by Jo Leigh
However, and it was a big however, the really impressive thing about the past two hours was that Ben had made her feel utterly, completely safe. She’d never been so unselfconscious with another human. Her sounds, her positions, her face. She’d given him her everything, warts and all. And loved every second of it.
The lovemaking wasn’t it. The lovemaking was a result of it. So?
“Good God, woman, what have you done to me?”
She grinned. He sounded worse than she did. “I was just minding my own business.”
“Like hell.” He rolled over, attempting to adjust the hopeless covers, then tossing them to the floor. “You’re so…”
“No. We’re so…”
He nodded then wiped some stray hairs off his forehead. “And I need water. I think I lost five pounds.”
“Honey, if it was that easy, I’d never leave the bedroom.”
He pulled her close to him, close enough to nip her shoulder. “It’s a deal.”
She shifted so she could look him in the eyes. “Ben, this is serious.”
“What do you mean? The condom didn’t break, did it?”
“No.”
“So why is it so serious?”
“Because I don’t understand it. Us. This.”
He stretched, kissed her gently on the lips. “Stop trying. Just let it be.”
“I’m trying. I mean— You know what I mean.”
“Listen, I have an idea about tomorrow. About Steve and Lisa. Let’s focus on them, okay? Give their situation our full attention. I bet while we’re doing that, things will straighten out completely for both of us. Deal?”
She smiled. “I think it’s brilliant.”
“I think you’re wonderful.”
“Hey, what’s with the hand?”
“Nobody said we can’t do this while we talk.”
She giggled, and tried to listen. She didn’t do a very good job.
16
THE RIDE UP the elevator had taken them over fifteen minutes. Not because the Stratosphere was a thousand feet in the sky, but because there were so many people trying to get to the top.
Taylor held on to Ben’s hand as they were guided to the line for Project XSky, the newest and scariest of the rides atop the downtown hotel. Along with the roller coaster and the Big Drop, Project XSky was crowded as hell, as more people than she’d thought possible wanted to have the stuffing scared out of them.
Steve had always been a huge fan of roller coasters and scary rides, having dragged her to amusement parks from the time they were kids, forcing her, upon the pain of being branded a “girl” to ride with him, despite the terror involved. Once he and Ben had hooked up, she’d been left alone to some degree, but still, whenever he had the opportunity, Steve would make her climb into one contraption or another. She’d never admit to him that she rather enjoyed the thrill. He got too big a kick out of her whining.
Today, though, Steve was just plain excited. Lisa was far less so. She’d been dubious when Ben had roused them early this morning. Of course, their destination had been a secret at that point.
When the cab took them to the Stratosphere, she’d put up a bit of a fight, but Steve had promised her she didn’t have to actually go on any rides if she didn’t want to. As far as Taylor could see, she was being a trouper, though. Which was interesting, considering Ben’s plan.
Of course Ben knew all about Steve’s penchant for dangerous thrills, and Taylor had agreed that it was a part of him that wouldn’t please Lisa. So they would take him to an environment where the kid in him could come out and play, and when Lisa objected, he’d have a clear and vivid picture of what he was about to sign on for.
Taylor wished it didn’t have to be this way, but dammit, Steve was her brother, and nothing was more important than his happiness. Yeah, he loved Lisa, but what was wrong with waiting awhile? Finding out what the pill business was all about? Giving them a chance to think this through?
“Oh, my God.”
They had reached the long line for the XSky, and Lisa had clearly realized what the ride was all about. The thing, and Taylor couldn’t figure out a better word to describe it, was like a big ramp off the side of the building. Eight people were strapped in, eight hundred sixty-six feet above the earth, for a ride that would take them twenty-seven feet over the edge. At the end, there was nothing between the rider and the very, very long drop. Except, of course, the seat belts and the contraption itself.
“It goes thirty miles an hour,” Ben said. “They use a magnetic braking system, and redundant ratcheting. The whole thing’s over in a few minutes, but man, what a rush.”
Lisa’s face paled a bit more. “No. It’s insanity. What if something goes wrong?”
“Nothing’ll go wrong,” Steve said, his hand squeezing her waist. “They test this thing until the cows come home.”
“It’s not the cows I’m worried about. I hate this.”
“It’s fun.” Steve turned her around so she faced him instead of the ride. “It’s all about the adrenaline. Being scared in a safe environment. You’ll never feel more alive, I swear.”
“I’m very happy with my current feelings, thank you. And besides, I have so much to do. I mean, we’re getting married tomorrow, remember?”
“What else is there to do? Your mom arranged all the flowers yesterday. We have the judge all set up. The clothes are bought.” He kissed her on the lips, held her shoulders with his broad hands. “Just hang a little while longer, okay? If you decide not to ride, that’s cool. But I don’t want you to leave.”
“I wasn’t planning on going by myself,” she said, her tone surprised.
He hadn’t expected that. “Oh. Well.” Steve cleared his throat, looked at Ben, then back at his bride-to-be. “All right. Sure. Let’s go.”
Lisa smiled, but as she watched Steve’s dejection her grin faded. “No, no. I was just kidding. We can stay.”
