her flushed, bonny face. Ah, what a lass this was! How she set him on fire with wanting. He longed for the day when he might take her in his arms and possess her luscious body. “Aye, fine! I’ll admit it, but I seem to be doing a damned poor job of it.”
“So very poor, you’d be a fool to continue!” Kitty hissed back at him hotly. “So just turn your attentions elsewhere and leave me alone! That shouldn’t be too difficult for you!”
Jack stared down at her in disbelief, not understanding her irrational anger or what he had done to have it directed at him, but he’d be damned if he hung about after such a curt dismissal! He might be used to calling the shots with his conquests, but he didn’t tread where he wasn’t invited. He was a man, not some bloody hound to trail pitifully after her. He had his pride! “You want me to leave you alone? Fine,” he ground out angrily, ire and desire warring inside of him as his blood boiled, “I’ll not bother you any longer, but only if you can deny this.”
Questions for a Highlander Page 68
