I Hate You, Love Me

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I Hate You, Love Me Page 13

by Jamie Knight


  I was absolutely aching for his cock. Seth scrambled to the nightstand to find a condom. As he searched, I moved down to suck his cock a little more. I wanted it nice and hard. Plus, I got to taste a little bit of his pre-cum.

  With nervous energy, he got the condom and tore it open with his teeth. Sliding it down on his member, he adjusted my position and then guided his cock inside me. It stretched me wide and I laid back to enjoy every inch. Then he began the glorious thrusting into my pussy. The pleasure was indescribable.

  “You like that, huh? You like my hard cock inside you?” he growled.

  “Oh, God. Yes. I love it inside me,” I squealed. “Oh, God. Sweet Jesus, yes.”

  I would’ve said or done anything at that moment to have his cock. I was absolutely in Seth’s power. His growling and grunting only served to get me off even more and the feeling was like a drug or something. I couldn’t get enough of it. Part of me wanted for him to just keep fucking me forever.

  He got his arms underneath my knees and pushed my legs up until my ankles were on either side of his head. This allowed Seth’s cock to touch me deeper than I had ever been touched. I instantly began moaning. I lost the ability to make a coherent sentence. I was just squealing and moaning in joy.

  “Ooooh. Oh, Seth. So deep. Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Fuck me so good,” I moaned.

  Seth was drilling me so good at this point. I opened my body completely to him. My will was no longer my own. Every fiber of my being relaxed and was ready to receive the amazing fucking I was getting. My entire body was turning into jelly as I just kept cumming and cumming, until I was just trembling underneath him as he fucked my sensitive, ravaged pussy.

  Finally, he came. I could feel the sweet warmness of his cum filling the condom and filling me with warm sensations. I came and panted. I was so relaxed, he was bending me in half and I barely noticed. The vibrations inside of me continued to flood both of us with a steady stream of pleasure for several minutes. Finally, he rolled off of me and my legs flopped back down on their own. I couldn’t move or speak, and I think I actually fell asleep for a few moments, I was so relaxed.

  As we lied there, breathing heavily, I couldn’t help but think that Lindsay was right. Why was I fighting this? This was fantastic. It was fantastic every single time. Why shouldn’t I just give in and enjoy it. I should just tell Seth that I want to be with him. Even if he only wants to use me for sex for a while, how bad would that be? I still have to live here. It’s not like I can afford to leave.

  Seth’s phone rang, and he reached for it.

  “One sec,” he muttered, getting up.

  He walked away from the bed, purposely keeping his voice down as he did so. He was hiding something from me. What was it? I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I waited patiently for him to finish the phone call. He hung up and cleared his throat.

  “Who was that?” I said suspiciously.

  “That was Dean Williams,” he said. He didn’t meet my eyes. “I won the internship. He’s going with my idea.”

  I felt like someone had knocked the breath out of me. While I knew I hadn’t done that great in the presentation, I really thought my idea was too good to pass up. I got a little mad and weepy. Seth tried to hold me, but I pushed him away. He had won, and I had lost.

  There was a knock at the door. Seth made a surprised face. We both quickly got dressed. Seth moved to answer the door. I pouted on the bed.

  It was Mia. Why was she here? I felt panicked. Seth had said he didn’t sleep with her, didn’t he? No, wait…he didn’t fully say that. I had assumed. I felt like had been punched in the gut, again. Tears started welling up in my eyes.

  “Hey Seth, I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out,” Mia said with a smile. She looked over at me and her face warmed. “Hey, girl. So sorry to intrude, you two are busy, so…”

  “He’s not busy,” I said bitterly, turning my face away from her. “He’s free to do what he wants. Go on, Seth.”

  “I should stay home,” Seth told Mia.

  “No. No, you shouldn’t,” I insisted. “Go out. Please. Get out of here. I want to be alone.”

  “But Tina,” began Seth.

  “Just go, Seth!” I insisted. I got up and marched into the kitchenette. I had to keep my back to them. I didn’t want them to see me cry.

