Gerry Bartlett - Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

by Gerry Bartlett

  “I was busy. DeeDee knows the score.” Ray shrugged, pulled down his jacket, then reached out to straighten my neckline that he’d managed to slip aside until it showed a trace of nipple. The elevator doors opened at the lobby.

  “Here we go. Showtime.” He grinned at me. “My life’s in your hands.”

  “I know that. Believe me, I know that.” I threw back my shoulders, on high alert. Between the two of us, I was the strong one here, the experienced vampire. Ray was a newbie, just coming into his skills. And his mortals would be useless if we ran across any paranormal threat. I actually felt a rush, though the odds of encountering a paranormal hit squad were slim to none. Okay, okay, that was a relief. I’m not an idiot.

  We headed out of the main lobby entrance. Other celebrities were also taking off for a night out and the paparazzi were in a feeding frenzy. But they noticed me on Ray’s arm and my new look.

  “This way, Glory. What diet are you on?”

  “Who did your lipo?”

  “Did you lose the baby?”

  The lipo question made me wonder if there had been a mole in the production staff of the TV show. The baby question was so crude and disgusting I sent the idiot a mental message that made him go pale and back away. After that, I refused to say a word as we hurried into the limo. Ray and I settled back, the two guards facing us as we drove to the first party.

  Ray grabbed my hand. “Damned paparazzi. I’m sorry about that, Glory.”

  “Comes with the territory, I guess. Not your fault.” I smiled at him, then leaned in to whisper in his ear. “I scared that one photographer. He’s going somewhere so he can look and see if he’s still got something between his legs.”

  Ray laughed. “Baby, I like the way you think.”

  “Yeah, I just wish I had the power to make stuff like that really happen.” I eased my hand out of his and adjusted the silk wrap that matched my dress. “Tell me about this party we’re going to.”

  “My record label’s throwing this bash. I already had Nate spread the word that I’m on the wagon.” Ray frowned and sat back. “Of course the execs were happy to hear that. Didn’t know I had such an obvious problem.”

  I covered his hand where it rested on my thigh. “Just the insiders knew. Your fans didn’t have a clue unless they believed some of the meaner tabloid stories.” Ray had been on the brink of going into rehab for alcoholism when he’d been made vampire. It had been tough for him to realize his drinking days were over when he’d awakened to a liquid diet that wasn’t his favorite Jack Daniel’s. Bummer for him. Then to find out he couldn’t see daylight again either . . . When you don’t choose to become vampire, like I did, it can be a pretty depressing reality.

  “Well, the upside is I’ve made the powers that be at the label very happy with my new sober work ethic. They really like my new tunes on the upcoming album. Now all I have to do is get them used to my crazy new work schedule. Of course I’ve always been pretty much a night owl. Never really appreciated the daylight before. But now . . . Hell, next time it’ll be different.” Ray turned his hand over and squeezed my fingers. “I’m not bugging you about this anymore. Or arguing about it tonight either. I’m sure it’s not a bit sexy.” He nodded toward the mortals who were both plugged into iPods to give us privacy. I didn’t doubt they could still hear us, though.

  “We can talk about this later.” The limo was slowing and I could see another crowd gathered around a canopy in front of a restaurant. Our car was in a slow-moving line, until it was our turn and the guards jumped out first.

  “Israel Caine!” Female screams made it clear that Ray still had plenty of female fans as a throng pushed against velvet ropes, and policemen kept the crowds back. Ray stopped and signed a few autographs, then waved at the crowd and escorted me inside. We left the bodyguards by the door and headed into the darkened restaurant that had apparently been totally taken over for the party. M.A.S. Records logos were everywhere, the bloodred letters on black background unmistakable, along with O.B.G. Sounds, the rock division that was Ray’s label. One of the Grammy-nominated hits was loud and proud, played by a DJ. Scantily clad waitresses in tight white O.B.G. T-shirts, cut off to show their tiny waists, circulated, taking drink orders. Ray and I took our token glasses of sparkling water and pretended to sip.

  We saw famous faces everywhere and Ray knew everyone. I was in fangirl heaven and had a hard time pretending to be cool. I wished Flo could have met the hunky country star we’d both drooled over in a video one night. Or the older man whose music we’d both had fun dancing to back in the sixties. I just hung on to Ray’s arm and kept smiling. Then I caught a whiff of something I’d never expected to smell here. Vampire.

