by B. L. Berry
And even more, this dress makes me feel exquisite. I remember Gen prattling on about how radiant she felt when she found her wedding dress. She automatically knew it was the one. I imagine it’s something like this feeling. I reach out and take Phoenix’s hands with a smile.
“Thank you for the dress. It’s perfect. And for the flowers. And the rickshaw ride.” I smile and know that nothing else in the world matters except for what is standing before me.
“Happy birthday, Ivy.”
Phoenix remembered. My heart skips a beat and I can’t avoid the subtle blushing that floods my cheeks. He pulls my hands and greets me with a quick kiss before leading me to the table and pulling out my chair.
I can’t recall any other guy I’ve dated pulling out my chair.
Moments later, a server appears and a bottle of pinot noir is poured into two glasses and a plate of antipasto set between us. In spite of the busy dining room, the entire winter garden is empty except for us.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of ordering for us.”
“Not at all,” I say, taking in the beautiful, thoughtful man in front of me. Some girls may be offended by having someone order on their behalf, including me. Well, the old me. But I like how Phoenix wants to take care of me. I look around the room in awe. “This is really impressive.”
“I never want to stop impressing you, Ivy.”
I imagine that my parents stopped trying to impress each other years ago, and it likely helped contribute to the demise of their relationship. For things to work, you always have to be trying. No matter how big or small, love requires effort, even when it comes naturally. But especially when it doesn’t come naturally. That’s when you risk losing it all. Love takes work. And the two of us know this. More than most.
“Well, you’ve certainly managed to outdo yourself.” I inhale the wine in appreciation before taking a small sip.
Phoenix reaches across the table and takes my hand in his, giving it a squeeze before tracing circles with his thumb on my palm. He looks like he wants to tell me something, but instead, he lets go of my hand and picks up his fork. I watch as he spears a piece of fresh mozzarella and brings it up to my mouth in a sweet offering.
“So how was the rest of your day?” he asks as I chew slowly, relishing in the flavor.
“Pretty good. Brock is an interesting duck, to say the least. He has more major changes for the show. I’m not sure why I even bother pressing him for decisions this far out because I know I’ll be scrambling with his changes up until the minute his show starts.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah. Brock is … something else, for sure.”
I giggle softly. “I think he likes you. As in he like likes you.”
He brings his napkin up to his mouth and adjusts himself in his chair uncomfortably. “Well, then it looks like you and Brock have that one thing in common. Hopefully, he didn’t take my lack of interest too hard,” he jokes.
“I thought you were going to pee on my leg. Mark your territory to make sure he knew I was spoken for.” I laugh.
“Can you blame me? I just don’t want to lose you to anyone.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
“I hope not. I know firsthand that you can always lose the person you love and that’s what scares me the most. Just because I have you today, doesn’t mean I’m going to have you tomorrow. And that terrifies me.”
I reach across the table and take his hand in mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I hope not,” he says in a barely audible breath.
MY BIRTHDAY DINNER CONTINUES ON without a hitch. I love being able to reconnect with him in spite of our lives being so crazy busy these days. Two bottles of wine, some pesto lasagna and a shared slice of tiramisu later, I feel like he’s going to have to carry me home. When I return from using the powder room, he smiles nervously at me.
“I have one last gift for you. I’m sorry it’s not wrapped.”
I softly gasp as he places a small square jewelry box on the table. I run my fingers over the navy velvet material and smile.
“You’ve already done too much, Phoenix. The dress … the flowers … this dinner…” I look around the empty room of the restaurant. “You didn’t need to do this.”
I like to think I’m a simple girl who just happens to come with excess baggage. And while he treats me like a queen, he doesn’t need to be flaunting or wooing me over. But even though he didn’t need to, I’d be absolutely lying if I said I didn’t love every moment of it. Because I do. Because I’ve never had a man go to the edges of the earth quite like he does.
