by Radclyffe
[email protected] : That I worship you. You're all I care about.
[email protected] :: Maybe because you're killing people and threatening my friends.
[email protected] : You don't leave me any choice. You ignore me.
[email protected] :: I'm not ignoring you now.
[email protected] : This isn't enough.
[email protected] :: What do you want?
[email protected] : I want to see you. I want to make you understand.
[email protected] :: Do you really love me?
[email protected] : I live for you.
[email protected] :: If I come, will you stop the killing?
[email protected] : Yes.
[email protected] :: Do you promise?
[email protected] : I have been patient long enough. You know what I'll do if you deny me.
Lindsey pointed to the last line. "Here's the problem part. Until this point, he's negotiating. But the minute Egret questions him, which, by the way, I'm glad she did - it's in character for her - he reverts to threats."
Cam's stomach clenched. "Is he threatening her ?"
Lindsey hesitated. "Probably. Yes - I think yes. He's had his fill of substitutes, I think. He wants her and no one else. If he can't have her now, I'd say that she'll become his target, and he won't stop until you catch him."
Cam pulled out the chair next to her and sat, rubbing her eyes. "What does that mean for the operation? Will he show?"
"He's highly intelligent, so he must suspect a trap. On the other hand, he's arrogant and believes that he can't be caught. It depends on the balance between his ability to think rationally and his need to see her - to touch her - in the flesh. By now he must be wild for her. So - maybe."
"I need better than 'maybe', Ryan," Cam said quietly. "I've got an agent going into that meet alone. And I've got Egret locked up in here and I can't keep her here forever." She repeated, "Will he be there?"
Lindsey considered the image of the man she had formed in her mind after spending dozens of hours reading his messages to Blair Powell. He was completely and totally obsessed with her, and he spent every second of every day thinking about her. He fantasized about her returning his affections, about her fulfilling his needs; he had built an elaborate delusional system with her as his psychosexual center; he had resorted to violence to make her recognize his desires.
"He'll be there."
Cam stood, satisfied. They had less than a day to prepare, and even though Doyle was coordinating the teams, she was reviewing everything herself. Ellen Grant was going in with every bit of protection Cam could give her.
"Why is he doing this?" Cam asked finally. "He must know we'll be all over that place."
Lindsey shrugged. "Ms. Powell assured him that she would not reveal their plans. He needs to believe that, because he needs to believe that she desires him, the way he desires her. The rational part of him will be suspicious, but the psychotic part desperately needs to believe that she is coming to him out of mutual love and desire."
"What if he discovers that she betrayed him?"
Lindsey Ryan said quietly, "Then he'll kill her, or anyone we send in her place."
1030
Stark found her in the workout room down the hall from the command center. She was wearing black lycra shorts and a sports bra and she was punching hell out of a heavy hanging bag. The sweat on her skin made its coffee color shine like bronze and Stark felt her mouth go dry watching her. She'd looked like a gazelle running that day in the park - Jesus, was it only six days ago? - but now, with her muscles tensing under her smooth skin and the swift, even recoil of her limbs as she danced around the swinging bag, she looked more like a leopard running its prey to ground.
Savard looked over and saw her standing there, an expression on her face that would have surely made her blush if she'd seen herself. She smiled as she thundered one last right hook into the leather. Then she wiped her forearm across her face, shook most of the sweat from her hair, and walked over to her.
"Any news?"
Stark shook her head. "Still a green light for tonight."
"Good," Savard grunted, working at the laces on her right glove with her teeth. "It's time to put this bastard away."
"Here, let me get that," Stark said, reaching for the ties on the heavy boxing glove. Her hands were shaking. God.
Savard stepped back a pace and looked at her. "You okay?" she said, her voice surprisingly soft. The bruises had faded from around Stark's eyes, but the stitches were still there, a neat row of tiny black ants marching across her smooth pale forehead. "Does your head still hurt?" she asked even more gently.
