by Xyla Turner
Sleep did not come the way I would have liked. Every hour I was up with anxiety. I took a sleeping pill around 3AM, because I needed to be well-rested for Monday. If I didn’t sleep well Saturday evening, that would impact my Sunday, which would also affect my Monday. The sleeping pill did the trick and I woke up around 11AM on Sunday. There was a text from Roslyn, Elliot and three calls from Joshua. Roslyn was thanking me for inviting her to spa day, Elliot was checking on me since my breakdown a couple of days ago and Joshua didn’t leave any messages, just called and expected me to answer.
Something told me he’d be here at some point today. This would be something I’d usually talk to Trevor about, but seeing as he did have ulterior motives, I decided to cut that man loose. We’d be neighbors, say hi and bye, but that was about it. No more sharing ice cream, going to each other’s apartment, nothing like that. He’d deceived me. He knew Joshua and acted like he didn’t. He tried to blackmail Joshua and then tried to say I sought him out, like I was interested in him like that or like he had some control over me. I didn’t like that shit, but I’ll deal with him later. Who I needed to deal with was the man I would be working with on Monday.
I called Joshua and he answered on the second ring.
“Babe?”
“Hey Joshua, its Samantha.”
“Babe, I know it’s you. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, so I just wanted to clarify some things with you.”
“Okay, I’m on my way.”
“No need, we can do this over the phone.”
“No, I want to do this face-to-face,” he growled.
“No, I’d rather do this over the phone. So…”
“I’m coming over.”
I sighed, “Joshua, I said no. If you come over, I won’t let you in…so do this now or don’t do it at all.”
Silence met me. He didn’t say anything.
“Hello?”
“I’m here,” it sounded like he said through his teeth.
“So, as I was saying, here are my questions and I want straight answers.”
I heard a door close.
“Hello.”
“I’m here,” he answered again.
I knew he was on his way over here.
“Joshua, I swear to God, if you come over here, I will not let you in. I don’t give a fuck if you are the master of the free world, you will not keep ignoring my wishes. I have a big day tomorrow despite what you may think and I need time to prepare for all of that and sort this shit out with you.”
“What is there to sort out with me?” he asked.
“You, TEX, Trevor, me, us,” I breathed. “All of that needs to be sorted.”
“What about Trevor?”
“Out of all that I mentioned, you’re worried about Trevor?” I sighed, “God!”
“Look, why were you at my complex talking to Trevor, when you’ve never been there before, even to see me? How do you know Trevor? What is TEX? How come you didn’t tell me you’re a master there? Why was it a big secret? How come you didn’t want Trevor to tell me? What did you mean by you would end him? Why do you insist on keeping things from me?” I breathed.
He sighed, “Damn, babe.” He breathed again, “This is a face-to-face conversation. I do not want to talk about this shit over the goddamn phone.”
“Well, I suggest you try.”
“I went to talk to Trevor because he had your ear and I want to know everyone that you consider a friend. That’s not just because I’m overprotective of you, but you’d be surprised the people that try to be friends with people in my inner circle, just to have a stab at me. When I confronted Trevor, he said ‘I’ve been wondering when you would find me.’ Like he was expecting me or knew me well enough to know I investigate everyone who may pose a threat.”
A knock came on the door. I knew it was him. I just fucking knew it.
“Joshua, that’s you isn’t it?”
“Babe, your phone could be tapped and the shit I’m about to reveal is not for a phone conversation.”
He had a damn point.
Shit.
“Listen, when I say you need to go, you got to go. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I went to open the door and he was standing there, looking as delicious as ever with his hair slicked back, green sweater, leather jacket, jeans and shoes. This is why I didn’t want him here, he looked damn good. Unlike him, I was in pajama pants and a top with a scarf on my head, which I refused to take off. Hopefully, that would deter any hanky panky. I opened the door for him to come in and led him straight to the dining room table, where we could have our talk in a sterile and non-romantic setting. No beds, couch or anywhere he could lay me down. He followed me and sat across the table from me.
“Proceed,” I prompted him.
“Fine, I don’t know Trevor, but he knows me from TEX. That is a club for members of the BDSM lifestyle. It’s an exclusive club and only for people who can,” he lifted his index finger up and said, “one, afford to maintain the membership and,” he raised his middle finger up and said, “two, can be trusted enough to keep our business private. They thrive on that tidbit, privacy.”
“And you are a member and a master? What’s does a master do?”
“Yes, I’m a master in many different ways that I’d rather not get into, but I also do demonstrations for the club, which is how Trevor knows of me.”
“What kind of demonstrations?” I asked, half wanting to know and half not.
“Mostly suspensions and spankings.”
I lowered my head. I couldn’t help but reprimand myself, what the fuck had I stepped into? Would he want to suspend me? He put his hands on the table to reach for mine, but I drew them back. He kept his hands on the table with his palms up.
“Go on.” I prompted again, “Why keep this from me?”
He let out an exacerbated sigh, “Because I didn’t want you to react like this. I didn’t know how you felt about it, plus I haven’t been at the club in over two years.”
