by Candy Caine
“When did you decide that? I thought you loved it.”
“I changed my mind.”
“Did that Charles help you change your mind?”
“No. I decided to spread my wings. I went to Connecticut with a few friends and fell in love with the place. So I relocated.”
“That’s about the stupidest reason I’ve ever heard, child, and I’m not buying it for one moment.”
“Well, that’s exactly what I did and that’s all I have to say about it. I’ve got a new job and I’m having a great time.”
Jade heard a loud sigh. “Will we be seeing you soon?”
“Sure. I’ll be down to visit as soon as I can get away. I have to wait for some vacation time. You know, new job and everything…”
“Sure,” her mother said unconvincingly.
“Say hello to Dad for me. I gotta run. Love ya.”
“Take care and try not to forget our address.”
Jade closed her phone, breaking the connection. The pounding in her head was back. Dear God! Charles actually went looking for her. Why? She sure hoped he gave up trying to find her.
The fact that a white man came looking for her certainly didn’t thrill her parents, of that she was certain. Her mother probably ran him off. Jade had to admit, though, he had a lot of nerve to go see her mother in the first place.
Still feeling rotten, she crawled back into bed.
* * *
When she got up the following morning, Jade still felt wretched and made a solemn promise never to drink as much ever again. She had to force herself to shower, dress and go to work. As the morning wore on, the feeling of nausea went away. Kalisha asked how she was doing, but made no mention of the other night. Jade was glad the diner was busy, giving them little time to talk. She had enough on her mind and didn’t need any extra.
The very fact that Charles went to her parents’ place looking for her was puzzling. It didn’t fit into the scenario she’d imagined. And Jade hated loose ends.
The rest of her shift flew by and she went home. Exhausted, Jade fell into bed and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
* * *
The following morning she woke up feeling queasy again. Had she caught some kind of a bug? she wondered. Then she realized she’d felt the same way yesterday morning, but was fine later on…
Jade dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom. Sick to her stomach, she opened the cabinet under the sink. She saw the box of tampons still unopened. When was the last time she’d had her period? One month—two months ago? She slipped to the floor, covered her face and cried. She didn’t have a virus. She was pregnant. Now what the hell was she going to do?
Chapter 9
Somebody once told her that you can’t ever run from your troubles because they’ll always find you. She was going to give that a whole new meaning—only she just didn’t know it yet.
Today was her day off. How lucky was that? She’d have the entire day to fret uninterrupted over what she was going to do. There were several options. In Jade’s book, one was worse than the other. She hadn’t bothered to get out of bed until the morning sickness subsided and she almost felt human again.
Jade went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. It was a good thing she hardly had an appetite, because there was practically nothing to eat. Staring down into her coffee cup as if she’d find some wisdom there, she thought about her situation. She could go home to her parents. Being religious, they’d probably want her to have the baby. Unfortunately, this baby wouldn’t fit into their world. The father was white. Still…a baby was a baby, no matter what the race. And it still would be their grandchild… No. That would be a last resort.
She could get in touch with Charles and ask him for help. This, she decided, was absolutely out. She didn’t want him to know now or ever—not that he’d care.
Her religious upbringing aside, deep in her heart, Jade knew there was no way she’d ever abort the baby. She’d find a way to raise the child herself. Plenty of single women were having children every day. And if she was lucky, one day she’d meet a nice guy and they’d be a family. Yeah, sure. Everything’s gonna come up roses. Jade buried her face on her arm and cried—over her stupidity.
Later on, she went out to the supermarket and bought some nutritional food. She also picked up a pregnancy test to make certain. As she walked through the store, Jade took notice of all the babies and small children in carriages and strollers. She wondered how many of the women were single parents.
When she got back to the apartment, she took the pregnancy test and confirmed what she’d already suspected. Since she was new to the area, she didn’t have a gynecologist and thought Kalisha might know of one. That evening she knocked on Kalisha’s door.
“Jade. Girl, you look like crap,” she said, opening the door on the chain.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Sure,” she said, disengaging the chain.
“Am I interrupting your dinner or something?”
“Not really. Had a late lunch at the diner. What’s on your mind?”
They went into the kitchen.
“I was gonna have a beer. Want one?”
Jade shook her head. “It wouldn’t be good for the baby.”
“I could make some coffee.” Then she realized what Jade had said and blurted out, “What baby?”
“The one I’m having.”
“Shit, girl. Is it that lawyer’s from New York?”
Jade nodded and then began to sob. Kalisha came around and hugged Jade to her ample bosom. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay…”
After Jade’s sobbing subsided, Kalisha released her. Needing something to do with her hands, Jade said, “Yeah. Coffee would be nice.”
Kalisha made the coffee and when it was ready poured them each a cup. Then she grabbed a box of donuts, a container of milk and a few sugar packets.
“Is there anything you want before I sit down?” she asked.