"No," Stark said, not looking up, her head bent as she worked at the stubborn knot in the laces. "It's fine."
Savard raised the glove until it rested under Paula Stark's chin and then gently pushed, forcing her head up, forcing Stark to look at her. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
Stark stood very still, struggling to express emotions she scarcely understood herself. "It's going to get hectic later. I'll be in one of the back-up cars. I probably won't see you alone again before you go."
Renee waited.
Stark swallowed. "I just wanted to remind you that we -- that later -- when you get back"
"We have a date. I won't forget," Renee said tenderly. She leaned forward and kissed her very lightly on the mouth. "You're brave, you know." She wasn't talking about the job.
"Not so very," Stark whispered, trembling in a place she had never trembled before.
"I'll see you when it's over," Savard murmured, then stepped around her and disappeared.
Stark closed her eyes, feeling the kiss still soft upon her lips. Please just come back.
1530
Cam stood to the rear of the room, listening while Doyle outlined the operation assignments to the FBI, ATF, SWAT and bomb squads. The State Police would be assisting with road blocks once the assault and capture teams were in place, and their captain was there, too.
Eight hours to go.
She was there because she wanted to know where everyone else would be if things started to go bad. Grant would not be caught in anybody's crossfire, because Cam intended to be right on her heels. She had been involved in the planning from the minute Loverboy took the bait and gave Blair the location - an abandoned amusement park. Doyle couldn't keep her out since he was using her agent.
Cam looked at Grant now, and motioned with her head to the hallway outside.
"You okay?" Cam asked.
Grant nodded. "Fine."
"Savard will wire you before you armor up," Cam reminded her. "I want to hear your voice every step. Everything you hear, everything you see, everything you think you see - I want to know about it."
"Yes, ma'am."
"You key on my voice. You do not engage, you do not intercept, unless you hear it from me."
Grant looked at her, a question in her eyes. SAC Doyle was supposed to be relaying her orders from a surveillance post on top of a warehouse five hundred yards from the contact point.
"I'll be on the ground with Savard, closer to you than anyone else," Cam said. "I'll hear the directives at the same time you do. And I'll have a better read on the situation than he will. You go when I confirm, understood?"
"Yes, ma'am, I understand," Grant said. "Thank you." She hesitated a second, then added quietly, "Commander, my husband's on patrol tonight. I'll leave his number-"
Cam interrupted firmly. "The only person calling your husband tonight, Agent Grant, will be you when this action is over. Are we clear on that?"
Grant smiled gratefully. "Yes, ma'am. Quite clear."
"Good, then go get some rest."
Cam watched her walk away and checked her watch. Then she went in search of Savard.
1730
Savard was laying out body armor and sorting rounds of ammunition in the small weapons room next to the main command center when Cam found her.
"Everything in order
?"
Savard glanced up at her and nodded. "Yes ma'am. Locked and loaded."
"Good," Cam replied, leaning against the doorway, her arms folded over her chest. "About tonight," she began.
"Yes?" Savard replied, studying her, noting the hard stillness in her eyes. There was a finality there that told her whatever was coming was not going to be negotiable.
"Ellen Grant is mine," Cam said quietly. "No one is going to order her into danger except me."
Savard thought about that. She could go to Doyle now and tell him that there was a conflict in command, because she knew that he expected to control Grant's movements. Roberts was giving her a choice. Which meant that she was also giving her the responsibility, and the accountability. Once they reached the rendezvous, there would just be the four of them. Grant, Roberts, her and - Loverboy. It came down to who she wanted to make the final call, and whose judgment she wanted to rely on in the heat of the moment.
"You'll be the senior agent in the field, Commander," she said quite clearly. "I have no problem with you making the call."
Cam nodded and straightened up. She still needed to go over the com links with Mac, and then review the construction plans they had received from the city planning office for the amusement park. She needed-
"Commander?" Savard said, breaking into her thoughts.
"Yes?" Cam asked.