“You didn’t know how I’d feel about you being a master and in essence, I’d need to be a submissive or slave? Do you know me? I don’t submit and I’m no one’s damn slave.”
“Babe, I …..”
“You are full of secrets and lies of omission. I can’t trust you. I’m already confused about our whole situation, but you seem to know exactly how things will play out. I don’t know much about you, but you seem to know a lot about me, my friends, and business. This is how you live your life? Half-truths and innuendos? What else aren’t you telling me? I’m sure there is a butt load.”
He lowered his eyes to the table. Then he stood up and came around the table towards me. I stayed seated and facing the table, because I didn’t want to have this conversation like that. He would touch me and it’d be over.
“I’m a complicated man, Samantha. I make no apologies about that. You seem to find and pick things about us that you don’t like and make them into huge deals, which makes me think you don’t want for there to be an ‘us’ in the first place. You’ve fought me tooth and nail about this from the beginning. Maybe you are right. We should just be business partners.”
I winced at his words. That was a slap in the face, if I’ve ever had one. I guess this was his verbal payback for my physical slap. I stayed staring at the wall in front of me.
He continued, “Anything I’ve ever done or not said was to protect you, because I wasn’t sure how much you could handle and if I could trust you the way my heart insisted that I should. The jokes on me, I guess. You have Trevor to guide you through the ropes, why do you need me?”
“What in the actual fuck are you talking about? Have you lost your goddamn mind?” I jumped out of the chair and whirled on him.
He backed up and I exhaled loudly. I was done.
“You know what, you’re absolutely right. Business Partners it is,” I said as I walked past him towards my bedroom. “It’s was fun while it lasted.”
I gathered my clothe
s that he bought me and put them in a bag. I came from my room and he was still standing where I left him. I gave him the bag, then grabbed a note and wrote a quick thank-you to Larry.
“What is this?” he asked and held up the bag.
“Come on, time to go.” I had the note in my hand.
He followed me to the door and said, “Calm down Samantha.”
“Oh Joshua, I’m very calm. You have a nice evening and I will see you first thing tomorrow morning according to our schedule. Please give this to Larry.” I opened the door and waved for him to leave.
“Samantha, let’s pause for a second – okay? Let’s just take…”
I cut him off, “No, Joshua. You are right. I mean, it’s hurting me right now, but you are right. This is just too much to handle for both of us. It’ll be better if we could just focus on the business side of this relationship. Make you some more money and get this mobile icon off the ground, right? Let’s not do this and bring unnecessary hardship.” I looked at him in the face, “You said you would leave if I asked, now I’m asking.”
He looked down at me with a pain of regret, then it was gone. He nodded, took my note and walked out without looking back. I closed the door, laid out my clothes for tomorrow, ate a light dinner, took a sleeping pill and cried myself to sleep. This is why I shouldn’t have mixed business with pleasure, because I’d have to see this man for the next three months.
Chapter 16: Double Standards
JOSHUA:
I had gone and sealed the nail in the coffin. My heart ached and there wasn’t enough money in the world to fix that. The only good thing about this, was that I’d be able to see her for the next three months. She would be professional, I would do the same and that would be best for all parties involved. Why didn’t my heart understand that? This feeling was so foreign. When I called it off with Alura, before the whole marriage thing, I knew I didn’t love her, but at the time she was a convenience. She intrigued me, put up a challenge and then I’d gotten to know her and didn’t like what I found. Therefore, I called it quits. She didn’t want to, thought we’d make a fairy tale couple, but I wasn’t feeling any of that. If I didn’t know her grandfather well, I’d think the whole marriage idea to get the trust fund was Alura’s and not his.
By the time I made it to my empty penthouse, I lost it. I broke every lamp in the living room by throwing them against the wall. I’d been living in this penthouse for eight years and I’d never, not once felt lonely until now. I went to the gym and beat the bag until my arms couldn’t take it anymore. I stood in the shower and let the scalding water run over me, hoping to soothe my aching chest. Then I laid in bed and waited until sleep overtook me. It didn’t, so I just laid there staring at the ceiling, praying to God that I didn’t just give up my life partner.
The next day, or later in the morning since I didn’t get an ounce of sleep, I carefully got ready for work. I was excited to see her, I could admit. I wore my Dolce Gabbana custom brown suit, with the matching yellow shirt and striped yellow and brown tie and matched the interior of the suit. I always wore suits at work, so this wasn’t out of the ordinary. I wanted to look especially good, because I had to present to my marketing department and her team.
We all met in the marketing conference room. I knew she was there before I saw her come through the door. It was like I had Samantha telepathy. She was laughing with Vicki as she strode in, looking exquisitely professional with a turtle neck on to cover my markings, I presumed, a tight skirt suit that displayed her curves and those long legs. She even had on fuck-me heels. Goddamn. I adjusted myself discreetly. She sat at the other end of the table, therefore I sent a messenger to ‘ask’ her to sit at the head with me, so we’d be a united front during the presentation. She graciously nodded, walked up to me and said, “Good morning Mr. Kelly.”
“Good morning, Ms. Wilde,” I croaked, because there seemed to be something wrong with my voice.