  I looked around. No, not just one vampire, but several. Holy crap. I didn’t feel menace, but that didn’t mean Ray and I couldn’t end up with our throats ripped out. We didn’t know any of the Los Angeles vampires. I did have names I could throw around. Jerry, Richard and Damian had talked to the Council. Maybe they’d mentioned us. Let it be known we were in town and meant no harm. I gave Ray an elbow.

  “What, baby? Let me introduce you to Celine.” Ray pulled me forward. “Glory’s a big fan. Has all of your CDs. We meant to make your show before you left Vegas.”

  “Ray’s right. I just love you.” I babbled and almost spilled water all over the famous singer. But I couldn’t concentrate. I had to get Ray alone. I finally sent him a mental message.

  “Ray, there are vampires here. Several. Sniff the air. See if you can pick them out.”

  Ray’s eyes widened and he leaned in to kiss Celine’s cheek. “Great to see you again. E-mail me your concert schedule and maybe we can connect.” We watched her disappear into the crowd. “Well, she’s not one.”

  I wanted to giggle hysterically. “I never thought she was.” I felt a presence behind me and knew the vampires had found us.

  “Come with me, please. There’s someone who wants to meet you, Mr. Caine, Ms. St. Clair.”

  Ray and I turned and there stood a pair of vampires who could have been just your ordinary record executives. Hey, I challenge you to pick them out of a crowd in any boardroom. Thousand-dollar suits. Silk ties. White shirts and expensive haircuts. One even sported horn-rimmed glasses à la Clark Kent. The pair was completely nonthreatening if you weren’t into mind reading. Unfortunately, Ray and I were able to get the mental message loud and clear. This wasn’t an invitation we could turn down.

  We were going to meet a big bad vampire whether we wanted to or not. Oh, yeah, and I was supposed to protect Ray. Uh-huh.

  Fifteen

  We followed the two vamps to the bar area of the restaurant where a blond man held court in a corner booth. It was obvious that bodyguards controlled who could and couldn’t gain access to this section of the room. Our host had a beautiful woman on each side of him. He whispered in their ears and they quickly slid out of the booth and hurried off.

  “Please, join me.” He smiled and gestured, and two goblets of what smelled like a new and very excellent synthetic blood were set on the dark wood table on either side of him. “So glad to finally meet you, Caine. And the beautiful Gloriana.”

  Ray nodded and I was proud of him. Even though this was probably the man who held his recording contract, he wasn’t about to shake hands with any vampire. We just stood there.

  “Sit. Both of you.” Now there was steel in his voice and the record execs were joined by two more muscular types.

  “Sure.” I smiled and slid in on one side of him. “I’m afraid I don’t know your name. Ray?” I looked at him where he still stood, obviously reluctant to just cave to a command. “Sit, baby, let’s get to know . . .”

  “Chip Rollins. I own M.A.S. Records. Caine should know that.” He smiled when Ray finally dropped into the booth on the other side.

  “Sure, I know who runs the show at M.A.S. Nice to finally meet you. Didn’t know you were”—Ray glanced around—“vampire.”

  “Of course not. Just like I didn�
�t know until recently that one of my stars had joined the club. I call us Masters of the Night.” Chip showed a hint of fang in his smile this time. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

  “Much nicer than freak or bloodsucker. I’m sure you’ve been called that a time or two. I know I have.” I smiled, picked up my glass and inhaled. “Mmm. This is something special, Mr. Rollins.”

  “Please, call me Chip. Only the best. That’s my motto in all things.” He glanced at Ray, who was obviously not a happy camper at being strong-armed away from the party. “My recording artists included, Ray. I won’t talk business tonight, but we will talk soon.”

  “Great. Looking forward to it.” Ray picked up his goblet and took a swallow. “This is good stuff. A club? Yeah, Glory said there might be a secret handshake.” Ray smiled. “I draw the line at matching T-shirts.”

  Chip laughed. “So do I.” He glanced at me. “You should teach your protégé to mask his thoughts better. Ray, I’m not insulted when you think I sound like a character from a comic book. Who do you think wrote those things back in the day?” He nodded toward the suit in the glasses, who took a bow. “I told Eric next time to make us the heroes. Vampires as superheroes. Why not?”