  I wanted to say, and go be with your whore girlfriend. But I stopped myself from saying that part. Who was to blame? I didn’t know. Maybe Mia seduced him or maybe Seth can’t keep it in his pants. How dare he sleep with her and then me? I couldn’t even blame her. She had real adult problems and those weren’t just about getting out of your parents’ house. Next to me, Mia was definitely a better wife option.

  Seth finished getting dressed and rushed out the door with Mia. What a betrayal. Does he think I’m stupid? Does he not think I see through this ridiculous charade he’s trying to perpetrate? God, the bed isn’t even cold where we were just fucking.

  That was it. I couldn’t live in this apartment alone without the internship or without Seth. It was time to leave. I immediately started packing my things. I was angry. About halfway through packing, I kept thinking about the sex Seth and I just had. Now it disgusted me. I stopped and got into the shower.

  I was so upset, I couldn’t even cry. I guess I was more mad than upset. I was such an idiot to trust him or Mia. That’s what I get for inviting every drunk and burnout to my parties. I thought Mia just liked to go out and let loose every now and then, since she worked so hard at school and at being a mom. But I guess I was a bad judge of character after all. People of low moral character aren’t fit to be friends. They just go with the flow because it’s easier to find parties and sex partners that way. It has nothing to do with principle or who’s right.

  And Seth’s offer to bring my project in with his, what a joke. He probably knew I wasn’t going to win and just did that so he could soften me up and fuck me one last time. My brain was in full overdrive. Completely unasked for, my mind instantly flashed back to high school and the Sadie Hawkins Dance and him fucking some red head while I was about to pour my heart out to him. And now he was off with another red head.

  God. I’m such an idiot. He’s a world class manipulator and I didn’t see it.

  I got out of the shower, got dried, got dressed and continued to pack. Now I was focused. For the first time in weeks, I could see things clearly. Everything I had done up to this point had revolved around Seth, but no more. I wasn’t going to let my life be dictated by that selfish piece of human garbage.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Seth

  Mia and I got a quick cup of coffee, but I couldn’t stay out long. Mia kept apologizing and I kept telling her she didn’t do anything. Still, I knew Tina said she wanted to be alone, but I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t keep my mind off her and kept thinking about checking to make sure if she was okay. Mia understood, and I headed home.

  Going back to the apartment, I prepared to have a real talk with Tina. No matter what she did or said, I was going to sit her down and talk about our relationship. But when I got back to the apartment, she was gone. Some of the drawers were left open. It looked like she took her clothes and left.

  This was an interesting turn of events. Now, with the internship, I could afford the apartment alone. With Tina gone, I would have exactly what I had originally wanted, an apartment near campus that I could use to continue my studies. Plus, I could actually rearrange stuff the way I liked it. But the place felt cold now. It was empty without Tina.

  I didn’t know what to do. Maybe Tina was mad about not getting the internship but would come back by the evening.

  I waited for her to return. She didn’t.

  On day two, I texted her. I was worried. There was no telling where she had gone. I mean, it was possible something really bad happened to her. The way she stormed out of here, I don’t think she would hurt herself, would she? Nah, if she were going to do that, she wouldn’t have taken her clothes
with her. Maybe she just needed some time to cool off and was staying with one of her friends on campus.

  On the third day, I had to go to Dean Williams’ office for a meeting. I was actually pretty worried about Tina by now. She hadn’t responded to any of my texts. I mean, I at least expected a “fuck off” or something.

  When I arrived at the dean’s office, I was distracted. Williams was talking raw numbers about the color run, but I was tuned out.

  The dean tapped loudly on his desk. It got my attention and I turned from the window I was absentmindedly staring out of.

  “Seth, you seem somewhere else. Is there something wrong?” Dean Williams asked.

  I ran my hands through my hair and sat up straight. “I’m sorry, Dr. Williams. I don’t suppose there’s any way you could give the internship to Tina? She worked really hard on it and I feel kind of bad,” I said.

