Two seconds after opening my work email, my cell chimes and buzzes with a new message. I roll my eyes.
I hope that my theory that he’ll walk away easily proves true.
Chapter 14
RIFF
I’ve never been one to basically stalk a woman until she talks to me, but the fact that Kitten is ignoring me cuts right through me. I should’ve called. I know that. Not calling was a dick move on my part, and I feel like an asshole, but there’s nothing I can do about that now, other than apologize. I was seriously trying to distance myself from her, but I only made it three fucking days.
I ring her cell one more time, since I’ve put myself on a pattern alternating my method of attempting communication with her every thirty minutes. None of my instant messages, texts, or calls are answered.
“Are you going to be on your phone all fucking night?” Trip whines next to me as we walk through the parking lot back to Big Bertha. “I want to go find some chicks.”
“I have to keep trying until she answers,” I snap as yet another attempt goes straight to her voicemail.
“I know I told you to try with her, dude, but if she’s ignoring you it’s a sign that you need to move on.”
“Why is she mad?” Tyke questions from the other side of Trip.
I sigh and stuff my phone in my pocket. “I basically begged her to give a relationship with me a shot, promised to call her back, and I didn’t.”
Trip jerks his thumb in my direction as he explains to his brother, “This dumbass tries to call the girl three days later, but then gets crazy when she won’t answer any of his messages.”
Tyke shakes his head. “Tough break, Riff. Maybe you should forget about her.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Trip asks. “What is it about that girl that you like so much?”
My mind flashes to the first night I saw Aubrey. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and when she shoved me away from her, I was a goner. I had to have her. It didn’t help she made me work for it a little first, that only drove me more. But the true clincher wasn’t even the kinky sex we had. It was the moment when she said I was a good person. She didn’t make me feel worthless like almost every other goddamn person in my life. There’s no way I’m telling these two that, though. Trip is already bad enough with his psychobabble bullshit.
Trip grips my shoulder. “Look. What you need is to get your mind off her. Come out with me and Tyke, find a hot chick and bang her. That’s all you really need, dude—a good lay. Maybe that’ll help you let her go.”
I shrug his hand off. “I don’t want to let her go.”
He yanks my shoulder, halting me from storming off. “If she doesn’t want you, then you have to. That’s how this shit works.”
I grind my teeth together. It isn’t like I don’t know that already. I hate it when he makes so much logical fucking sense. There’s an ounce of hope left in me that she’s not done with me yet.
I glance from Trip to Tyke. “Fine we’ll go out, but I’m not in the mood to score chicks.”
Tyke sighs. “Well you’ll be an awesome wingman tonight.”
I roll my eyes. “Please, like you two need my help to rope in the pu-tang.”
We all laugh in unison as we make to the door of Big Bertha. Trip and Tyke skid to a stop at the top of the steps in front me. What the fuck?
I shove around them and instantly freeze, too. What the hell is she doing here?
Sophie stands in the middle of the bus, looking as flawless as ever in her long, blonde ponytail that sits high on her head. Her porcelain skin has a slight redness on her cheeks, no doubt a side effect of the little baby bump she’s sporting.
I clench my jaw tight. Why is she here?
Trip clears his throat. “Should we leave? Looks serious in here.”
Noel shakes his head as he glares at Mike and Sophie. “No. Stay. You’re just in time to hear some secret Sophie’s been keeping.”
Trip pulls himself up on the counter, making himself comfortable, and Tyke leans next to him while pulling his lips into a tight line. Trip leans forward and places his elbows on his thighs. He’s ready to jump in and mediate the situation if need be, I’m sure. His ass loves drama.
I flex my jaw muscles as I step into Sophie’s direct view. This is my chance to get some fucking answers. “How many more secrets can she possibly have?”
She doesn’t even bother to acknowledge me as I walk to the other side of the counter where the twins are.
Mike frowns at Lanie and then flicks his eyes back to Sophie. Agony is the only emotion I can read on Mike’s face.
Sophie locks her gaze on the couple in front of her. Lanie’s small hand squeezes Noel’s arm in a sign of support.
Sophie sighs like she’s totally put out. “The baby doesn’t belong to Noel.”
My fingers curl into fists.
Noel yells, “WHAT?” at the exact same time I do.
Mike stands beside Sophie and threads his fingers through hers. “It’s mine.”
Noel’s hands fly into his hair, and he grabs handfuls of it in his fingers. He paces back and forth with his eyes closed.
He whips his head towards me, and his eyebrows shoot up. He wasn’t lying. This entire time he was telling me the fucking truth and I made his life a living hell every chance I got. Guilt fills every inch of me.
“Told you I never fucked your girl,” Noel says to me. “I would never do that shit to you!”
Rage fills me causing my lips to twist and my nostrils flair. Who the fuck does she think she is? Does she even know how much fucking pain and hurt she’s caused this band with her selfish fucking ways? Does she even care? When I can no longer keep from lashing out at her, I shout, “You fucking slut!”
