by Karen Baney
She was speechless. She never prayed for a meal. She also never thought God would be even remotely interested in her project at work. And she never had anyone thank God for her. It was incredibly humbling and confusing. She still blamed God for Jack’s death. Why would he care about her project when he took her family away?
Kyle seemed to be oblivious to the feelings churning inside her. “You did an amazing job. I’m so impressed by how you coded something so complex about something you knew little about before starting the project.”
She half-smiled, still fighting the emotions stirred by his prayer.
“You are an amazing woman,” he said as his eyes locked with hers.
For some reason the sincere admiration made her completely uncomfortable.
Tears pooled in her eyes. “Excuse me.” She ran for the sanctuary of the restroom.
Why on earth was she crying? Over Kyle’s compliment? Over his prayer? Her failed love life? What? This was stupid.
She sniffled and wiped her eyes with some toilet tissue. She must be more tired than she thought. She was just overloaded from the long hours. That had to be it.
Straightening her shoulders, she dabbed at her eyes. She could handle a few more minutes of conversation. Not every meal had to end in her fleeing. Taking a deep breath she returned to the table.
Kyle looked at her with a questioning gaze, but concentrated on eating his food. Niki was sure he noticed the redness around her eyes. How could he not?
Feeling awkward, she decided she would feel better if she could get him talking. “How long have you been out of the Air Force?”
Kyle tensed. She picked the wrong topic.
“Never mind.” Changing tactics, she asked, “So, what does Kyle Jacobs do for fun?”
“What all bachelors my age do. Ride my bike when it’s not 110. Play video games. Physical therapy. Work on a project.”
“What’s your project?”
“You.”
“Great. I’m really in trouble if both you and Marcy see me as your big project.”
“You have no idea.” He chuckled. “We used to get into a lot of trouble together growing up. Drove poor Mom crazy.”
She smiled and took another big bite of her salad. A wave of exhaustion washed over her. She was only about half way done with her meal, but she really wanted to get home. She rubbed her temples to dull the ache becoming more pronounced.
“You okay?”
“Just tired.”
“Gee, I wonder why. Why don’t you take off?”
“But you’re not finished,” she said, her voice getting whiny.
“I’m fine.” He raised his hand to get their server’s attention and requested a box for Niki. When the server returned, he suggested again that she go on home.
“How much do I owe you?” she asked.
“For what?”
“Dinner.”
“Nothing. It’s on me. Now go.”
She stood and started to leave.
“And text me to let me know you got home, okay?” Kyle called out.
She answered him with a wave.
Niki managed to stay awake long enough to get home and unload her car, though she left everything piled in a heap in the great room. Too tired to worry about the mess, she texted Kyle, then went to bed, so very thankful to be home again.
Kyle smiled as he got up Saturday morning. Another brilliant idea came as he stretched out.
This was truly a good idea. Not like asking her to dinner last night. That had been a mistake. He should have been more sensitive to how exhausted she was.
It seemed like the right time to ask her to dinner—especially after the way she looked at him when he showed her how to fly the simulated helicopter. For the first time since he started working with her, she looked truly happy.
Too bad they ran into Trevor in the parking lot. If they hadn’t, he wondered if she might have enjoyed having dinner with him. Kyle wasn’t sure if her sudden change in moods was from that or something else. She seemed very troubled by the time she left.
That’s why he let her go. It was the best thing for her.
He sighed. He wanted so much for her to see him as he was now—the man he was becoming since the accident. Oh, he hadn’t arrived yet. But, Lord willing, he would keep trying to be less selfish and arrogant.
If he could pull his idea together then maybe she would get a glimpse of the new him. She might be annoyed by him showing up on her doorstep, but it would take him a little bit of time to get everything he needed. He wouldn’t show up until the afternoon.
He reached for his cell phone and found Doug’s number.
Need a favor. He pressed send on the text message, confident Doug would help.
Chapter 19
Saturday morning, the doorbell’s annoying ring pulled Niki from her cocoon of slumber. Rolling over, she tried to shut out the noise, hoping Marcy would send the solicitor away. The bell rang again. No such luck.
She took the ponytail holder from her night stand and pulled her hair back in a half bun half ponytail. Looking down at her pajamas, she figured the shirt and shorts were good enough to run the persistent solicitor off. She put on her glasses and walked down the hall as the bell rang a third time. Really?
She opened the door. “You know, some of us are still asleep this early in the morn—”
Her words came to a crashing halt as she recognized her visitor.
“Kyle,” she said flatly as she squinted against the bright sunlight outside.
“Did I wake you?” he asked as she turned to get the key to unlock the same annoying howling coyote security door. She still needed to replace that.
“Of course you did. I don’t know where Marcy is. I’m assuming if she was here she would have answered the door.”
She held the door open wide and let him in. Then she turned without paying attention and tripped over her bag of clothes that she threw in the great room last night. Kyle’s hands went around her waist to steady her, sending a jolt through her body that had her more awake than her usual three cups of coffee in the morning.
