“My dad used to say people can be too smart for their own good,” Kate agreed. “They assume they can solve any problem just by thinking about it. Whereas really smart people, well, I guess they’re willing to admit how much they don’t know. Which I guess makes me a genius, because I’m willing to admit I know hardly anything.”
Tony had to think about that one for a minute. “I’ll vote for you being a genius,” he concluded.
She grinned. “Thanks.”
He wished he could stick around longer, but by now his computer must be flashing with messages. “If you’ll stop by my office when you’re done, I’ll fix you a cup of coffee. Or decaf, if you prefer.”
“Sounds good. I’ve cut back on caffeine for the duration.” She settled on a chair and propped the book on her knees, in lieu of a lap. “Meanwhile, I’ll amuse myself memorizing parts of the digestive system.”
He peered over her shoulder. “Doesn’t that diagram give you indigestion?”
She patted her bulge. “With all this pressure, everything gives me indigestion. But it’s worth it.”
Tony could have sworn he spotted another cornflake on her temple, begging to be removed. And sitting so close to an air conditioning vent, she might be cold. He ought to offer her his jacket.
Pregnant women are never cold. And you’ve got work to do.
With a quick, “See you later,” Tony tore himself away. Because if he didn’t go now, he might never leave.
KATE TRIED TO CONCENTRATE on the strange anatomical terms. Cecum, jejunum, ileum. That last one sounded like an ancient Greek epic.
She couldn’t stop thinking about Tony touching her as he removed those silly cornflakes. Her blood glimmered through her veins like silver as she imagined running her hands over him, too.
You idiot.
Last night, he’d made it plain that he intended to keep his distance. True, he’d just invited her for coffee, but only in a safe business setting.
She’d never felt such confusion with Quinn. From the start, their relationship had been straightforward and relaxed. Sure, there’d been a few simmering issues, such as her concern about his risk-taking and the way he never managed to save money, but she’d figured he’d grow out of those tendencies.
Well, she’d better outgrow her tendency to daydream. Kate returned to her book, and was deep in the intricacies of the ascending, descending and transverse colon when a movement drew her attention to the entrance.
Eve’s bruised cheek had gone from dark red to yellowish brown. A small pucker formed between her eyebrows as she surveyed the room.
“Good morning.” Kate set the book aside.
“Are…are you a counselor?”
She should have called Dr. Forrest, Kate reflected, but she hadn’t been sure Eve would really come. “I’m a peer counselor. Let’s talk about your situation, and maybe I can help you figure out the next step.”
“Yeah?” The girl edged into a chair. “How old are you, anyway?”
“Twenty-seven. How about you?”
“Nineteen.” A deep breath. “Somebody told me you were a surrogate.”
Kate had been wondering how to break the news. “That’s right.”
“What’s it like?”
Kate explained briefly, and at last Eve unbent enough to talk about herself. Although she had a part-time job at a discount store, it didn’t pay enough to support her, let alone a child. Her father, an alcoholic, had abandoned the family long ago, and her mother, who lived out-of-state with a second family, would only take Eve if she agreed to serve as an unpaid housekeeper.
“I depended on Duane, which was really dumb. He used to beat up his old girlfriend. I never thought he’d do it to me.”
“He’s in jail, right?”
“Yeah, but I can’t pay my rent without his help. It’s like nobody cares if I die in the street!” the mom-to-be burst out.
“I care,” Kate reminded her.
“I can’t get welfare because I have a job, but if I give up my job, I might never find another one. It’s not fair.”
“Instead of complaining, let’s do some planning,” Kate suggested. “We should assess your strengths and figure out what steps you can take to make things better.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Eve grumbled. “You’ve got a nice cushy life.”
The resentful tone brought Kate up short. “What makes you think that?”
“Well, it’s obvious. I mean…” The girl searched for justification. “You’re being paid to carry somebody’s baby. That makes you rich, right?”
“I’m a widow with a five-year-old son, and right now I’m too big to work at my regular job as a hairdresser.” Kate paused just long enough for her words to sink in. “These past two years since my husband died have been a struggle.”
“I’ll bet you have family you can lean on,” the girl countered.
“I try not to lean on them too much.”
“Yeah, but you can if you have to.”
Eve’s whining struck a nerve. “You’re about to become responsible for another person’s life. Sure, things are tough right now, but being angry at the world won’t solve your problems. And neither, in the long run, will anybody else. If you plan to keep this baby, you have to grow up fast.”
As soon as the words were out, Kate felt a pang of apprehension. She was supposed to help Eve, not antagonize her.
“You’re saying I should give up my baby?” The teenager glared at her. “I’ll never let him go, never.”
Her loud voice must have disturbed Tara, who chose that moment to start practicing her soccer kick. Kate’s hand flew to her abdomen. As she registered her daughter’s activity, the irony of Eve’s words hit home. Why am I lecturing her? She’s braver than I am. “Good for you. I’m glad you’re sticking by your baby.”
“Yeah, sure. You’re just like everybody else. You think I’m a screwup.”
“No, I don’t.” Kate blinked back a film of tears. “The thing is, from now on, you’re in charge of your life and his. Not your mother, not your boyfriend, not your friends or relatives and not me. How much are you willing to sacrifice to keep him?”
