by Ruby Dixon
I add it to my list of things to practice, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel like I have something to look forward to.
* * *
We spend the rest of the day in pleasant idleness in the cave. Haeden stays busy with chores, but he also introduces me to a game called ‘story spinning’ that he says they play with the kits back home, when the snows get too high. The game works with someone being given a topic, and the story-spinner must come up with a storyline to go with whatever words are offered to him. It’s kind of like a verbal mad libs, and we spend a lot of time trying to trip each other up. To my surprise, Haeden’s got a sharp wit and even my goofiest stories manage to make him crack a few smiles. I teach him ‘I Spy’ and we play that long into the afternoon, until the suns set and the cold sucks all the fun out of the evening, and even the fire can’t keep me warm.
Then, Haeden crawls into the furs with me and pulls me against his chest, and I spend the rest of the evening cuddling with him. My cootie hums urgently, wanting more, but I do my best to ignore it. I won’t think of the bath, either. Tomorrow will be the day, I tell it. Be patient until tomorrow.
I fall asleep with my head on Haeden’s chest as he strokes my hair, and really, I could get used to this. Maybe it’s just the extreme horniness brought on by the cootie, but when he holds me? I feel…loved. Adored. Cherished. Like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
Maybe I am.
I…kind of like that thought.
When we wake up the next morning, the weather is colder. I shiver despite the furs Haeden piles onto me, and even he shrugs on a warm tunic over his chest. “It is because we have gone north,” he says. “The air is not as pleasant here as back at the tribal caves.”
I frown to myself. “North? I was trying to go west. Toward Harlow and Rukh’s cave.”
He snorts. “You are several days away from it, then.”
Am I? Drat. “Well, that sucks.”
“You were likely turned around. The big salt water is close to here, but the cave is not.” He pokes at the fire to stoke it, and then his tail flicks with frustration. “We are low on fuel for the fire. Stay here and I will go scout the area.”
“Okay.” I tug the blankets closer. “Hurry back.”
He picks up his spear and nods at me. He doesn’t smile, but that’s not Haeden. He devours me with a hot, possessive look and then turns and marches out of the ‘cave’ entrance, and I decide I’ll take a steamy glance over a friendly smile any day.
I flex my hands and they don’t feel too bad, so I gingerly try to do a few chores around the cave while he’s gone. I keep the fire stoked, put on some water for tea, and do my best to straighten up without using my hands too much. The meat he was smoking overnight looks done so I put it into one of the many pouches and tug the drawstring shut with my teeth. Then, there’s not much to do but wait.
Haeden returns a short time later, a frozen hopper in hand from one of his traps. He kicks the snow off his boots and unwraps his furs, then moves immediately to my side. I think he’s going to hand me the kill – maybe he’s forgotten my hands are jacked – but instead he comes over and presses a fierce kiss to the top of my head.
And again, I melt. Why did I think this guy was a douche? Hard to get along with sometimes, yes, but loving? Absolutely.
“Everything okay?” I ask, worried. “Any sign of metlaks?”
“All over,” he says, and squats by the fire. He looks surprised to see that it’s burning strong and there’s a pouch of tea on. He glances over at me. “Tea?”
“I thought you might be cold when you came back.”
He grunts in that way that I’ve come to interpret as his ‘approval’ grunt and dips the cup into it. Haeden drinks it down quickly and then dips the cup again and offers to me.
“I’m good. So…more metlaks?”
He nods. Instead of butchering his kill, he wraps it in one of the furs and begins to pack his things. “Tracks everywhere, young and old. They know we are here, but they are scared to come after us with the fire. We must be deep in their territory.”
Goosebumps prickle my arms. “So what do we do?”
“We leave the moment your hands are better.” He turns to me. “I will not put you in danger.”
I ignore the giddy rush of warmth his words give me and focus on the problem at hand. I need to think, not be all giggly because he’s saying all the things I’ve been dying to hear. “Will we be safe if we go?”
