Lauren sniffed.
“And the truth is, I wasn’t a very good mother to you when you were growing up. I was so busy caring for your father . . . and then trying to please Eunice. Oh, I know I’ll never be able to make up for those days, but I always loved you, Lauren. You have to believe that.”
Lauren pulled a rumpled tissue out of her pocket and wiped her nose. “I do, Mom. And I know I was a pill growing up. And a spoiled brat.” She made a wobbly smile. “And I know I can still act pretty spoiled sometimes, but I am working on it.”
“Of course, you’re working on it, Lauren. And I’m so proud of you. And I’ve tried to convince Sarah of this very thing, but it’s like she’s stuck in the past. I think if you could just take this time off, give her a chance to move forward, I really believe she might start to come out of her shell.”
Lauren shook her head. “But a vacation? Where on earth would I go?”
Anna looked past the garden and toward the house. “Actually, you could just stay here if you wanted. Just take it easy and do as you please. All I ask is that you stay away from the inn.”
Lauren seemed to consider this idea. “I suppose I could plant some new flowerbeds. I’ve wanted to add to the cutting gardens. And I could catch up on some cleaning.”
“Or just relax and read some good books,” Anna suggested.
“Or catch up on my tan or get my hair done.” She made a sheepish smile. “Remember when I used to care about my appearance?”
“See you might even enjoy yourself. Maybe you could go to town and take in a movie. Who knows, you might meet even a man.” Anna chuckled.
Lauren grinned. “Now that I think about it, maybe I am due for a little vacation.”
“Good.” She felt a rush of relief. “And I’ll come over here to visit and we can talk on the phone. I promise to keep you posted as to Sarah’s progress. I really do think she’ll come around in time. But it’ll probably happen more quickly once you’re completely out of the picture.”
“But won’t you be shorthanded without me? Will you have to hire someone?”
“Maybe . . . or maybe Sarah will have to help out.”
Lauren looked unsure.
“Sarah used to be great help in the summers.” Anna thought back to how Sarah had been such a natural when it came to working at the inn. Anna had never actually trained her, not like she did with the other summertime staffers, and yet the young girl had seemed to know intuitively how to make herself useful. Noticing when soaps needed to be replaced or when a porch needed sweeping. And the guests had always loved the sweet-spirited girl.
“But she’s not the same, Mom.” Lauren pressed her lips tightly together, as if she wanted to say more, but was controlling herself.
“Maybe she has changed, but it can be very therapeutic to work. Waiting on others is good for the soul.”
She nodded. “Yes, I remember how you put me to work when I first came here. I resented it at first, but after a while, I learned to appreciate it. And now I really love the inn. In fact, I’m going to miss it a lot.”
“Who knows, you might get comfortable becoming a woman of leisure.”
She firmly shook her head. “Believe me, I’ve been down that road before, and I have no intention of going back again.”
“Good.” Anna patted her on the back. “But enjoy your time off just the same.”
“How long do you think I should stay away?”
“A couple of weeks should be enough.”
“It will feel strange not to be there. The inn is such a huge part of my life.” Lauren bent down to clip another long-stemmed iris. “But I can do it for Sarah.” She stood up straight, making what seemed a stiff smile. “And for you, too, Mom.”
“And if you decide you want to go and do something away from the river, I can have one of the girls come over here to tend things while you’re gone.”
“I think I’d rather stick around.”
Anna smiled up at the quaint house. “I can understand that.”
“And, if you don’t mind, maybe I can paint the kitchen.”
Anna knew that Lauren had never liked Babette’s shell pink kitchen. She’d always felt it was too old fashioned.
“But don’t worry. I’ll paint it pink again.”
Anna blinked. “Really? Pink?”
She grinned. “Sure, it’s kind of grown on me. But it really could use some freshening up. And I’ll take down the curtains and wash them and the throw rugs, too. The whole place could use a good scrubbing.”
Anna laughed. “Just don’t forget this is supposed to be a vacation, too.”
