“Well, I just meant that I’m a commoner. I’m not royalty.”
“That doesn’t matter to me.”
“Well, it will matter to everyone else,” she said as she tried to step away from him. However, he held on, unwilling to let her go. “Why me?”
He pulled her closer to him. “I need you, Rebecca.” He sighed then shook his head. “I know this is a surprise to you. When I first began to have feelings for you, they were a surprise to me, too.”
He had feelings for her? “How long have you felt this way?”
“Long enough. I tried to fight these feelings, not because I thought you were unworthy but because I felt I was. However, I just can’t do it anymore. If you don’t want me, if you could never want me, then you don’t need to worry. Just tell me, and I’ll never bother you again.”
Rebecca couldn’t think, could barely breathe. God, was this real? Was this moment real? The Prince - no, Alexander - thought he was unworthy of her?
He continued. “Could you ever look at me like a man and not the future king? I would need that from you, Rebecca.”
“I just don’t know,” she said honestly. “I never thought to see you as anyone other than Prince Alexander.”
He nodded, his mouth in a faint frown. “If you do think, even for a moment, that you could want me, then I just want us to try. I know a relationship with royalty, particularly me, wouldn’t be easy. I know what I’m asking of you, what you’d be giving up just to have your name linked with mine, but I know you can handle it. You’re so strong, Rebecca,” he said as he brushed her hair away from her face in a tender move.
“I’m not sure what to say, sir.”
Alexander paused. “Perhaps it would be easier to think about it if we started by you saying my name.”
“Your name?”
“Alexander,” he said as he slowly began to guide her backwards against the wall. “Say it.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Hmm,” he said as she felt the wall behind her. He placed his hands on either side of her head so they were inches apart, but not touching. “Then perhaps we can start with this.”
She should have seen it coming. Should have known it would happen. His lips fluttered against hers while her own body stood unnaturally still. His eyes watched her reaction before he pressed more firmly against her lips.
Rebecca’s eyes shuttered closed and sensation took over. His lips were strong and firm against hers, and far too talented. She knew it was wrong to kiss him like this, to feel him like this, but for the moment she would just live the dream and let herself feel. His tongue slid against her mouth and she easily gave him entrance. His slow, seductive kisses made her feel boneless and as her knees weakened, his arms came around her.
“Say my name,” he gasped, but she shook her head unable to comply. “Say my name,” he said and kissed her again. She moaned softly when his lips met hers, impatient and insistent. God, the man could kiss.
“Say it,” he whispered when his mouth broke away from hers.
She had a hard time thinking of him as a prince when he held her close and took her breath away. So, imagining him as a man she could have, and not a prince she couldn’t, she said softly, “Alexander.”
He growled and pulled her close again. One hand fisted in her hair while the other roamed along her spine and down to cup her ass. She felt his arousal and, though she wanted him, her inexperienced hands and body tried to push him away.
“What do you want from me?” she almost pleaded, her mind hazy.
“I want you,” he said simply. “All of you.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want just sex,” she said as she tried to break free of his arms. He only held on tighter and narrowed his eyes.
“I did say that, and I meant it,” he said firmly. “It wouldn’t just be sex for me, Rebecca. Pardon my bluntness but if I only wanted sex, I could find a willing partner easily enough.”
The truth of his words settled within her. “Then why me?”
“You’ve been friends with Cat for a long time,” he said quietly and she stopped struggling momentarily. “You’re a generous, caring, intelligent woman, Rebecca, and you’re sexy as hell.”
“I’m sexy?” she asked and he smiled.
“God, yes. I’ve dreamed of you for a long time now. Not just in my bed, but standing beside me.”
“As your girlfriend?” she said and tried unsuccessfully to push herself away again as he nodded. “But, that doesn’t make sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.”
“It doesn’t. I’m a commoner. I’m not royal. I’m not even upper class,” she said, bringing up the argument he summarily dismissed earlier. “We can’t be a couple.”
“We can.”
“They won’t allow it,” she said as she struggled in his arms.
“Who won’t allow it?”
“Everyone. No one will want me,” she said. No man ever had.
“I want you. If you don’t want me, don’t think you could ever need me, then that’s something else. The way you’ve reacted to me tells me differently, however.”
“My father’s the gardener here. It’s not right. The press will vilify you.” And me, she added silently.
“Your father deserves more credit than that. He’s the Head Groundskeeper here, and that’s more than just a gardener. And don’t worry about the press, not yet. We can keep things silent for now, just between us, until we know each other better.”