“I know I didn’t need to do this. But I wanted to. In fact, I had to. Like I said earlier, I never want to stop impressing you.” Phoenix gestures to the box. “Open it up and I’ll explain why.”
Slowly, I pick up the box and look at him with cautious eyes. Surely he’s not proposing right now, right? It’s far too soon. He sits up a little straighter and smiles confidently. When I lift the lid off the top of the box, my breath hitches.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper.
Embedded in a piece of plush scarlet fabric is a silver necklace. I lift it out of the box by the chain and closely examine the simple charm with my fingertips. It’s the outline of an origami paper crane made out of white gold. I’m instantly reminded of the day where I came home to find him folding paper cranes in our kitchen.
My heart skyrockets and melts all at the same time. I’m about to burst with love.
“Here … let me help you.” Phoenix stands and takes the necklace from my hands, walking around behind me. I scoot my chair back and stand to meet him.
I sweep my long, dark hair over my shoulder and he clasps the necklace around my neck, then hugs me from behind. I close my eyes and lean back into him as we sway gently to a silent tune. His breath is hot as he leans down and leaves a trail of kisses on my skin, starting behind my ear and slowly moving down my neck.
But as wonderful as his gifts are, I don’t need the concrete things to feel his love. I need the intangible. The hummingbird wings in my heart … the delicate somersaults in my stomach … the tingle that travels from my chest all the way down to my toes each time he looks at me through hooded eyes. He gives me all of this and more.
I feel Phoenix take a deep breath and lower his lips down to my ear. His voice is low and sincere and tender. “My mother would have loved you, Ivy. So much. Arguably more than I do.” He laughs softly into my neck and it sends chills down my body. “If you had the chance to meet her she would, no doubt, already be harassing us about giving her grandbabies. And one day we will give them to her, even though she’s not here with us. I hate that you’ll never get to know her.”
My heart breaks a little, knowing that I’ll never have the opportunity to sit down and look through Phoenix’s childhood photos with her. Hear stories about how much of a handful he was as a little boy. Or secretly plan surprise parties with her for her son. But even through all that sorrow, knowing he’s sure that she would have loved me brings some resolution. And hearing him talk about having babies … well, that just sends me heart aflutter.
I nuzzle into his body a little more, taking in his warmth. Phoenix spins me around in his arms and presses his forehead to mine.
“This necklace,” he pauses, choking up as he thumbs the metal bird around my neck. His voice is barely a whisper. “This necklace … It was hers. I just … I wanted to give you a way to be close to her. To know that she would have loved you as if you were her own daughter. And I know that, one day, you will be. For more than twenty years, my mother was the most important woman in my life. And for the longest time, I never thought anyone could take her place. But you, Ivy … you’ve shown me how to love someone wholeheartedly. You’ve shown me how to surrender myself to this crazy emotion and just exist with no one in the world but you. Just like my mother loved my father, screw ups and all—you’ve managed to find a way to love me. And ever since I met you, you’ve bec
ome the most important woman in my life. You’re beautiful. And phenomenal. And resilient. And I love that you chose me. Thank you for choosing me.”
I look up at Phoenix with tears pooling my eyes. This man has given me everything. More than I’ve ever wanted. More than I thought I needed. And more than I probably deserve. I know I should feel inadequate in his presence, but he lifts me in ways I never dreamed possible.
Tears of love and happiness start to spill down my cheeks. I reach my hands up, holding his face in my fingertips. In his eyes, I see years of pain, repaired by what we have. We’re both broken in so many ways, and yet we’ve found a way to mend ourselves together. And through that healing, his pieces and my pieces changed to our pieces and we’re forever mixed. He’s now as much a part of me as I am him. The way he looks at me tells a tale of love. I know that he’s a good man. An incredible one, in fact. And he makes me a better person.
But the best part about him? He’s mine!
And I know that it’s forever.