Lauren pointed at her mother. “How about you and Clark? When will you two ever take a vacation? As I recall, you haven’t gone anywhere since your honeymoon.”
Anna shrugged. Clark had said the same thing more than once.
“Maybe we should make a deal. I’ll take my vacation as long as you agree that you and Clark will do the same.” She stuck out her hand. “Deal?”
“Oh . . . I don’t know . . .” Anna couldn’t imagine leaving the inn. Nor could she see herself leaving Sarah anytime soon.
“Don’t you trust me? That I can take care of things? What if you went somewhere in winter? Like Hawaii or Mexico?”
“You know, Clark might actually like that . . . someday.” Anna grasped Lauren’s hand and shook it. “It’s a deal. I suppose everyone needs a vacation from time to time. But now, I should get back there. There’s a delivery coming this afternoon.”
“That’s right, and I won’t be there to receive it.” She nodded. “And I know Sarah doesn’t want anything to do with me, Mom, but please tell her that I love her . . . and that I’m praying for her.”
“I’ll do that.” Anna smiled. “Just give her time, Lauren. She’ll come around.”
“I sure hope so.”
On her way back down the river, she hoped that she wouldn’t regret this plan. Lauren had been helping with so many things that Anna knew she might be slightly lost without her. Maybe Lauren was right . . . maybe Anna would need to hire more workers now. Even so, Anna knew that if Lauren’s absence helped Sarah open up and heal, it would be worth it. Well worth it.
5
It took a couple of days before Sarah ventured out of the cabin, and then only at the urging of her grandmother. “We really need some help in the kitchen,” she told Sarah on Saturday morning. “We’re full up at the inn, and Diane has taken over some of Lauren’s responsibilities. As a result, Janelle is feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Would you mind lending a hand?”
“No, of course not.” Sarah quickly stood. “You should’ve told me before.”
“Well, I was trying to let you have some time to rest.”
“I’m used to working, Grandma.” She was slipping her feet into her sandals. “We were told if we didn’t work, we didn’t eat.”
Anna almost pointed out that Sarah couldn’t have been eating too well but stopped herself. “I know Janelle will appreciate it.” As they walked together to the main house, Anna reminded Sarah about the Flanders girls. “You’re right in between them as far as age. Diane is nearly twenty and starting her third year in college. Janelle is seventeen, with one more year left in high school.”
Sarah didn’t respond to this, and Anna suspected it was because she was thinking about her own situation. She had run away with two years left of high school. Even now, Anna was unsure of how Sarah would make this up . . . or if she even would. Still, she knew they couldn’t cross that bridge yet. It was enough that she’d enticed Sarah out of the cabin.
“Is this okay?” Sarah said suddenly, pausing to look down at her patchwork dress. “I washed it, but it’s kind of wrinkly.”
Anna smiled at her. “You look just fine, Sarah. Did you make that dress?” She remembered how she and Sarah used to put together odd pieces of ribbon and lace and muslin to create interesting garments.
“No, it was something Misty left behind. I was lucky to get it. Another girl
really wanted it.”
“Well, I was thinking we should get you some more clothes,” Anna said carefully. “Some that fit you better than my castoffs.”
“I don’t need anything,” Sarah said quickly. “Really, it’s wasteful to have too much.”
Anna decided not to respond this. Better to wait a bit. One step at a time. “Janelle,” she called out as they came into the house. “Do you remember my granddaughter, Sarah?”
Janelle smiled. “Yeah. I was always envious of you,” she told Sarah. “Getting to live at the inn all summer.”
Sarah smiled shyly. “Well, it’s been a while.”
Anna had already told Diane and Janelle a bit about Sarah’s situation. Not too specifically, but just enough information so that they could act natural around her and not question where she’d spent the past two years. “I’ll leave you and Diane to it then.” Anna plucked up a carrot wheel and popped it in her mouth. “I need to do some bookkeeping in my office. Call me if you need anything.” She had turned one of the bedrooms in the house into an office for the inn. Complete with an old rolltop desk that Clark had found in town, several file cabinets, and an easy chair, it was a comfortable place to work. But lately it had been Lauren who’d been keeping up the office work, and already Anna had gotten a little behind. But having an excuse to stay nearby while Sarah was acclimating herself to the house was handy.