“We can’t.”
“We can,” he said and cut off her next protest with a kiss. When she finally stopped struggling and started clinging to him instead, he pulled his lips gently away and began to pepper her face with kisses.
“Think about it, Rebecca. That’s all I ask. I know it’s a lot to take in. I know you probably never suspected it; I took great care to keep my feelings from you, from others. I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m sick of living half a life. I want you. I need you.”
He paused, holding her deliciously close to him. Could she do this? Could she be with him? She knew so little about men, and she knew too little about him to give up so much to be with him.
“We hardly know each other. If you link yourself to me, even for a short time, it will make it harder for you when you find the woman you want to marry.”
Alexander took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to scare you away, but I’m not going to lie to you, or say what I don’t mean and what I don’t feel. Not now, not ever.”
“Okay,” she said tentatively.
“Total honesty, Rebecca. I know there’s a lot of pressure on me to marry, and I’ve never talked about it. The truth is that I never found anyone whom I thought would be strong enough to handle both me and the country. That changed when I began to think of you and appreciate you for the woman you are, and not just the childhood friend of my sister.”
Rebecca barely considered herself a woman, except in age. Her innocent body and heart felt young and easily bruised. However, here was a man telling her, in the span of an hour, that he wanted her in his bed, as his girlfriend, and perhaps as his queen. “It’s too much.”
He nodded as he fingered her pin, the Vallerian crest set in gold and jewels. Alexander hugged her close, his mouth landing near her ear. “I could be an adequate king on my own, Rebecca, but I think I’ll be a better one with you as my queen.”
“I don’t know how to believe you, or if I should believe you.”
“I know,” he said as he dropped a kiss on her temple and pulled back. He lifted her chin so that her gaze met his. She saw truth in his eyes but felt disbelief in her heart.
“I’ll just have to try harder to convince you,” he said.
She dropped her head against his chest and his scent swirled around her. His words were everything that she had ever dreamt of hearing. However, it wasn’t just the man she would be committing to, it would be a life as future queen. Queen!
“I just don’t know. We know so l
ittle about each other. I just can’t think right now.”
“We’ll have time to learn each other, Rebecca. I’ll make sure we find some time together again soon. I know we have a lot more to talk about.”
“To say the least.”
Alex smiled softly and kissed her forehead. “For now, why don’t we have some dinner?”
“I’m supposed to eat after what you just said?”
Alexander brushed a finger down her cheek and over her mildly swollen lips. “Just a little. It is our first date, after all.”
Rebecca swallowed. Her first date with the prince. No, she corrected herself; her first date with Alexander. “All right.”
He led her back to the table. He pulled out her chair for her again, only this time he brushed the nape of her neck softly after she sat, before heading to his own chair. After they settled in, Rebecca took a deep breath before picking up her fork and hoped he did not notice the slight trembling in her hand. Never had a first date meant so much before.
“I probably should have asked this earlier,” he said with furrowed brows. “You’re not currently involved with anyone, are you?”
After a pause, Rebecca chuckled which slowly morphed into a full belly laugh. Her fork fell to her plate and she covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry,” she said after she calmed down. “I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s just this whole situation, well, it’s just so ridiculous.”
“Is it?” he asked softly. “You still didn’t answer my question.”
Rebecca shook her head as she picked up her silverware again. “There’s no one, Alex.”
“Progress,” he said with a broad smile.
“Progress?”
“You’ve started calling me ‘Alex’.”
Her hand flew to her mouth and mortification swept her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“I like it, Rebecca,” he said. “I like it very much.”
“Oh,” she said and turned back to her food. She was still turning his name around in her mind when he continued.
“How long ago was your last boyfriend?”
Rebecca’s forked paused in front of her open mouth. “Pardon?”
“Your last boyfriend, tell me about him.”
“No,” she said, and took her bite of food.
“No?” he asked. He didn’t seem upset, but Alexander was a much better politician than her, and more adept at hiding it if he was.
“First, tell me about your last girlfriend.”
“All right,” he said. Alexander seemed completely at ease with their conversation, whereas she was the exact opposite. She just had to keep reminding herself that he was here as a man not a prince, and then she felt more confident about things.
“I haven’t really had a girlfriend, not in the traditional sense. I’ve been out with women, been seen with women. I’ve slept with women, I won’t lie about that. However, none of them ever qualified as a girlfriend, despite what the press may have said.”
“I see,” she said as she shifted pasta around on her plate. “Why pursue me now? You said you’ve been well, interested, in me for a while.”
