Ash could imagine curling up with her at night, her head resting on his shoulder as they talked about their day. Then when another migraine struck, she would push her fingers into his hair and speak soothing words. More than anything he longed for that. He glanced down at the creases in her brow and her trembling lip. The need to protect her was fierce. Stronger than anything he’d known. There was no denying it at this point. He wanted to protect her for a lifetime. But what should he do about it?
Nothing until they could prove Newton was the killer. Maybe even nothing after that. Aside from their kisses, she’d given no hint she had feelings for him.
By the time he’d made his way up to the house, his breaths came fast and hard. Lila whimpered with each step. The initial fear for her had drained away, and he was left feeling a little weak. The sting wasn’t life-threatening and for that he was grateful. To lose Lila would kill him, he was certain of that.
He took her into the house and up to her bedroom. Once he’d laid her out on the bed, he pushed the hair back from her face and looked into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes clouded with pain tore at his gut.
“Lila, I am going to get you something for the pain. I will not be gone long, I swear.”
“Do not leave me.”
“I will be as fast as I can, I promise.”
Ash moved quickly down to the kitchens and searched the cupboards. No laudanum but some decent brandy, so that would have to do. He snatched up a glass and stalked upstairs. She remained in the same position he’d left her, gripping the bedsheets while tears trickled down her cheeks. She swiped her nose and looked at him mournfully.
“Here.” He poured her a large glass of brandy. “This will help.”
She eyed the glass doubtfully. “I don’t normally drink liquor.”
“Then it will certainly help.” He offered it again.
Lila took the drink and had a tentative sip. Her nose wrinkled but under his watchful eye, she drained it. She blinked a few times and passed the empty glass to him. “My body feels warmer already.”
“Good.” He glanced over her sand-encrusted dress and grimaced to himself. This would be utter torture. “You cannot stay in that dress.”
Colour rose in her cheeks. “Oh.”
“May I...?”
She nodded. “I can’t move my leg. I think I need your help.”
“Brave girl.”
Trust Lila to be so practical. Any other woman would be shying away and telling him he dare not touch her, but they had little choice and he couldn’t leave her in damp clothes.
He hitched her skirts and fought any reaction to seeing her long legs under those petticoats. He was no stranger to unbuttoning dresses so he had it off fairly quickly. He set to work on her petticoats. Molten desire flowed quickly through him at the sight of her in just a corset and drawers. He wanted to remove them too. They now sat high on her thighs, pushed up above the sting, but he wasn’t sure how to do so and preserve her modesty. Her corset, however, needed to go.
Ash sat beside her and eased her to sitting. Arms wrapped about her, he worked on the laces. She rested her head on his shoulder, accepting his help. He swallowed hard. It would be so easy to strip her bare now. Her breasts would be free against the cotton of her chemise in a mere moment. Only a slip of fabric separated him from touching her properly, maybe even bringing her enough pleasure to help her forget the pain.
He clenched his jaw and drew in a weighted breath. This wasn’t about his desires. From the moment he’d met Lila it had been all about her. Her safety, her welfare. He’d die for this woman. So he would easily forget his needs to care for her.
Flinging away the corset in a way that had her giggling slightly, he eased her back down and couldn’t resist pressing another kiss to her head. He poured one more generous helping of brandy and had her drink it. She slumped back, her body weighted by the alcohol and gave him a sleepy look.
“How is the pain?”
“I-it still hurts, I think.” She yawned. “My head is fuzzy.”
“If you can sleep, you should. Hopefully when you awaken the pain will have eased.”
Lila nodded slowly and sighed. He shifted but her hand snatched out and grabbed his wrist. “Do not leave me.”
His throat worked. “Of course.”
Ash drew up the sheets around her, carefully avoiding her leg. And trying to avoid looking at her. With the exception of the angry red mark on her thigh, they were perfection. Long, elegant. It was far too easy to picture them wrapped about his hips. He felt a heel for thinking such things while she was in pain but, well, he was just a man after all.
She tugged his arm—a gentle command. Ash lay down next to her and found himself surrounded by woman. She curled into him, her breaths blowing softly against his neck. Every part of him was on alert, but she seemed to have instantly relaxed. Her injured leg wrapped about his own and if he looked down he could see the curve of her rear peeking out from underneath the lifted hem of her drawers.
Of course, he wouldn’t look down. Absolutely not.
His gaze dropped. Damnation. He switched his attention to her face, aware it wouldn’t help his aroused state but knowing it was at least a little more gentlemanly. Her lashes fluttered and lowered. He skimmed his gaze over her cheekbones and nose then down to her lips that parted as her breaths deepened. The brandy was a fine idea after all. With any luck she’d sleep deeply and the pain would be a great deal less when she awoke.
Ash tried to force his body to relax while he thought on what they would do once this was over. Her family were likely baying for his blood at present, and he imagined gossip was running rife. But once his brothers had evidence of the chief’s murdering ways, surely they would understand? Lila could go back to the life of a debutante and dance with as many earls or whatever as she wished.