He lit up like a little kid. “You sure?”
She nodded, but Taylor could see this wasn’t turning out to be a good morning for Lisa.
“So you don’t care for thrill rides, Lisa?” she asked.
“God, no.”
“Oh, man,” Ben said. “Steve hasn’t told you about his dream, huh?”
“What dream?”
They moved another inch along the ride. Screams wafted through the air, along with the sound of metal on metal as the rides started and stopped. The atmosphere, aside from being Vegas hot, was filled with the spice that always accompanied danger, and Taylor couldn’t help but notice that the couples around her were all hanging on to each other.
She’d clung to Ben, wanting him close. The same should have been true for Lisa and Steve, but it wasn’t. Steve touched Lisa, but her body language was all wrong. Defensive, distant. She didn’t want to be here.
Taylor wanted Steve to see it, but she wondered if he could. Love was sometimes so blind. Even if she pointed out the differences between them, Steve would come up with rationales, reasons. Which wasn’t a bad thing in itself, but what did it say for the long-term?
In her heart of hearts she knew this marriage was a mistake. But what if it was an important mistake? What if it was all part of Steve’s journey toward the man he was supposed to become. They should just butt out.
Except…
She had to find out why Steve had taken those pills. And what they were for. That wasn’t negotiable. “Tell you what, Lisa. Why don’t you and I get out of line? I don’t want to go on the horrible thing, either. Let the boys have their fun. I want to hear more about your decorating business anyway.”
Lisa looked at her with genuine fondness. “That would be wonderful.” She turned to Steve. “Okay?”
He folded her in him arms, and hugged her close. Taylor’s resolve dropped another notch. God, who was she to try to fix anyone else’s life? She could barely manage her own.
Steve gave a jaunty wave as he turned back to the line and Ben. Taylor scoped out a place where she an
d Lisa could sit and wait it out. There was a small bench near the elevator, which was almost empty. A woman was nursing her baby there, but Taylor didn’t think that would be a problem.
Lisa sighed as she sat, checked that she could see the boys in line, then turned to Taylor. “So, you want to know about my decorating business, right?”
Taylor nodded. “I watch HGTV all the time, but I have no talent whatsoever. You should see my place. White walls, bland carpet, nothing truly original or fun. I have a few pieces I really like, that I found at flea markets. This great Vietnamese dragon carved from teak, and then there’s this glass sculpture that makes me so happy, it’s—”
“Taylor?”
“Yeah?”
“What did you really want to talk about?”
“Excuse me?”
Lisa scooted a bit closer. “I know you guys aren’t thrilled about me and Steve. That you think this marriage is a mistake.”
“No, no, not at all.” She could feel her cheeks heat and wished like hell she was a better liar.
“I don’t blame you. I came out of nowhere. I’m not part of the whole San Diego scene. We’ve only known each other for a few months. Should I go on?”
Taylor leaned her elbows on her knees. “Okay, so we’re…concerned. We love Steven, okay? All we want is what’s best for him.”
“And I appreciate that. The thing is, I love him, too.”
“Do you?”
“Taylor, this can’t ever work if you’re not going to believe me.”
She sat up, rubbed the back of her neck. Damn, it was hot. “You’re right. Again. In fact, I do believe you love him. What you know of him. And I believe he loves you. What I can’t seem to reconcile is this new life he’s leaping into. It’s—”
“The opposite of everything he’s ever said he’s wanted?”
Taylor nodded.
“I know. We’ve talked and talked about it. I don’t want him to be unhappy. In fact, I want him to be blissfully happy. And he says, over and over, that our life together is going to make him happy.”
“He’s always loved the boats, Lisa. He’s lived for those boats. What happened?”
“Aside from me?”
Again, Taylor’s cheeks heated. This wasn’t going as well as she could have hoped. On the other hand, there wasn’t a lot of bullshit happening here, and that was a really good thing.
“I admit, love is a pretty powerful thing. But to give up everything he’s ever loved?”
“If Ben asked you to give up your life to go with him, would you?”
Taylor burst out laughing. “Ben? Me? Are you kidding? We’re not—”
“Now who’s not telling the truth?”
“I admit, we’re having ourselves a time, but it’s not the same thing at all. Ben and I aren’t in love.”
Lisa nodded slowly. “Right.”
“What is this?”
“Nothing.”
“Hey.”
Lisa smiled enigmatically. “No, no. My fault. You two are just having a good vacation. Catching up on old times. It doesn’t mean a thing.”
“It doesn’t.”
Lisa laughed. “There are no guarantees Steve and I are going to make it. Maybe we’ll crash and burn, I don’t know. But at least we’re going to give it our all.” She turned and took Taylor’s hands in hers. “We talk. We do. Even though it’s not easy for Steve to come right out and speak his heart, he’s trying so hard. He wants a family, Taylor, and so do I. We want a secure, good life, something that has roots. He doesn’t want to give up the boats. But he wants more. He wants everything he had as a boy, only this time, he wants to be the husband and father.”
“I think that’s wonderful. I do. Isn’t there a way to have all that, and still not put Steve in a suit and tie?”