  “Better than bloodsucking fiends, I guess.” Ray smiled and let his fangs show.

  I sent Ray a mental message to remember who signed his checks. His attitude was surly despite the smile. Guess he didn’t like being surrounded by another vamp’s bodyguards. Neither did I. Now I regretted refusing to bring Brittany along. She was worth two of these guys. I looked them over again. Well, maybe not. Now, Valdez . . . Forget it. We were on our own. And Chip wasn’t about to harm one of his moneymakers anyway. I smiled too, minus the fangs. I knew Ray had just offered an insult to our host. Obviously we needed more lessons in vampire etiquette.

  “Ray’s initiation into the club is a recent thing, Chip.” I toyed with my glass but didn’t drink. Damn this diet. But my dress was cutting into my middle already.

  “Oh, I know that. I do my homework, Gloriana. I believe that’s your favorite, um, flavor. AB negative? You should try it.” Chip touched my hand and I shivered. “Or are you still dieting?”

  I set the glass down without tasting it. “You know a lot about me, Chip.”

  “Of course I do. No vampire enters my territory without being vetted.” He turned to Ray. “I must say I was surprised you and Gloriana went out to see MacDonald so soon after arriving.”

  “Didn’t realize we had to get permission. Oh, got to piss. Do I have to raise my hand?” Ray looked like he was spoiling for a fight.

  One of Chip’s men put his hand on Ray’s shoulder and Ray winced.

  Chip laughed. “Point taken.” He leaned forward and I could see Ray doing his best not to show the slightest reaction to the implied threat as Chip invaded his space.

  Sorry, but we could all feel Ray’s fear. New vampire. Not a chance he could mask his feelings that well. I gave in and sipped the synthetic. God, it tasted great and gave me a jolt of courage I needed.

  “Listen to me, Ray. I get that you want to see daylight. Hell, we all do.” Chip looked down at his own hand, a nice tan that had to have come from a spray. In fact, Chip could have fit right in with Ian’s surfer dudes. “We’re investigating MacDonald’s claims. The Council here is on top of the situation. You’d be wise to wait for our findings. You don’t want to go off half-cocked, do you? And wind up toasted?”

  “What the hell do you care what I do?” Ray wasn’t going to back down. Dumbass.

  I wanted to reach out to him. Do something. But Chip was between us and in Ray’s face. And it was clear the man was giving Ray a chance to learn a lesson. I just hoped to hell Ray paid attention. I tried to send Ray a mental message but he wasn’t receiving, totally focused on the man in front of him. Which was the first smart thing Ray’d done since we’d entered the bar.

  “I care, Ray, because I own you. Ask your buddy Nathan Burke. He made you a sweet deal. A long-term deal. With more money than you can ever spend. Or at least it was until you became immortal. Don’t throw that chance away.” Chip picked up his glass and took a healthy swallow. “Forget this. Bring me the redhead. I’m going upstairs with her.”

  He nodded and one of his muscle men “helped” Ray out of the booth.

  “Nobody owns me, Chip. I can buy my way out of your damned contract. There are other record companies.” Ray held out his hand and I slid from the other side of the booth.

  “Don’t be an idiot, Ray. Who else is going to understand your special needs? Your weird recording and appearance schedule, for instance. When you can only go out after dark. And did I complain when you couldn’t do all those promos on the talk shows?” Chip laughed and leaned back. “Hell, no. Because we’re brothers in this fraternity. I also understand that in a few years you’re going to have a little problem, bro.”

  “Oh, yeah? What? My voice will be golden forever.” Ray picked up his goblet of synthetic, took a swallow, then slammed the glass on the table. I moved close to him and grabbed his hand. He had a wild look in his eyes and I worried he’d try something we’d both regret.

  “Right. Sure, the voice will sing as sweet, but, Ray, you won’t age. How long can you stay in the public eye and not have that noticed? Hair plugs and face-lifts can explain away only so much.” Chip chuckled. “So you’ll have to disappear. And maybe reemerge after a few decades with a new look and start a new career as somebody else. You may not get to sing in public at all the next go-round.” He turned to the man in the glasses and said something in a foreign language. I had no idea which one.

