Tahlia started speaking the words of the rite.
She'd had a copy, written in stone, from the library she'd inherited from Cleo.
I looked around as she began the opening invocation. It was a general prayer to Bondye, the All-Father, the maker of all things. Again, Fomorians weren't particularly religious. But they did believe in some kind of creator deity behind everything in existence.
Where the hell was Agwe?
I mean, I realize he isn't particularly sensitive to human or even merfolk sentiments.
But skipping a funeral?
I took a deep breath. I didn't want Agwe's absence to be a distraction. I'd surely give him a mouthful for it later.
A lot of it didn't seem to apply to Enki. After all, it was a Fomorian rite, but the words were relevant enough with a bit of creative application.
Enki wasn't a merman, but "might his tail carry him into the light" wasn't a declaration that didn't fit in this case.
Funerals are full of platitudes. Even human funerals. Things people say they think make things better but don't.
He's in a better place...
It was his time...
He lived his life...
At least he didn't suffer...
I know how you feel...
Anyone who ever lost a loved one has heard things like that. And while these words are meant to comfort, they usually sting more than they console. So I didn't say anything to Nammu. I didn't try to tell her Enki died a hero. She knew that. Minimizing her pain would be like minimizing her loss...
And her loss... it was profound.
So I just sat next to her, even though I was supposed to sit beside the priestess.
I put my hand on her side.
A simple touch.
Enough for her to know I was there.
Where the hell was Ruach?
He was Nammu's husband. Enki's father...
And I didn't see him anywhere.
What the hell is wrong with men? Ruach should have been here! Agwe should have been here!
I didn't ask Nammu about it. If she was worried about it, or if she wanted to talk about it, she would.
But I didn't need to ask her.
She could read my thoughts, after all... since we had a connection.
He's going to avenge our boy... he and Admiral Agwe together...
I stared back at Nammu, my jaw dropped. "Our men... they did what?"
They've left to figure out how to kill the sharks... to find the one responsible...
I shook my head. I'd had the same thought. We had to do something. But for them to take it upon themselves to leave and take on this threat alone... it was foolish, it was a suicide mission.
Yes, Agwe was a demigod, but the body he inhabited was mortal. His host body could die. Of course, he could come back again. His spirit would go into the void, and, with Legba's aspect at my disposal, I could surely find a way to bring him back again. With the help of Marie Laveau, the Voodoo Queen.
It wasn't that he risked himself that irked me.
Agwe was putting Ruach in danger...
We already knew the wyrms were especially vulnerable to the zombie sharks.
Hell, that's probably the sole reason the bokors who were behind this chose this particular threat. They knew we'd be at a disadvantage since our greatest asset, the wyrms, would be vulnerable.
Nammu had just lost her child. She and Ruach had six more who were due to hatch in the coming weeks...
And Agwe led Ruach out on a mission that might end his life, leaving Nammu as a single mother... leaving their children to grow up without ever knowing their father?
My chest tightened. The heat radiating off my face might have boiled the ocean if I let all of my anger out.
"I'll find them," I said. "I can't let them do this alone."
I know you will, La Sirene... I knew you would before you did...
"You're not going to try and stop me?" I asked.
I will not...
I sighed. "Because I owe you this. If it wasn't for me, Enki would still be here."
Nammu snorted. It was loud enough Tahlia noticed. It forced her to briefly lose her place in the ritual she was still working her way through. This is not your fault, La Sirene. If you had not been there, if he had not gone with you, we'd have lost the legion... and we'd all be defenseless. This isn't about you, La Sirene.
"I didn't mean to make it..." I bit my lip. I was trying to be so careful not to say the wrong thing to a grieving mother. Then, of course, I opened my big mouth... but she was right. It wasn't about me. If I blamed myself, I was, in a sense, diminishing Enki's sacrifice.
Of course, Nammu could sense my thought even as it ruminated through my mind.
What was done has been done. Now, go, La Sirene... Tohu V'Bohu will accompany you...
