I nodded. Natalie and Beau each squeezed one of my hands as they rushed me down the hallway on the bed that just seconds ago I thought I was going to give birth to my baby in. They were saying something, but I couldn’t understand them.
The last thing I remembered was a mask going over my face to knock me out.
I blinked open my eyes. I could feel the vibration of the bus on the road underneath me. I hadn’t had that dream in a long time. Thank God I’d woken up before the rest of it. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood, automatically checking my phone. Nothing from Johnny.
Why did I care? It was just the way I wanted it. I’d had mind blowing, epic sex with a hot guy for a few weeks and then we’d both let it go and moved on. You know you’re full of shit.
Sighing, I opened the small door to the only bedroom on the bus and went into the miniscule bathroom. I could hear the soft snores of the guys in the bunks along the hallway. The light was on in the front part of the bus, and I could see Natalie on her laptop. The girl was always working.
I stood at the sink and lowered my shorts. My eyes immediately zeroed in on the tattoo I’d had done along my scar. Not so I couldn’t see it, but so I could remember it after the scar was gone. It was just a little line now, barely visible through the tattoo unless you looked closely. Running my fingers along the slim line, I allowed myself a rare moment to think about the what-ifs. What if he hadn’t died that day? What if they would’ve realized a little sooner that he wasn’t okay? What if I’d never been raped? What if I had a ten year old right now?
What if. What if. What if.
Familiar emotion filled me as I remembered Julia holding Calia. I’d gotten to hold Gibson Bryant for just a few minutes, but his body hadn’t been warm. I remembered the way his soft skin was just a little too cold; his lips too blue. His perfect face had been relaxed like he was sleeping, but I knew no amount of rousing would wake him. He was lost in an eternal slumber. It was all my fault. I killed him.
Just like my mother.
I killed everything that got close to me.
It was a good thing that Johnny hadn’t come with me. I didn’t need to taint his life with mine. It was obvious he had enough shit on his own. I was nothing but poison. It was a wonder that this band was still intact with me as its leader.
I flipped the light off and went back to my room. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon. We’d been on the road for a few hours now and I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping anymore. I took my guitar out of the small closet and began strumming softly, humming the words to Broken. I couldn’t believe I’d sung that for Johnny. I was a moron. When was I going to learn?
It was then that I saw a small piece of paper on the floor. I stood and picked it up.
STAY AWAY FROM HIM OR ELSE.
What the hell kind of message was that? I stared at the letters again. Who was it to? I flipped it over, but there was nothing on the other side. Strange. Natalie had rented this bus for our trip. We certainly weren’t successful enough to have our own yet. Anyone could’ve left that in the closet.
I crumpled it up and threw it in the corner of the small room and went back to strumming the guitar, my thoughts on a tall, dark, seriously fuckable man that I wanted more than I should.
I looked hot. I knew I did. Tight leather pants clung to every curve. A short tank top showed off my flat stomach and full breasts. My hair was curled and falling around my shoulders. My makeup had been professionally done and was about ten times heavier than I was used to wearing it. My lips were bright red, as red as the fuck-me heels I was wearing. We’d already had a photo shoot on the stage for promotional materials for the tour. It was completely surreal.
We were ready. Tonight was our first show in Atlanta to a sold out crowd. We were minutes from meeting Halestorm and going out to open up for them. You could cut the nervous tension with a knife in our room, but we were so excited we couldn’t stand it.
“I think I might throw up,” Tanner said, pacing back and forth. The rest of us chuckled, all of us feeling the same way.
“You guys have got this,” Natalie said. Her phone buzzed. “I’ll be right back. I’m taking you in to meet with Halestorm after this, so sit tight.”
The door shut behind her, and I turned to Beau. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“I know,” he said, his voice low. “Who would’ve thought when we met all those years ago that we’d be here tonight?”
I shook my head. “Never. I never would’ve thought I’d even get out of that house, much less fulfill one of my greatest dreams.”
