‘Your faith in me knows no bounds,’ he said drily, knowing that part one of the battle had been won. ‘I didn’t turf anyone out. You like the place and I think it would be ideal. It’s within commuting distance from London. In fact, surprisingly convenient for the underground… which brings me to the small matter of your job.’ Which, he could see from the expression on her face, was something she had given no thought to.
‘My job… I hadn’t really thought…’
‘It’s going to be awkward.’
‘Are you telling me that I’m out of a job?’ Jennifer demanded, bristling.
‘Far be it from me to tell you anything of the sort. But think about it. You’re pregnant. You won’t be able to keep it under wraps and sooner or later it’s going to emerge that I’m the father. Might not be the most comfortable situation in the world for you…’
‘So I leave and do what?’
‘Practicality number two. Money. Naturally, if you want to stay on at the company then there’s no way I would stand in your way. I have no problem dealing with whispers behind my back and if you think you can deal with that as well, then I’ll support you one hundred per cent in staying on.’ He allowed a few seconds of silence to follow that statement. It took a strong person to survive the toxicity of office politics. ‘At any rate, whether you continue working or not, I intend to open a bank account for you and, just in case you want to argue with me over this, I’m telling you right now that no child of mine will want for anything because you’re too proud to accept money from me.’
‘I have no objection to you paying for our child, James,’ Jennifer muttered awkwardly as she feverishly played in her mind the scenario of her co-workers gossiping behind her back. She could be a genius at her job and would still not be able to fight the rumours that she had got where she was because she had been sleeping with her boss. Pregnant by him would stoke the fires from a slow simmer to a blazing inferno.
‘You come as part of the deal, Jen,’ James said gently. ‘I intend to ensure that your bank balance allows you freedom to choose what you want to do. Carry on working for the company, go ahead. Find another job closer to this place, then feel free. Give up work altogether, then I’m one hundred per cent happy with that solution. It’s up to you. Of course…’ he appeared to mull over his next few words ‘… I’m jumping the gun here, assuming that you don’t have a problem moving out here…’
‘It might be better all round to be out of central London,’ Jennifer concurred, trying hard not to show her relief at leaving the house. Ellie was free, single and disengaged. She played loud music and entertained her boyfriends with exuberance. It was her house. In between all the other stresses, Jennifer had wondered how a baby would feature in that set-up. She sneaked a glance at the super modern kitchen, the granite work surfaces, which blended so harmoniously with the old-fashioned dresser and the mellow kitchen table with mismatched, charming chairs. She could get a kitten.
‘And the job?’
‘I’ll have to think about that.’
‘But not for too long, I hope. Your replacement would have to be found,’ he murmured. ‘Could take ages… but moving on from there to the thorny subject of our parents…’
‘I told you… I’m going to break it to Dad on the weekend.’
‘I’d also like my mother to be present…’
‘Yes. Of course.’ She hadn’t actually dwelled on that particular horror waiting round the corner, but, of course, Daisy would have to be present.
‘How do you think they’re going to take the news?’
‘Why are you talking about this,’ she said with a hint of desperation. ‘I’m just living one day at a time.’
‘Which doesn’t mean that tomorrow isn’t going to come.’
‘I know that.’
‘Do you?’
‘Of course I do! I’m not a complete idiot. I know there are going to be lots of complications to sort out along the way but at least we’ve managed to do something about the first one. I mean, I had actually wondered whether sharing Ellie’s house was going to be suitable for a baby. And it’s a busy road. I’ve always felt sorry for those women pushing buggies on crowded streets, trying to get them on and off the buses…’
‘The cottage is vacant. I’ll make sure that you’re moved by the end of next week. You won’t have to lift a finger.’
Hearing him say that was like heaven to her ears. She didn’t want to feel burdensome to a man who didn’t love her, but, still, she could feel his strength seep into her and the temptation to close her eyes and lean on him was so great that she felt giddy.
James stood up, walked to the fridge and told her that he had taken the liberty of getting his caterers to prepare a light supper for them.
‘Sit,’ he ordered, when she automatically began rising to her feet. ‘I’ve got this.’
‘I feel like I’m on a roller-coaster ride with someone else manning the controls,’ Jennifer mumbled, but halfheartedly, and he glanced across at her with a crooked smile.
‘Go with it.’
‘But I don’t want you to feel that you’ve got to play the responsible role,’ she protested, clinging to her principles by the tips of her fingers. ‘You haven’t listened to what I’ve said. You don’t have to take care of me. It’s enough that you’re allowing me to move to this cottage.’
‘And you haven’t listened to me. I intend to be fully involved. I have no intention of letting you play the independent woman, keeping me at a distance while you wait for Mr Right to come along.’ Just thinking about that set his teeth on edge. Food ready, James took it to the table in its original containers, which he had stuck in the microwave, and placed two plates and cutlery alongside them.
