Gerry Bartlett - Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

by Gerry Bartlett

  “Promise me you won’t go out there again.” His hands were on my shoulders now, his eyes boring into mine.

  “I won’t promise that. There are just a few more days until I never have to see Ian again. Give me that, Jerry.” I looked away because there was so much I wasn’t telling him. And he’d absolutely kill Valdez when he found out how those supplements had done a number on me.

  “I assume you’ve taken Valdez with you to these meetings with MacDonald.” His words hit me like ice chips.

  Uh-oh. Was Jerry somehow reading my mind through my block? No, not possible. He just knew me too well. Obviously Rafe was already in deep guano.

  “I swore him to secrecy. Sorry, Jer, but if he can’t be loyal to me first, I won’t have him around, period.” I jerked back, taking Jerry by surprise. “You want me to go it alone? Fine.”

  “Hardheaded, impossible woman!” Jerry ran his hand through his hair, his go-to move when he was exasperated. If a vampire could age, he’d be bald by now. “Keep Valdez. I should send you more guards.”

  “No. Ray has another paranormal guard and I had Flo and Richard with me tonight. I had backup out the yin-yang. Not that I needed it. Ian acted the perfect gentleman.” I reached out to touch Jerry’s cheek. His beard was rough, typical for this late at night. I moved closer. “I love that you’re so concerned for me. Love that you want to see me safe. I’m not stupid, Jerry. I’m being very careful. Richard’s investigating Ian. Talk to him tomorrow night. Maybe you can help him.”

  “Of course I can. I can help him send the worm to dust.” Jerry jerked me to him and kissed me breathless. “God help me, I don’t want to lose you, Gloriana. Why you persist in stepping into the lion’s mouth, I don’t know.” He looked like he wanted to shake me. Instead he just shook his head. “Have a care.” With that he turned on his heel and walked away.

  “Well.” I sighed and headed into the hotel. The ride up in the elevator was long enough for me to snap to the fact that all Jerry had promised was to stake Ian. Great. I stepped into the suite, greeted by Valdez back in his usual Labradoodle form.

  “How’d he take it? You did tell him, didn’t you?” He followed me to the bedroom door. “Your hair’s wet. Did he throw you into the ocean?”

  “I told him. My hair’s wet from a nice swim before I told him.” I kicked off my high heels. “Let’s just say he didn’t take it well. And the only reason you still have a job is because I threatened to go solo.”

  “Ouch.”

  I threw open the bedroom door. “Where’s Ray?” I turned when I heard the hall door open.

  “Here I am. Didn’t think I’d get away before sunrise.” He grinned and began unbuttoning his shirt. “Man, I’m beat.” He stopped and studied me. “Whoa, what’s wrong, sweet thing?”

  I kept my mouth shut. Where to start? Ray reeked of sex. Okay, so he’d been getting some of his own. Not my business. I picked up the bottle of supplement I had to drink before bedtime and twisted off the cap.

  “I told Jerry about Ian. He was pissed to say the least. Now I’m afraid to drink this, which will probably give me nightmares. So I’m not in a good mood. How was your night?”

  “Not so great either.” Ray sat on the side of the bed and watched me put down the supplement. “I admit you got me to thinking about the rush when I saw how you looked after you drank from Trina. So I arranged to hook up with DeeDee after she had a workout.”

  “Nice.” I felt my lip curl and fought to suppress it. “Did you feel it? Was it the endorphin high you were looking for?” There. That actually sounded like casual interest as I took off my cardigan and hung it up.

  “The feeding part was great. But then I realized something.” Ray yawned and stretched, then dropped his shirt on the bed beside him.

  “Oh, care to share your breakthrough?” I was not jealous. Seriously. How could I be? I’d just had my own hookup with a man I loved. Still, I really didn’t want to hear this as I leaned over to set my shoes on the closet floor.

  “Wait a minute.” Ray stood and walked over to stand behind me. “Look at you. Ian’s stuff really works. How much weight have you lost?”

  I straightened and turned around, a flush heating my cheeks. “Five pounds.”

  “Hot damn!” Ray hugged me around the waist. “I can feel it! Now, that’s what I’m talking about. This is so worth it.”

  Oh, yeah, Ray had paid what was probably more than the price of his luxury SUV for me to go down a dress size. I put some enthusiasm into hugging him back.

