How could she be pregnant? She and Jackson had been responsible. They’d used protection. A little refrain that taunted the words “nothing is a hundred percent” ran circles in her mind. Just why in the world did she have to fall into the percentage that didn’t work?
Her life was snowballing to disaster. How was she going to work and raise a child? Her mom had been a working mom and Nan had sworn she would be there for her child. She’d have to come up with a plan. There wasn’t any other option.
A baby. She was going to have a baby, a soft cuddly, wailing bundle of lovable trouble. Both joy and fear filled her heart. She wasn’t even sure what she said to the ER doctor. She took her prescriptions and papers and stumbled out of the hospital.
She headed to her car, but stopped halfway through the parking lot, blinking in disbelief.
Jackson, all work-boot-grubby-gorgeous sat on her car hood.
Tears sprang to her eyes. Tears for all the things she had dreamed she wanted for her family. Tears for the fact that she loved a man who could never be the husband she needed. She started to cry and couldn’t seem to stop.
He saw her then. Got off the hood and walked her way. Nan started to run right at him. He quickened his pace, opened his arms. Just as Nan got to him, she ducked under his arm and dashed for her car. Hands trembling, she fumbled with her keys, trying to see through the tears.
"Nan, what wrong?" Jackson came up behind her.
"Nothing." She got the door opened.
"Nan, damn it. Tell me what has happened?"
Swiping her tears, she looked at him. Oh, God. How could he still look so good? "What do you want, Jack?"
He held up a little plastic bag. In it was a tiny blue flower. "The plant you gave me. It bloomed."
Nan could barely speak from the emotion clogging her throat. "I lied," she said. "I lied about African Violets bringing happiness to those who keep them. I made it up when I was a little girl because I wanted it to be true." He voice caught on a sob and she got into the car, shutting and locking the doors.
Jackson knocked on the window. Nan shook her head and started the car, taking off and nearly knocking Jackson over.
* * *
Jackson picked up the little bag with the flower. He'd dropped it in trying to get Nan to open the door and she'd run over it as she left.
What in the hell was wrong with her?
He got into his truck and followed her.
At her apartment, he knocked twice, didn't get an answer so he pounded on the door. “Damn it, Nan. Open up and tell me what is wrong or I’m going to call an ambulance.”
He heard her sobs on the other side of the door and his heart wrenched painfully. In that moment, he knew he loved her. Whether he wanted to or not, whether he was able to or not. He loved her.
“Go away, Jack. You can’t help me.”
“Nan, for God’s sake. What is wrong?” The pain in her voice ripped at him.
She opened the door. Her eyes and nose were reddened from tears and he could see the depth of emotional pain etched upon her face. “I saw a doctor today. I’m pregnant and to make matters worse my gloxinia has botrytis.”
Jackson stumbled and nearly fainted on Nan’s doorstep as shock drained the blood from his head. Why couldn’t he help? Dawning pain hit him in the gut. She’d fainted at the hospital party. Her exhaustion and the other times she nearly fainted after then ran clearly through his mind. It all added up. “I’ll be right back.” Jackson shouted and headed for his truck. Brad Swanson had a lot to answer for.
On the way to Brad’s office, Jackson recklessly pulled off the road three times wrestling with the overwhelming desire to go back to Nan and beg her to marry him. He didn’t care if she carried another man’s child. He loved her.
But then other things crept into his mind. His mother was right. Hell he’d been in better shape to handle a child at sixteen than he was now. How had his life ended up in such a sorry ass state?
It wasn’t just Nan, there was a child involved and that child deserved a chance to be with its father. God, if there was any way he could have held his own baby… Jackson knew he would have fought heaven and earth to do it. God had chosen otherwise and Jackson didn’t think he’d ever understand. Now that he found love again, he was losing that too. “It sucks, God. Do you hear me!”
Jackson found Swanson at his office. He grabbed the man by the collar of his Armani suit and dragged him out.
“Have you completely gone insane, Weldon? What are you doing? Call the police, Eleanor,” Brad shouted as Jackson pulled him by the receptionist’s desk.
“Your boss has a family emergency. Cancel the rest of his appointments. I’m taking you to see Nan and you damn well better do the right thing.” He pushed Swanson into the truck.
“What’s wrong with Nancy? Does she need a doctor?”
“No. She needs a man to be a man. Now shut up until we get to her apartment. If you talk, I might just change my mind and beat you up anyway.”
“You’ve finally gone over the edge, Weldon. I’m going to prosecute you for this.”
“I said shut up.”
Brad said no more until they were at Nan’s door. “Now what?”
“Do I have to spell this out? Knock on the damn door.”
Brad knocked and to Jackson’s amazement Nan opened the door.
“Brad? What are you doing here?”
“I’m wondering the same thing myself.”
Jackson poked Brad in the back. “He’s here to do the honorable thing.”
“He is?” Nan said.
“I am?” Brad questioned.
“Yes, damn it. You got her pregnant. Now ask her to marry you, or you’re going to wish you were dead.”
“Weldon. You need to go back to med school. A woman doesn’t get pregnant from one kiss.”