However, as Anna worked, she considered the possibility of having Lauren take over the office work at Babette’s house. But at the same time, she didn’t want to infringe on Lauren’s downtime. Even if it was a forced vacation, it might do Lauren some good.
“There you are,” Clark said as he came into the office. Leaning over, he kissed the top of her head. “It’s nice to see Sarah helping in the kitchen.”
Anna looked hopefully at him. “Did she speak to you?”
“She did.” He nodded with a somber expression.
“Does she seem greatly changed to you?”
“Well . . . yes . . . of course she’s different. No doubt, she’s been through a lot. But I could see a trace of the old Sarah in there, too. I think she’s coming back.”
“I wish she’d open up to me, Clark. It would help her to talk about whatever it was that happened. I see her struggling with so many emotions. I know she’s been deeply hurt.”
“Give her time.”
“Oh, I am.” She licked a stamp and pressed it onto the corner of an envelope.
“If anyone can bring her back, it’s you, Anna.”
“And her family . . .” Anna looked out toward the shining water and sighed. “And the river . . . if she’ll just give us a chance.”
“She came back to us, didn’t she?”
She smiled up at Clark. His dark hair had turned steely gray, and the lines in his face were more pronounced than when they’d first met nearly twenty years ago, but his eyes were just as blue as ever. Not for the first time, she wondered what she’d do without him and didn’t want to think of it. She found it hard to believe that he was in his mid-sixties now . . . and that sixty wasn’t too far off for her either. When she was with Clark, she felt young somehow.
Suddenly she remembered the deal she’d made with Lauren and that she’d been so busy that she hadn’t even mentioned it to him yet. She quickly told him about the suggestion. “But it’s probably a silly idea,” she said finally. “Business seems to pick up a bit with each winter. I hate to lose that momentum.”
She wasn’t surprised that he thought a winter vacation was a great idea. “I’ll see if I can find us some brochures on Hawaii,” he promised. “I heard there’s a travel agent setting up a new business in town. Maybe I’ll give him a call next week.” He looked at his watch. “But it’s lunchtime now. May I escort you down to the dining room?”
With her arm linked in his, she let him lead her outside and down the stairs. It had been Clark’s idea to build a separate dining room a couple of years ago. Connected to the main house by a covered walkway, he’d also added a dumbwaiter elevator for getting things down from the upstairs kitchen where most of the cooking still took place. But the separate dining room was also equipped with a small kitchen that guests were allowed to use as well. All in all, it had been a good addition to the inn, and today the roomy space was bustling with guests.
Wearing Anna’s blue and white gingham apron, Sarah was helping Janelle and Diane serve the tables. “Look,” Anna whispered to Clark. “Sarah is smiling.”
He nodded. “She’s coming around.”
Anna felt a small wave of relief. It seemed that work really was a good form of therapy for Sarah. And the Flanders girls were probably wholesome influences as well. Responsible and hardworking like their parents, the two sisters were also very involved in their church. As Anna sat down at her usual table, she remembered a time when she’d almost resented Diane and Janelle. Having them around had made her miss Sarah even more—wishing that her granddaughter was working for her instead of the Flanders girls.
Oh, she’d known it was perfectly ridiculous, and she really did love and appreciate the two sisters, but she also knew that grief and loss affected one’s thinking. However, she reminded herself, her time of grieving was over. Their worst fears over Sarah had never materialized. She was home and safe. Now if only Sarah could return to her old self and spirit . . . life would be nearly perfect.
On Monday, Anna insisted on taking Sarah to town in order to shop for some clothes. “But I don’t want any clothes,” Sarah argued as they climbed into the boat.