“The metlaks usually do not come after sa-khui. If we leave their territory, they will not follow.”
“But they attacked you.”
He nods thoughtfully. “We will rub ourselves with ash from the fire. If we smell like smoke, they will stay away. They are not smart enough to realize we are not on fire; they only recognize the scent.”
“Okay.” I hold my hands out. “Shall we check these, then?”
Haeden moves to my side and I do my best to stay still as he begins to gently unwrap my hands. He’s always so careful with me, even though I know his cootie must be making him as crazy as mine is making me. Right now it’s singing up a storm, and his is matching in thunderous effect. I’m kind of surprised we haven’t kept the metlaks away just with the noise our chests are making.
When my hands are unwrapped and the gunky liidi washed away, my hands are smooth with no sign of blisters. I flex one cautiously, and when it doesn’t hurt, I beam at Haeden. “I can’t believe it’s already fixed. You’re a genius.”
He grunts, but I can tell he’s pleased. He unwraps my other hand and doesn’t look me in the eye. “The liidi takes care of the pain. The khui takes care of the rest.”
“Well, I still appreciate the help.”
“You are my mate. Of course I would do this for you.” The look he gives me is challenging, as if waiting for me to protest that he’s my man. But I don’t say anything. Let him chew on that for a while.
As he wipes my hands clean, I turn to gaze at the wall, where the green lights dance and I know there are at least two women sleeping. “Do you think they will be okay?”
“They have been here for many moons. As I have said, what is another day or two?”
“Yes, but…what if the metlaks come in and damage the walls? Or somehow pry them loose?”
“That will not happen. And we cannot take them with us. We are not prepared to bring two weak humans – and they will be weak – over the mountains to take back to the caves. We cannot bring down a sa-kohtsk on our own. We will wait and bring a hunting party back here with the proper gear.”
I nod. His words make sense. I know he’s right; I just feel guilty at the thought of leaving the others behind. But the rest of the ship has been mostly undisturbed over the last year and a half, so I know he makes sense – there’s no point in opening them up right now. Not when we barely have enough furs to keep me and Haeden warm. We could all snuggle together at night, I suppose.
I picture two strange human women curling up against Haeden’s big, brawny form and I’m shocked at the violent stab of jealousy that moves through me. I don’t want anyone else touching him. He’s…mine. I’m still coming to terms with that concept, but it sticks in my head. Mine. Mine mine mine.
“Do your hands ache?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts. His fingers brush over my palm.
“They’re good,” I say and flex them to prove it. “So we leave…today?”
“As soon as we pack our gear.” His hand smooths over mine again and he rubs it. “A few days hard travel and we will be back at the tribal caves.”
Back, and I’m probably going to get my head bitten off for leaving on my own. I’ll have to endure the pitying looks of the others, and the smirks of those that realize we haven’t completed our resonance yet. I’m reluctant to go back. I love the tribe but right now it’s touchy for me.
So I grip Haeden’s hand. “If the girls are safe in the wall for a bit longer…would it be okay if we go south instead of direc
tly back to the tribe? Take a few days for ourselves? To get used to this thing between us?”
I expect him to protest, but he studies me and then nods. He gets to his feet and presses a quick kiss to the top of my head again. “It shall be as you ask.”
15
HAEDEN
I push Jo-see hard for the first day of travel. I am not comfortable with the amount of metlak tracks that I see all around the cave or covering the trails. This place is thick with the wild, unpredictable creatures and the sooner we leave, the better. Because she walks slower than I do with the snowshoes, I carry her pack. And as the hours on the trail creep from morning to late afternoon, she begins to slow. She does not protest the bruising pace I set, but I can tell she is tired.
So toward the end of the day, I carry her, as well. She doesn’t want me to, but I ignore her words and her small slaps and bend over so she can climb onto my back. She does and I hoist her higher, her arms around my neck, and we continue.
