“I know, Mom, but I’m so tired of having to go through this. I’m so tired of having to fight for what’s right and then not getting anywhere.”
“I hate to see you going through this, too, but now you only have two choices. You can either sit back and be happy in that job they just donated to you and let them get away with blatant discrimination, or you can fight back. It’s not going to be easy accusing two white VPs of discrimination and then still having to work for them. They’re going to take you through hell, and it’s going to take everything in you not to quit. But once you start this, you’re going to have to stick with it until the end.”
“I know, but it’s going to be so hard for me, trying to keep quiet until I have everything in place legally.”
“But you can do it. With prayer and all the confidence I tried to instill in you, you’ll make it.”
“First David and now this. It seems like everything is crashing down around me all at once.”
“God never places any more on us than we can bear. It may seem like it from time to time, but He never does.”
I held the phone with my shoulder and blew my nose with a tissue.
“I’m going to try and call Monica again, okay, Mom?”
“Tell her I said hello, and if you want to talk, I’m here. I have a couple of errands to run this evening, but I’ll be back by seven or so.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, honey, and you hang in there. Everything’ll work itself out.”
“I hope so, Mom.”
“Bye, sweetie,” she said, and I hung up.
I’d changed my mind about calling Monica again, because it would be better to call her when I was in the privacy of my own home. That way, I wouldn’t have to worry about what I was saying, how I was saying it, and I’d be able to scream as loud as I wanted.
I thought about calling Frank. I’d only seen him once this morning, but not this afternoon. He was the person I wanted to console me. I needed someone to tell me that things were going to be okay the same as Mom just had, but I wanted to hear it from the man who’d made it clear that I was important to him. I wanted to lean into his arms, cry on his shoulder and feel safe. I wanted to feel safe the way I used to before all these problems with David and me began, and before I realized Reed Meyers wasn’t going to treat me like a human being. But I decided that maybe I would call him later.
The next couple of hours passed slowly, but I didn’t leave my office until it was time to go home. When the clock struck five, I rushed out of the building, wishing I never had to return.
David was just full of surprises. I was on the phone with him right now, and couldn’t believe he’d had the nerve to ask me if I was thinking of seeing someone else. I almost hung up, but decided I would hear him out just for the hell of it.
“Well, are you?” he asked when I didn’t answer him.
“It’s really none of your business. I don’t ask you about your life with Christina, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t ask me about anything I’m doing.”
“It’s no big deal. If you’re planning to see someone else, just say it.”
“Why are you so worried about it, David?”
“I’m not. I’m just asking.”
“Well, don’t ask me anymore.”
“Fine. Whatever. Anyway, the real reason I’m calling is because I think it’s time for us to talk about getting divorced.”
I’d been wondering when he would finally drop the D word, but with everything I was feeling toward Reed Meyers, I didn’t have any anger left to dedicate to this. Giving him a divorce didn’t bother me, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted us to hurry to get it over with.
“Have your attorney draw up the papers and send them to mine,” I said. “I’ll be using Ray Stevens.”
“I don’t believe you. With all that we’ve been through and with all the years we’ve been together, that’s all you have to say?”
“What is it you want me to say, David? Because right now I can’t think of anything.”
“For the life of me, Anise, I don’t know why I ever married you.”
“I don’t know either. Especially since my skin is much too dark and my hair is too buckshot nappy.”
I couldn’t wait for his comeback, but he fooled me and threw the phone on the hook. Which didn’t bother me, because no matter how I looked at our situation, I couldn’t forget that he was seeing another woman.
The clock on the VCR showed 9:00 P.M. I’d driven straight home from work, warmed up some leftover chicken and turned on some jazz down in the lower level. I’d fallen asleep for maybe an hour on the oversize black leather chair and matching ottoman, but now I was wide awake thanks to David.
I was tired of thinking about Jim, Lyle, Kelli, Reed Meyers and all this racial madness, but I couldn’t seem to think about much else.
I remembered things I hadn’t thought about in years. Like when I was five and Mom told me that the reason she and my grandmother had taught me so much was that from the time I entered kindergarten, I would have to be more knowledgeable than white children. Back then I didn’t understand why, but now I knew what she meant. Or when I was sixteen, and my then best friend, who was white, invited me over for dinner without telling her parents and was told it was okay to be friends with me at school, but that under no circumstances was she to bring me to their home again. I remembered the day I entered college, was assigned a white roommate, and she acted as though the world was coming to an end. So much so, that she threatened to drop out if her parents didn’t lease her an apartment, because all the other dorm rooms were full. I remembered the time when David and I traveled to New Orleans by car, saw a vacancy sign at a hotel in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, but had to keep driving because the clerk told me they had no rooms and never looked up at me again, once she saw that I was black. I remembered how we hadn’t had the courage to try another hotel even though we could barely keep our eyes open. I remembered having my first interview at Reed Meyers, going to a top department store in Mitchell looking for a new suit and having the same thing happen that happened to Mom and me at that store in Woodfield. But with this humiliating incident, it was a weeknight, I was the only person shopping in better sportswear and still the salesperson never acknowledged my presence. I remembered my recent car accident all over again, and how the woman who’d called the police hated me for no reason. I even thought about being the only black household in our subdivision and how certain neighbors made it a point not to speak to David or me. But I did thank God for the neighbors who had embraced us from the very beginning.