Alexander’s mouth curved into a small smile. “I’m not sure when I first began to see you in a different light. You were in high school, I think.”
“High school?” she asked incredulously as her fork fell with a clatter to the plate.
“Yes,” he said nonchalantly before taking a sip of wine. “There was a celebration ball of some sort. One of the school teams had won a championship, if I recall.”
“I remember,” Rebecca murmured as she remembered the day. She’d been so excited to go, and even more excited that someone had asked her out in the first place.
“Cat and I were on our way somewhere, I forget where, but she wanted to stop by and see you before we went.” Alexander paused, remembering the night himself. “It was spring, and the flowers around your house were so fragrant. Cat loved them, wanted to pick one of each bloom for her room.”
Rebecca smiled. “Papa would have loved it if she had. It would have given him great pride to know she enjoyed the flowers.”
He nodded, then continued. “I’ll remember that for next time. Anyway, your mother answered the door. She didn’t seem that surprised to see Cat, but she was surprised to see me.”
“Why did you come inside?” Rebecca asked. “You could have just stayed in the car.”
Alex shook his head. “It would have been rude not to. My father has great respect for yours, you know.”
“I do. His Royal Highness, King Gabriel, comes to visit, and the Princesses often came, but never you until that day. My mother was surprised but pleased to see you.”
“It changed my life. I didn’t realize how much until years later.” He paused, remembering. “You walked out and I swear my heart stopped,” he said, holding her gaze. Somehow, without realizing it, he’d also taken hold of her hand. “You were stunning. Your face flushed and happy, your curves draped in a dress of shimmery dark blue.”
“You remember what I was wearing?” she whispered, still holding his gaze.
“I remember everything. You were surprised to see me. I suppose you knew Cat was coming by, but I was a surprise.”
“It was one of Princess Catharine’s gowns that I was wearing. She had given it to me as a gift and had wanted to see how it fit. I, that is, we weren’t able to purchase a dress otherwise.”
Alexander smiled. “That sounds like Cat. I don’t remember that gown on her, but I’ll never forget the gown on you. I felt like a lecherous fool with the thoughts that began to run through my mind. I’d thought of other girls like that before, but never someone who had been almost like a sister to me. I wasn’t sure what to do about it, and then that idiot date of yours arrived.”
Rebecca’s lips curved in remembrance. “He was very surprised and very pleased to meet you both. He never thought any royalty would actually visit us.” Her date had also made her feel lower class all evening, telling everyone he couldn’t believe the royals would bother with ‘people like her’.
“He was an idiot.”
Rebecca laughed. “So I learned myself later that evening.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not important.”
“It’s important to me,” he said and fixed his unwavering gaze upon her again.
She shifted in her seat as she reached for the wine; perhaps a few sips would brighten the flush on her face. “Just some of his comments and actions.”
“What actions?” he asked deceptively soft.
She shrugged. “It was nothing.”
“If it had been nothing, you would have mentioned it already. Did he try something with you?”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” she said and took a long drink of wine.
“Yes, you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be so evasive.”
“It was nothing other teenage girls didn’t also deal with.” She sighed as she put down the glass. “I’m not comfortable discussing things like this with you. Less than an hour ago, you were someone else to me.”
“I wasn’t someone else. I was just someone who meant something else to you an hour ago. I’m very pleased, however, to know that I now mean something different to you,” he finished with a smug smile.
“There’s just no reasoning with you,” she said before taking a bite of food. She didn’t taste the delicate flavors of the sauce or the unique flavor of the homemade pasta; all she tasted was cardboard and her own fear of the conversation.
“Tell me what other teenage girls had to deal with. You can understand that Cat and my sisters never had such concerns.”
Rebecca chuckled. “As if they would tell you if they did.”
A storm flew through his eyes. “Are you telling me that men have tried things with my sisters?”
Oh, dear. “All I’m saying is that, under normal circumstances, a man will try anything to get a woman into bed. If that woman happens to be royalty, then they’l
l just be more discreet about it. I did not say that any men have been successful.”
“Were they unsuccessful with you or my sisters?”
“I can’t answer for your sisters.”
“Then answer for yourself.”
“My date that evening was unsuccessful.”
“Elaborate.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Why don’t you elaborate on your first date? Or the first time you were with a woman?” she asked, unable to use the word ‘sex’ around him. As it was, she was sure her face was bright red.
Alexander & Rebecca (Royals of Valleria #1) Page 6