“You mean you and she didn’t, uh…”
Nan frowned and pointed an irritated finger right at him. “He’s not the father, you jackass. You are. Are you ready to be a father?”
Jackson’s mouth opened and shut like a fish out of water. Nan was pregnant with his baby? Joy and a truckload of fear lodged in his throat.
“I didn’t think so. Let me tell you something. I will never marry someone because they feel obligated.” Nan slammed the door in their faces.
“Well, Weldon—”
“Shut up or die, Swanson.”
Jackson knocked on the door. She didn’t answer it.
“I have to get back to my office.”
“Do you have a death wish or something? I’ve got a family emergency here. Take my truck if you have to, but don’t bug me. The spare keys are under the driver’s floor mat.”
His child! Dear God, he was going to have a baby! Jackson knocked a little harder this time, sweating more than the heat of afternoon sun called for. His guts were a whirling storm of mixed feelings, and he only knew one thing for sure. He couldn’t lose Nan, couldn't lose this second chance at life. “Nan, damn it. We have to talk.”
“You might want to give her some time to cool down. I think you just stepped all over those emotions she thinks are so important.”
“Aren’t you gone yet?”
“I can’t possibly drive that thing. It doesn’t have precision steering or anti-lock brakes. I’d probably wreck and either cause myself or someone else harm.”
“Tell you what, Swanson. Why don’t you go and stand in front of it, then I’ll get in and show you how it works.”
“No need to be sarcastic, Weldon. I’m only here because you screwed up, twice in fact.”
Jackson pounded on Nan’s door again, this time picturing Brad’s face in front of him.
“You’re determined to screw up a third time, aren’t you?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Logic points to the fact that she’s never going to believe you aren’t trying to do the honorable thing until you can prove differently.”
“How?”
“You obviously got to know her a whole lot better than I did. Considering her mind set, I don’t think a simple marriage proposal will do. You’ll have to figure out something bigger than that. Meanwhile, take me back to my office.”
Jackson stomped to his truck. He either had to take Swanson back now or face murder one. Considering Nan was pregnant, he’d best stay out of jail.
“Why’d you quit medicine back in Chicago, Weldon? Not that I believe them, but there were reports that you were the best ER doctor on the staff.”
“Why in the hell do you want to know?”
Brad shrugged. “Just curious as to why a man would spend years achieving something and then walk away.”
“I put my career first and that choice killed my pregnant wife. You might want to change your ways before you have to pay such a price.”
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” Shock replaced Brad’s usual supercilious frown, and he didn’t say anything else all the way back to his office. A police cruiser sat out front.
“Why don’t you drop me off in the back?”
Jackson wisely swung the truck around to the back of the building.
“How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Nan is such a sensible woman. How did you make her fall in love with you?”
Jackson thought back to the weekend he had spent with Nan, remembered their passion, and realized that in those moments she had become everything to him. “For just a short time, when I was thinking clearly, I made her my world, and nothing but her mattered.”
Brad left, shaking his head, and Jackson doubted the man would ever understand. But thank God he did. A baby. His Nan was going to have a baby. Nope, not exactly his Nan yet. As Jackson drove back to his parent’s house to take a shower, an idea began to form.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
He was back at Nan’s two hours later. This time when he knocked on the door, she answered.
“Thank God,” he said, looking her over. Her eyes and nose were red, but she’d stopped crying. He took that as a good sign. He leaned over to kiss her, and she backed away.
“Don’t touch me. You’re only here to talk, to plan what part you are going to have in this baby’s life.”
A twitch began in his right eye. A plan. Had she already planned him out of her life? Planned every detail of their child’s life?
Jackson drew a deep breath and roped back in his emotions. Who was he to complain? He really hadn’t given her many options and what else could he expect her to do when faced with a crisis? She was a planner, and he’d known that long before he loved her. He would just have to learn to take it in stride. “I’ve got a plan for you to see.”
Nan blinked. “What kind of plan?” she said suspiciously.
“This kind.” He held up the blueprints he’d borrowed from Jared and James. “A house. It’s really something.” He walked into the kitchen and laid them out on the table. “See the sunroom for your plants and the huge kitchen?”
“I hate to pop your enthusiasm, but I think we need a reality check here. What does a house have to do with making plans for this baby I’m carrying?”
He noticed she didn’t say our baby. She said this baby. “Nan. This is for the baby and us to live in. I can have it built by the time he’s born.”
“He or she,” Nan corrected, placing her hand over her abdomen. “It won’t work. You’re only doing this because I’m pregnant. I refuse to be an obligation.”
Jackson turned grabbed her shoulders. She had to understand. “It’s not just because of the baby. I picked these plans out before all of this. I saw them and knew you’d love them.”
Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head. “I don’t want a house with you. I don’t want to tie myself to a man I can’t count on to be there in a crisis. Have you forgiven yourself yet? Are you ready to make a commitment? And what happens the next time the past grabs you by the gut? Are you going to go off the deep end, or tell me to get lost?”
“No, I…” What could he say? How could he make her believe him? And did he even know himself the answers to her questions? “What if I said I don’t know but I’m willing to try?”
“I’d say let’s be friends and see. Only time will tell.”