‘We have to get past this… atmosphere…’ he gritted, sitting back and waiting as she dished out some of the one-pot dinner for herself. He had had a little time to think about the change in her attitude towards him and he had worked out the reason behind it. Where their relationship had always been one of easy-going friendship, which had developed into something even more so after they had become lovers, the fact of her unexpected pregnancy had thrown up all the downsides to what they had. She could no longer relax with him because she now felt trapped, hemmed in by a situation she couldn’t reverse and, in one way or another, stuck with someone she had always planned on moving away from eventually. She wasn’t in it through free choice. She was in it through lack of option.
Which didn’t mean that he was going to allow himself to be shunted aside so that she could start her search for her knight in shining armour the second their baby was born. No way.
Which, in turn, brought him to the delicate part of the proceedings.
He thoughtfully worked his way through the meal in front of him, half listening as she tried to assure him that there was no atmosphere, that she was just tense, that’s all, that she was very pleased that they were both being so adult about everything. In mid-sentence, he cut her short by raising his hand, and Jennifer stuttered to silence.
‘Why don’t we go and relax in the sitting room?’
‘It feels odd… when someone’s probably just left this place…’
‘Let me dispel that myth,’ he drawled, getting to his feet. ‘The house was last rented out over ten months ago. It’s just been recently refurbished.’
‘Has it? Why? Were you going to put it on for rental again?’
James flushed darkly. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘So… all this furniture is new?’ Jennifer stood up, marvelling that there was not a single thing in the house that she wouldn’t have chosen herself.
‘Yes, I had my people equip it,’ he allowed, omitting the fact that he had personally instructed them in what to buy.
‘They couldn’t have chosen better.’ Jennifer gazed admiringly at the deep, plush sofa in the sitting room, the broad comfortable chairs on either side of it. Every detail took her breath away, from the rich burgundy drapes to the intricate Persian r
ug covering the polished wooden floor.
She flopped onto the sofa and curled her legs under her. Disturbingly, because she was determined to keep her distance, James sat next to her, then turned, his arms along the back of the sofa and behind her.
‘So…’
‘So…?’ She could feel her heartbeat pick up and a fine film of perspiration break out over her body.
‘So I want you to tell me why the atmosphere has changed so fast between us…’
‘Well, isn’t it obvious?’ Jennifer stammered. She blinked rapidly to try and stabilise her nerves, which were suddenly in wild free fall. Two days ago, she would have been in his arms right now, two days ago they would have been making love. Yes, things had changed, but he would still be bemused by her retreat. Without the complication of being emotionally involved, lust, for him, would still be intact.
‘Nope.’ He inclined his head and continued staring at her.
Jennifer wished that she had some sharp retort to counter that, but she didn’t. She was suddenly hot and bothered and flustered and very much aware of his proximity.
‘Then it should be…’
‘Why is that?’ He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair in a gesture that was so familiar that Jennifer felt her heart tug painfully. ‘Has pregnancy done something to your hormones? Turned you off sex? Or have you suddenly found that you’re no longer attracted to me because you’re carrying my baby?’
‘No!’ The hot denial was out before she had time to think about it and swallow the shaming truth back down. ‘I mean…’
‘You mean you are still attracted to me,’ James murmured with satisfaction.
‘That’s not the point!’
‘The point being?’
‘The point being that there’s more at stake than just the two of us being attracted to each other and having fun, no strings attached.’
‘You say having fun as though it’s a crime against humanity.’
‘Stop confusing me,’ Jennifer cried, standing up agitatedly and pacing the sitting room, aware of his deep blue eyes thoughtfully following her. She paused to stand in front of him. She was fired up with a tangle of confusing emotions. She could barely think properly. She wasn’t expecting him to reach out and place his hand gently on her stomach. She froze.
‘I want to feel it,’ James said unevenly. Children had never appeared on his radar but now that he knew that she was carrying his child, he was driven to have tangible evidence of it, wanted to feel the more rounded stomach.
‘When will you feel it moving?’
‘James, please…’
‘I took part in the creation… surely you wouldn’t deny me the chance to feel it?’ He slipped his hands under her dress and gently tugged it up to expose her stomach. He felt her release her breath on a shudder but she didn’t move away. How oblivious had he been? She was by no means big but she was certainly bigger than when they had first become lovers, her stomach smooth and firm but no longer flat. She was wearing little cotton briefs and they were low enough for him to see the shadow of soft, downy hair peeping above the elastic band.
He closed his eyes, faint with an overwhelming surge of intense, driven craving. It was like nothing he had ever felt in his life before. He had had friends who had wittered interminably about the joys of parenthood, who had reliably informed him that having a baby was like nothing on earth. He had always listened politely and promptly shoved the rhapsodies into the waste disposal unit in his head. Now, he wondered… was this what it was all about? This weird feeling that left him shaken and uncharacteristically out of control?
He would savour the moment and not question its origin. He felt her fingers settle into his hair as he shoved the dress farther up so that her bra was just visible.
With a soft tug he pulled her towards him onto the sofa and she fell with a little thud into the squashy cushions.
Jennifer knew that this was not how the evening was supposed to proceed. She was vulnerable and should be protecting herself. That certainly did not include letting him pull her dress over her head, which he was now doing, not to mention unhook her bra so that he could ease it off her shoulders to expose breasts that were sensitive and tingling with wanting him to touch them.