Eve folded her arms. “Why should I have to sacrifice anything?”
“Because sacrifice goes along with parenthood, especially single parenthood.” Kate was glad to see the girl listening intently. “You need to find a stable situation, even if that means moving in with your mother for a while and living by her rules.”
“I hate her. We fight all the time.”
“Well, somehow, you have to find a solution, and you have to keep finding solutions for the next twenty years,” Kate emphasized. “Stop making excuses and let me help you look for answers.”
Judging by the girl’s mutinous expression, this discussion had gone too far. “You want me to grow up? Fine. I sure don’t need you!”
“I didn’t mean it that way.” Too late. The girl was storming out of the room, too fast for Kate to follow. “Eve!”
No response. Kate sat stunned. Her first attempt as a counselor, and she’d failed.
Guiltily, she wondered if she should simply leave and not return. With no formal organization yet, the clinic wouldn’t miss her, and she could always make some vague excuse to Samantha later.
But she’d promised to have coffee with Tony. Besides, sneaking off didn’t feel right.
She was going to have to admit her failure. More than that, the conversation had stirred emotions that Kate had been trying very hard to ignore. Feelings about her own baby and her own decision.
What if Mary Beth was right? What if this whole arrangement had been a terrible mistake?
She’d promised to bear a child for the Francos. But she’d done so in the belief that her child would have a loving father and mother.
In the week since she’d learned of Esther’s departure, Kate hadn’t allowed herself to fully consider the implications. Now, Eve’s passionate commitment to her child had splashed cold water in her fa
ce.
Kate couldn’t simply go on pretending things were fine. She had to share her doubts with someone.
And that someone, like it or not, should be Tony.
Chapter Eight
Although it wasn’t a requirement of the job, Tony believed in keeping informal tabs on the medical center’s departments by dropping in on them. That way, staff could ask questions and alert him to potential problems.
In addition, since his arrival three years ago until last month’s official reopening, he’d suffered through almost nonstop remodeling work on what had been an aging community hospital. Now he enjoyed touring the state-of-the-art facilities that served primarily women and newborns.
Today, Tony visited the third floor, home to the labor and delivery rooms and the regular-and medium-care nurseries. In L&D, the few nurses who weren’t in a rush asked him about dealing with the reporters who sometimes sneaked onto their floors.
“Never answer questions without first consulting the public relations office,” he told them. “If they persist, don’t hesitate to call security. We have an obligation to protect patient privacy.”
“What if a patient wants to give an interview?” asked a male nurse.
“A patient can’t give informed consent while medicated,” Tony warned. “Our policy is that if patients wish to talk to the press, they should do so after they’re discharged, or at least with next of kin and a member of the hospital administrative staff present.”
A young man rushed past, bumping Tony’s shoulder. “Sorry, my wife’s in labor,” he called without stopping. “Understood.”
A nurse cast Tony a knowing smile. “That’ll be you soon, won’t it?”
“I’m sorry?”
“I heard you were coaching the surrogate. Too bad your wife flaked out.” Her face scrunched. “Oops. Didn’t mean to meddle.”
“I am learning to be her labor coach,” he confirmed. At least, that was the idea. He really had to stop missing classes.
To discourage any further personal remarks, Tony said a friendly farewell and headed to the hallway. He should have realized that his personal situation had become fodder for the grapevine. Hospitals were hotbeds of gossip.
Which meant, Tony reflected, that every time he talked to Kate in the lobby or any other public area, the staff would be nattering about it the next day. If that didn’t make a guy self-conscious, he wasn’t sure what would. Yet he refused to stop coaching her, no matter how much close contact that involved. Or how many tongues wagged as a result.
As he passed the nursery, he couldn’t resist pausing at the display window. Back when Esther was trying to get pregnant, he used to come here almost daily, fantasizing that one of those little sweethearts belonged to them.
There hadn’t been any reason to believe Esther was infertile, aside from irregular menstrual periods, which she’d attributed to her high-pressure schedule. But after months of trying in vain, they’d submitted to a series of tests. Roughly a year ago, they’d sat in Mark’s office, stunned as he explained the diagnosis.
Esther had premature ovarian failure, which, he’d told them, meant a problem with the ovarian follicles, the seeds that matured into eggs. For unknown reasons, she’d suffered what the doctor termed follicle depletion, meaning that she had no follicles left and no way to grow more.
The only way for her to bear a child would be to undergo hormone treatments and receive an egg donation from another woman. This was a rigorous procedure, with the odds of success less than ten percent.
Esther had gone stone cold, barely speaking to Tony for several days despite his attempts to comfort her. When she proposed hiring a surrogate, he’d been relieved to see her animation return.
He’d almost forgotten her initial intention of hiring a university student, with the goal of producing a high-IQ child. After learning there weren’t any available, she’d compromised on Kate.
Well, in Tony’s opinion, Kate was both smart and very, very special. So what if she couldn’t memorize case law and summon it with deadly precision in court? She understood what mattered in life, in a way that Esther probably never would.