I shook my head. "I can't allow that. I can't put any more of you in danger."
But you cannot prevent it, either... you may be Queen of Fomoria. Still, you have no jurisdiction over our decisions...
Chapter Seven
I slammed my fist into the wall. The new royal spire was sturdy. And it wasn't like I was going to actually punch through it. But it felt good to hit something. Besides, I was in my own quarters.
I could do whatever the hell I wanted.
I didn't have to wear any masks in here. Here, I wasn't La Sirene. I wasn't Queen of Fomoria. I was Joni Campbell... a smart girl, perhaps, so far as the good Lord has blessed me as such. A compassionate girl with a heart so big it got me into trouble as often as it helped.
And a mother who still missed her baby... who couldn't imagine the pain Nammu must've been experiencing. And a wife, left alone... so her husband could go off and try to save the day.
Two men, heading off foolishly to play the heroes. Without so much as consulting me?
Agwe and Ruach...
I mean, at least Nammu knew what her husband was up to.
Not that I would have tried to stop him. But I wasn't just his wife. I was Queen. I was supposed to be the leader of the Fomorian Wymriders. Not telling me wasn't just disrespectful. It was insubordinate.
He didn't respect my authority.
And I don't think it was because I was less-than divine. I don't even think it was because divinity trumps monarch.
Though, now that I think about it, while he'd pretended to submit to King Conand's rule before me, the whole sneaking out of Fomoria, going to New Orleans to find out who might have opened the void, and the like, all against and without the former king's wishes, wasn't that different.
Maybe I mistakingly assumed being his wife, he'd behave differently now that I was also Queen.
A zebra doesn't change its stripes, I suppose.
I sighed. Elijah never would have treated me that way. Even when I was pregnant with Merlin, even though he knew I was likely to act reckless, he was honest with me. He trusted I wouldn't put our child in jeopardy...
Of course, when I thought he was in trouble... when I thought he needed me...
That's precisely what I did.
Who was I fooling, anyway? Don't get me wrong. Girls my age don't typically have a lot of opportunities to play the heroine. I've had more than my share. And I had some significant victories. I was proud of that. But I also had my share of blunders...
Best I could figure, my attempts at heroism were about fifty-fifty. And fifty percent, at least in school, is grade F.
In fact, now that I think about it... half the time, the situations that befell me, requiring me to come to the rescue, were of my own making.
When I was a girl, I didn't summon the caplata or anything. But I'd put Roger—a Choctaw shaman who'd come to help—into harm's way and got him bitten by a zombie. The whole debacle that got me trapped in the void was because I'd tried to pass through a gateway to Annwn, despite being pregnant with Merlin, when a future version of myself was already there. Since two souls can't be in the same time and dimension at once, I got myself trapped in a cave, in the in-between
, the void. I acted recklessly because I thought Elijah was in trouble. I mean, Merlin was the gatekeeper... there was always a better-than-average chance he'd be somewhere in Annwn, which is precisely why I hadn't gone there at all after Elijah knocked me up with the baby who would become Merlin. And then the whole situation with the voidbringer... the voidspawn that possessed Nammu was from the dragon's essence that Merlin was born with because I got us stuck in that cave in the void I'd come to Fomoria to have it exorcised from him as a baby.
And now this...
I stopped looking at my map...
I rode in there before, on Enki's back, not knowing what to expect. It was irresponsible.
I knew Enki had given his life heroically. But he shouldn't have had to. If I'd been watching my map like my gut had told me I should do, then maybe I'd have been better prepared for what we confronted... maybe we'd have made it through the fight with the zombie sharks unharmed.
If I remove the times when my heroism was due to having to fix shit I screwed up myself...
Yeah, saying I had a fifty percent record was far too generous.
I had a hundred percent record of making dire situations even worse.
And a part of me expected by leaving with Tohu V'Bohu, trying to find Agwe and Ruach, I'd just do it again.
Something touched the tip of my tail.
I screamed—not because of what it was, but because it took me off guard.