I replayed every racial slur or action I’d ever experienced or witnessed. I knew what it felt like to want sweet revenge against the people who had wronged you. I knew what it was like to be consumed with anger. But deep down I knew this way of thinking wasn’t going to help me. I knew my fury was causing more harm to myself than anyone else. I knew now that, instead of burdening myself with hostility, it was time I utilized the legal system. It was time to research the laws that had been created to protect someone like me—someone who was being wronged for no justifiable reason.
I closed my eyes and listened to the soothing music.
I prayed for God to bring me through these unbearable circumstances.
CHAPTER 16
IT WAS SEVEN FORTY-FIVE, but I sat in my car ten more minutes. I’d played hooky from work yesterday, but still dreaded going inside Reed Meyers the way a convict dreaded the death penalty.
I dragged myself up the sidewalk, swiped my ID card through the reader, and entered the brick building.
The department seemed rather quiet for a Thursday morning, but that suited me just fine because I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone who worked here anyway. The reason: I had personal business that needed taking care of.
I closed myself off from the rest of the world, kicked my shoes under my desk, dialed Frank’s extension and hoped he was in.
He didn’t disappoint me.
“Frank Colletti,” he answered.
“Hi” was all I said.
“So I see you made it in today?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to,” I admitted.
“Your secretary told me you were out yesterday, and I was a little worried.”
“I’m fine. Well, not fine, but I’m here.”
“You weren’t sick, were you?”
“Depends on how you define being sick.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I’m sick of this job and this place we work for.”
“Doesn’t have anything to do with that memo Jim circulated two days ago about Kelli, does it?”
“That’s exactly what the problem is, along with a ton of other complaints I could whine about. But that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Oh?”
“I’m calling because I’m ready to take you up on your dinner offer.”
“You’re kidding?”
“No. I’m dead serious.”
“And what may I ask led you to this decision?”
“A number of things. Too many to go into.”
“Your reasons don’t matter to me anyway, and all you have to do is tell me when and name the place.”
“I was thinking about tonight.”
“Tonight is fine. What about Morton’s Steakhouse in Schaumburg?”
“Sounds okay to me. Anything is good as long as it’s not in Mitchell, where we can be seen by people we know.”
“I’ll call to see if we can still get a last-minute reservation, and if you don’t hear back from me, then we’re set.”
“All right.”
“Will you be ready after work?”
“Yes.”
“Do you wanna meet somewhere and leave your car?”
“What about the truck stop near Marengo?”
“I’ll meet you there just before six.”
“I’ll see you then.”
“Anise?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not going to change your mind at the last minute, are you?”
“No, I’ll be there.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“So am I,” I said, feeling somewhat strange.
“You know I’ve waited a long time for this.”
“I know. See you soon.”
Last night had brought on a whole new way of thinking for me. My anger was starting to build, and for the first time, I realized it was time for me to take a stand. It was time for me to get some of the things I wanted personally and professionally. I knew Frank could help me with both.
Lorna came into my office an hour later, expressed how pissed off she was over Kelli getting that promotion and then stormed back out right after I received a phone call I had to take. She’d phoned me at home yesterday in an outrage but was still ranting and raving about it the same way today. She’d insisted for the trillionth time that I had to sue the company or else. I agreed with her, but didn’t let her know that I had everything all figured out. I didn’t think it was wise to share my game plan with anyone except Frank. Something told me it was better to keep my newfound strategy to myself.
I lifted the phone to call Monica, because I still hadn’t had a chance to tell her what was going on. I’d called her the night I was so depressed over Kelli’s great accomplishment, but remembered she’d gone away with Marc the day before on one of his business trips. I didn’t know how I could forget something like that, but I knew it had a lot to do with how riled up I was. They were supposed to return late last night, so I doubted she’d gone to work this morning.
I reached to dial her number, but someone knocked on my door and I laid the phone back down.
“Come in,” I said.
“Excuse me, Anise, but I have a job requisition for a forklift driver,” the only black foreman at the company said, entering and passing me the official document. “Vivian has given her two weeks’ notice, so we’ll need to fill the position pretty quickly.”