"You'll need to be fresh, too, and you haven't had much sleep the last couple of days."
Cam raised an eyebrow, surprised by her frankness.
"There's still a few hours before we have to gear up," Savard remarked.
"I'll take that under advisement," Cam said. "Thank you, Agent."
Savard took one step forward, reached to touch her, then stopped. "We're all trained for this. It must be very difficult for someone who isn't - the uncertainty of it all." She hesitated, then added, "She'll need to hear that you'll be back."
Cam stared at her, expressionless for what seemed like an interminable length of time, before a grin lifted one corner of her mouth. "They certainly are not making FBI agents the way they used to."
Savard grinned back. "No, ma'am, they're not."
Chapter thirty-six
1800
For the third time in as many days, Cam stood at Blair's door, knowing that when she crossed the threshold, her life would change. Each time she stepped outside of her comfortable world of regulations and routine to enter the uncertain arena of her relationship with Blair, she came away more deeply bound to her. It wasn't easy, but she couldn't deny that she wanted it. More than that, she couldn't deny that she needed it.
Blair opened the door and said softly, "Hi."
"Hi," Cam said, not yet moving to enter. Blair looked tired and that was unusual for her. There were smudges of fatigue under her eyes and the smile she offered Cam was tinged with sadness. Cam reached out and ran her fingertips over Blair's cheek. "Have you slept?"
Blair shook her head. "I meant to, but I couldn't stop thinking."
"You should try," Cam said gently. "It's going to be a long night."
"I know," Blair answered softly. She wanted to reach out to her, to pull her inside. But she also knew that she wanted to keep her inside, away from the night, away from the danger, and that wasn't her choice to make. It hurt to think that Cam would not choose safety over responsibility, even for her. So she stood waiting, wondering what it was that Cam really wanted. Finally she said, "I wasn't sure you would come."
Cam lifted her fingers briefly to Blair's face again. "I'm sorry you didn't know that," she murmured. "I'm sorry for the pain of all of this."
"No," Blair said quickly. "That's not your doing. It never has been."
"I could have done things differently," Cam said softly. "Between us."
Blair smiled at that, a faint fond smile. "Could you have?"
Cam shook her head. "No. But I wish that I could have, so as not to hurt you."
"That just might be enough," Blair admitted, because she couldn't imagine which part of Cam could be changed without destroying some essential element of her. She feared that to change her would be to lose her.
"Blair," Cam said urgently, "I want you to know"
Blair stopped her with her fingers on her lips. "Will you come in now?"
Cam kissed her fingertips. "Yes."
"Can you stay?" she asked again.
"For a little while."
"That won't always be enough," Blair warned, but there was no anger in her voice.
"I understand," Cam replied, stepping across the threshold. "But I won't always be leaving."
Then Cam was inside, and Blair closed the door, and they were alone. Blair raised her arms to Cam's shoulders and moved up against her, resting her face on Cam's shoulder. She sighed, and as she couldn't seem to do before, she let go of everything in her mind and floated in the certainty of Cam's embrace.
"Let's go to bed," Blair finally murmured. "I need to hold you."
"Yes," Cam answered quietly, her lips moving gently on Blair's ear. "I need to tell you things."
And then they were naked in one another's arms, face to face, covered only by a light cotton sheet. Slowly, they kissed, each exploring the other anew with gentle strokes and tender caresses. They didn't hurry, but touched with absolute certainty, as if there had been no beginning and there would be no ending. Slowly, they stirred one another until they trembled together, breathless and poised on the precipice, ready to fall.
Blair brought one leg over Cam's hips, opening herself, as she stared into Cam's eyes. "Come inside," she whispered.
Cam slid her hand between their bodies, her fingers parting the swollen flesh, gliding over Blair's clitoris, making her gasp and quiver. "In a minute," she whispered back.
Their eyes locked as Cam held her tightly, drawing her fingers lightly back and forth over the exposed, exquisitely sensitive tip. Blair's fingers dug into her arm, and Cam murmured, "There's no hurry. Let me have you."