  “Ask Eric here. We started out together centuries ago in the Balkans. We’ve been everything from Dutch to Russians to whatever. Doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs.” He and Eric laughed. “Okay, the Indian thing was too much of a stretch to try. The last twenty years it’s been L.A. and the music biz. That’s got about another twenty years of shelf life, then it’s on to something else and I’m a new person. Chip is no more.” Chip smiled at me. “Smart vampires live forever. The others . . . ? Gloriana can tell you, we reinvent ourselves. Over and over and over again. Am I right, lady?”

  “Ray knows that, Chip.” I made myself smile too, though I didn’t like Chip’s attitude.

  “Sure. Next life I’ll grow a beard and run charters down in the islands.”

  “Night charters?” Chip didn’t bother to hide his amusement.

  I saw the truth hit Ray hard. Just one more nail in his vampire coffin. He’d had one after another since that night he’d been turned. His grip tightened until I had to bump him with my hip to remind him to ease up. He dropped my hand and leaned both fists on the table.

  Chip’s bodyguards quickly moved in but Chip held up a hand and they stopped just short of jerking Ray up and slamming him against a wall or tearing him apart. Violence fairly shimmered in the air and I wanted to run the hell out of there. I laid my hand on Ray’s back and sent him frantic mental messages of caution.

  “Thanks for laying it all out there, Chip. Makes it easier for me to make a decision about my future.” Ray smiled tightly.

  Chip drained his glass. “You’ve been given a fantastic opportunity, Ray. I hope you have the balls to see this gig through.” He turned to me. “Gloriana, you’re his mentor. I think it’s time you showed Ray some of the wonders of being vampire. And, lady, if you don’t know what they are, I feel for you. I really do.” He gestured and I knew we were free to go.

  “Come on, Ray. Don’t we have another party to hit?” I grabbed his arm when I was afraid Ray was about to take a parting shot.

  “Just a minute, Glory. Now that I’ve got Chip here one-on-one and we’re frat brothers, so to speak, I have a question for him.” Ray gestured at the banner on the wall behind the booth. “What’s with all the initials? What does M.A.S. and O.B.G. stand for? No one knows or will tell, anyway. Drives Nate and me crazy. Now that I’m one of your Masters of the Night,” Ray said mockingly, “maybe you�
��ll let me in on the secret.”

  “Ray! Chip doesn’t have to tell you that.” Especially since Ray hadn’t exactly been Chip’s buddy for the last few minutes.

  “Relax, Gloriana. My vampire friends know and enjoy the irony. M.A.S. stands for Music At Stake, Ray.” Chip nodded and one of his men pulled a small and lethal-looking stake out of his jacket pocket. “We’re always vulnerable, aren’t we?” He laughed. “Put it away, Danny. You’re making our guests nervous.”

  Ray didn’t acknowledge the truth of that, just shrugged. “Okay, so what about O.B.G. Sounds? That’s my label.”

  “Yes. The one I use for my rockers.” Chip winked at me. “I spent the sixties in England. Did some producing with Paul and the Fab Four before it was time to head to L.A. So O.B.G. is for Only Bloody Great Sounds. You’re damned lucky I thought you were worth keeping under contract, Israel Caine. The way you were headed, the vampire deal and going on the wagon saved your career, my man.”

  “Yeah, got it.” Ray nodded, clearly finally ready to get out of there.

  “And don’t put down the Masters of the Night thing. If you stick around L.A., you’ll find there are some serious perks that go along with membership.” Chip leaned back, his smile full of fang. “Does your buddy Nate know you’re vampire?” He shook his head. “Of course he does. Rookies. Be careful who you let in on our secret, Ray. That’s a lesson I learned the hard way a long time ago. Now, run along, enjoy the party and think about what I said. You have an amazing talent, man. And an opportunity to live forever. Don’t blow it.” He turned when the beautiful redhead approached his table. “Ah, dinner is served.”

  Two hours later we were back at the hotel. Neither of us had been much in a party mood after the confrontation with Chip. We’d put in a token appearance at a big bash at a hotel ballroom for the Grammy nominees. There had been so many famous people there I’d gotten whiplash from gawking. Now we headed up to the suite. I’d called Flo from the limo and she was meeting me there to help me decide which dress to wear on the green carpet tomorrow night. I couldn’t really get excited about it. Not with Ray in a funk.