Which, of course, he did, but not until he had told her how her body had changed.
He grazed his teeth against her nipples, sending a compulsive shiver rippling through her body. ‘How couldn’t I have seen the changes to your body?’
‘You weren’t looking,’ Jennifer breathed unevenly. ‘Nor was I and, like I’ve said, we just don’t really notice what we’re not expecting.’ In fact, she had known that she had put on weight, but she had assumed that it was because she had been eating more, enjoying the domestic life with a man who refused to be tamed.
James barely heard her. He was too busy licking and tasting her, circling the stiff buds with his tongue before lavishing his attention on them in turn. She arched up, eyes closed, with her hands clasped behind her back.
His mouth was clamped on one nipple and as he sucked it she twisted and moaned, automatically parting her legs, inviting his hand to cup the throbbing mound between her thighs.
He could feel her dampness seeping through the cotton underwear but he was in no hurry to take off the flimsy garment. Instead, he pressed down and kept up the insistent pressure as he continued to lose himself in her glorious breasts. He liked the way she writhed every time he dipped his fingers deeper into her wetness. How could she hold herself at a distance from him? How could she deny that what they had together was good? Beyond good? He slipped his hand underneath the briefs and she groaned as his searching fingers began stroking her, over and over and over again, rubbing her clitoris until she wanted to pass out with pleasure.
They made love slowly, as though they had all the time in the world, and afterwards she almost dozed off in his arms.
‘We shouldn’t have done that,’ was what she said instead, hating herself for having succumbed and terrified that it would just be the start of a pattern. He would get too close and she would give in because she was weak. She scrambled to push herself away from him but he yanked her back.
‘Try and say that with conviction and I might start believing you.’
‘I mean it, James. It’s not on.’
‘That’s not what your body spent the past hour telling me.’
‘And I don’t want to let my body deal with this situation!’ She pushed against him and scrambled around for her clothes, ashamed of herself.
James propped himself up and looked at her as she wriggled into the dress.
‘I know you don’t,’ he agreed gravely, and Jennifer shot him a suspicious look from under her lashes.
‘You do?’ She looked at him uncertainly.
James sat up, strolled to where his boxers had been tossed, put them on and then turned to look at her.
‘You’re still attracted to me but you don’t want that to get in the way of making what you think is the right decision.’
‘Well… yes.’ She sat back down, although this time on one of the chairs instead of on the sofa. Her body was as stiff as board and her hands rested primly on her knees as she continued to warily look at him. Fading light made his half-clothed body look as sculpted and as perfect as a classical Greek statue. She thought it would help if he could stick a shirt on.
‘And I apologise unreservedly if I took advantage of your weakness and seduced you.’
‘Well, you’re not entirely to blame…’ Jennifer was driven to admit, looking away with a guilty flush.
‘Of course you’re not going to want to get back into the situation we had, given the circumstances.’
‘No-o-o…’ Jennifer dragged out that one syllable for as long as she could while she tried to figure out where his speech was going.
‘In a matter like this, you simply don’t see the value of thinking with your head.’
‘It’s not that—’
‘And I won’
t waste time trying to make you see that this is just the time when you should be thinking with your head. You don’t want to marry me and I accept that.’
‘Really? You do?’ Why did that hurt so much?
‘Why do you sound so surprised?’
‘Because you seemed so convinced that getting married was the only option we had. As if we were still living in Victorian times and you had to make an honest woman of me, however unhappy we might both have ended up being!’
James held his cool and continued to look steadily at her. ‘Let’s just say that I’m willing to make compromises in that area.’
‘What sort of compromises?’
‘You move in here and I move in with you. No marriage, but I think we should see how it works out, give this a chance for the sake of the baby. If it doesn’t work out, then we do the modern thing and walk away from each other.’ He flushed darkly and looked away. ‘We were happy… before this all blew up,’ he said in a rough undertone. ‘What’s to say that we couldn’t be happy again?’
CHAPTER NINE
JAMES didn’t realise just how happy life with Jennifer was until he got her panicked call in the middle of a meeting.
When he had suggested that they live together, he had had no idea what he had been letting himself in for. He was a man accustomed to freedom of movement and independence, fundamentally unanswerable to anyone. Of course, he acknowledged that that state of affairs had undergone some change in the weeks after they had become lovers. He had also acknowledged that had she agreed to his original terms they would probably have been married by now, but somehow the fact of marriage had seemed less daunting than the fact of living together.
With a sense of duty no longer in the equation, living together had struck him as more of a commitment, even though he couldn’t fathom why.
He had engineered a smooth transition for her from apartment to house. Despite her reassurances that she was as healthy as a horse, waving aside the occasional giddy spell as nothing to worry about, insisting that she continue working until a suitable replacement was found for her position, he made sure that she had as little to do as humanly possible during the actual move. Packing a few personal items into a suitcase was just about all he allowed her to get away with.
The Girl He'd Overlooked Page 15