Blair was barely breathing, her muscles clenched and begging for release, every cell focused on the overpowering pleasure rippling under Cam's fingertips. "Oh please," Blair moaned at last. "Let me come."
Cam pressed harder, circling faster, each knowing stroke bringing her slowly but steadily to orgasm. She watched Blair's blue eyes darken to purple and lose focus.
"I love you," Cam whispered as Blair threw her head back and cried out sharply, pushing down hard against Cam's hand. Cam entered her then, prolonging the spasms with each thrust of her arm until Blair grew quiet and sagged against her.
"You wreck me," Blair gasped finally.
Cam wrapped her arms around her tightly. "I meant to."
"Just give me a minute to catch my breath," Blair murmured, pressing her lips to Cam's shoulder, wondering if she would ever recover, not from the pleasure, but from the agony of loving her so much.
"I'm okay," Cam answered, kissing Blair's temple gently.
"Bullshit," Blair laughed softly. "I can feel you on my leg, and you're a long ways from being okay."
To prove her point, Blair pressed her thigh hard between Cam's legs, and Cam groaned at the rapid surge of blood into her clitoris. "No fair," she gasped.
"Yes, fair," Blair said firmly, pushing Cam onto her back and rolling on top of her. "I told you I just needed a minute."
Cam looked up at her and grinned. "That's probably all I'll need, too."
"Oh no, Commander," Blair said softly. "I want much more than that from you."
And then Blair took her slowly, with her mouth and her hands and her tender caresses, drawing the fire from her blood and the heat from her bones, igniting her nerves and scorching her senses, until all Cam knew was Blair and all she could do was cry out her name.
*****
They slept for an hour and awakened together, just on the other side of darkness. They lay side by side, hands clasped, their fingers entwined.
"What happens now?" Blair asked in the stillness.
Cam spoke quietly
, her voice steady and calm. "At twenty-one hundred hours, Savard and I will leave for the rendezvous site. Thirty minutes later, Grant will walk out the front entrance and flag down a cab. Stark and Fielding will be in that cab. We're assuming that Loverboy may be watching here to assure himself that you are really going to meet him, and that you're coming alone as you said that you would. It's possible that he has someone else watching the building for him and relaying a message. Either way, it will look like you have once again slipped by us and are on your way to him."
"So how will he get to the meeting site on time, if he's here when Grant leaves?"
"Lindsey Ryan speculates that he chose this site some time ago, and I agree. He was prepared when you agreed to meet him. He named that place and time almost immediately. It may have just been his fantasy that you would someday come to him, but Lindsey thinks he's actually been there, and may have already 'readied' it for you."
Blair shivered at the thought of someone creating these elaborate fantasies with her as the star. It made her feel as if someone had been touching her while she slept.
Cam slipped her arm around her shoulder and drew her near. "Blair, you don't need to hear all of this."
"No," Blair said quickly, her voice strong and determined. "I want to know. All of it."
Cam continued. "He'll either follow Grant to the site or use an alternate route to arrive before her. Since he's familiar with the area, we assume that he'll have planned a way into the arcade without detection. We'll already be in place when she arrives."
"But she's not really going to meet him, is she?" Blair asked worriedly.
"No," Cam said with certainty. "Doyle's team will have infrared heat seeking scopes that will pinpoint the location of any living thing bigger than a dumpster rat within a hundred yards of the meet site. They'll hone in on him and take him out. Grant's only role is to leave here as you and get out of the cab at the entrance to the amusement park. She's not going to actually enter the arcade."
"And you and Savard?" Blair asked quietly, her heart pounding.
Cam leaned up on elbow so that she could look into Blair's eyes. The room lights were off, but the streetlights outside the loft windows were enough for them to see each other. "We'll be there for ground support only, to assure that Grant is covered if any action takes place near her and to get her to the back up car which will be nearby. Escort duty only."
