by Nella Tyler
I rose, troubled. I took my shower and got dressed, but didn't have much of an appetite. I fixed a pot of coffee, poured myself a cup, and then took it to the couch, where I sat while staring out the window, trying to remember everything Savannah and I had talked about. Even if I had said something to her, would she have turned around and told it to the staff at the casino? I didn't believe she would do that. After all, why would she? She knew as well as I that I could have been fired for keeping something like that to myself. Savannah and I had worked together for a long time. I trusted her implicitly. I sipped my coffee, shaking my head. No, she couldn't possibly have said something to one of the pit bosses or security, much less upper management.
However, I began to wonder how someone had found out that Ben might be cheating. If they had proof and believed one of the dealers, myself or Savannah, had been involved in any way, I was sure I would have been dragged upstairs to answer some hard questions. No one had even glanced at me. So what the hell? What was going on?
Ben had been banished from the casino, that much I knew. But if it weren’t for counting cards or the suspicion that he was, what would have caused him to be banned? Was he winning too much from the casino and they told him to move along to another? I knew that happened on occasion, but it was rare. After all, the point was to get people inside, not throw them outside.
The only trouble was Ben’s accusation from the evening before kept flying through my mind. Why in the world would he have accused me of saying something if rumors or accusations hadn't been discussed when security had taken him upstairs? I knew I should've asked him more. Still, his attitude yesterday, his comments, and my own annoyance had prevented me from talking further. Should I call him? Try to find out what had been discussed upstairs with the management? No, I couldn't do that. There was no way I was going to purposely cast suspicion on myself by trying to figure out a way to ask about what had happened with Ben yesterday. I had to maintain a professional distance. If management caught wind of the fact that Ben and I had a personal relationship, tenuous as it was, it could be grounds for dismissal.
I thought of calling Savannah, but how to bring it up? If I hadn't said anything to her about my suspicion that Ben was counting cards, how could I mention it and find out whether I had actually said anything about it? I didn't want to tip my hand, especially if she didn't know anything.
However, I did want to talk to her. Maybe just by talking, she might mention something about it. After all, gossip ran through the casino staff like wildfire. Everyone who worked there was bound to know by now that Ben had been requested upstairs. We all knew what that meant.
After I finished my third cup of coffee, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Savannah’s number. Even though I knew she should have been up at least an hour ago, she didn't answer. I didn't think anything of it and figured I would just try in a little while.
I tried to keep myself busy doing chores around the apartment: washing the dishes, dusting, vacuuming. About an hour or so later I tried Savannah’s cell phone again. Again no answer. I left her a text message and a voicemail. I lounged around on the couch for a while, watching TV without really paying attention to what I was watching. I was depressed, discouraged, and to be honest, wallowing in quite a pit of self-pity. By the time early afternoon rolled around and I hadn’t heard back from Savannah, I called her again, and then left her another text message. She still didn't answer.
What the heck was wrong? Had she been in an accident? I was her contact person, so that was doubtful. Did I forget she had a couple of days off? No. Had she hooked up with a guy? She would have texted me all the details if she had. No, I got the feeling that she was avoiding me.
I had no idea why, but then again, Savannah had her own life, her own problems, and her own issues to deal with. I figured I would just see her at work this evening. While I was kind of relieved to know that Ben wouldn't be playing at the casino anymore, I still found the thought depressing. I had gotten used to seeing him saunter into the casino every evening, and that smile of his had always lifted my spirits. From seeing him every night to the thought that he had been cast out of my life left me not only confused, but angry. If only he hadn't been trying to cheat. If only he hadn't asked me to cheat for him. If only… I could say that until the cows came home and it wouldn't change a thing.
Realizing I just had to give myself time and allow myself to get over him, I knew that I would eventually land on my own two feet again and be able to concentrate on what I needed to do for me. I had to quit worrying about what was going to happen to Ben. He hadn't seemed at all concerned about being requested upstairs. I knew that it was no laughing matter, but he had shrugged it off as if he had been called to the principal's office.
That bothered me. Did he think that just because he had money he could flaunt authority? Did he think that just because he was a billionaire he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it? I didn't like that kind of an attitude in anyone, let alone someone I had grown fond of.
A myriad of emotions ran through me, as I got ready for work. I was somewhat worried that the minute I clocked in, I would be called upstairs, too. Just because nothing had happened yesterday didn’t mean something couldn’t happen today. For several moments, I rued the day that Ben had come up to my table and claimed it as his. I rued the fact that I had allowed myself to be charmed, attracted to him, and yes, that I had begun to fall for him. I felt a great deal of affection for him, but right now that affection was coupled with an enormous sense of annoyance, anger, and even betrayal.
Every time I thought of him asking me to help him cheat, I could do nothing but shake my head in disbelief, discouragement, and disappointment. How could he? How could he possibly have the audacity, the balls, to ask someone such a question? Did he think I was so google-eyed at him or swayed by the fact that he had money?
I suppose I couldn't blame him for thinking that of many women he went out with, but I had made it clear that his money held no sway over me. Yes, I had enjoyed our time together. Yes, I had enjoyed going to nice restaurants. But to be honest, I had enjoyed downtime just as well.