“I understand,” Anna said as Clark eased the boat away from the dock. “But I really do need you to help me around the inn this summer. And that means you need some work clothes.”
Sarah sat in the back of the boat, folding her arms across her front and making the same expression she used to wear as a child, on those rare occasions when she didn’t get her way with Anna. It was almost amusing. However, Anna was curious what was behind Sarah’s strong resistance to getting new clothes. She could appreciate that Sarah loved her patchwork dress, since it had belonged to her friend Misty.
At the same time, Anna remembered back when Sarah had loved creating new clothes—and she’d been quite clever at it, too. Anna wondered what had squelched that enthusiasm. She decided to gently pursue an answer. She moved to the back of the boat, sitting down next to Sarah. “I was just thinking about that summer when we did tie-dye,” she began. “I think you were about ten. Do you remember how we started out by experimenting on Clark’s old T-shirts? Some of them looked pretty silly at first, but then we slowly improved our technique.”
“I used some of those old T-shirts as nightgowns when I was little,” Sarah added. “In fact, I even wore some of them in high school.”
Now Anna brought up some of the other projects she and Sarah had worked on together. “You were always so talented at designing clothes,” she said carefully. “Do you ever get the urge to sew anymore?”
Sarah just shrugged.
“You know, instead of only buying ready-made clothes, we could get some fabric and patterns if you like.”
Sarah’s eyes flickered with a glimmer of interest. “Is that secondhand shop still around?”
“I’m sure it is.”
“Do you think we could look there?”
“I don’t see why not.”
And so, after Clark dropped them off on the dock, they went directly to the secondhand shop and Sarah seemed almost like her old self as she meticulously went through the racks, examining one item after the next as if searching for treasure. She found a number of interesting pieces, and Anna didn’t question any of them. After that, they went to regular clothing store where Anna insisted on getting Sarah some blue jeans.
“I don’t know if I will wear those.” Sarah fingered the denim with a creased brow.
“Why not?”
Sarah frowned. “Women aren’t supposed to dress in men’s clothing.”
“What?” Anna studied Sarah closely,
wondering if she’d heard her correctly.
“It’s in the Bible or some other religious book,” Sarah said in a flat tone. “Women are not to wear men’s clothes. It’s wrong. Women are supposed to look like women, not men.”
Anna blinked. “But these jeans are made for women.” She showed her the tag. “And if you work in the garden or go fishing, you’ll probably want them.”
Sarah just shook her head.
“Well, I’m getting them anyway,” Anna told her. “Just in case.” She also picked up some T-shirts, although Sarah looked unenthused about them as well. Did she think they were sinful, too? Anna wondered if Sarah had been somewhat brainwashed at the commune. What sort of people were they?
“Maybe you’ll want to transform these pieces into something else too,” Anna said as they exited the store with their purchases. “But at least you’ll have something to wear to work in besides your patchwork dress.”
“Can we still go to the fabric store?” Sarah pointed across the street with what seemed a small spark of enthusiasm.
“Absolutely,” Anna gladly agreed. And for the next hour, they shopped for fabric and trims and ribbons. And it almost seemed that Sarah was enjoying herself. Finally it was time to meet Clark at the dock. He and Anna exchanged looks as they boarded the boat loaded with all their bags. “Looks like you girls had successful shopping,” he said as he helped stow their purchases.
“We really did,” Anna told him. “And Sarah’s going to work on some new creations.”
“Can’t wait to see that,” he said cheerfully.
Soon they were heading upriver, but Sarah seemed back in a sullen mood again. Anna made attempts at small talk, but Sarah was not responding. They were about halfway home when Sarah turned to Anna with a worried expression. “Do you think it’s evil to look pretty?”
“Evil?” Anna repeated. “To look pretty?”
“Isn’t vanity wicked?” Sarah tried again. “And wanting to be pretty is like vanity, right? So is it evil?”
Anna was trying to think of a response when she suddenly thought of her grandmother. “You remind me of my grandmother,” she told Sarah.
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