“You know, it’s one in the afternoon,” he said as he released his hold on her.
“What?”
“I really should get you a watch. You always seem to be clueless about the time.” Tapping a finger against his temple, he added, “Should probably make it military time, so when it says one, you’ll know not to call your coworkers.”
She swatted at his arm before going to the coffee maker. Ice cold.
“You should probably get in the habit of calling Marcy before just showing up all of the time.” She dumped the cold coffee down the drain and started a fresh pot brewing.
“I’m not here to see Marcy.”
“Huh?” She looked at him blankly. That must mean he was here to see her. Her stomach fluttered at the thought.
“Are you ready for lesson four?”
He could not be serious. “You just got me out of bed. I’m in no condition to go anywhere. Nor do I want to.”
“Nor do you have to.” He held up two DVD’s in one hand and two bags of microwave popcorn in the other.
“At least let me shower,” she said feeling very self-conscious about her appearance and complete lack of hygiene at the moment.
“You have fifteen minutes. Go.”
“But my coffee.”
“It’ll be here waiting for you.”
Niki shuffled down the hall to her room. She wasn’t about to primp for this unannounced visit. She didn’t have the energy. Flipping through the clothes in her closet, she picked a pair of sweat shorts, even though they had “princess” printed across the rear. She really needed to weed out her old college clothes. She picked a loose boring gray t-shirt with some angel design on it.
Closing her bathroom door, she rushed through a shortened version of her morning routine. Instead of fully drying her hair, she just breezed the dryer over it so it wasn’t sopping wet. Then she threw on her comfy clothes,
her glasses, and pulled her half wet hair back in a ponytail.
When she stepped out of her bathroom, she noticed all her stuff from the great room neatly stacked along the wall. Boy, he must really feel sorry for her.
The smell of coffee and popcorn wafted down the hall to greet her as she stepped into the kitchen. A cup of coffee—the perfect light tan shade—sat next to a big bowl of buttery popcorn. Kyle was popping another bag in the microwave as he pointed to the one on the counter.
“Breakfast of champions,” he said.
Niki giggled an unusually feminine sound. She must be tired.
“Choose your couch while I finish this.”
She picked the one against the far wall, her favorite. Then she piled all the throw pillows against the arm and leaned back, upright enough to drink her coffee and munch her popcorn.
“I hope I brought the right two movies.” Kyle sat on the other couch facing her. He held up The Princess Bride and Office Space. “I understand from some of my new geek friends that these are prerequisites for any computer science degree.”
She laughed. Her two all-time favorite movies.
“Yes, and just how did you get your hands on those?”
“I have my sources.”
“So, is lesson four as simple as it seems?”
“Yep. Sit back and relax. And if you need anything, you let me know,” Kyle said as he put The Princess Bride in the DVD player.
When he sat down, it took him awhile to settle onto the couch. She glanced over, wondering if it bothered his back. He ended up sitting with his back against the armrest and his legs straight in front of him along the length of the couch. It looked uncomfortable to her, but she said nothing.
“R.U.S.’s?” Kyle asked.
She smiled at his question about the movie scene. “Rodents of Unusual Size,” she answered in perfect timing with the movie’s dialogue. They both laughed at the coincidence.
Turning on her side, she stretched out her arm and placed the popcorn bowl on the coffee table that sat between the two couches. Then she fluffed a throw pillow and rested her head on it, still able to comfortably view the movie. Sensing his eyes on her, she looked over. He was staring at her with a funny look on his face.
“What?” Did she have something on her nose?
He blushed and turned his attention back to the screen. “Nothing.”
She closed her eyes, just for a second, to clear out the bleariness. When she opened them, Kyle was standing, walking back and forth.
“Good, you’re awake. Want some pizza?”
“What?” she said, feeling groggy as she propped up on one elbow.
“You were snoring.”
“Was not.”
“Were too. For a half hour. You missed the last of the movie.”
“Do you always have to contradict me?” She stood as her stomach growled at the delicious smell of pizza beckoning her. She loaded up a paper plate with a few slices—amazed that she never heard the doorbell for the delivery—and retrieved a diet soda from the fridge. Standing by the bar height counter, she munched on the supreme pizza, her favorite.
“I don’t always contradict you.”
“There,” she said around a mouthful of pizza, “you just did it again.”
“You’re grumpy when you wake up, Princess,” Kyle teased, reminding her he could see the words on her shorts from his vantage point.
She angled her hiney the other way, sorry she hadn’t picked something less juvenile to wear. But they were so comfortable and she was still pretty tired.
“Maybe I wouldn’t be so grumpy if you weren’t always waking me up?” She tossed back her diet soda. Pizza always made her thirsty.
Niki yawned. “Sorry I slept through lesson four.”
“Relaxing was the point of lesson four. You always were an overachiever, weren’t you?”
“If you’d give me some kind of warning before these lessons, I could practice ahead of time. Then you’d really see what an overachiever I am.”