  “Well, that’s business,” he explained, looking at me from over his glasses. “Some people win, some lose. Tina’s idea wasn’t bad, but it relied heavily on the idea that the students would spend money. Most of Kensington State students don’t have extra money, as I’m sure you can well attest. Carnivals are usually held in suburban locations where the demographic has disposable income.”

  “I see,” I said.

  “Our students struggle financially, but your idea of going to the local businesses, that’s the kind of thinking that bring in the cash my boy,” he smiled. “It’s a win-win. They get advertising. The students spend what little money they have at the businesses, which they do anyway. Besides, it doesn’t matter now.”

  “What? Why doesn’t it?”

  “I figured you knew,” the dean said frowning slightly. “Tina dropped out of the College of Business two days ago. She came by the office and we talked. She agreed a business major wasn’t right for her. She’s decided to look into other majors.”

  “Well, did she say which ones? I mean, is she here, still on campus?” I asked.

  Dean Williams shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen her. I gave her some advice and she said she was going to consult with her counselor, but, it sounded to me like she wanted to take some time off from school. Sometimes the pressure gets to students who aren’t ready,” he said. He took off his glasses and chewed on the ear piece looking thoughtful.

  I rubbed my temples. I was so worried about Tina, I could hardly think straight. “Dean, I think Tina is missing. We’ve been sharing an apartment this semester and she didn’t come home,” I explained. “She hasn’t come home in three days.”

  He frowned and put his glasses back on. “Well, did you try and contact her?”

  “Yes, but we had a fight,” I said uneasily. “It’s a long story. She hasn’t responded.”

  He waved a hand. “Say no more, you don’t have to get into your personal life. I had no idea you two were an item. Do the kids still say that? An item?”

  “Not really,” I said with a shrug. “And, I don’t know if we were an item or not.”

  “You both were living together. As roommates?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Well…” I said and paused, not sure how to proceed.

  “Well did you have a relationship or not?”

  I put my head in my hands. “Yes, I think we did, but we just never confirmed

  that. I don’t know what to do,” I mumbled and then looked up at him. “I tried texting her and calling her, but she’s not answering. She made me leave with this other girl that I’m not dating, but I think Tina thinks I am dating Mia, but now I can’t tell her I’m not…”

  “All right, all right,” said the dean, waving a hand again. “I don’t want to hear all the gruesome details. Just find Tina, sit her down and talk it out. And for God’s sake, make up your mind, do you want to be with this girl or not?”

  “I don’t know if I can trust her,” I said. “My father trusted my mother and she left him when I was a kid.”

  “Oh, don’t be that way, son,” he said. “Your father may be embittered after a bad marriage, but don’t let that embitter you against all women. You have to take a chance in life. You’re young. Take a little responsibility on yourself. You might look back on this moment and regret it for the rest of your life.”

  I nodded and sat up straighter. The dean was right. “Well, let’s finish up this meeting and then I’ll go look for Tina,” I said.

  “Go,” said Dean Williams closing my portfolio. “Your head’s not in the game. Go straighten out your personal life today and then come back when you’re ready to talk business. The internship will still be here, but don’t take all week, we have lots of work to do.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I said standing and grabbing my backpack. “Tina didn’t happen to mention where she might go or where she might be, did she?”

  “No,” said the dean. “But I do know she’s not living on campus. And if she’s not living with you, I assume she’s back with her parents.”

  “Right, thanks,” I said rushing out.

  I walked back to the apartment. The only thing to do now was to go to Tina’s parents’ place and see if she was there. Maybe I could climb on the fire escape, climb down to her room and then look in her window. Hell, maybe she’s been on the fire escape pondering life and her problems just like we both used to.

  I packed up a few sets of clothing and walked back across campus to catch the town bus that ran by my parent’s apartment building. The bus came by quickly. It wasn’t very full, so I had a whole seat to myself. I settled in. It would take a while to get back to my old home.