I roll up onto my tiptoes and press my lips to his, pouring every last ounce of love I have into this kiss. His body molds to mine, fitting perfectly together. It feels like it’s our first kiss and last kiss and every kiss in between all rolled into one. Phoenix knows how to ruin me in all the best ways possible.
I surrender myself to him as he grabs the back of my head and deepens the kiss. He pulls my hair lustfully and desire courses my veins, my body igniting with passion. I trace my hands down the front of his shirt and fist the soft fabric in my hands, pulling him closer to me. He moans into my mouth and the vibrations in his chest send my body into overdrive and I trail my hands lower. I whimper in response, plunging my tongue into his mouth before clenching the buckle of his belt with my fist to pull him closer, not so subtly letting him know where my mind is at.
It’s impossible to tell how much time passes as we stand there, lip locked and tangled in each other’s grasp. Minutes or hours … I always find a way to lose myself in him.
I pull away, revealing nothing but pure longing and need in my eyes. The kiss may have started slow, but it quickly escalated leaving us both in a heated, breathless mess. Fighting the urge to strip down here in public and have my way with him proves to be quite the challenge.
I want him.
No … I need him.
Now.
“Ready to go?” I ask, a little eager to get him home.
He licks his swollen lips before narrowing his eyes playfully. “In a rush, my dear?” He chuckles softly.
“Eh, a little bit.” I blush and try to hide the excitement in my voice. The effect he has on me with a single kiss …
God, there are so many things I am ready to do with you.
“No, I’m not ready to go. Because I’m not ready to rush things with you.” He brings his hand to my chin and runs his thumb over my lips. He speaks pointedly. “Trust me, Ivy. With you … I’m going to take my time … savor every taste … kiss every inch of that porcelain skin … and worship you … exactly like you deserve to be worshiped.”
My entire body hums at his implication of his words. Phoenix pushes his thumb into my mouth and I gently bite. He smiles devilishly.
“Oh, good God,” I whisper.
“Phoenix. My name is Phoenix.” He stares intently, practically fucking me with his eyes. I know I’ve won when the glint in his eyes lights up his whole face.
“Oh, the hell with it!”
He throws down a stack of bills, snatches up our things and takes my hand, leading me up the stairs and through the restaurant at a breakneck pace.
THE START OF OUR CAB ride was a little intense. I nearly mauled him in the backseat but was a little uncomfortable making out like horny teenagers under the watchful eye of the cabbie in front of us. Slowly, the electrical charge in the air between us dissipates and by the time we arrive back at the apartment, the chivalrous gentleman has returned.
Eager to keep the spark alive, I slip out of the cab and pull him out behind me. Phoenix holds the door open for me as we walk into the lobby of our building and up the stairs. But when we get to the front door of our apartment, he stops and turns me toward him with a glint of delight in his eye.
“Happy birthday, hon. I hope you enjoyed dinner.”
“Thank you, Phoenix. Tonight was truly something else.”
“And thank you for agreeing to a date, Ivy.” He takes my face in his hands, firm but gentle, and gives me a deep kiss I feel all the way down through my toes. When he pulls away, the smile in his eyes tells me everything I need to know. Everything that I already know.
This man loves me unconditionally.
And I want to give him every last piece of my heart. I probably would have given it to him back there at the restaurant, or hell, even in the cab, if he wasn’t so damn cavalier.
“Good night, Ivy.” He picks my hand up and kisses it softly before turning around to walk down the hall.
Good night? Oh, hell no.
“Phoenix! What are you doing?” I call out to him when he is almost at the stairwell.
He stops in his tracks and turns around to look at me.
“This was a date. I'm dropping you off,” he says like his motives should be obvious to me.
Dropping me off? Oh. This isn’t just a date night. He wanted this to be a date date.
Well, two can play this game.
He is, was, and always will be ever the gentleman.