“He’s looking out for you,” Beau said. He didn’t have to say who he was. He never brought him up because my wrath when he did was not worth it. But somehow he knew that I needed to hear that tonight.
I nodded, forcing the lump out of my throat. “Let’s kick some motherfucking ass tonight, Beau.”
He grinned. “You got that fucking right.”
“Got what fucking right?”
I turned immediately, shocked at the voice I heard at the doorway. It was him. Johnny stood in the doorway wearing a pair of jeans, a black shirt, and black boots. He flexed his arms as he stuck his hands in his back pockets, his eyes never leaving mine.
My mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. Everyone was stunned mute in the room. Natalie stepped out from behind Johnny and indicated for the guys to follow her out. They did so wordlessly, each of them eyeing Johnny with suspicion before looking back at me one more time.
“What are you doing here?” I crossed my arms in front of me, smirking when I saw his eyes zero in on my chest.
“You asked me to go on tour with you,” Johnny said. God, he was hot as fuck. All I wanted to do was hold onto his hair while he licked me inside and out, then ride him until I saw stars.
“You never answered me,” I said back, hearing the bitchy edge to my voice but not able to stop it. “I left two days ago.”
He stepped up to me, his scent invading every pore in my body. “And I’ve done nothing but jerk off to the visions of you on all fours, underneath me, sucking my cock or me eating your pussy since then.”
Shit. Why did he have to do that? He knew what that did to me. “So you came all the way here to fuck? You mean you can’t find another pussy as good as mine?”
Something I couldn’t decipher flitted through his eyes. “Is that what you want? For me to fuck someone else? Do you want to fuck someone else?”
Hell to the no I don’t want to fuck someone else, and I sure as shit don’t want you to. The thought hit me so hard my head spun with the realization. “No.”
“No what, Bex? You asked me to come here. I’m here. Do you want me to go? Are we playing games now?”
I didn’t want to play games. I was done playing games. “No, we aren’t playing games. I’m glad you’re here.”
He pulled me to him so fast I barely had time to register the movement before he crushed his lips to mine. I knew my lipstick was going to need to be reapplied, but I didn’t care. He’d probably proudly wear it on his face, too. Johnny came here. For me. For us.
Was there an us?
Did I want there to be an us?
He sucked my tongue into his mouth, taking what he wanted from me. His fingers undid my button and he slid two fingers into me despite the tight pants. I writhed against him, moaning into his mouth as his thumb stroked over my clit. I was soaking wet for him, just as always.
Snapping out of my frozen state, I slid my hand into his pants and stroked his hard shaft, feeling moisture at his tip as I caressed from top to bottom. His tongue continued to fuck my mouth, our tongues dueling with unbridled passion.
“God, I want to fuck you so hard,” Johnny said, “but you need to get out there. Natalie told me I had two minutes. Goddamn, Bex, you are hot as fuck. Tonight after the show, I’m going to give it to you and then some. You got it?” I nodded, unable to speak. His fingers were still working inside of me. I was so close and n
eeded that release so badly.
He smirked as he realized my body was close to the brink. “You want to come, Bex? Fuck yes, I’ll send you out on the stage flushed from the orgasm I gave you.” He pressed against my clit once more and sent me spiraling, my body shuddering at the sensation.
Johnny slid his fingers out of me, buttoned up my pants, and kissed me softly on the lips. “Get out there and fucking rock it, Bex. I can’t wait to watch you.”
Johnny
I stood next to Natalie off to the side of the stage, watching Jaded Regret doing their thing. The audience loved them. Large screens above our heads showed the front view that we couldn’t see from here. It was a packed, sold out arena that would no doubt shove the band into the spotlight in a big way.
Bex was in her fucking element. My dick twitched at the sight of those pants on her body, covering everything yet exposing it all. That, coupled with her hot-as-fuck voice and her playing the guitar while rocking on the stage, and I was horny as hell.