  What would I say to Tina? First of all, I’ve got to tell her that I didn’t sleep with Mia. I don’t know if she’ll believe me, but it’s true. You can’t prove a negative, but at least I can state my case. Then I can offer to try and have a relationship with her. If she goes for it, we can go back to living in the basement apartment.

  I stared out the bus window watching the town pass by. My thoughts drifted to my father and my step-mother. After my mom left, my dad took it pretty hard. I think he searched and found the single most broken human being he could possibly find. Someone that didn’t have the strength to say “no” in any situation, much less ever get up the gumption to leave him. It was like buying a dog with broken legs, so it couldn’t get away. My step-mother was just so sad. She would just look away or get that hallow look in her eyes, but she never argued.

  But Tina argued. She challenged me. She actually went after what she wanted. But what she wanted was everything, now that she was free of all the restrictions her parents placed on her. Sometimes that want of hers terrified me, but it was also exciting. She was so alive, so passionate. I couldn’t let her go. I needed to find her and take the risk of being in a relationship.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Tina

  I went home. Where else could I go? I had no money, no job prospects and now I was a college drop out. There was no other option.

  My mother, of course, was elated. She had plans for me, that woman. She couldn’t wait for us to do things at the church together and she had already talked to other parishioners about their sons. I’d live at home, start dating an approved boy from the church and marry him as soon as possible. Why fight it?

  I was mad at Seth. He wanted to date Mia, and why not? She was a great girl. And she already had a kid. They would have a great little family life, those two. I hoped they were happy together, both of them business majors. Lots of success in their future. Me, I didn’t belong in that world. I was better here, my spirit broken, under my parents’ constant watch.

  Dad was disappointed I dropped out of business school. He thought I was a failure, but that was to be expected. He never really had confidence in me anyway.

  When I got home to my parent’s apartment, we had these quiet dinners where barely anyone talked. I just went along with things now.

  “Did you unpack all your clothes?” asked mother.

  “Yes,” I said quietly, absentmindedly pushing a piece of chicke
n around my dinner plate.

  “You should probably rewash anything you washed at college,” she suggested. “I don’t trust those campus laundry rooms. No telling whose clothes were in them or what were on those clothes. It’s like washing laundry in a stranger’s house.”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “I’ll rewash them.”

  “Have you given any thought to getting a job?” asked Dad. “I’m sure you can get a part time thing. Make a little money.”

  “I’m looking, Dad,” I said. “I’ve applied at Starbucks.”

  “Never liked that place,” he said with a frown. “I don’t want you working there.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  Normally I would’ve argued, but what was the point. He wasn’t going to let it go until I hated Starbucks as much as him.

  “I never liked Starbucks either,” I said with my new hollow voice.

  My mother seemed pleased. It was almost as if she was glad that my spirit was so broken. The hollow sound of my soulless self was music to her ears. Was she this broken? Was that what pleased her so much about it? Did she have to give up her hopes and dreams to get married to please her mother? Maybe. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything.

  Maybe I’d get lucky and get hit by a bus today.

  “You should try the drug store,” suggested Dad. “They sell makeup there. I’ll bet you can get a discount. Also, the beauty counter at a department store. They still have those, right?”

  “Not really,” I said.

  “Yeah, sure they do,” he said with his 80’s knowledge of malls and shopping. “You just go and fill out an application.”

  “They only accept them online now,” I informed him.

  His face started to turn red. “No, it’s better if you show up in person,” he insisted, woefully ignorant of current HR trends. “I’ll take you. You’ll see.”

  My father was totally clueless about job prospects these days. HR people hated when you showed up unannounced to try and get a job, but just try and tell him that. I’m sure we’d go to three different places before he’d have to admit he was wrong. And by then, he’d be so frustrated, ranting and raving about how The Devil changed it or whatever. Whoever’s fault it was, it wouldn’t be his—maybe mine or the rest of the world, or the times or the technology, but not him. Never him.

 

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