By the time I got to work that evening, my head was throbbing. As I put my purse into my locker, I pulled the aspirin bottle from it and, clutching three aspirins in my hand, walked to the nearby water fountain and swallowed them. It was going to be a long night, no doubt about it. Just as I was turning to leave the break room where we clocked in and where my locker was located, in walked Savannah.
"Savannah!" I said. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day."
"Really? I guess my battery’s dead. I'll check it."
She walked right past me to her locker, her attitude rather cool. What the hell? "Savannah? What’s wrong?"
"I'm running late, Maggie, and if I don't get to my table on time tonight, I'm going to be in trouble."
This wasn't like her at all. I glanced at my watch, realized that she had plenty of time to get to her table. "Savannah, we need to talk." She glanced at me impatiently.
"I don't have time right now, Maggie, okay?" She quickly stuffed her purse and a lightweight sweater into her locker and then slammed it shut.
To my surprise, she began to walk out without even glancing back at me. What the hell? "When’s your break?" I asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know."
I frowned. Savannah always knew exactly when her breaks were scheduled because that’s when she stepped outside for a smoke. Something was definitely going on. I hurried and tried to catch up with her as she left the breakroom and hurried across the casino floor, weaving her way among the customers. I reached for her arm, not to grab her, but just to touch it and capture her attention. She spun on me so fast that I stopped. The expression on her face startled me.
"Seriously, Maggie, I've got a get to my table!"
She turned around and strode off. Unbidden, I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. What the hell? First Ben and now Savannah? I wanted to get to the bottom of th
is, but she was ignoring me. It appeared she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I slowly made my way to my table and began to work, forcing my thoughts away from anything that had to do with Ben, Savannah, or cheating. I was polite to my customers, paid attention to the deals, and basically minded my own business.
I tried once more to see what was going on with Savannah during my break. It did happen to coincide with mine. Moments earlier, I had seen her go outside with her cigarettes and a lighter.
I opened the back door and found her standing under the pool of the light attached to the side of the building. Smoke rose into the air. "Savannah, I need to talk to you-"
"I can't talk to you, Maggie," she hissed. She lifted her cigarette to her mouth and inhaled deeply. “If we talk about any of this right now, we’re both gone to get fired."
I felt my heart sink. Shit. Savannah knew something, although I had no idea what that something was. Had she been called up to the office? Did she suspect something of me? I didn't know and it bothered me immensely. Once again, I quickly returned to my table after my break and just focused on work. I expected one of the pit bosses to come up to me and say something at any moment. I expected a tap on my shoulder. I don't think my heart rate decelerated for the entire evening or the remainder of my shift.
It was extremely difficult to hold back the tears, to prevent myself from becoming overwhelmed by my emotions and my uncertainties. Damn Ben! As the evening wore on, I became increasingly frustrated with the situation, even though I didn't even know or fully understand what the situation involved. Was I in trouble? Had Ben been coerced to say something? Did the management suspect that I knew something about Ben’s card counting? It was impossible to know. It was that very uncertainty that pretty soon had my nerves so frayed that all I wanted to do was get out – to finish out my shift and get the heck out of Dodge.
I barely managed to hold onto my emotions for the remainder of my shift and heaved a sigh of relief when it was over. I knew Savannah would be finished soon, but I didn't bother waiting around for her. I knew she didn't want to talk to me right now – she had said that she couldn't. I knew the cameras were everywhere, so I didn't even want to risk it. I was still trying to decide whether Savannah had sounded more concerned than angry, but I wasn't quite sure. It could've been both.
Worry gnawed at my brain. What did she know about all this? Had management spoken to her? Had they questioned her about me? That was the problem. I didn't know and it was driving me crazy. Once again, I returned home, my emotions in turmoil. How long would this go on? I decided that tomorrow morning I would go to Savannah's apartment where we could talk in private. I needed to know what was going on, good or bad. I wanted to know whether I needed to start looking for another job.
I hadn't received any texts or phone calls from Ben, and I was torn between being pleased and feeling it was good riddance. Not even an apology? Not even an explanation other than he wanted the thrill he thought he could gain by cheating? What I needed was an explanation as to why he would even have considered asking me to do such a thing. Unbelievable!
By the time I got home, I was upset all over again. I took a long, hot shower, once again crying my eyes out. I had to get the stress out, had to achieve some sort of relief before I even tried to go to sleep. Nevertheless, I tossed and turned for several hours before I once again fell into a fitful sleep. I had nightmares of being carted out of the casino in handcuffs and thrown in jail, where I would spend the rest of my life.
*
The next morning, I was up just before dawn, not because I wanted to be, but because I was tired of not being able to sleep. I got up, turned the television on low, brewed a pot of coffee, and then sat on the couch moping and staring unseeing at the television screen for a couple of hours.
At some point, I dozed off because the next time I opened my eyes the sun was bright in the living room. I glanced at the clock and realized it was nearly ten o’clock. While I knew Savannah usually didn't get up until about eleven, I still had to take a shower, get dressed, and run a couple of errands. Maybe when I finished, I would run by her apartment and see if she would be willing to talk to me there.