Eventually the metlak tracks disappear and we move into sa-khui territory. These are the fringes of hunter lands, but I know these places. I know where the caves are and where caches are hidden to freeze extra kills when the traps are plentiful. We stop as the twin moons come up into the sky and I take my mate to the closest hunter cave. It is a small one, but well stocked with fuel for a fire and warm furs for bedding. I set her down gently and then sling the packs off my front. “I must scout the area to make sure we are safe,” I tell her. “But let me start a fire first so you stay warm.”
“I can do it,” she says, and pulls out the irestarter she keeps on a thong at her neck. “You do what you’ve gotta do. I can help where I can.”
I nod slowly, rubbing my chest as my khui vibrates in response. That she would help me prepare our camp despite her exhaustion means much to me. It makes me feel as if we are in this together for the first time. That she is acknowledging that we are one. I grab her in a fierce hug and kiss the top of her head again before she can say anything, and then head out of the cave to scout before she asks questions.
I track back on our trail, looking for signs of metlaks, but there is nothing. If we were followed, they gave up many hours ago. Pleased, I return to the cave and my mate, where she has the fire blazing. I am proud that she is not complaining, though she is clearly tired. Instead, she busies herself in the cave and looks up from the fire when I arrive, her eyes brightening.
It has taken many torturous nights to get to the point where her eyes light up with pleasure at the sight of me, but I would trade not a single one. This moment has made all of them worth it.
“Everything okay?” she asks, crumbling a few dried herbs into the stewing pouch to make tea.
“No tracks,” I agree. “The metlaks have abandoned us in pursuit of easier prey.” I did not see much prey at all, which concerns me. Normally these hills are crawling with game.
“That’s great,” Jo-see says, smiling. “Will we be at Harlow and Rukh’s cave tomorrow?”
“If we travel all day, perhaps.” I do not point out that this will be unlikely.
She nods slowly, a frustrated look crossing her face. “So no, then. I’m sorry I’m slowing us down. It’s difficult to keep up with you.”
Does she think I chastise her? “Do not apologize. We are not at our full strength.” I rub my chest, thinking of the khui that has been the bane – and hope – of my existence recently. “We will simply go as fast as we can and not worry about anything else.”
“I feel guilty you had to carry me today—“
“That was because we were in metlak territory. We are safe now.” I lean forward and touch her chin, tilting her head up so she gazes at me. “And I would carry you for days on end without complaint, and be glad to do so.”
She blushes and ducks her head. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that or I’m going to have bruises on the insides of my thighs from trying to hold on to you.”
I picture her thighs gripping my hips and lust roars through me. If it came to pass, I would not mind her sweet thighs clenching around me endlessly. The only thing I would mind are the bruises she would wear. “I will be more careful with you.”
Jo-see just shakes her head at me, amused.
We pass the dark hours companionably, talking about the weather and drinking tea. I feed Jo-see tidbits of the meat that I roast. Even though her hands are better, I enjoy feeding her. She does not protest the treatment, and after the meat is gone, she starts to yawn.
“Sleep,” I tell her. “There will be much traveling to do tomorrow and you will need your strength.”
She nods and glances over at the blankets, then shivers. “Will you join me? You’re my fur-nus.”
“Fur-nus?”
“You provide warmth,” she teases, all smiles.
I nod. I will gladly fur-nus for her. I settle in to the furs and she moves her body against mine, tucking her smaller form under my shoulder. She gives a little sigh and her cheek rests against my chest, her fist over my heart. My khui sings pleasantly and I close my eyes, content to ignore the hum coursing through my body, demanding that I claim my mate. For now, this is enough.
“Your khui is loud,” Jo-see murmurs softly, and her fingers pet my chest, stroking the hard ridges over my heart.
She is not wrong. Though the song is pleasant, it is throbbing loudly. I grunt acknowledgment. “Ignore it.”
Jo-see says nothing, but her hand continues to stroke the ridges on my chest, and my cock – already ready – grows achingly hard. I keep my eyes closed and my body still, determined not to react. If she wants to pet me harmlessly as she goes to sleep, I will welcome it without protest. Her every touch is a gift.