My words echo in my ears as I turn and storm off the bus. The pavement’s solid under my boots as I head towards the back of the bus. I rub my face, wishing I could rub away all of my frustration.
I lean back against Big Bertha and tilt my head towards the sky. I can’t believe it. This entire time Noel and I have been fighting for no reason while that asshole Mike let us have at each other. Pure, unadulterated anger flows through my veins and I crunch my hands into fists. That douche needs to be taught a lesson. He fucking played us all.
I shove myself away from the bus before I round the corner and run smack into Noel.
Noel takes a step back. “Easy, buddy, where you off to?”
I take a deep breath through my nose and try to side step him. “Get out of the way.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t do that. You and your fucking temper need to cool it. Let it go, man. Those lying fuckers deserve each other. They aren’t worth it.”
I throw my hands out towards the bus. “How can you be so fucking calm about this? Don’t you want to beat his ass?”
“I’m not saying I’m not pissed. I’m fucking livid with them. But...now that the truth is out I can get my life back. We can be friends again. Lane won’t hate me anymore. I can be happy again.”
I nod. I know exactly how he feels. I’d give anything to feel like that. “You’re right. It’s all working out for you.”
I shove my hands deep in my jean pockets and stalk off to the nearest bar to text Aubrey some more.
AUBREY
Way too early in the morning my phone rings again. Damn that boy. Hasn’t he ever heard of giving a girl a little space? I grab my phone. It’ll probably be best if I shut it off. I don’t have to be at work today and I prefer to sleep in on my days off.
The second I turn it off, I hear my front door knob rattle. I sit up and gasp, thinking quick of what to grab to stop a burglar. New York is famous for apartment robberies. I tiptoe through my bedroom and into the front room in the dark. Once I glance around and make sure no one has gained entry to my apartment, I rush to the front door.
I slam my body against the wooden door. “I’m calling the cops!”
“Aubrey, it’s me,”
Lanie says from the other side of the door.
What’s she doing back already? She’s not due back here for a couple more days.
I click the deadbolt and fling the door open. “What’s going on? You all right?”
She shakes her head as she wheels her suitcase inside the apartment. “No. It was too much. I had to get away from there.”
I scrunch my brow. “Did something else happen?”
“Sophie showed up.”
“As in the pregnant chick?”
She nods and then flops down on the couch. “It’s not Noel’s baby.”
My heart pounds against my rib cage as I sit next to her. “Does that mean it’s...”
I swallow hard as I think about the possibility that this baby is Zach’s child. I don’t want a relationship with him, but the realization that it will never be an option stings. Why does this news feel so crushing on my heart?
“It’s not Riff’s either if that’s what you’re thinking. The baby belongs to their bodyguard, Mike.”
“How do you know that?”
Lanie shrugs. “Riff can’t have children.”
I tilt my head. “What makes you say that?”
She stares at me dumbfounded. “I figured telling someone that you’re sterile might come up before you do the deed.”
My mouth drops open. No wonder he was okay having sex with me without a condom. He knew there was no way he could knock me up. It also explains why Sophie would try to pin a baby on another man in the band. She was probably hoping to get some cash out of the situation.
I lean back against the couch. “Do you know why he’s sterile?”
She pulls her lips into a tight line. “Something about some sort of accident...that’s all I know.”
“Was his sister involved?”
She shakes her head. “I really don’t know. Why do you ask?”
Things click in my head. The moment we started talking about Hailey, Zach completely shut down. I’m beginning to think there’s a lot more to that story than he led on.
I know he doesn’t have a great relationship with his father. I overheard them yelling at one another over money on the phone the morning after I’d slept with him.
“You okay?”
I shake away my thoughts. “Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know, you look...distracted, like you figured something out.”
I nod. “I think I did.”
Zach’s definitely got some secrets, like he was implying. If only I knew what he’s hiding.
Monday morning Isaac stops at my desk. He’s particularly dashing in his pinstriped suit and matching tie. Every blond hair on his head lays perfectly groomed, while he smiles his dazzling, white smile at me.
“Good morning, Isaac. I have those memos you asked for all ready.” I hand him a file with all the letters I typed since he likes to double check my work.
“Thanks. Say, I hear Lanie Vance is back today. Still didn’t get any details from her?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, but I do know that she’s worked on some things and has a proposal for the marketing campaign all drawn out.”
He grimaces. “I already turned the proposal into Diana last week.”
“Why? I thought you wanted her input?”
“I did, but there was no time. Diana wanted it from me, so I worked it up with you and presented it to her.”
I rub my forehead. Great. I am the world’s worst friend. Lanie’s going to walk into Diana’s office with hope and optimism and she’s going to be crushed. I look down at my watch. I have a few minutes before she’s due to report to Diana. Better late than never, right?
“Where are you going?” Isaac asks as I rush past him.
“Something I should’ve done to begin with.”
I make it to the elevator as it opens. Lanie stands there in her blue blouse and pencil skirt with her project folder in her hand.
“Oh, thank God.” I shove her back in the elevator and press the lobby button.
