We’d almost reached the old highway when Garret pulled to the side of the road.
I lifted my head. “Why are we stopping?”
He pointed out the window.
As my gaze followed his finger, I inhaled sharply. Through pouring rain, I could barely make out Rawson’s truck parked in front of a bar across the street. A bar he’d promised never to patronize to get his dang kisses. The hope I’d clung to evaporated in steamy disappointment that left tears streaming down my cheeks.
Garret sighed. “I’m so sorry.”
My lips quivered as I realized that what Rawson and I had shared was all a sham. Mackay and Garret had been right. I meant nothing to him. Only, he’d just recently convinced me I meant everything to him. I guess I should’ve been grateful to discover the truth before I lost my heart completely. But as I wiped my eyes, I knew it was too late. He’d stolen most of my heart already. Only a hollowed-out, broken shell remained.
“You might not believe me, but I wish he’d deserved you.”
His words drew out more tears.
“But I’m not sorry your eyes are open now.”
I sniffed. “Can you just…t-take…me h-home?”
He pulled away from the curb. The drive stretched from sorrow to despair and back. By the time Garret pulled the truck around the circular driveway to let me out, tears had wrung me out and left me exhausted.
“Will you be all right?”
I turned to look at him. He seemed utterly sincere—worry, apology, and hope all wrapped together in his chiseled features. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” I shut my door and trudged up the porch stairs.
I’d dealt with a battered, shattered heart before. I would manage again.
Chapter 74
Rawson
Swerving over to the side of the road, I slid out of my seat and bent over to toss my cookies. A vice seemed to squeeze my temple as I dry-heaved. Nausea engulfed not only my stomach, but my heart. Over the last twelve hours, my actions had been pathetic. I knew right where they would lead. After six years of sobriety, I couldn’t allow a woman to throw me off course like this.
Scalding tears stung my cheeks as I wiped vomit from my lips. Damn her! How could she betray me like that? Not even finding Vanessa with my roommate last year had hurt this bad. I crawled into my truck and grabbed the cheap pay-by-call phone I’d picked up at a gas station. Slamming my door, I dialed Mom and waited.
“Hello?” she answered.
“It’s me.”
“Rawson? Where are you? Your dad—”
“I know. He’s probably on the warpath.” I kneaded my pounding head.
“What’s wrong?”
Her concern made me want to weep. The liquor I’d ingested had turned me into a sniveling fool. “I’m on my way to his office. Can you meet me there in five minutes to talk to him?”
“Of course.”
I ended the call and concentrated on getting home in one piece. The temptation to drive off the road and end my misery consumed me.
Mom waited for me outside the stable when I pulled up and parked. As she opened my door and took in my condition, her eyes glistened. Without a word, she opened her arms and I fell into them.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out.
She didn’t accuse or chastise. Dad would do plenty of that when he caught sight of my rumpled appearance and smelled me. Mom just held me, and right then, that was exactly what I needed.
Arm in arm, we tread up the stairs to the office. Mom must have warned him of my arrival, because Dad didn’t act surprised when we walked in together.
As he gazed into my bloodshot eyes, he erupted like Mount Vesuvius. “Where have you been?”
I hung my head. “With Damon.”
He banged his desk and swore, making pain explode in my cranium.
“Can we discuss this without profanity?” Mom’s chiding tone silenced him. She began to rub my back. “What did you need to talk to us about, son?”
I lifted my head and met Dad’s furious gaze. “Can I go back to the rehab you sent me to after the accident?”
He pursed his lips.
“I need to get out of here. Clear my head.”
“Rehab costs an exorbitant amount of money.”
“Honey,” Mom tipped my chin, “what happened?”
I clenched my hands and stood. Pacing in front of his desk, I said, “If you’re not willing to help, then I need to leave. I can’t stay here.”
“Sit down.”
I was too hammered to defy him. Sinking into the cushion next to Mom, I kneaded my head. My drinking binge had resurrected the past, and I knew I wasn’t strong enough to fight those memories. I perched on a slippery precipice, one more drink away from losing everything I’d fought so hard to regain.
Dad flipped through his contacts. “If I do this, you need to promise you won’t contact Damon ever again.”
I grimaced. “I can’t do that. He has no one else.”
“And look where he’s brought you. Is this what you want?”
Mom threw her arms around me. “I respect your loyalty, son. But this is about helping you…and sadly, your friend has never had your best interests at heart.”
“Fine. I won’t see him.” I’d say whatever they wanted to hear.
Mom held me as Dad called the center and scheduled me to be admitted. It was beyond humiliating. I’d sworn I would never fall this low again, but here I was, a pathetic, wasted loser.
When Dad hung up, he sighed. “They’ll have a spot for you next week. Will you be all right until then?”
I glanced at Mom.
“I’ll watch over him until he leaves.”
Tears filled my eyes as I met her sober gaze. “Don’t tell Benny.”
She brushed a lock of hair from my eyes. “We won’t say a word to anyone. If they ask, we’ll say you went away to that training school in Portugal.”
I squeezed my pounding head. Hangovers sucked. “I’m sorry again. I didn’t—”
“You’re our son, Rawson. We just want you whole and happy.”