The gnawing sensation in his gut told him otherwise. And, if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want her to go back to that either. If she was considered ruined in society’s eyes, he’d be ordered to marry her. No hardship on his behalf. All doubts about marriage had fled him long ago. Marriage to Lila would never be dull, he knew that now. But he wouldn’t force such a thing upon her. She’d already had so much taken from her by the murdering bastard. He thought it likely she’d never forget those moments.
He laid there until the sun dipped low in the sky. Golden streams of light danced into the windows, and from his position, he saw pink streaks breaking up the sky. His arm had grown stiff. At some point, he’d have to move and relieve himself as well as find a drink. His mouth was dry and his stomach had started to grumble.
Ash considered her and her deep breaths. He’d make a quick break for it and be back before she was even aware he’d been gone. Easing his arm out from underneath her, he moved her as though she were a china doll, ensuring her position remained the same and propping up the pillow to make up for the loss of his body.
He winced when the bed squeaked, but she slept on. Taking only a brief moment to admire her sleeping form and note the fading of the mark on her thigh, he made his way to the bathroom then down to the kitchens to make some coffee. He chewed on a stale biscuit. It would have to do for now. Then he made his way back up the creaking stairs to the bedroom, coffee in hand.
Lila jolted up in bed when he arrived. Her eyes were wide, her hair ruffled and ridiculously charming. He could imagine waking up next to her and seeing her just so.
“I did not know where you were.”
Distress rang clear in her voice. It was so unlike Lila to be fearful of anything that he almost dropped his coffee. Ash came to her side and set down the cup on the table next to the bed.
“Forgive me, I didn’t think you’d awaken. I’m here now.” He eased next to her, back propped against the headboard and settled her into his arms. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Yes, please.”
He passed over the cup and they shared the drink in silence, taking alternate sips. He felt the warm liquid stir
through his body and remove the stress-induced fatigue.
“Are you still in pain?” he asked when he set the empty cup on the side.
She nodded. “It isn’t as bad though. More tolerable.”
“Thank the Lord it wasn’t worse.”
“It was a jellyfish, was it not? I’ve heard of people being stung by them.”
“Yes. Harris was stung by one here too.” He cursed low and soft. “I shouldn’t have let you swim.”
“One can’t avoid things simply because of fear, Ash. If I let myself, I think I could likely stay at home and hide away forever because of all the dangers out there. But I won’t.”
“You’re a courageous woman, Lila. I envy that.”
“Why? You came to my rescue twice. You even faced down a murderer.”
“And yet I have not the courage to admit to my family that I suffer such an affliction.”
Lila looked up at him and cupped his cheek. “I’m sure you will find that courage. You are a brave, wonderful man.” She sucked in a breath as she shifted.
“What’s wrong?”
“My fault,” she said, voice strained. “The sheet skimmed the sting.”
He stroked her face then held her tight in an attempt to distract her from the pain. Her words rang in his mind. A wonderful man? Had anyone ever called him such a thing? Lazy, yes. Constantly late. Of course. Unreliable. For certain. But wonderful? Never.
Her body softened into his again. She lifted her head and searched his gaze. He couldn’t know what she was looking for but he hoped he gave it to her.
“It hurts.”
The words raked down his insides leaving tiny scars. He’d never forget when she looked at him like that and uttered those words. How he longed to protect her from ever coming to harm again. He saw her gaze drop to his lips. They were as close as two people could get without taking their clothes off. The air became thick around them. He felt as though smoke had filled the room and his lungs were struggling for air. She studied his mouth again.
“Kiss me, Ash.”
“I cannot.”
“Kiss me,” she begged. “Make me forget the pain.”
He wanted to laugh. Yes, when they kissed it seemed he forgot everything but surely that could not be the same for her? He felt so undeserving of her attention or her time. Lila was everything he was not. Vivacious, vibrant, and courageous.
That didn’t matter to the rolling desire that simmered beneath the surface though. That was there—for both of them. But for her it was dangerous.
Ash had meant to deny her again. He really had. But he’d allowed himself to stare at her lips for too long then remember how perfect they’d felt beneath his mouth before. His mind shut down, and all thoughts of ruination and not being good enough and how he should be focusing on keeping her safe fled. Once he touched his mouth to hers and she released a relieved gasp, only thoughts of softness and need entered his mind.
He cupped her face, pushing his hand through her hair until his fingers were entwined with the soft, slightly tangled waves. He kept her there. Ready for another kiss. This time, they shared a look so intense it made his chest tighten before he lowered his mouth to hers. Patience vanished. In its place a wild desperation took hold. He gripped her head tightly, tilting her so that she was open to his mouth. Her tongue touched his and a savage groan escaped him.
“Ash,” she murmured between kisses.
His name had never sounded so sweet.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders asking for more. He gave it. Kissing her until she was breathless—until they were both breathless. Tension riddled his body, brought on by desire waiting to be unleashed. He moved down to her neck and inhaled her natural scent. Even though the saltiness of the sea masked it, he could smell it, taste it. It seemed to him he’d been hungering for her for a lifetime, that she filled a gap he didn’t know existed.