Jade shook her head and took a sip of the steaming brew.
“You poor kid,” Kalisha said.
“Do you know a good gynecologist?”
“I got one. I guess she’s good.”
“Can I have her name and number?”
“Sure. Come to think of it, I need a checkup, as well. You certain you’re knocked up?”
“Took a home test today.”
“Gonna tell the lawyer he gonna be a daddy?”
Jade shook her head.
“What are you going to do then? Abort?”
“I’m going to have it,” Jade said.
“Here, or will you be going home to your parents?”
“I can’t tell my parents.”
“But you’re going to have to eventually. What do you intend to do, pop in when the kid’s three and introduce him to them?”
“No—I don’t know. They may not ever accept the baby.”
“Why? ’Cause you ain’t married?”
Jade shook her head. “Because Charles is white.”
“You’re assuming the kid will be white. It could be more like you. Then you wouldn’t have to tell them.”
“They know Charles is white. He came looking for me.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Wait a sec. Tell them it’s somebody else’s baby. Yeah, that’s it. You had too much to drink. Accidents happen.”
Kalisha had something there. However, lying to her mother would take Academy Award-winning acting. “It’s the best idea I heard all day and it just might work.”
“Really?” Kalisha said, grinning.
“But I won’t tell them until after the baby is born.”
“You’d have a handle on the kid’s color then. Hopefully you won’t have to lie as much.”
Jade nodded. “Especially because I don’t lie very well.”
“I knew you were too much of a wuss.”
“Thanks, Kalisha.”
“What for? I make terrible coffee.”
Jade gave out a short
chuckle. “I feel a helluva lot better than I have all day.”
“You know, there’s another option, Jade.”
“What?”
“Make up with Hank and get him to marry you.”
Jade rolled the napkin into a ball and threw it at her. Kalisha didn’t care. She was already laughing and Jade joined her.
* * *
Kalisha accompanied Jade to the gynecologist. Dr. Schein was a pleasant woman in her forties and Jade liked her immediately. When she told Jade she was starting her third month, it was hardly a surprise. She appreciated the fact that Dr. Schein didn’t preach or try to talk her out of having the child. Instead she was supportive and set up a schedule of visits.
On the way back to the apartment complex, both women were lost in thought. Finally, Kalisha broke the silence with an earth-shattering statement. “Jade, you’re having this baby for another reason.”
Jade turned around to face her. “What’s that, Kalisha?”
“You’re still in love with this guy, Charles, aren’t you?”
Jade felt as if she’d been slapped hard across her face. Tears quickly filled her eyes and she turned away.
“Jade?” Kalisha called softly.
Jade turned back. With a sob in her voice she said, “Yes.”
Kalisha gave out a sigh and said, “Thought so.”
“You know something, Kalisha?”
“What?”
“I doubt I’ll ever get over him.”
Kalisha pursed her lips.
Jade could just imagine what she was thinking.
Chapter 10
The months swept by quickly. The tiny life growing inside Jade was now her main reason for getting up in the morning. She’d become excited about being a mother. Of course she was still somewhat apprehensive knowing another person was going to depend on her for all the answers, but the child would always be the part of Charles that was hers alone.
The doctor had tried to persuade Jade not to stand on her feet too long, but Jade needed the money and pushed herself well into her ninth month. She’d found a nice lady in the complex who was willing to watch the baby so she could go back to work quickly. Jade never wanted her child to ever have to do without.
Conveniently she went into labor on Kalisha’s day off, and Preston Green came into the world at six-fifteen in the evening. His hair was the darkest of browns and his eyes were hazel-green. His skin was the color of café au lait, a shade lighter than Jade’s. There was no doubt about it, he was Charles’s son. After having counted his fingers and toes, Jade decided he was perfect in every way.
Her baby, her boy, her life. Jade kissed the tiny hand that flailed in the air. Nothing and no one would ever hurt her child.
* * *
Jade had kept in contact with her parents and went to see them a few times during the previous year. However, when she began to show, she stayed away. She’d given them her cell number and address in case they needed to reach her, knowing they wouldn’t show up at her door. Neither one of them was up to traveling anymore.
Honestly, she wanted to call and tell them they were grandparents, but she wasn’t ready for all the questions. And looking at Preston’s skin tone, she knew they’d never believe her if she told them the baby was some homeboy’s. Eventually she’d have to face them, but for the moment she was happy just to revel in the tiny miracle of life.
Kalisha and the other girls chipped in and got Jade a stroller, changing table and some clothes for the baby. The owners of the diner gave her $250. She’d been saving practically every cent she made, so she was far from destitute. Even so, she only took a few days off to recuperate before she returned to work.