It had taken me two days to come to grips with what I wanted. Two days of questioning everything I’d ever known, done, and felt. Julia had been pushing me to go ever since I got up the morning Bex left. She’d apparently seen Bex and talked to her, which freaked me the hell out. Julia wouldn’t tell me what they’d talked about, only that I needed to really think about my life and what I wanted, Bex included.
I knew I wanted Bex as part of my life. Even still, being here was scaring me shitless. It was a declaration of something, but I wasn’t sure what. Did I want her? Yes. But did I want her, want her? I didn’t know. The thought of that made panic bubble up into my chest. Bex had asked me to come and I was here. The rest we’d have to figure out.
They were halfway through their set. Sweat glistened on Bex’s face under the bright lights. As she finished ‘Lock Me Up,’ the audience roared in appreciation. I had no doubt that this was just the beginning of some major things coming Jaded Regret’s way.
As always when I listened to her play, my fingers itched to touch the strings of the guitar. I thought of my Gibson that Bex had played, still sitting where she’d left it against the wall in my room. I’d stared at that for the last two days, willing myself to go pick it up. The image of Bex playing it naked while sitting on my bed would forever be burned into my mind. She’d shared something very private with me that night.
I wondered what it would be like to play with her.
“What’s going on?” Natalie’s voice broke through my inner thoughts. She’d been great ever since I called her earlier today and told her I was flying up to meet them. But I’d known it was only a matter of time before I got the inquisition.
“They’re doing awesome,” I deflected, watching Bex on the screen.
“Hmph,” Natalie responded. “Don’t bullshit me, Johnny. Why are you here?”
I sighed, turning to face the closest thing Bex had to a Julia. “She asked me to come.”
Natalie nodded. “Yeah. She asked you to. I still can’t believe that.”
Anger sparked low in my gut. “What does that mean?”
Natalie’s eyes lifted back to the screen. “She doesn’t do things like that.” I saw the pain in her eyes for Bex.
“I know she doesn’t,” I said, the anger dissipating. “I don’t, either.”
“She’s not to be fucked with,” Natalie said and then caught her meaning. She laughed, lightening the mood. “Well . . .”
I laughed, too. “Let’s not go there.”
She held up her hand. “Yes, let’s not. All I know is, this is her shot at the dream she’s had ever since she was a teenager. She . . . deserves this.” She indicated her on the stage. “I don’t want to see anything get in the way of what she deserves. I know you don’t know it all, but she’s had a hard life, Johnny.”
I read her loud and clear. “So have I, Natalie.”
“Are you capable of supporting her? I mean, really supporting her? Or just fucking her? Because I’ve never seen her act like this with anyone, and it scares the shit out of me.”
Well. Let’s not mince words. “Natalie . . .”
“Don’t answer me,” she said. “Think about what I said. You need to answer yourself, Johnny. I don’t know what’s going on with the two of you, but this is huge for Bex. If you’re not all the way in, please go now. Beau and I can help her through this, but if it goes on any longer, it won’t be enough.”
I snapped my mouth shut. What the fuck was I doing here? I had no business getting involved in something way over my head. And I thought Bex just might be so far over my head I was already drowning.
Sweat dripped down my temples, but I ignored it. I filled my hands with Bex’s full tits as I fucked her from behind, both of us watching each other in the mirror in the room. Her pussy tightened on my dick, and I knew it wasn’t going to be long for either of us. She snaked her arm down her body and touched her own clit, her fingers barely touching my dick as it pounded in and out of her.
No words had been exchanged as she’d unlocked the hotel room. After the show I’d fucked her in the back room just like I said I would, her leather pants pulled down to her ankles and her hair in my hands as I took what we both wanted.
I let go of her tits and gripped her hips, watching as they swayed with the movement of our bodies. “Fucking hell, Bex,” I grunted. She was still touching herself. I withdrew, making her groan in frustration. “Turn around.”
She turned and I lifted her quickly, placing her body on the edge of the dresser we were standing in front of. I lifted her leg and reentered her, both of us gasping as the sensation took us over. I could never tire of doing this. Dipping my head, I took a nipple into my mouth and bit down gently, then licked and sucked.