  “Ray, I’ll never be able to thank you properly for paying for this. I’m thrilled. No matter what Jerry says, Ian’s a genius. Obviously his treatment is working!” I extricated myself and yawned. “I need to get into my nightgown. It’s almost dawn.”

  “Right.” Ray nodded to Valdez. “Leave us, fur face. I need to tell Glory something.”

  “I don’t answer to you, Caine.” Valdez stayed in the doorway.

  “No, it’s okay. See you tomorrow night.” I waved him out and shut the door. “What’s up, Ray?” I hoped this wasn’t about that daylight drug.

  “I’m sorry for throwing DeeDee in your face. I don’t have feelings for her. I hope you know that.” Ray approached me again and toyed with the strap on my camisole.

  “Who or what you do on your own time is your business, Ray. I wouldn’t dream of interfering.” I gently removed his finger from under the strap.

  “It’s just that I realized tonight that what I did with her was meaningless. The only buzz I got was from her mortal juice.” Ray’s hand was back, this time at my waist. “Man, look at you. This skirt is loose.” He pulled my camisole out of the waistband.

  “So you’re telling me sex with a mortal doesn’t do it for you anymore?” I should have already disappeared into the bathroom, but I was kind of interested in this conversation. I’d had mortal lovers in the past, but it had been a long time ago. Frankly, I preferred vampire men myself. Especially when we could do the whole fang-banging thing too. It’s like an extra orgasm. And I’d missed it tonight. Sigh.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s right. Of course I haven’t had sex with a vampire. Yet.” Ray leaned in and smelled my neck where my vein throbbed. “Mmm. I’d love to compare.”

  “I’ll just bet you would. But it won’t be with me. At least not tonight. The clock’s ticking and it would have to be the quickest of quickies even if I was willing, which I’m not.” I grinned and pushed him back. “But do me a favor.”

  “What?” Ray toed off his loafers and kicked them into the closet.

  I held out my wrist. “Jerry said my blood tastes funny. Take a bite and see if he’s right. I think maybe Ian’s junk is doing more than making me lose weight. Richard mentioned poison.”

  “Holy shit, Glory!” Ray pulled my wrist to his mouth. Before I could say another word, he’d taken my vein. After only a moment, he pulled out and headed to the bathroom. I heard him spit into the sink and water running.

  “What did it taste like?” I followed him and put my hand on his bare back while he rinsed out his mouth. He shuddered.

  “I hate to tell you this, but Richard may be right.” Ray turned to look at me, frown lines between his bright blue eyes. “Baby, if what’s in your veins isn’t poisoned, it’s doing a hell of an imitation.”

  Nine

  “I don’t believe that for a minute, Ray.” I’d dragged on my nightgown and was lying on my side of the bed. Ray settled next to me and stared at me worriedly.

  “I’m not kidding you, Glory. You tasted toxic. You said Blade wouldn’t even drink from you.”

  Tears filled my eyes and I swiped at them. “No, he wouldn’t.”

  “Aw, honey, don’t cry.” Ray pulled me into his arms. “We’ll worry about this when we wake up. You’re not going to drink another supplement then, are you?”

  “No.” I sniffled. “Which means I’m not sure I’ll keep off the weight I’ve lost.” I wanted to wail. Had I suffered for nothing? My stomach ached fro
m throwing up and from those damned crunches. And my legs! All that jogging and then wearing high heels for hours had taken a toll. At least when I woke up, I’d be good to go. I felt the dawn coming and gladly closed my eyes.

  I hadn’t confessed to Ray, though, that while he’d been in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I’d downed the nighttime supplement Ian had given me. Maybe it had been a stupid move, but it hadn’t made me sick, just helped keep the weight off. And it allowed me to dream.

  Maybe I’d have good dreams this time. When I was a little girl, I’d dreamed of knights and castles and a fairy-tale life. Jerry had made some of those dreams come true. Too bad he’d brought along wicked witches in the form of his mother and Mara, mother of his child and the woman who now wanted him for her second husband.

  Mara danced around me. She had me tied to a stake in the public square. Mag, Jerry’s mum, piled sticks around my feet.

  “Ye’ll burn for the witch ye are, ye whore.”