It kind of miffed me that she had brushed me off last night, as if I was a pariah. Did she have to act that way? Did she have to be so rude? Couldn't she have just whispered something in the locker room, warning me that something was up, and then suggest that we get together today for a couple of coffee and talk about it? I began to wonder what the hell was going on and the thoughts and ideas I was coming up with were far from pleasant.
By the time I finished all my chores and run my errands, it was nearly eleven-thirty in the morning. I knew for a certainty that Savanna would be up, so I drove to her apartment complex. I saw her car in the parking lot. She lived upstairs, and from the courtyard where the swimming pool was situated, I saw that her living room curtains were open. She was up. I made my way up the cement steps from the courtyard up to the second floor, and then made my way toward her apartment. I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again, more loudly.
After several moments, I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. I saw a shadow over the peephole. I knew she was home, looking at me. I smiled, trying to act like nothing was the matter. Was that a sigh I had heard coming from the other side of the door? Finally, I heard the deadbolt unlatch, the doorknob turn, and then she opened the door a couple of inches.
"Let me in, Savannah. We have to talk."
She peered over my shoulder, to make sure that no one was with me. I frowned and began to grow alarmed. "Savannah, what the hell is going on?" To my surprise, she grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me into the apartment and then closed the door.
She stared at me a moment, and then sighed, gesturing that I sit on the sofa. I did.
Want a cup of coffee?" she asked, almost reluctantly.
"No, I don't. I want to know what the hell is going on." She said nothing, but stood there, deciding whether she would say anything. Finally, she shrugged. I decided to just come out with the question I needed answered. It might explain everything. "Savannah, I can't quite remember, but did I give you any indication that I believed that Ben was counting cards?"
Reluctantly, she nodded.
"Did you tell someone at the casino about my suspicions?" To my horrified surprise, she nodded again. "Oh my God, Savannah-"
"I didn't tell them that you suspected it, but that I suspected it," she interrupted.
I opened my eyes wide, my heart pumping, and my mind in a dither. "But why?” I gasped. “Why would you do such a thing? That was a private conversation, not meant for anyone but the two of us!" Savannah began to pace the small living room in front of me.
"I admit I told one of the pit bosses about a suspicion that Ben was counting cards, but I only did it to help you."
"To help me?" I gasped again. I was stunned. "How the hell does that help me? What are you talking about?"
She sighed and quit pacing. “After you told me that Ben asked you to help him cheat, I tried to figure out a way that we could make him go away. All I did was try to make it so that you didn't have to see Ben anymore."
"But you didn't have to say anything of the sort!" I exclaimed. "You and I both know what happens to people who are accused of cheating-"
"And I was trying to get you out of a situation where his presence might make you do just that!"
I shook my head, shocked that she would think such a thing of me. "I already told you that I had no intention of helping him! Why do you think I told him to take back all that stuff he bought me? I-"
"I knew you never would, but I also knew how difficult and awkward Ben was making it for you. I know you like the guy. You don't have to say anything. I can see it in your eyes!"
I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "Oh my God, Savannah, do you know what you've done? I could've worked everything out by myself, without the entire casino management knowing Ben was cheating. I only thought he was… I had
no proof! You do know that he was banned from the casino, don't you?"
Savannah frowned. "Well, of course I do, Maggie. That was the whole point, wasn't it?"
I sighed and shook my head. "I can't believe this. It's gone from bad to worse!"
"You don't have to be so ungrateful about it," she complained. "After all, I was only trying to help you. Do you realize that I put myself under suspicion just talking about it?"
I frowned, shaking my head again. "He's been at my Blackjack table for the past month or so," I exclaimed. "Do you know that now I’ll be under scrutiny, as well? I'm surprised I haven't been dragged upstairs to answer a bunch of questions!"
"But you don't have anything to worry about, Maggie," she protested. "We all know that you are trustworthy-"
"You know I could very easily have helped Ben cheat, if I had wanted to. You also know that I just wouldn't do that, not ever!" I rose from the sofa, infuriated. "I didn't tell you that stuff so that you could go and blab it to management, Savannah! I was just telling you to get it out, to have someone to talk to.” I felt the emotion choking me. A hard lump formed in my throat and tears filled my eyes. “I can't believe you told someone-"
"I told you why I did it, Maggie!" Savannah shot back. "I thought you'd be grateful, not mad."
I sighed. "Oh my God, this is awful. I never intended for any of this to happen.” I heaved a shaky sigh. “Like I said, I can handle Ben and I did. I told him under no circumstances would I ever, ever help him cheat. He knows that, and as far as I was concerned, the topic was closed."
"But you are still seeing him, aren’t you? After all, he's so rich and handsome-"
I waved a hand in dismay. "I don't give a shit about how rich he is or how handsome he is…” I said. "I told him I wasn't going to help him cheat and there was nothing he could say or do that was going to get me to change my mind.” I stared at my friend in disappointment. “I thought you knew me better than that."
Savannah gestured, her hands out to her sides. "I was only trying to help, Maggie-"