I buried my head into her neck. There was no chance of that, but maybe the strict regimen of the detox center would bump me out of despair and keep me from returning to the hellish accident. More importantly, it would get me away from Liz.
After we discussed what story to set in place, Mom walked me to my bedroom.
“Pack a bag. I’m assuming you’re not wanting to see your brother or a certain lady, so we’ll drive over to Susa’s and see if we can switch places for a week while she cares for Addie.”
I shoved every clean shirt I owned and other necessities into a suitcase, and then drove several minutes down the road to our housekeeper’s abode.
“Perfect,” I said as I parked. The house was close enough that Mom could pop in and out to bring me food and check on me, but secluded enough to give me needed exile until I could escape.
Grabbing my luggage, I entered. Mom followed and pulled out a chair from the kitchen table. “Have a seat, son.”
Since I’d had a couple of mugs of coffee, I felt slightly better. I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. “You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”
“This is a great time for me to stay. The kids are in school, and I haven’t had a heart-to-heart with you in ages.”
“Like never. Guys don’t have heart-to-hearts.”
“Ah,” she teased, “they’re not so bad. Humor me.”
When I only glared at the floor, she fished in my murky waters.
“What happened between you and Liz? I know she’s involved.”
“We’re not together anymore.”
“Why?”
“Because I caught her cheating on me.”
“Did you confront her?”
“No, though that might’ve been better. Maybe then I wouldn’t have screwed up with Damon.”
She took my hand. “What did you do?”
“Drove to the bar and stared at my choices. I
won the battle there, but decided to stay the night with Damon. One thing led to another and we started drinking.” I ran a hand through my damp hair. “I can’t tell you how liberating it felt. No yelling Dad, no cheating girlfriend, no worry about him getting into trouble…no accident.” I gave her a sheepish look. “Felt like hell this morning though.”
No judgment clouded her gaze. She tousled my hair. “I bet you did.” Crossing the room, she opened the fridge. “Susa said there was bacon and eggs. I know it’s after noon, but do you want me to make breakfast?”
As my stomach growled, we both laughed.
“I guess that’s a yes.” She pulled out a frying pan.
Soon the smell of sizzling bacon permeated the air. Coffee too. My headache had dulled to a minor throb as I related to mom the incident at the dance with Liz and the ferret.
“From what you told me, Liz is unaware that you caught her kissing the other hand, correct?”
Just the memory of her on the dance floor with Garret made me want to binge drink all over again. “Yeah”
She poured eggs into another pan. “I’ve never known you to run from a challenge.”
“I didn’t. I ran from a disaster.”
“No, you ran to a disaster.”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about her.”
No more was said until she set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me.
“It might be nice to know Lizzie’s side of the story.”
With my mouth full, I threw her a glare.
“Don’t scowl at your mama. I brought you up better than that.”
“Can you just drop it?”
“You need closure.”
I growled as I took another mouthful of eggs.
“A wise man always listens to his mother. That’s all I’m saying.”
Chapter 75
Liz
Tonight marked three days since the nightmare that annihilated my heart. I stared at my phone and mourned what could have been. Rawson had been eerily silent since Friday. At first, I wanted him to call so I could tell him we were through. But as time passed without even an electronic word to soften his rejection, anger gave way to grief. I had hoped he thought enough of me to at least send teasing texts. He still had no clue I knew the truth. But obviously, he didn’t even feel that much for me.
Staring out my window, I chided myself for being a naive, silly girl. What had I expected? Did I really believe a guy like him could ever care for a nobody like me?
A knock on the door made me flinch. Hurrying to the mirror, I glanced at my frizzy curls and winced. Too late to fix them. Crossing to the door, I opened it and deflated when I saw Mrs. Law.
“Hi, Liz. I hope I’m not disturbing you. I wondered if we might talk.”
I gave her a weak smile and stepped aside. “Uh, sure.”
She smiled as she gazed around my room. “I haven’t been up here since I painted. I’d forgotten how charming it turned out.”
“It’s beautiful. Thanks for making me feel welcome.”
She pulled out a wicker chair from the desk. “I feel like you’re part of the family, especially since you’re dating my son.”
“Oh,” my tone and mood plummeted. “I…um…don’t think we are anymore.”
“Why ever not? You two are perfect for each other.”
I squeezed my hands. “You’d have to ask Rawson. My guess is he grew bored. He was supposed to meet me at a dance Friday but never showed.”
Her concerned expression brought tears to my eyes. Charity lived up to her name. “Maybe he got tied up helping Abe.”
“Maybe.”
“You don’t sound like you believe that.”
“I don’t know what to believe. Apparently, I’m clueless when it comes to guys. Your son isn’t talking to me. Garret’s talking too much. I should call it quits in the men department.”
She laughed—a pure, tinkling sound that I envied. Why couldn’t I laugh like her instead of a seal?
“Don’t throw in the towel yet, honey. You can’t be as bad as you make yourself sound.”
“Oh, yeah? The one man I wanted to come to the dance didn’t and the other guy I thought was my friend kissed me for the whole gym to see. And like the lame-o I am, I let him because I was so surprised I froze up like a popsicle.”