  I laughed and looked around. “Which am I, old woman, a witch or a whore?” I knew Jerry would ride in soon on his white horse and save me. He always did.

  Mara carried a torch and set the branches alight. “There. Now you’ll be all toasty. That’s what you get for consorting with a MacDonald. Even I never sank so low. That’s why Jeremiah loves me now. See the ring he gave me?” She waved a huge diamond in my face and screamed with laughter. Then she came at me with scissors, hacking away until I was bald. I could hear the sizzle as my blond curls fell into the flames.

  “That should please ye, whore. Bet you lost a good pound with that haircut.” Mag cackled and tossed another branch on the fire.

  “Here they come, the MacDonalds and the Campbells! Hide!” Women screamed and ran when men in kilts rode into the square from opposite sides.

  I heard the clash of swords and the squeal of wounded horses as the men fought. Wasn’t anyone going to untie me? The flames were getting hotter and I could smell my feet burning. Ow. I hurt so bad.

  “Jerry! Where are you?” I screamed.

  “Leave her. She’s a traitor to the clan.” Jerry’s voice, hard and cold. He rode past, his plaid flapping in the wind, and never bothered to look my way as I called his name over and over.

  “She’s mine now. I’ll save you, Glory.” Ray stopped his horse and jumped down, but his bucket was empty. He cursed and threw a white toweling robe on the blaze, then black satin jockey shorts. Stupid. The fire roared and got hotter.

  He knelt in the dirt and picked up a guitar. “I’ll sing to you, Glory. I wrote a new song in your memory. It’s called ‘Gone, Glory, Gone.’ I’m going to put it on my new CD.”

  “Get me out of here! Ray, shut up and do something!” I staggered, suddenly free. Run. I had to run, but my feet hurt. I bumped into something hard and almost fell.

  “Glory! What the hell?” Valdez grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. I pressed my face against his chest and held on.

  “Feet hurt. Hot.” I muttered it against him, feeling him move as he carried me away from the heat.

  “I know. You got too damned near . . . Never mind. I’ve got you now.” He laid me down gently.

  Ah. Bed. I sighed and relaxed. Then I opened my eyes. He stood over me. The man Valdez, not the dog. Sunlight behind him made me blink. My vision blurred, then I realized this wasn’t a dream anymore.

  Valdez snatched up a pillow and held it in front of him. Oh, yeah. He’d told me he was usually naked when he shifted into his dog-body form for long periods of time.

  “I’m awake and it’s daytime.”

  “No shit, Sherlock. You made it halfway across the living room before I realized what the hell I was seeing. You were sleepwalking.” Valdez lost the lopsided grin and dimples that always surprised me. Well, I’d actually only seen them once before. He had dimples on his cute butt too, but I wasn’t supposed to remember that. “You had a near miss. I caught you just a few inches from stepping into sunlight.”

  “This isn’t happening.” I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus. Impossible. I hadn’t seen daylight in forever. Instead of being thrilled, I was suddenly terrified.

  “Afraid it is.” He stepped closer and frowned down at me. “You okay?”

  “I don’t know. I had another one of those nightmares.” I tried to sit up, but my muscles screamed. “Oh, God, my stomach’s killing me.”

  “More nausea?” He sat on the side of the bed, careful to keep that pillow in position. I wasn’t so freaked-out that I didn’t notice his great build. Bodyguard requirement. Along with his superpowers. The handsome face, dark hair and dark eyes were just perks. No wonder Brittany was all over him.

  “Not nausea. Guess I didn’t get enough healing vamp sleep to actually heal. I think I’m sore from my training session with Bill the pill.” I yawned, exhausted. “How long before sunset?”

  “About an hour. Are your feet okay? You said something about them being hot.”

  We both looked down at my bare feet. That was when I realized my long gown had ridden up to thigh high. Oops. I jerked it down.

  “They’re just sore from too much jogging and cute shoes.” I sighed. “I’m lucky you were there to catch me before I got to the balcony. If I’d actually gotten in the sun . . .” I shuddered. “But that’s why I have my trusty bodyguard.” I smiled at Rafe. “You’ll love this. I dreamed Mara and Mag burned me at the stake.” I managed a chuckle. “Go figure.”