“I’ll get on it right away.”
“I appreciate it, and call me if you have any questions.”
“I sure will,” I said, smiling.
“So is everything going okay with you?”
“Yeah, still have a few things to learn, but it’s coming. And it didn’t help that I missed yesterday, since it was only my second day being a manager.”
“Some things you can’t control, and what’s important is that you’re here now.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Well, like I said, call me if you have questions.”
“Sounds good,” I said, and he left.
I so wanted to be enthusiastic about my new responsibilities, because I didn’t want to disappoint Mike or any of the shop employees. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to them, but emotionally I wasn’t able to function the way I used to. I’d been fine the day I started, but I hadn’t been the same ever since reading that announcement about Kelli. My mind was fixed on other things. I concentrated on how I was going to snatch Jim and Lyle away from their mighty thrones. Right now, that was my priority.
I lifted the phone again and called Monica.
“It’s about time,” I said when she answered.
She laughed. “I know. I don’t think we’ve gone two full days without talking since high school.”
“And you claimed you’d always be there for me when I needed you. Some friend you are.”
“I couldn’t help it. The whole first day we were gone, I shopped, and then I found out that Marc didn’t have any business the second day or yesterday. So we locked ourselves in the room until it was time to go to the airport last night. I was so surprised, because we haven’t gotten away all summer.”
“I guess I know what you were doing while you were so holed up in that hotel. I bet all of Nashville could hear you.”
“They probably could.”
Monica was my girl, and I was so happy to hear her voice. I needed to hear it more than I realized.
“Well, while you and Marc were making love two days straight, I found out that they gave the corporate position to that Kelli chick I told you about.”
“What? How?”
“They wanted her to have it, and they gave it to her. Simple as that.”
“I don’t believe you’re telling me this.”
“And the best part is that they had the nerve to send out the memo the same day I started my new position.”
“Well, that was pretty deceitful.”
“Yeah, but what they don’t know is that I’ve taken as much as I’m going to take from them.
“I don’t blame you, because it sounds like they’ve completely broken the law.”
“There’s no doubt about it. Kelli is clearly not qualified for the position based on the requirements they posted, and that means they’ve totally violated my rights. Let alone the fact that they’ve disregarded both state and federal equal employment opportunity laws.”
“I still don’t want to believe they could be so blatant.”
“Well, believe it. And if you want to know the truth, I’ve had it with these racist people here at Reed Meyers and this situation with David.”
“Have you heard from him?”
“Unfortunately I have. First he wanted to know if I was planning to see other people, and when I wouldn’t answer him, he told me that he was filing for a divorce.”
“Oh no,” she said. “I know things haven’t been good, but I still hate hearing that.”
“Don’t. It was bound to happen with the way things have been going, and I think it’s better for both of us. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can both move on with our lives without each other.”
“You’re so calm about this. I would be hysterical, the same way I was when Xavier and I split up.”
“I think it’s different when your marriage has experienced a slow death. We’ve basically just been sleeping in the same bed, but you know th
at this marriage has been over for a very long time.”
“I still hate hearing this.”
“I’ll be fine, Monica. I know you’re worried about me being alone, but I’ll get through this the same way I’ve gotten through every other problem in my life. And with all that I’m going through here at work, I’ve decided that I’m not going to spend any time worrying about David, too. I can’t deal with both, and right now this Reed Meyers thing has to be my priority.”
“What are you planning on doing?”
“I’m still thinking everything through. I thought about it a lot last night, and I’ve got some ideas that I think will bring everything they’ve done out in the open.”
“Just be careful.”
“You know I always am.”
“Yeah, but just be extra careful with this, because no white executive is going to roll over and play dead after some black woman goes out of her way to expose him.”
“I don’t expect any of them to play dead, I just want them to stop breaking the law and give me what I deserve.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but like I said, Anise, be careful.”
“You’re worrying for nothing,” I said.
“Maybe I am, so let’s change the subject. What are you doing after work?”
Why did she have to ask me that? Because there was no way I could tell her the truth about where I was going and who I was going with. I didn’t want to lie, but how was I going tell her that I was having dinner with another man, and that this other man was white? She was so dead set against this kind of relationship, so it was better to keep my dinner date private.
“Not much,” I said. I didn’t sleep too well the last couple of nights, so I’ll probably get to bed early.”
“Well, I’ll give you a call at work tomorrow then.”
“I’ll be here.”
Grand Central Station had absolutely nothing on me and all the phone calls I’d received this afternoon. First there were the calls from the benefits secretary, who was still pulling her hair out trying to handle my old responsibilities, and now some of Kelli’s. Then I’d handled two additional job requisitions for another foreman and another call from the temp agency who filled our temporary job openings.
A Taste of Reality Page 16