Her eyes widen. “Aubrey, what the hell are you doing?”
I hold myself up against the wall as I try to catch my breath after hurrying down the hall. “I’m sorry, Lanie. I’m a shitty friend, and I should’ve told you earlier, but Diana has had my boss Isaac working on Black Falcon’s account behind your back.”
Her eyes narrow. “She what?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know much more than that, but I can’t allow you to walk into a meeting with Diana blind.”
She sighs. “How long have you known?”
My lips turn down. “Before Dallas.”
“Before Dallas? Are you freaking kidding me right now? You knew about this and didn’t tell me? Why?” Her gestures are wild. She’s pissed. She only ever gets that way when she’s livid.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to walk out on the opportunity to be something in this company. It’s your dream to be here. But, the main reason was because I know you’re in love with Noel. I wanted to give you time to figure out your feelings for him and admit to yourself that you love him.”
Her shoulders sag and tears fill her eyes. “I do love him, but I think I’ve ruined everything. I ran out on him...again. He’s never going to forgive me.”
I wrap my arms around her. “He loves you. He’ll forgive you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, but I didn’t want you to get angry and walk out on your job here and out on a chance to be happy with Noel. Please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you,” she says and then squeezes me tighter. “You’re my best friend and I love you. You were only trying to do what you thought was right.”
I pull back as the elevator doors open to the lobby. “Thank you. Now...” I punch the twentieth floor button. “Go have your meeting with Diana and kill it. Make her love your ideas!”
She explains all of her ideas for the project on our ride up. They’re pretty amazing and I hope Diana gives her a chance. Lanie’s a smart cookie.
My mind keeps drifting back to the physical pain I saw when Lanie talked about ruining her relationship with Noel. I owe her and I have to see if I can help fix things.
Chapter 15
RIFF
I lie in my hotel bed and stare up at the ceiling. It’s nearly two in the afternoon, and yet I haven’t found motivation to get out of this bed. Trip and Tyke went out solo last night. Noel headed to his room right after the show and so did I. We’ve gone from partying, womanizing maniacs to pathetic saps because the women who we want don’t want us back.
My cell phone buzzes on the bed beside me. I grab it and then look down at the number on the screen. My heart pauses for a beat.
“Hello?” Aubrey doesn’t answer on her end of the line. Fuck! Did she butt-dial me? “Are you there?”
“Hey. Yeah. I’m here,” she answers quietly.
“I’m glad you called, I wanted to say I’m sorry for not calling you back that night. I know how that looks, and I apologize.” Whether she accepts it or not, it feels good to get it off my chest. “Relationships aren’t something I’m used to doing, so I’m afraid I’m not very good at them.”
She sighs into the phone. “I’m sorry too for not giving you a chance to explain yourself. I don’t want to get hurt.”
My stomach clenches. “That’s exactly why I distanced myself. I’m not a good person, Kitten. You deserve better than me.”
“How do you know that? I could be the biggest bitch you’ve ever met.”
“No you’re not. I’ve spent enough time with you to know you’re exactly the opposite.”
“Zach...I’m not a very good person either. I set out to use you.”
A sharp pain around my heart only hurts for a second. “I know, but you cared more about me in those two days than any other woman I’ve ever been with.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “My own mother didn’t even care enough about me to ask how I felt about my sister’s deat
h, yet you tried.”
It sounds worse when I say the things that play through my mind out loud, but it’s true. Mom hated me until the day she died. It was hard enough dealing with what I did without having my own family loathe me.
Aubrey’s quiet for a few moments and I wonder if I’ve freaked her out with all my self-hate. Finally, she says, “That’s terrible you had to not only deal with the loss of your sister, but a strained relationship with your parents. I don’t understand how she could’ve been so cold to you knowing you were only sixteen years old. Did they not realize you’d be hurting, too?”
This is the part I never want to talk about. But, seeing as how I’ve already opened myself up to her and she’s still talking to me, I figure what the hell? She might as well judge me for the real me fully. One of the biggest things in any relationship is trust. I need to be able to trust that she’s okay with the real me, evil parts and all.
I swallow hard. “She did that because she blamed me.”
“Why would she blame you?” Aubrey’s voice is calm, like she’s not sure what she got herself into.
It’s too much, too soon. I have to back off so I don’t freak her out any more than I already have. “It’s really not a big deal. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”
Another awkward pause on her end indicates to me she’s getting scared off. I start to open my mouth to apologize for dropping all my emotional baggage shit on her, but quickly shut it when she starts speaking again. “I am actually calling for a favor.”
I raise my eyebrow. “So this call wasn’t just about us?”
She clears her throat. “No, but I’m glad we talked. I like that you’ve opened up to me.”
“I’m waiting for the day when you figure out what a piece of shit I really am and tell me to fuck off for good.”
“Zach...I really wish you didn’t think so poorly of yourself. You’re an awesome person and friend. I mean, you warned Lanie about the baby situation. I wish you could see what I see.”
“What do you see?” Is it too much to hope that I may actually have a shot with this woman?
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