Staring at the row after row of adorable babies, Tony reflected that, for years ahead, he was likely to be identifying Kate’s characteristics in his daughter. The smile that blossomed from warm to mesmerizing, the eyes with their shadowed depths… No, that came from the loss she’d survived. He hoped his daughter never suffered such grief.
Had Esther stayed in the picture, Tony would never have thought much about what Kate had gone through. Now they’d formed an unexpected connection. Too bad it had to be temporary.
Or did it?
“Those twins were surrendered this morning.” Stopping beside Tony at the window, Jared Sellers indicated babies in side-by-side bassinets. “While I was examining them, it surprised me how much they remind me of my sister’s kids.”
“Are you reconsidering your decision not to have children?” Tony had heard that Jared’s fiancée, who’d grown up supervising five younger sisters, opposed becoming a mother.
The neonatologist’s mouth twisted. “I never believed guys had biological clocks, but this feeling is intense. Lori’s supposed to move in with me next week. She plans to turn the spare room into her office, and I’m imagining a nursery.”
“You’d better discuss this with her, pronto,” Tony advised. “I wish I’d communicated more with my wife.” If Esther had confided her change of heart about having a child, they might have worked out a compromise and saved their marriage.
“Guess she and I do need to have a talk. Not looking forward to it.” His beeper sounded. “Gotta go. Catch you later.”
As Tony returned to the administrative suite, he spotted Kate hovering near his inner doorway. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“That’s okay. I know you’re busy.”
Aware of the secretary’s curious gaze, Tony guided her into his office, his hand drifting to the small of Kate’s back. Now why had he done that? He’d likely just stirred up a whole afternoon’s worth of gossip.
“Coffee?” He kept a private pot stocked with his favorite blend. “Oh, that’s right—too much caffeine. I can fix instant decaf.”
“No, thanks. I’m not thirsty.”
Instead of retreating behind his desk, Tony took a seat beside her. “What’s wrong?”
Deep breath. “I’m afraid I’m a failure as a peer counselor.”
Considering how brilliantly she’d handled the makeover moms, he doubted that. “What happened?”
She gripped her purse. “Eve started feeling sorry for herself and implying it was other people’s responsibility to take care of her. I lectured her about how parents have to sacrifice for their children. Way too heavy-handed. No wonder she walked out.”
Tony didn’t know what advice to offer. Besides, her instincts were probably better than his. “If you had it to do over, what approach would you take?”
“I’d help her find a solution,” Kate said glumly. “I was working around to that, but we never got there.”
“Call her. Samantha must have the phone number.”
A slow nod. “It’s worth a try. I hope Dr. Forrest won’t be mad.”
“She asked you to assist with Eve, not run the show solo. She’s the one at fault here. Besides, once Eve cools down, she might view things differently.” Kate had a gift for relating to needy girls. Despite today’s setback, in Tony’s opinion, she’d make a fine peer counselor.
Also, he liked the idea of her showing up regularly at the clinic, just a few doors away. Although he’d resolved not to spend time alone with Kate, once a week in class hardly seemed like enough time to be around his developing baby.
As if the person he wanted to be close to was Tara. You are treading a very fine line here, counselor.
Exactly how fine struck him when he heard Kate’s next words. “In some ways, Eve’s a better mother than I am. She’s determined to keep her baby. Here I am, agreeing to bear a ch
ild for someone else and then walk away.”
Tony stiffened. He’d allowed them to grow close, so close that he’d considered continuing the relationship after she gave birth, and now Kate felt free to question the surrogacy arrangement. He should have foreseen this.
He had to clarify the rules and return the situation to the right footing. The sooner the better. “You’ll have to walk away,” he said more sharply than he’d intended. “That’s the way it works, Kate.”
At the pain in her startled gaze, his gut tightened. Too bad. Her statement had forced him to clamp down. The fact that he had only himself to blame merely added to his resolve.
TONY’S SUDDEN COLDNESS chilled Kate. She’d spoken openly, trusting the sense of support between them. Confiding in him, not challenging their contract. Well, not exactly. She’d never expected him to turn hard and remote.
“I just figured we could discuss this.” When he offered no reassurance, she rose awkwardly. “I’d better be going.”
He stood, also. “I’m sorry if I’ve led you to believe there’s any flexibility in our contract. It’s very clear on the subject of custody.”
“I’m aware of that,” Kate said tightly.
“Second thoughts may be natural, but you should have considered all the issues before you signed those documents.” Was he trying to tick her off? “How can anyone consider all the issues? Seven months ago, you had no more idea than I did of how you’d feel at this point!”
“That’s irrelevant.”
Did he have to act like such a…such a lawyer? “What if Tara confronts me someday and says, ‘How could you abandon me and let me grow up without a mom?’ What if she asks how you could keep her away from her mother? This isn’t a house we contracted to build, it’s a person! And she was supposed to have a mother.”
His eyes narrowed. “If we’re going to court over this, I assure you, I will win.”
Kate bit off an angry reply. “Whether you’d win or not, you know perfectly well I can’t afford to fight you,” she said as steadily as she could. “All I’m asking is for you to consider our daughter’s future happiness, the way I’m doing.”
His Hired Baby Page 8