Pressing kisses down her neck, he found a spot behind her ear that had her gasping and shuddering. He latched his teeth around her earlobe and gave a little tug. She held onto him tighter.
How easily he could slip farther down and work a breast free. When he peppered kisses across her collar bone, he spied her nipples pebbled against the cotton of her chemise. How easy it would be.
However, he continued his journey to the other side of her neck, testing there to see if he could make her shudder again. He succeeded, and she gasped. Her hands ran trails over his back, urging him on. He felt where her fingers had been, the thin fabric of his shirt creating a useless barrier between her touch and his skin. He bit down lightly on the rise of one breast, and she arched toward him.
Ash broke away, drew in a ragged breath. “Lila—”
Stop, he was going to say. Or we cannot. Anything to remind himself why they were here together.
But the look in her eyes stole the words. A tiny smile slipped across her lips. “You want to, do you not?”
“Want to what?” He knew what but couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Make love to me.”
The words hung in the air and rattled inside his brain. She’d voiced it and now the words were there, bouncing between them, urging him on. He almost wished he hadn’t asked.
He shook his head. “Lila, I cannot...”
“You love me, yes?”
His jaw fell open. “How do you know?”
“It’s in the way you look at me. No one has ever looked at me that way.” A flush appeared on her cheeks. “I like it.”
Ash supposed he ought to be embarrassed that he’d been so obvious, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was as though a weight had lifted from his shoulders. “There’s so many reasons why we shouldn’t...”
“I’m ruined now.”
He flinched at the words.
“You know that, Ash. In the eyes of everyone, I will be ruined. No amount of work on your brothers’ behalf can cover for the fact that we ran away together.”
“To escape a murderer.”
“It will not matter, and you know it.”
“I will do all I can to protect you.”
“I know.” That smile was back again, warming his heart. “If I am already ruined, what is the harm?”
“You don’t know what you ask of me.” His voice sounded as if he’d swallowed mouthfuls of sand.
“I ask for your time, your comfort, your pleasure. I ask for you to act on your love for me.”
She hadn’t said anything of her love. He did not really expect her to. Desire was one thing, love was another. Could he live with himself if he had her lust but not her love? He just wasn’t sure.
“If we do this...you know what this will mean for us.”
Lila nodded slowly.
“Say it,” he demanded. “Say it.”
“We will have to marry.”
Air rushed from his lungs. If he did this, she’d be his forever. Maybe with time, he’d win her love. But it meant he could do as he was certain fate had intended him to.
Protect her and love her forever.
He meant to say something more but became lost in her eyes. Instead, he pushed two hands under her head and brought her up to him. He kissed her hard. There would be no doubt that they would be tied together forever after this. She needed to know that.
Chapter Twelve
Lila flung her arms around his shoulders. She couldn’t explain it but she needed this man more than ever. Who else would ever look at her in such a way? Certainly not Lord Curly Wurly or the Earl of Pomade. The idea of balls and flirtations held little appeal now. The coiling desire deep in her belly told her all she needed to know, and the love in his eyes and his kisses sealed the knowledge. No one could ever care for her like this man—this caring, courageous, heroic man.
She would happily marry him, she decided. Why would she want to go back to some foppish lord after this?
And her family couldn’t really complain. After all, Ash was the brother of a marquess—no matter how scandalous his family was. For once
in her life, she wanted to be free to follow her own dreams and desires. It appeared they all involved Ash.
He held her close, like a man drowning in need of a life jacket. The deep instinctual knowledge he would always look after her warmed her chest. She accepted his kisses and gave in return, meeting his tongue with her own. Her skin heated, her body moved instinctively into his. Lila’s breast pressed against his chest, and her nipples hardened, making her want to rub against him to relieve the ache.
His hand slipped between them and cupped a breast in answer to her need. She gasped with relief.
“More,” she demanded.
He froze then, as if surprised by her demand. However, Ash soon moved again, plucking her nipple and bringing about the most exquisite sensations. He kissed her firmly on the mouth then moved back to drop his head to her breasts. When he took a nipple into his mouth through the cotton of her chemise, she almost forgot the sting in her leg. The time and brandy had already dulled it, but the heat of his mouth around her aching nipples turned it into a mild annoyance. If just his mouth could do that...
He kept her supported with hands on her back while he moved over to her other breast. She peered down to observe the erotic sight of his head against her chest. Unable to resist, she pushed her fingers through his hair, and he groaned against her. A tiny frisson traversed her, and she sucked in a breath.
Ash eased her down onto the bed and lifted the hem of her chemise. He glanced up at her, asking permission, and she nodded. When he tugged it up and over her head, she shivered—the chill of the air and a sudden awareness of the gravity of what she was doing rushed over her.
“Lila?”
The nerves fled. With one word, one look, they were gone. She saw everything she needed to see in his eyes. This was not a ruination—this was the start of her new life with Ash.
Sinful Possession (Cynfell Brothers Book 5) Page 10