Moments pass and her fingers continue to stroke my chest.
Then, her hand slides lower, away from my heart and down my belly.
My mouth goes dry. My cock jerks against my breechcloth, stabbing at the air. Perhaps…she does not realize what she is doing? I wait in rigid silence, my hand fisted at my side as her fingers glide over my belly, teasing at the edges of my breechcloth. I listen to her breathing to see if she is sleeping and her hand is simply wandering.
But then I smell her arousal in the air, faint but growing stronger.
The groan I have been biting back escapes me. “Jo-see?”
“Is it okay if I play a little?” Her voice is hushed and soft, and her fingers stroke stroke stroke my belly. Over and over. “Do a bit of exploring?”
I give a jerky nod. As if I would refuse this? No male could.
Her hand moves lower. “I never thought about you being a virgin,” she confesses in a hushed voice. “I admit it changes my perspective on things.”
“How…how so?” My voice cracks as I speak, and I clear my throat.
“It’s weird, but I feel like I understand you now. Why you’re so scared of me being ‘weak’. And it makes it feel like, well, like you’re all mine. Funny how that’s so appealing, isn’t it?”
It is not strange to me. The thought of another male touching her fills me with helpless rage. “I belong to no one but you,” I tell her through gritted teeth.
“I know,” she says softly. “I kind of like that.”
And then her hand slides over my leggings and cups my shaft.
I choke on my own breath, my fists tight against my side. Part of me wants to pry her hand away so she does not torment me further…and part of me wants to grab her by her small wrist and have her pump my cock until I spurt all over her fingers.
“You’re really hard.” She sounds fascinated. “And big. I’m impressed.”
“You…have seen me…unclothed…before.” It is difficult to get the words out when she is touching me. My mind cannot concentrate on anything but her hand, gently stroking.
“Yeah, but seeing and feeling are two different things, you know?” Her voice is breathless with wonder. “And I’m definitely feeling something impressive.” Her hand leaves my cock and I could cry out in frustration – but then I fee
l her fingers move to my leggings. The knot in the waist-cords give and then the material loosens.
And she pushes it down, exposing my cock to the air.
“Can I keep going?” she asks, sitting up.
The breath gusts out of me. As if I could stop her? Precum slicks the head of my cock and dribbles down the ridges on my length. My sac is tight. At any moment, I feel ready to explode. At the same time, I do not want to come too soon, not before she is finished.
She takes my silence as permission, because her hand returns to my cock and she lets her fingers lightly dance along my length, tracing the veins and ridges. It feels better than anything I have ever imagined, her hand on my cock, and I close my eyes and think of hunting and tracking and metlaks and snow – anything to keep from losing control.
“Your skin is so warm,” Jo-see’s voice is soft. She leans closer, and then I feel her breath on my cock. “And you’re so thick.”
A groan escapes me. How can I think of metlaks when her lips are less than a finger-span from my length? How can I think of anything?
“And these ridges,” she says with a little sigh, tracing her finger over one. “I think you might have the perfect dick, Haeden. I can’t believe I’m the first woman to touch it.”
“Only,” I grit out, voice ragged. “You are the only female that will ever touch me.” Because I am hers and hers alone.
Instead of being afraid of my words, she gives a throaty little chuckle that makes my sac tighten even more. “Just me,” she says, and the tease is back in her voice. Her fingertips lightly stroke up and down my length. “Only me.”
Then, she leans in and presses her mouth to the flat of my belly.
The breath hisses from my throat. I am in agony. Pure, perfect agony, and it has been created by my mate’s soft mouth.
Her tongue lightly touches my skin. “Haeden?”
“What.”
“I need to ask a favor,” she says, and then licks my lower belly again. Her mouth is so close to my cock that obscene, fascinating images scroll through my mind, faster and faster. I do not dare to hope that her mouth will go lower. It does not seem like something she would enjoy. And yet…