Tahlia, in eel form, was slithering her way around my fin.
I sighed and chuckled a little to myself. No one likes being scared—but I had enough of a sense of humor to appreciate it in immediate retrospect.
We didn't have traditional doors in our rooms in Fomoria. That meant knocking wasn't a thing.
Usually, I could sense it if someone was approaching. Since Fomorians have magic within them, and as I siphon, I can draw magic from others, I usually know when they're coming.
But Tahlia was different. She might be a magical creature of a sort. But she didn't have any magic. Not the sort she could draw from and use to cast spells. Whatever magic, if it was magic at all, that governed her shapeshifting wasn't something I could siphon or detect. She was probably the only person in all of Fomoria who could sneak up on me like that.
And to do it in eel form, no less! Creepy bitch!
"Tahlia!" I said, still laughing a little on account of how she'd frightened me.
Tahlia shed her eel skin and immediately returned to her mermaid form.
She tossed her eel skin at me, which was a little gross. I grabbed it, pinching it between my index finger and thumb, holding it a couple feet out in front of my body.
It may have been nasty, but one advantage of living underwater is nastiness immediately washes off you.
Besides, it wasn't slimy or anything like that. Just the idea of it... like if a human peeled some dead skin off of his back after being sunburned and dared to toss it at me, I'd probably be equally repulsed.
Gross, right?
"What the hell was that about?" I asked.
Tahlia shrugged. "After the funeral... it's easier to avoid the crowds as an eel. Some folks here are still pretty critical of how I conduct this office and all the rituals. If I mispronounce something. If I don't have my arms angled at the precise angle dictated by tradition. If I'm not facing the right direction. Any little thing like that. Someone will let me know about it afterward."
I nodded. "Cleo had been priestess for a long time."
"More than that," Tahlia said. "I think a part of it is because I'm not, at least genetically speaking, completely Fomorian."
I shook my head. "Don't let people's prejudices get you down. I mean, I've had to deal with some of that, too. We both come from other worlds. At least your selkie family isn't widely perceived as an existential threat to Fomoria's existence."
Tahlia snorted. "Yeah, sorry. I wasn't thinking about that. I mean, it makes sense. Humans... ew."
Tahlia was smiling wide as she said it. She was half-joking. I chose not to take offense. "You're right. Humans can be pretty gross. I mean, boogers..."
"What about them?" Tahlia asked.
"Well, here, if you have them, you can let them kind of float off in the water. No one notices. But humans have a penchant for sticking their boogers in inappropriate places."
"Inappropriate?" Tahlia asked, glancing down toward my lady parts.
"No!" I said, laughing out loud. "Dear Lord, no! Not inappropriate like that! I mean, on the wall of a stall in a bathroom. Places like that."
"In a bathroom?" Tahlia asked. "I mean, from what I know from my family who spend half their time as humans, don't you have toilet paper in bathrooms?"
I nodded. "Most of the time, we do. Unless the roll has run out."
"So why wouldn't someone, if they have an urge to pick their nose while doing their business, which is disgusting for reasons of its own, put their boogers in toilet paper?"
I widened my eyes and nodded in agreement. "I'm telling you. No disrespect to my kind and most of the people I know... but humans can be disgusting, vile creatures. And boogers on bathroom stalls aren't even the half of it."
Tahlia shrugged. "Fomorians are gross, too. Everyone's gross in their own way. Doesn't excuse hating one species' grossness over another's."
I picked Tahlia's eel skin off of my shoulder, pinching it between my finger and thumb as I held it to her. "Speaking of gross..."
Tahlia laughed. "Sorry about that. It's just, well before you were here and Agwe was the only one looking out for me, he used to hold into it for me."
"Why would he do that?" I asked. "Couldn't you just hold it yourself?"
Tahlia nodded. "Mostly to prevent me from doing what I just did. Shifting form to get out of awkward situations."
I cocked my head. "Well, when King Conand was in charge, you were basically here illegally. Seems to me being able to shift and slither would be a good evasive tactic if you were found."
