by Simon Cherry
“Claudius,” said the camel.
“So, Claudius, would it be too much trouble to stand up, like we’re asking?”
“That depends,” said Claudius. “On what you mean by too much.”
Hen laughed.
“What’s funny?” said Eddy.
“This,” said Hen. “When I got up this morning, I knew how things worked. Forces and actions and reactions. It all made sense. Nice and logical. And now we’re wondering what to do with a talking camel.”
“I bet it was the Genie who made you speak,” said Eddy.
“That’s right,” said Claudius. “The Emperor thought it would be amusing. We can all talk now. Isn’t that right, chaps?” he called to the other camels.
“When there’s something worth saying,” one called back.
And that was the end of that conversation.
“The Genie has been stolen,” said Eddy, “and we need you to help us to steal him back.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” said Claudius. “He’s a good fellow, that Genie. Stand clear, one is going for vertical.”
Moving with all the grace of a cow on an ice rink, he kneeled up halfway on his front legs, shoved his bottom into the air with his back legs, and then staggered and stumbled upright.
“How do we get on your back?” said Hen. She looked up at Claudius, who now towered above her. “Are there some steps somewhere?”
“You have to get on,” said Claudius, “before I get up. And if you are going to ask if it’s too much trouble for me to get back down again, don’t bother, because yes it is. You’ll just have walk for now.”
“Walk?” said Mitzee. “In these shoes?”
“At least you can carry these water bottles and bags of crackers,” said Eddy, as he and Hen attached them to straps on the camel’s harness.
“And my spare clothes,” said Mitzee, adding her two large bags. “In case I need to change outfits. What’s the dress code for stealing? Party frock? Business suit? High heels or sandals?”
The group headed out of the city towards the road to the north. They came to a small square, where people were sitting and grumbling about the lack of goodies while passing the time as usual. One woman was painting a portrait of a young girl. Two men were laying out a game of draughts. And with a clatter of castanets, a small band of musicians struck up a sprightly tune.
“Oh, dear,” said Claudius.
“Something wrong?” said Eddy. He noticed that the camel was starting to nod his head in time to the music.
“Oh, goodness,” said Claudius. The nodding got wilder.
“I advise you to keep back.” His legs started to twitch. “One simply has to DANCE!” he yelled.
His bottom rocked from side to side and he suddenly exploded into wild gyrations. He spun round and round, his feet kicking out at crazy angles. Paint pots, draughts, water bottles, chairs and tables flew through the air and clattered to the ground as Typhoon Claudius whirled out of control. Everyone dived frantically out of the way.
“Stop the band!” Claudius shouted as he twisted and twirled. “Stop the band!”
But no one needed to stop them. In the face of the flurry of flailing legs, they stopped themselves and ran for cover.
Claudius collapsed in a panting heap.
“Are you alright?” A grey-haired man who was wearing a tattered old smock lifted Eddy off the ground, and dusted him down.
“A few bruises,” said Eddy, catching his breath, “but nothing serious, thanks.”
“I do apologize,” the camel groaned. He staggered back to his feet. “I simply can’t help it. It’s those castanets. Once those little bits of wood start clicking they set my whole body shaking and I lose control.”
“So that’s why your ears were stuffed up,” said Eddy.
“And why your owner was happy to let you go,” said Hen.
“I got into a bit of bother when I made a mess of one of the Emperor’s parades,” said Claudius. “I’ve been in disgrace ever since.”
“There doesn’t seem to be any real harm done,” said Eddy, picking up one of the water bottles. Around the square, people were putting things back in order. “But has anyone seen the plan of Grimglower Castle that the Emperor gave me? It was tucked into my belt.”
They hunted round. But it was nowhere to be seen.
Eddy had a sudden thought that made his stomach turn over.
“That man who helped me up,” he said. “He must have taken it when he brushed the dust off me. We’ve got to get it back. We’ll never find our way through the castle without it.”
Eddy yelled across the square. “Did anyone see where the man with grey hair went?”
“That way!” a girl answered, pointing down a dim and narrow alley with high windowless walls on each side. Eddy and Hen set off after him. They turned a sharp corner and ran smack into a dead end.
“He can’t have come this way,” said Hen. “We haven’t passed anywhere that he could have turned off. That girl must have been mistaken.”
“Unless—” said Eddy.
“Don’t tell me,” said Hen. “Unless he suddenly became invisible or sprouted wings and flew away or some other unscientific thing that makes no sense at all.”
“No,” said Eddy. “Think about it. Why would anyone build an alley that doesn’t go anywhere?”
“Maybe it just got blocked off,” said Hen.
“Or maybe it just looks like it,” said Eddy. He ran his fingers over the wall, examining it closely. “There’s a metal plate here. It’s really grimy – looks like it hasn’t been cleaned for years.” He rubbed at the dirt with his sleeve. “There are letters underneath the grunge. Let’s see – it says:
‘Den of the Forty Thieves. Knock twice, then go away. We’re not interested. We didn’t take it. We weren’t even there.’”