He smiled, shaking his head. “Only you would turn lessons about fun into work.”
His prayer from last night popped into her mind.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Kyle nodded, biting the edge of his lip as if he was holding back some smart remark.
“Why would God care about our project? I mean, if he’s so heartless as to have taken my whole family, why would he care about some insignificant project?”
She had to know. It was driving her crazy.
His smile faded and he was silent for several minutes. She was about to repeat the question when he spoke. “He is not heartless and he didn’t take your family.”
“How can you say that?”
“Death is a part of life, with or without God. It’s not like he goes around intentionally wiping people out to inflict wounds on someone else.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t know that. You’ve never lost family.”
Kyle stopped his pacing and stood in front of her, scowl on his face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I may not have lost blood family like you, but I have lost family.”
She couldn’t believe him. There was no way he could understand her pain. “What are you talking about?”
“The accident,” he said, his voice taking on a far away tenor. “I lost my family. Not my blood family like you did. But those men were my family. We dropped into the worst of conditions together. We trained together. We saved lives together. Except for the day that my flying got them all killed.
“No, Niki, they weren’t blood. But, they were most definitely family. And God didn’t take them away. It was simply their time to go.”
She stood there stunned at his response. She wasn’t sure which she found more difficult to swallow—that Kyle experienced such loss or that God might be different than she thought. Now she wished she hadn’t brought up the subject. She couldn’t really face this or the flood of questions poised at the edge of her consciousness right now.
“I’m sorry. I spoke out of turn.”
“God doesn’t hate you.” His features softened. “And He didn’t intentionally hurt you. He’s not out to make your life miserable.”
She had to end this conversation—it was too close to breaking down her façade. Taking the last swig of her soda she walked over to the recycle bin to buy some time.
Kyle followed her. When she turned around, he lightly grasped her shoulders. He ducked his head down to her level, looking her straight in the eye. “Please stop running.”
His expression looked pained, pleading with her for something she could not face. She broke eye contact and stared at the floor until he released his hold.
“Okay. You’re not there. I get it.”
Not where?
He backed up a few steps. As Kyle sat down on the couch again, he asked, “You ready to watch the other movie?”
She shuffled her feet over to the other couch. Lying down on her side, she stuffed a pillow under her head and stared at the blank screen.
“Sure,” she finally answered, willing her tears to stay hidden. A mindless movie would be the perfect distraction.
Kyle said she was running. But running was familiar. And for two weeks, Niki maintained a successful pace in running from the questions that troubled her heart. Every time they pushed forward for attention, she slammed the lid down tight and stuffed it in a deep hole. Things were starting to fall in place in her life—at least it felt that way—and she could not deal with a shift in that fragile balance.
The big meeting with the Air Force was a tremendous success. As a result of the team’s work, and her work, the Air Force agreed to push back the date for the live trials as she originally requested. The insane work hours actually paid off in dividends, building much needed credibility. Her work schedule changed into something more akin to a normal work week.
Of course, working fewer hours meant the weekends were long and endless and unfilled. She had too much time
on her hands and it was driving her crazy. She needed to get out. She needed a change. Thankfully, Marcy scheduled them hair appointments and pedicures.
As she downed the last of her coffee, Marcy padded into the kitchen. “You said you need a change. I’ve got an idea for you.”
Niki cringed. Marcy’s idea of change and her idea of change were two entirely different things. “Shoot.”
“I think you should get layers and some blonde highlights. It would really bring out the blue of your eyes.”
“Let’s do it,” she said with unusual bravado as she led the way to her car.
In a few minutes, they were at the salon getting their hair started. Once they were both foiled and baking, they had a chance to sit and talk.
“So, things going good with Chad? Seems like the two of you are joined at the hip all weekend every weekend.”
Marcy sighed and in her usual dramatic fashion, she clasped her hands over her heart. “He’s wonderful.”
“A wonderful accountant?”
Marcy nudged her with her shoulder. “Yes, a wonderful accountant. Wonderful boyfriend. Everything!”
“Okay, now I know you’ve lost your mind. He can’t be perfect.”
“Spoil sport.” Marcy faked pouted. “In all seriousness, though, he’s a good man. We share the same beliefs.” Niki knew this to be at the top of Marcy’s list. Whenever Marcy dated, the first question she always asked was how he got saved. It was a deal breaker or deal maker. While Niki didn’t really get it, she supposed having different beliefs, especially when one feels as strongly as Marcy did, could pose a problem in a relationship. And Marcy was definitely looking for a potential husband.
“What else?”
“We both want kids. And he would be fine if I kept working or if I stayed at home with the kids.”
“You’re talking kids? How serious is this?”
“I’d say pretty serious. I’m thinking a proposal is in my not-too-distant future.”
A proposal meant a wedding soon, judging by her friend’s excitement about the idea. A wedding meant no more Roommate Marcy. Things would change. Their friendship would change.
They had known each other for a long time. Been roommates for eight years. What would she do without Marcy?