Tahlia nodded. "It would. The problem was when I first came here, I was paranoid all the time. Someone would look at me the wrong way... probably just some merman checking me out or something, but I'd assume the worst. I'd figure he was some agent for Conand trying to deport me. So I'd shift..."
"And if too many people saw you do that..."
"Exactly," Tahlia said. "They'd get wise to what I was. Which would only make it more likely I'd get caught."
"So you started giving your pelt to Agwe?" I asked.
"I know what it's like to feel helpless," Tahlia said. "Like everything in the world is closing in around you."
I bit my lip. "I suppose you do."
"Which is why," Tahlia said. "I'm coming with you."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.
Tahlia rolled her eyes. "I could hear you during the ritual. Well, I could hear Nammu anyway. You realize, when you can speak to wyrms, their voices carry. It's like the mental connection that allows you to communicate with them isn't diminished across distance."
"No wonder you were stumbling over your words so much." I smiled slyly. "You were eavesdropping on our conversation."
Tahlia shrugged. "I didn't stumble that badly. I think I managed to multitask fairly well."
"You did great," I said. "I think the ceremony honored Enki's sacrifice."
"Thank you," Tahlia said. "I just wish with Agwe's aspect..."
A lightbulb went off in my head. I can't believe I hadn't thought about it already. With the funeral and feeling conflicted over what Nammu had asked me to do, my mind was a bit aloof. I hadn't been thinking clearly. But it was so obvious, now. With Agwe's aspect, Tahlia basically had a direct line of communication to Agwe.
"Wait, can you reach out to him?" I asked.
Tahlia shook her head. "It's the first thing I tried to do after the ceremony. But I think he's blocked me out, somehow. His aspect is still there, I can sense it, but I get nothing when I try to connect to him. So I was suggesting we go find him togethe
r."
I pressed my lips together. "Well, I appreciate the offer. But I don't think I'm going to go after Agwe and Ruach."
Tahlia sorted. "Seriously? Nammu basically asked you to join Tohu..."
I sighed. "Here's the thing. I have a track record of making shit a lot worse than it was before I got involved."
Tahlia scratched her head. "Well, if that's the case, you must have the rest of us all buffaloed. I mean, if they all thought you were a royal screw-up, no pun intended, I don't think the Fomorians would have acclaimed you queen after you defeated the voidbringer."
"After we defeated the voidbringer," I said. "I couldn't have done it without you."
"Perhaps," Tahlia said. "But it was under your leadership. Without me, you might have defeated the voidbringer anyway."
I huffed. "I highly doubt that."
"It's possible," Tahlia said. "There's a chance you could have figured it out."
I shrugged. "Maybe. But I guess we'll never know."
"True," Tahlia said. "But I know for absolute certainty if you weren't there, if it wasn't for you, we definitely couldn't have stopped him. Without you, and not just your abilities but your resolve... nothing you see right now would exist. Have you thought about that? We all owe our existence to you, Joni."
I took a deep breath. Inhaling water and exhaling it right back out again. Totally different experience than breathing above the surface. But it nonetheless felt good, like when I breathed out, I was releasing the guilt, the pain, the loss. Not all of it. And not indefinitely. Some of it would remain with me forever. But enough that I could be in the moment, in the present, without shackling myself by my past.
But that still didn't mean going to rescue Agwe and Ruach was the right move. I mean, did we really know if they were in danger? Agwe might be bullheaded—even if he is semi-divine, he's male at the end of the day. But he wasn't a complete moron. I don't think he would have left with Ruach if he didn't think they had some chance of stopping the zombie sharks or the bokor who'd made them that way.
And who was I kidding? I didn't have the slightest idea where they'd went.
Yes, I checked my map. Did that the first thing when I came back from the funeral.
Nothing...
Wyrmrider Vengeance: An Underwater Magic Urban Fantasy (The Fomorian Wyrmriders Book 2) Page 4