  “Sounds like a typical mortal nightmare. You and those two always manage to have heated words when you cross paths.” Rafe grinned when I groaned, then he got serious again. “And your trusty bodyguard was asleep at the wheel to let you get as close as you did to that sunlight. I’m sorry, Glory. I’m going to be on high alert from now on. You look like hell, and that’s a fact. I’m worried about you.”

  I put my hand on his. “Thanks, Rafe. I’m okay, just tired and feeling every muscle in my body for a change. Guess this is what four hundred plus feels like.”

  Rafe shook his head. “Doubt it. That would be much, much worse, I imagine. Now, close your eyes. Maybe you can catch some more z’s. You obviously need them.”

  I glanced at Ray. He really was dead to the world. No movement at all. Pale. I laid my hand on his chest. Cool to the touch and no discernable heartbeat.

  “You know Caine’s going to freak when he realizes you saw daylight, don’t you?”

  “Don’t you dare tell him, Rafe.” I grabbed his arm. “He’ll want to rush right out to Ian’s place and buy a chance at it.” I groaned because I’d felt that sudden movement in every abused muscle.

  “Maybe you should let him.” Rafe looked down to where I held on to him. “MacDonald’s diet thing is working on you.”

  “True. But obviously there are side effects.” I glanced at the open bedroom door. I could see the sunlight hitting the carpet in the suite’s living room. “Besides, I have trust issues with Ian MacDonald. Blade tasted my blood last night and said there was something off about it. So I had Ray taste it too.” I shuddered. “Rafe, Ray thinks Ian is poisoning me.”

  “That does it. The man is dead.” Valdez jumped up, pillow forgotten.

  My jaw dropped, then I forced myself to shut my eyes. I cleared my throat. “We’ll discuss this when Ray and I get up at sunset. Guess you ought to shift back now.”

  “Relax, Glory. I’m decent.”

  More than decent. Oops. Didn’t say that out loud, did I? No, thank God. I stole a peek. Yeah, his pillow was back in place.

  “You did save my butt today, pal. I would have fried if I’d made it to the balcony.” My throat suddenly clogged.

  “Damn straight. That’s why I changed, Glory.” He reached out and touched my cheek. “You’re not coming to harm on my watch, lady. And that’s a promise.”

  I cleared my throat. “I know that. I’ve always known that. ‘Thank you’ seems pretty lame, but it’s all I’ve got. Thanks, Rafe.” I sniffed, feeling weepy again. Like I had with Ray, the night before. I was blaming it on
the diet stuff.

  “You’re welcome.” He smiled, his dimples brief punctuation marks that vanished too soon. “I’ll say it again: You never should have gotten so close to the balcony. I’ve gone soft or I’d have stopped you at the bedroom door.”

  I swept my eyes over him. Soft? Maybe the thick black hair that fell to his shoulders, but nothing else on this powerful man could ever be called soft. Tears filled my eyes. He’d risk everything for me without a second thought. I didn’t deserve it.

  “I never should have started this. I’m an idiot.”

  Valdez firmed his lips. “No, you’re not. MacDonald’s slick. He’s obviously been running this con a long time. Just look at his video, Web site and fancy digs.”

  “Yeah.” I sighed. “Tired. Sleep now.” I closed my eyes. “Hey, V.”

  “What?”

  I opened my eyes again and got a flash of his perfect dimpled buns. Sweet. I smiled. “It was nice to talk to you like this. Outside of my head for a change.”

  “Yeah, it was. See you later.” He smiled and disappeared into the living room.

  I snuggled next to Ray and realized that, aches and pains aside, I was incredibly lucky. I was literally surrounded by hot guys determined to protect me. No way did I deserve it, but I sure wasn’t going to turn any of them away.

  “Okay, Glory, it’s time to figure out our next move.” Ray pulled me down on the couch beside him.

  I held back a scream when my sore thighs hit the seat. Valdez, safely back in Labradoodle guise, sat on the rug in front of us.

  “The limo will be here to pick me up in about an hour. Ian will expect me to come out there to drink from Trina again.”

  “You’re not going.” Valdez glanced at the balcony.

  “V’s right. You want a runner, we can head out and find you one in a park or get someone coming out of a gym. If Ian’s stuff is poisonous . . .” Ray picked up my hand. “How do you feel?”