“Friends, sugar? Now who needs a reality check?” He covered her mouth with his in a searing kiss. Her response was hesitant at first then the dam burst. He couldn’t touch her enough. He couldn’t love her enough and she couldn't get enough of him. He threaded his hands through her glorious hair, ran his lips and tongue over her silky skin, and kissed his way to the buttons of her shirt. Several buttons went flying in his haste to tear away all barriers between them.
"I need you like I need air to breathe, lady. You're under my skin, in my blood, in my mind, and sunk deep into my heart."
"Jackson," Nan sighed, shaking her head as if she didn't believe him.
"Believe me." He filled his hands with her breasts, loving the luscious warmth of her and the pebbled excitement of her nipples. "I love loving you, sugar.”
He cupped her, lifting her breasts to his lips, laving attention with his tongue. Her breath panted in his ear and she buried her hands in his hair, pulling him closer to her.
He suckled her, following each kiss on her nipple with languid caresses down her body, stripping away her clothes, bit by bit. Then he swung her up in his arms and carried her to the couch.
"No," she said gasping, and sat up to leave. "Not the couch. I won't have anywhere to sleep free of your memory when you go."
Jackson gently pushed her back and nudged her legs apart, looking down at her lush sex. Looking his fill, just as he'd imagined. Then he knelt in front of her. "I'm not going anywhere but right here, Nan." He slid her legs apart and pulled her bottom to the edge of the couch. Spreading the folds of her sex, he bent down and kissed her there as he kept his gaze locked with hers.
She moaned and her eyes grew misty with desire, but she didn't look away. She watched him love her. Her breath came faster, her back arched, begging him for more, and her gaze turned needy. He ran his hands up to her breasts and plucked at her nipples. She came apart for him, her body shuddering with her release.
Jackson zipped down his fly and buried himself deep inside her with no barriers between them. He felt the full effect of her smooth, hot, passage as her inner muscles stroked and squeezed him almost past the point of sanity. She lifted her hips, taking him deeper.
“Don’t move. You feel just too damn good and I want you to come again, this time with me. You make heaven such a smooth ride, sugar.”
Nan shook her head. “This isn’t going to solve anything, Jack.” But she didn't pull away from him. She pressed her hips closer.
“Lady, whatever it takes, we'll work it out.” He pushed deeper into her and started moving in a rhythm of sweet music that only they could make together. She met his every move, claiming more, and he stroked deeper until her sweet cry of heaven sent them both over the edge. It wasn't just sex between them. Never had been and never would be.
Jackson carried her to bed, wrapped her in his arms, and placed his palm over her abdomen. His child grew there and the wonder of it touched him deep inside of his healing soul.
"You have to believe me." He spoke close to her ear, brushing a kiss there between his words. "I love you. I loved you before my child began to grow inside of you."
Nan placed her hand over his. "I just don't know, Jack. I know I want and cherish this life inside of me. Beyond that, I just don't know."
He pulled her tighter, shut his eyes, and concentrated on breathing. One breath at a time. God, don't let it be too late. After a few minutes, Nan turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight.
Some of the pain inside him eased. "My father said something a couple of weeks ago that's sort of stuck in my mind. Said that life is mostly fixing things. Seeing what was wrong, what wasn't working and fixing it, one day at a time, one thing at a time. Ever since, I've been f
ixing a few things about myself and now I'm ready to fix a few things about us, sugar."
"I want to believe, Jack. I just don't know if I can."
He felt her tears fall against his neck. And he leaned up on his elbow to see her and kiss her. "Take your time, I'll be right here. Right here with you. But I've one question that has been bugging me. I know I've been out of touch with the medical field, but hell, I can't be this much in the dark. What is your gloxinia and what in the hell is botrytis?"
Laughter lit Nan's eyes. "It's terminal, I'm afraid."
Jackson narrowed his eyes. "Nan, this isn't funny. What's going on?"
She laughed harder, gasping as she spoke. "It's one of my plants…it has gray mold…I had to amputate five of its leaves this afternoon."
Jackson's jaw went slack. "A freaking plant! You had me wondering all afternoon about a plant?" There's a price to pay for that." He started tickling her until the tickling turned sensual. Then he kissed her, tenderly, loving her more with every passing moment. "Seriously." He caught her gaze with his, rubbing his hand over her stomach. "Everything is okay? You went to see a doctor, right?"
"Yeah. I'm going to have to make an appointment with Dr. Schwartz ASAP, though. I'm a little anemic and I'm going to have to pay special attention to my diet."
Jackson frowned. "You haven't had dinner yet have you?"
"No, but I'm not--"
"Up and at 'em," he said smacking her bottom.
"Jeez." Nan rolled over. "Where are we going?"
"Out for liver and onions."
"YUCK."
"You're going to love them. I promise."
"You're promising a lot these days."
"That I am." He leaned over and kissed her. "I most certainly am."
* * *
Nan’s alarm clock rang at five in the morning and she rolled over with a groan. God help her but she didn’t know what day it was and whether or not she had to work.
Smooth Irish (Book 2 of the Weldon Series) Page 21