She never realized how much she’d be missing her sleep. Preston was always hungry. If he continued to eat the way he did, he was going to be a linebacker and she was going to be a penniless zombie. If she sat down at work for a minute, she was out cold. Kalisha began to keep an eye out for her, making sure she didn’t fall asleep. The manager wouldn’t find her behavior funny and probably make her go home. Though Jade kept telling herself this would pass, she didn’t see an end to it.
At night when she fed Preston, she’d often think about Charles and wonder what he was doing. She would have to decide what she’d tell Preston about him. Luckily there was plenty of time for that. Whenever she doubted herself, she’d look at Preston’s beautiful face and smile.
* * *
Her own indulgence had been a digital camera. She snapped picture after picture of Preston and burned them to CDs. This way she could look back at her rapidly growing son and enjoy each stage over again and again. The months passed and her CDs became albums. Nearly a year old, Preston had grown into a chubby toddler and was already crawling. It wouldn’t be long before he was walking. Needless to say, he kept Mary, his sitter, on her toes. When he was out of his playpen, she couldn’t take her eyes off of him for a moment. A curious child, he got into everything. This was Jade’s happy world to which she ran home to every day. No matter how tired she was, one look at her child’s angelic face and she felt emotionally renewed.
Chapter 11
Monday morning Jade opened her eyes to find Preston standing in his crib watching her sleep. When he realized she was awake, he stretched out his arms and rapidly opened and closed his little hands, his way of telling her he wanted out.
She took him out of the crib and held him close. “My little man, you’re so wet. Let’s get you changed. Mary should be here soon.”
They’d gotten into a routine. Mary would come and take over with Preston and she’d go to work. Mary’s husband had died the year before and they hadn’t any children. Watching Jade’s little boy was like therapy for her.
“I should be home the usual time, Mary,” Jade called to her, opening the front door. When she turned back, Charles was standing there. As handsome as ever.
Jade’s heart dropped and her knees sagged. She quickly grabbed the doorjamb to steady herself. Her emotions, already a roller coaster of conflicting sensations and thoughts, had transformed her initial shock into anger.
“May I—”
She glared at him. “How did you find me?”
He tried to push by her. “If you let me come in, I’ll explain.”
“I have no time to talk to you—now or ever. Get out of my way.”
He didn’t move, throwing fuel onto her fire.
“I’ll be late for work.”
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” he said.
“I have nothing to say to you, Charles. Now let me go.”
Mary appeared behind her. “Shall I call the police?”
“No. Just go back to Preston, Mary. I’ll be fine.”
Mary hesitated a moment before returning to the kitchen. Jade tried to force her way past Charles, but he was too strong. She feared the longer she remained the less control she’d have over the tears filling her eyes. And the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him. He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to meet his gaze.
“You’re going to talk to me, Jade. I didn’t come all this way for nothing.”
“Well, then, that’s too bad, isn’t it,” she replied.
“I know about Preston.”
Jade felt suddenly weak and had to lean on the door again for support. Her entire body had stopped moving as if a sheet of ice had encapsulated her. Even the blood froze in her veins as her heartbeat skidded out of sync. She stood there staring at him. He answered her unspoken question.
“I saw him in the park with you yesterday. He’s beautiful. Can I see him?”
She stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind her. “I’ve got to go to work. Go back to New York and leave us alone, Charles,” she said with less conviction than she’d hoped.
“I’ll drive you to work. We can talk in the car.”
“I have nothing to say to you, Charles.”
“Then listen to what I have to say.”
She wanted to keep him away from P
reston, so she gave in and allowed him to drive her to the diner.
“How did you find me?”
“I had the investigator who works for the firm track you down.”
She cut right to the chase. “Couldn’t you have told me we were through? Did you have to flaunt my replacement in my face?”
Charles paled as if all his blood had suddenly been drained. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He was a good actor. She’d give him that. “The dark-haired woman I saw you with in Monte’s.”
Charles pulled to the side of the road and stopped the car. The look on his face was one of sheer agony. A moment later he was pounding the steering wheel with his fists. He uttered two words. “Fucking Bitch!”
Jade guessed he didn’t like to be found out. No one ever did. Why should he be any different?
Suddenly he turned to face her. She couldn’t miss the pain in his eyes. Could he fake that? He sighed, shaking his head, as if trying to compose his thoughts. “Dear God! Now it all makes sense. All this time trying to figure what I’d done…what caused you to run without a single word or a simple goodbye.”
“I certainly got yours,” she reminded him.
He shook his head. “That was staged.”
“Yeah. And, honey, it sure was convincing.”
“Not by me. Damn it! It was Caroline.”
“Caroline? That’s right, blame it on the wife—”
He grabbed her by her shoulders. “For Christ’s sake, Jade, shut up and listen to me—”
“Why? It was you I saw with that woman.”
He pursed his lips, shaking his head as he released her. Then he gave out a short derisive laugh. “That entire scene was staged by my charming wife. It was payback.”
“For us? You told me you had an agreement. That she didn’t care.”