“Oh … well, I hope you don’t wait three days to call and ask me out again.” I pull out the keys from my clutch, unlock the door and step inside, leaving it slightly cracked. He laughs softly from the hallway and I fight my growing smile.
One … two … three …
I pop my head back through the doorframe.
“Hey, Phoenix,” I call out to him. “Do you … uh, want to come inside? Have a night cap or something?” Or me? I offer up a coquettish smile, knowing full well the double meaning of my questions.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
He jogs back to the door and I step out of the way to let him in.
Everything is in its usual place. If I said I wasn’t a little disappointed, I’d be lying. After such a thoughtful evening, I half expected candles and flowers scattered throughout the apartment. While Phoenix is a hopeless romantic, he is first and foremost a chivalric man. He would never assume that a date of this caliber would lead to anything.
And that is one of the many things I adore about him.
“There’s another bottle of wine in the fridge if you want to grab it. I’m just going to slip into something a little more comfortable.” I try to sound innocent, but there’s a little too much excitement as I utter the cliché.
I retreat to the bedroom and steel myself, knowing exactly what I want for my birthday. Exactly what I’m ready for.
Him.
We’ve spent the past few months building a fire … each kiss, each touch, each hungry glance adding more fuel. And tonight I’m finally ready to light the match.
The mere thought of sleeping with Phoenix makes my heart beat faster.
“Here, let me help you.” He walks up behind me and I feel his hands on waist. I sweep my long hair over my shoulder, giving him access to the back of my dress. He kisses the base of my neck and in between my shoulder blades before undoing the clasp and pulling down on the zipper.
With his fingertip, he traces the outline of a heart on my shoulder. It leaves my skin ablaze.
Just as my dress falls at our feet, Phoenix’s phone rings.
He quickly pulls it out from his pocket, declining the call and tosses it on the nightstand.
I turn to meet his hungry gaze. My body thirsts for him and I want to drink in every last drop. But I need to ask about the call.
“Phoenix … what if that was—”
“No. Tonight is your night. Whoever that is can wait.”
It rings again, the vibrating sound against the wood irritating us both.
I take the
two steps toward the nightstand to pick up his phone. It’s his dad. As much as I need Phoenix right now, he needs to talk with him.
That doesn’t mean I can’t drive him crazy in the process though. I smile sweetly at Phoenix and push the accept button.
“Hi, Mr. Wolfe!” I toy with the lace on the cup of my bra as I watch Phoenix explore my near naked body from afar. “Sure. Phoenix is right here.”
I hand him the phone with a smirk and reach around to unclasp my bra. Phoenix clears his throat before shaking his head with a devilish look in his eyes. He excuses himself to the kitchen. Quickly, I grab my softest camisole and slip into a pair of Phoenix's plaid boxers.
Minutes later he returns, handing me a glass of wine.
“That wasn’t very nice, Ivy.” His voice is low and brooding.
“Neither is ignoring your dad.” I smile sweetly and take a healthy sip from the stemless glass. He mulls over my words, realizing I’m right and swiftly changes the subject.
“Nice underwear.”
“Thanks.” I wink. “And thank you again for the wonderful evening, Phoenix. It truly was unexpected.”
He grins and takes the paper crane charm around my neck in between his fingers. “It looks beautiful on you.” He pauses thoughtfully while savoring a small sip of wine. “So … we could … uh, watch a movie or something.”
A movie? He’s kidding, right? Always so unassuming.
I cough demurely and shake my head.
“Or not. I guess we could pick up where we left off before you so rudely answered my phone.”
I bite my lip to fight the growing smile on my face.
“Get over here and kiss me, Phoenix,” I husk.
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. His lips come crashing into mine like waves on a rocky shoreline over and over again. He feels so damn good.
“You’re wearing entirely too many clothes right now,” I state with conviction and anxiously unbutton his shirt, throwing it to the floor. My thumbs refuse to work as I fumble with his belt buckle. I can’t unhook it fast enough, adrenaline charging my body.