Bex gripped my hair, twining her other leg around my waist and pulling me closer into her. “Fucking hell, Johnny. Yes. Harder.”
I moved to the other breast, nipping and sucking. Bex threw her head back, expletives rolling off of her tongue as I reached between us and stroked her clit. We both came with a shout, me pushing into her over and over as we both rode the wave.
When I finally pulled out and looked her in the eyes, I saw what looked like tears shimmering in her eyes. “Bex? Are you okay?”
She hopped off the dresser and headed for the shower. “I’m fine. That was fucking hot as usual. You going to shower with me?”
I watched her for a moment, wondering if she was purposely avoiding telling me something. But I was a guy with a dick, so I turned my brain off and followed her into the shower.
My eyes flew open to the sensation of hands being wrapped around my neck. It was too dark. What the fuck was happening? Where was I?
I gasped, trying to remove the hands from around my neck but failing. I was strong, but was at a disadvantage here. Using my feet, I tried to make contact with whoever was holding me. A buzzing from far away clued me in to where I was. Prison. It was my first night here. I was in my cell with my cellmate, Buck. I was on the bottom bunk, the top already claimed by him.
He was an asshole.
He was choking me.
My life wasn’t worth anything, but I didn’t want to die in this shithole.
I lifted my arms and connected with something on his face. He grunted and loosened his grip slightly, giving me enough room to take a sharp breath.
“Ooh, you’re a fighter,” Buck snarled, his rank breath making my stomach turn. “Hot as fuck and a fighter. I’m going to like this. You know that’s why they gave you to me, right? You’re my present for being a good boy. Or a bad boy.” He pushed his hips into mine, and I felt it. He was hard. Fuck no. This was not happening.
Panic traveled down my body. I’d been through a lot of shitty things in my life. I’d been forced to do things I’d never wanted to do. But never, ever, had I been in a situation like this. I knew I was stronger than him, but I couldn’t get out from under him.
I had to get the attention of the guards. Middle of the night or not, they’d hear if ther
e was a commotion. Buck moved one of his hands down my chest and to the waistband of my prison issued pants.
“Don’t fucking touch me, you sick pervert.”
Buck grinned, yanking my pants down and taking my dick in his hands. It was flaccid, but that didn’t seem to bother him. His eyes left mine and zeroed in on my limp dick. “Fucking huge, just like I thought. That’s going to feel so good when you fuck me.”
Over my dead body. But I had to play the game to show him exactly what he was messing with. “Turn over,” I said. Even playing the game, I felt like I was going to throw up.
He grinned. “You better get that big dick hard for me, Johnny. I want to feel it all the way to my throat.” Buck turned over and dropped his pants. I looked away, my stomach churning. “Fuck it hard or next time you go to sleep, you’ll wake up with my dick in your mouth.”
It was the weak moment I needed.
I kneed him in the balls, making him grunt and fall over in pain. Leaning over him, I put my lips against his ear. “Don’t you fucking touch me with that thing ever again. I’m not fucking you, and you aren’t fucking me. Am I clear? I’m not your bitch.”
“I’ll kill you,” Buck spat. “You think I care about your threats? You’ll give me what I want or else. You think these guards in here are there to save you? They gave you to me to keep me busy. You’re just my type, and they knew it. My last cellmate was not nearly as pretty as you. Go ahead, Johnny. Go to the bars, and tell them big ol’ Buck is messing with you. See what they do. Actually, I’ll do it for you.”
Buck got up, his dick standing out in front of him. I turned my face. My heart was pounding in terror. I couldn’t allow this to happen. I’d kill him first. “Hey Charlie,” he called out, getting the attention of the guard down in the pen. Charlie looked up and nodded. “My new roomie doesn’t like my dick. Can you believe that?” Buck stroked himself, turning back to grin at me. When there was no response from the guard, I knew I was fucked. Literally.
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