“There’s a big crack in the wall between those two stones,” said Hen. “And look – it runs up in a line and across and down again to the ground over there. Just like a hidden door.”
“So that’s where our thief went,” said Eddy.
“I wonder how you open it,” said Hen.
“If this was like in stories, we’d just have to say Open Sesame!” said Eddy. There was a low, grumbling, grating noise. The wall in front of them began to shake, and then swung backwards.
They were surprised to find themselves staring at four men who were sitting on stools in a vast and almost empty space.
The four men appeared equally surprised to find themselves being stared at.
“How did you do that?” one of them said.
“I just said Open Sesame,” said Eddy.
“What did I tell you?” said the man. “Didn’t I say we should change that password? Didn’t I say it wasn’t secure enough?”
Eddy noticed one of the others, a grey-haired man, slip something into the sleeve of the smock he was wearing.
“I think you have something that belongs to me,” said Eddy.
“Don’t think so,” said the grey-haired man.
“What was that, then, that you just hid up your sleeve?”
“I didn’t hide anything.”
“Then show me,” said Eddy.
The man spread out his arms to show that he had nothing hidden up his sleeve. And the thing that he had hidden up his sleeve fell out onto the floor. It was a roll of paper, the same size and colour as the one that Eddy had been carrying.
“Call that nothing?” said Eddy, pointing at it.
“What, that?” said the man. “Oh, that – um…” He hesitated. And…
“…we got it off a bloke in a bazaar…”
“…it’s my shopping list…”
“…a cardboard telescope…” the other three chimed in at once.
“Alright,” said the grey-haired man. “It’s true. I took it from you in the square.”
He picked it up and handed it back to Eddy.
“I didn’t mean any harm. Just practice. Keeping the old fingers in
shape.”
“You’re thieves, then,” said Eddy. “Like it says on the door. But aren’t there supposed to be forty of you? And shouldn’t this place be full of your loot? Stacks of gold, pearls as big as conkers, diamonds as big as gulls’ eggs, and emeralds as big as very fat hamsters.”
“We’ve dwindled,” said the grey-haired man. “What’s the point of thieving, or keeping a stash of loot, when everyone can get anything they want for free any day of the week?”
“It’s just the four of us now,” said another. “Six, there,” he pointed to the grey-haired man, “Nineteen and Twenty-three over here,” he pointed to the other two, “and I’m Thirty-one.”
“It’s more of a social club than a gang now,” said Twenty-three. “A few games of dominoes, and a chat about the old days over a cup of tea. That’s what keeps us going.”
“The old skills are dying out,” said Six. “Which is why I’m determined to keep mine up, even if there aren’t any proper thieving jobs to be had any more.”
“How would you like a proper job?” said Eddy. “A really big one?”
“Proper?” said Nineteen. “You mean, like pinching something and not having to give it back afterwards?”
“This one’s definitely for keeps,” said Eddy. “We’re going to break into Grimglower Castle and get the Genie of the Baked Bean Tin back.”
“That is a proper job,” said Six. “And from the look of those plans of the castle, it’s a proper challenge and all. What do you say, lads? One last big job for us to go out on?”
“I’m in.”
“Me too.”
“And me.”
“Right,” said Six. “The old gang’s back in action. What’s left of us, anyway. I never thought I’d see the day. I’m going to get all emotional in a minute. When do we start?”
“Right now,” said Eddy.
It was hot.
Really hot.
Hot enough to cook your lunch by cracking an egg and frying it on the rocks at the side of the path.
Although soup would have been a bit of a challenge.
They had been walking for hours. All except Mitzee, who managed ten minutes and then started complaining that her feet hurt. She carried on complaining so loudly that it was soon decided that if she would just keep quiet, she could ride on Claudius. Everyone agreed. Even Claudius.
The journey had taken them through a dense wood and across lush green fields. But the further they went, the drier the land became, and now they were standing on a parched hill and looking down on a pale brown desert that stretched away to the horizon.
They stopped for a moment to take a mouthful of water.
“I guess,” said Eddy, “those must be the Whispering Sands.”
He heard a spluttering behind him, as Thirty-one choked on his drink.
“No one said anything about the Whispering Sands when we agreed to come on this trip,” said Thirty-one, still coughing. “Are you seriously suggesting that we try to cross them?”
“Is there a problem?” said Eddy.
“Are you bonkers?” said Twenty-three.
“If he isn’t now, he soon will be,” said Nineteen. “Do you know what happens out there?”
“No,” said Eddy. “What?”
“Well, I don’t know either,” said Nineteen. “On account of how anybody who has ever managed to get across is a gibbering, blibbering wreck by the time they get to the other side.”
“And they’re the lucky ones,” said Thirty-one. “Most people who try to cross are never seen again.”
“That’s just traveller’s tales,” said Six. “Wild stories.”
“Tell that to my brother,” said Nineteen. “By the time he got across he thought he was a piece of cheese. Used to sleep between two slices of bread. Then he started to go mouldy. The smell got so bad that we had to get him to live outside in a tent.”