“You don’t think I suggested it?”
That caught Taylor completely by surprise. “You didn’t?”
“Of course. I wasn’t kidding when I said I want his happiness.”
“But—”
“What?”
“Why here? Why so fast? I figured you were hurrying into this so Steve wouldn’t have time to reconsider.”
“Maybe we are. Maybe neither of us want too much time. Diving into the deep end, you know.”
“Yeah. Kind of.”
“It’s not a bad way to go. As long as you know drowning’s not an option.”
Taylor sat staring at the line inching toward XSky. Ben and Steve weren’t in her line of sight any longer. In fact, they might already be on the giant fulcrum thingy. She shivered, half glad, half sorry she’d begged out.
“Go with us on this, Taylor. Please. You mean so much to him. He won’t say anything. He can’t. But he’s desperate for your approval. He needs your support.”
“I do support him. We all do.”
“You know what I think?” Lisa said. “I think Steve and I are going to be great. We’re going to grow old together, and play with our great-great-grandkids. And Steve’s gonna teach all of them to fish.”
“I think, with you, he’s got a fighting chance.”
“But?”
“Will you please tell me what the deal is with the pills? What’s wrong with Steve, and why is he being so secretive about it?”
Lisa didn’t answer. Another batch of thrill seekers got off the ride, and Taylor was pretty sure she heard Steve’s laugh. When she turned to tell her future sister-in-law that the boys were coming, she realized she’d managed to put her great big foot right in the middle of it.
Lisa’s face was pale as ivory. Her mouth had opened slightly, and her breathing was too rapid. She clearly didn’t know a thing about the pills, or why Steve was taking them. Not one thing.
BEN COULDN’T FIND his breath, let alone get it under control. And his guts were still somewhere over the edge of the Stratosphere. It felt like the top of his head had exploded, and the rest of his body had followed shortly thereafter.
“Holy shit,” Steve said, leaning against the building, his right hand over his heart. “You think the girls would kill us if we did it again?”
“No, but I might kill you if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on.”
Steve’s expression changed immediately. Gone was the breathless rush from the ride, replaced by the kind of anger Ben had rarely seen in his friend. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“If you don’t know, why are you so pissed off?”
“God damn Taylor. I told her it was nothing.” He tried to push off the wall, but Ben pushed him back.
“Stop it. Tell me the truth.”
“Get out of my face, Ben.”
“No. I’m your friend, damn you. What are the pills? What happened to you?”
“Nothing.”
“Steve, don’t make me beat the crap out of you.”
He continued to push Steve against the wall, using his forearm in a modified choke hold. He wouldn’t hurt him, but he wasn’t going anywhere. “You’ve got family here, big guy, who care whether you live or die. So tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing’s going on. I’m fine.”
“Bull.”
Steve stopped struggling. The air seemed to deflate from his body. “Don’t do this, man.”
“Why not? Why shouldn’t I get all over your ass? You’re scaring your sister. And I happen to care about your sister.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“How the hell do you know what I think?”
“All right. Let up. You’re choking me.”
Ben let go. Hating this. Wishing Steve would just tell him the truth so he wouldn’t have this knot in his gut.
“Listen, to me. I’m okay. But I can’t tell you.”
“What?”
The whole line of people behind them turned to stare. Ben smiled at them, then pulled Steve behind a post. “What?”
“I have to talk to Lisa first.”
“She doesn’t know?”
He shook his head. “No
one knows.”
“God dammit, Steve. Just tell me you’re not going to keel over at the ceremony, okay? That I don’t have to put 9-1-1 on speed dial.”
“It’s not like that. Trust me.”
“You’re not making it easy.”
“I know. But you gotta just chill. Don’t make this more than it is. I’ll talk to Lisa, I swear.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
Ben shook his head. “Not even close.”
“All right. Tonight.”
“Fine. Now let’s go find them. Tell them what a great ride it was.”
“Great, yeah.”
Ben punched his friend in the arm. “Hey, you love her, don’t you?”
“Lisa? Yeah.”
“I mean, really love her.”
Steve stopped. “What did you think? I’m not marrying her because of her comic book collection.”
“She has a comic book collection?”
Steve slugged him back.
“Ow. Okay, okay. So I’m being a jerk. But jeez, Steve, Kansas?”
“Kansas isn’t so bad.”
“Not if you’re corn.”
Steve stopped. “I’m not giving up the fleet, man. I’m just changing directions. I’m doing what I should do. What I want to do. And I want to do it with Lisa.”
Ben almost argued, but he didn’t. He looked at Steve’s face and he saw something he’d never seen before. Whether it was maturity, determination or just a commitment to his course, the man wasn’t kidding. “Hey.”
“What?”
Ben held out his hand. “Best friend. Best man. Beside you all the way.”
Steve took it. “I know you’re concerned, but don’t be. Just take care of yourself, okay?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Steve’s hand gripped his tighter. “I see what’s happening between you and Taylor.”
“And what’s that?”
Steve laughed. “Are you kidding?”
Ben pulled his hand back. “This isn’t funny, man.”
“Oh, I think it’s really funny. Talk about pots calling kettles.”