Charity groaned. “That’s awful. This is Garret you’re talking about?”
I nodded. “I don’t understand guys. When Garret offered to drive, I thought he was being kind. He knows Rawson and I are together, so I never considered he’d pull a fast one. But he did.” I looked up at her. “I feel so stupid. My brain literally froze. I couldn’t think until I ran off and hid in the bathroom.”
“Sounds like he used your emotions against you.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Well, at least he knows not to try that again. After the dance, I told him if he ever kissed me again, I’d smack him to the other end of the state.”
Charity laughed again. “I wish I could have witnessed that. You are indeed a gem.”
“At least someone thinks so.”
“My son thinks so.” She gave me a sweet smile. “Have you tried calling him?”
I frowned. “On the way home, I saw his truck at a bar. He did show up…just not to the dance like he promised. And since he hasn’t called or texted, I’m assuming he’s done with me.” I shrugged, trying to appear like I didn’t care.
“Oh, Liz.”
“I knew this would happen. I mean, your son is the most gorgeous man I know, and I’m just”—I waved my hands in front of me—“well, you can see.”
Charity’s eyes glistened. She really was a sweetheart. I wished my own mother could be as sensitive and kind. When she opened her arms for a hug, I walked into her embrace and savored the feeling of acceptance.
“You’re the most beautiful girl I know, inside and out. Don’t give up, my dear. Law men can be foolish—I should know since I’ve been married to one for twenty-five years—but their love can’t be matched. I dated many men before Bart, and thought I knew a thing or two about love. But after meeting him, I realized I’d only glossed the surface. Rawson’s like his dad. He’s dated numerous women, but you’re the first who’s captured his heart. And once a Law man loses his heart, they will live and breathe for only you.”
I didn’t believe her, but her words soothed me nonetheless. As I crawled into bed later, I made two vows. First, I would emulate Charity in thought and deed; and second, I would avoid men like the plague. They only brought chaos and heartache.
Chapter 76
Rawson
Dust swirled in the air as I threw my duffel into the back seat of Mom’s Tahoe. When she climbed into the driver’s seat, I raised a brow.
“Oh, get in.” She waved for me to go around to the other side. “I’m just driving to the house. I forgot my purse. Surely you can handle being a passenger for a minute.”
I didn’t move. “If you don’t have your purse, you don’t have your license. Scoot over.”
“Heavens. You’re acting like a Law man.”
I cracked a smile. “Punny.”
Mom slid over, and I climbed into the captain’s seat. I don’t know why she always messed with me. She never won the battle. No one had except Liz.
I winced as she hijacked my thoughts once again, as she had all week. Rehab would be a welcome relief.
“I’m really not a bad driver. You should let me show you sometime,” Mom teased.
“Maybe,” I murmured. Not.
Like my weird sensitivity to cloth, my driving fetish was ingrained in me. The loss of control I felt when others drove made me literally insane. As a child, I’d sat in the back and dug my nails into my arms until they bled whenever we took a trip to town. As I considered my mental flaws, I couldn’t help wondering why I’d never minded Lizzie driving. It hadn’t hit me until now that I’d made a huge jump into the realm of impossibility. That time I wedged my way into her and my siblings’ movie date, she’d asked me to
drive…and I turned her down. A first! Sure, I’d ragged on her driving and riled her to the point she got out and began hoofing it home, but when I apologized and she insisted on driving again, I acquiesced. Why?
“You going to sit there all day and daydream, big man?” Mom grinned at me from her seat.
“No, ma’am.” I turned the key and started the engine. “I’m ready to leave this stinkin’ dive behind.”
“I’m telling Susa you think her house stinks.”
A smile formed against my will. “You do that.” Mom was the master of teasing me out of sour moods. She’d had her work cut out for her this week as my disposition had been downright vile.
Pulling away from the Susa’s non-stinky abode, I drove down the lane. As we neared the ranch house, my muscles tensed. When the green roof of the stable appeared, my grip tightened on the wheel. Lifting my foot from the gas, I coasted to a stop.
“I don’t think—”
“Hop in the back and lay down so no one sees you. We’re almost there. You can handle ten seconds of me driving, right?”
The thought of running into Liz or Garret—let alone my little brother—made me willingly comply. As she switched spots and pulled back onto the road, I dug my nails into the soft skin of my wrist until I felt pain. Maybe after six weeks in detox, I’d be mentally stronger.
When Mom parked and got out, I relaxed. A few minutes passed before she returned.
“Hey.” She peeked at me over the seat. “Addie has a fever. I don’t dare leave her. I asked Liz if she would drive you to the airport since everyone else is busy. Don’t get up. You need to rest after what your dad put you through. Have fun in Portugal,” she called as she backed out of view. “Thanks, Liz. I owe you.”
I scrambled into a sitting position as Liz climbed into the driver’s seat. Just the sight of her packed a punch that sucked the air right out of me. Her soulful brown eyes met mine, long enough for me to notice they didn’t hold their usual sparkle. Clenching my jaw, I turned to see Mom blow a kiss from the porch.
Traitor.
“Hey,” Lizzie said as she caught my eye in the rear view mirror.
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