“There’s no way I’m going into those sands,” said Twenty-three.
“Nor me,” said Thirty-one.
“What about the gang getting together again?” said Six. “We agreed to help these people.”
“We can still be together,” said Nineteen. “We three are going back. And if you’ve got any sense, you will too.”
“I’m stopping,” said Six.
“Then I hope we’ll see you again soon,” said Twenty-three. “Safe and sane.”
“Sorry,” said Thirty-one. “But…you know.” He shrugged his shoulders, picked up his bottle of water, and led Nineteen and Twenty-three back the way they had come.
The others stood silently for a moment, watching them go.
“Time to get moving,” said Eddy.
He led the way into the tall sand dunes that lay ahead of them. A breeze whirled round their ankles, blowing drifts of sand through the clear, bright air. It was stronger at the top of the dunes, where it whipped against their faces, and whistled in their ears.
“Do you think that noise is the whispering?” said Hen.
“If that’s all we have to put up with, it won’t be so bad,” said Eddy.
They tramped onwards, over dune after dune.
Whhhhhissssshhhhh
Ssssswwwwwissssshhhhhh
The wind whooshed around them.
Shhhhhould have turned back
Eddy could have sworn that he heard the words in his ear.
“Who said that?” said Six.
“Did you hear it, too?” said Hen.
Shhhhhould never have come
Ssssstill time to turn round
A chorus of voices slithered into Eddy’s ear, twining and winding their way right into his brain.
Ssssstill time to sssssave yourselves
“Do you think we should go back to the others?” said Six.
“No,” said Eddy. “We need to press on. Come on, up this next dune.”
Whhhhhy presssss on?
Whhhhhat’ssssss the point?
Whhhhhen you can’t sssssuccccceed?
“Of course we can succeed,” said Eddy. “We’ve got Six with us. He’s a proper thief.”
Sssssixxxxx?
Sssss…sssss…sssss
It sounded like they were laughing. Mocking.
Sssssixxxxx isssss uselesssss
Uselesssss and ollllld
“They’ve got a point,” said Six. “It’s years since I did any proper thieving.”
Whhhhat about the casssstle guardsssss?
With their shhhhharp ssssswordsssss?
“We haven’t thought about the guards and what happens when we get to the castle,” said Hen. “We haven’t really got a plan at all, have we?”
“We’ll work something out,” said Eddy. “Probably.”
The voices were picking at his doubts, speaking aloud all the worries that he was trying to keep in check. And his confidence was unravelling like an old scarf snagged on barbed wire.
“I don’t think we can do this,” said Six.
Ssssstupid to try
Sssssilly to go on
Sssssensssssible to ssssstop
“The Emperor should be sorting this out,” said Hen. “Not us.”
“Maybe we should go back,” said Eddy. “I haven’t really thought this through.”
Whhhhhichhhhh way is back?
Whhhhhichhhhh way?
Whhhhhichhhhh way?
“We can follow our footsteps,” said Eddy, turning to look behind him. But the wind had wiped them clean.
They were in the middle of a great ocean of sand. He couldn’t be sure any more which way they had come. Or, when he turned back round, which way they were going.
“We should have brought a compass,” he said.
No compasssss
Sssssilly
Shhhhhould have a compasssss
“I think it’s that way,” said Six, pointing to the left.
“No, no, it’s this way,” said Eddy, pointing to the right.
Lossssst
Lossssst
Walking in circlesssss
“Have we been walking round in circles?” said Hen.
“I don’t know,” said Eddy. “I don’t know anything any more. But we’ve got Claudius. Camels know how to find their way in a desert, don’t they?”
“Don’t ask me,” said Claudius. “I would have brought a compass.”
Circlesssss
Till they run out of water
And thhhhhen
The voices didn’t need to say any more. Everyone knew very well what would happen if they ran out of water while they were lost in the desert.
It’s all my fault, Eddy thought. From buying that head to breaking the lamp to getting us lost in this desert. All my stupid fault.
Sssss
Sssss
Sssss
The Whispering Sands hissed with laughter.
Round in circlesssssss
Lossssst
Never find the way
“Yeah, we will. No probs,” Mitzee said. She was sitting on the camel, on top of the next dune. “I can see a big castle up ahead in the distance.”
There’sssss nothing there
It’s jussssst an illusion
Jussssst a mirage
“I don’t even know what one of those is, alright?” said Mitzee, “but I do know…”
Oh, for goodnesssss’ sssssake
One of the whispering voices spoke alone. It sounded impatient.
A mirage is a displaced image of a distant object
“Excuse me,” said Mitzee. “I was talking and it’s very rude to interrupt. And I know what I can see.”
It’s not really there. It’s the hot air making the light refract
“What sort of a word is that?” said Mitzee. “Refract. I’ve never heard of it.”
That doesn’t surprise me
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Not very bright, are you? Just an airhead
“Airhead? That’s good, coming from something who is air all over.”
Sssss…sssss…sssss