She sat down and started going through her folders. I called attention to the meeting, had everyone sign the non-disclosure agreements, and presented the promo for Stark, our plan to partner with S&W, introduced Samantha and her crew to the group, and told them what we proposed. I asked Samantha if she had any words, she did – which basically was her saying she looked forward to working with such an extraordinary team. After showing Samantha’s team where everyone would be working, I showed them their space so they didn’t feel they were intruding on everyone else. It went well, overall. It was difficult being so close to her and not being able to touch her.
Samantha and Craig, the head of the marketing department, had met for the first hour to sort out last minute details or that needed clarification. This meeting went better than I could have imagined, they worked well together and fed off each other. I just sat back and gave instructions to my assistant. If Craig wasn’t a happily married man, I might have felt a little jealous. He worships his wife, so I know that was all in good hands. Samantha and Craig relayed their directives to their team and off they went.
Professionally, the first week went off without a hitch. Personally, the first week was a disaster. By the end of the week, she was back to wearing those silky blouses because my marks were gone. Samantha didn’t really talk to me directly, unless with someone else. Even if I was on the floor, she would publicly address me by raising her voice to say, - ‘Oh, Mr. Kelly, are you checking on our progress?’ this would cause everyone to take notice of me and look for an answer. So, I would get updates even when I wasn’t looking for them. One time I sent my assistant to get her, but she came up with Craig as well. She told him I wanted to see ‘them.’ By the time Friday rolled around, she and I hadn’t had a conversation yet. I didn’t call her, text or email her. I was clear and she was clear, but I was hurting and she looked fine.
This sort of interaction went on for the first month. The entire team had been coming along quite well, so I was happy about that. Well, I thought I was until I decided to take the stairs down to check on their progress, but really catch a glimpse of Samantha. I did this on a daily basis, maybe 2-3 times a day. I made it to the 37th floor when I heard Samantha’s name and laughter from two males. I stopped to make sure my presence wasn’t known and listened.
“Man, Sean’s right about that. Her body is to die for.”
The other man grunted.
“Those eyes, titties, that ass and oh God, those legs.”
“Umm, mmm” the other man seemed to agree.
“I bet she only got this job because Kelly wanted to hit that. She’s just his type. That’s if he didn’t hit it already. I wouldn’t be surprised. Why else would he bring a no-named company in to work with us, if it wasn’t to get into that tight cunt?”
I saw red.
“Damn man, her company is all over the country. She’s had some really big clients.”
“She’s not as big as Nunce. Why didn’t he bring them in? I tell you why, because they don’t have anyone over there that looks and dresses like her. Or maybe she puts out if she gets the deal, probably how she got her own company. Shit, I don’t care, more eye-candy for us. Man, you think she’ll go for me.”
“Hell no, she don’t even give Kelly the time of day and he’s more up her alley. She talks to Craig, her people and that’s it.”
“Yeah, you’re right, but it won’t hurt to try.”
“Do you value your balls? She’d eat you alive and spit you out. Did you see the way she cut that vendor who screwed up the order? I think that man peed his pants.”
“That’s what I like, a strong woman, on top or on her knees.”
“You’re a fucking idiot. Strong women like that don’t go for guys who want them on top, she goes for guys who will demand she be on top or command her on her knees. That ain’t you.”
“Fuck outta here. You been watching too much Dr. Phil.”
“Whatever, I’m right.”
The door creaked and then there was silence.
What the fuck. This is the shit she was
talking about and I completely dismissed her. Called her fucking paranoid, said she was trying to sabotage us and pick a fight, but this was the shit she dealt with every day. Damn, I really fucked this up with her and I didn’t know how to fix it, but I would fix the fucker that talked about her like that.
The IT guy pulled the footage of who was in the stairwell on the 36th floor between 11:05 and 11:15 AM, then I called Craig up here to explain the situation. He was appalled and equally upset. He wanted to fire him personally, but I told him that we would have that privilege together. We called both Mr. Holden and Mr. Smith to my office. I explained what I heard in the stairwell and I wanted to know which one of them said it. They both looked at each other and then Mr. Holden admitted it was him. His voice was the same guy I heard running his mouth. We asked Mr. Smith to step outside a moment.
“Do you know that a woman makes $.77 cents to every dollar a man makes?” I began, “women work as hard, if not harder and they don’t get the respect they deserve financially, emotionally, physically or intellectually. I, like you, didn’t know how hard it was for a woman, even after one exquisite woman explained her plight to me, to gain respect from her male counterparts. How she would be looked at like an object, questioned to see if she was sleeping her way to the top or overlooked because she was of child-bearing age and nobody wanted to pay for maternity leave. I was an idiot, just like you, but unlike you, I was older and didn’t listen to that woman. It didn’t impact me until I heard you talking about a woman that I’ve come to respect, whose company has made it on the map, despite her ethnicity and gender, who doesn’t sleep with her colleagues, because that’s her rule, so she could never be accused of sleeping her way to the top.”
I stood up, walked around and rested on the front of my desk, so he could see the anger in my eyes.
