by Rebel Adams
Brandon
Being near her drives me fucking insane. If I hadn’t left when I did, I would have been fucking her on that bench. Plus she has made it perfectly clear she needs time and space and doesn’t want to rush into anything, so that is just what I’ll do. As much as I wanted to call her every day, I waited two weeks before I called her. I take long deep breaths as the phone rings. My nerves are getting the better of me. It picks up on voicemail on the third ring. She’s sent me to voicemail. Maybe she’s pissed I waited so long to call her. But she could have called or texted me as well. The message I leave her is brief and asks her to call me whenever she is free. Shit, do I sound desperate? I don’t want to come off sounding desperate. I know she wants me by the way her body responds to me when I touch her. Both times I’ve kissed her, she’s leaned into me like she belongs to me. I dream of the day that I can take her to a world that she has never known. And from that moment on, she will belong to me and only me. A small knock on the door makes me jump. I have to cover myself because my thoughts of Are’ have given me a full hard on.
“Just a minute.” Think of something gross. The thought of someone else being with her, not only brings me down, but gives me full rage.
“Come in.” Standing in my doorway is my baby sister. “What’s up, girl?”
“Nothing, Mom is getting on my nerves. She won’t let me go to this party. It’s the party of the year and everyone is going to be there except me,” she says, flopping down on the bed next to me.
“Well, maybe she’s right. Is it going to be supervised?”
“You sound just like her. What happen to you, Bran? You used to be so cool.” The words sting a bit but I listen as she continues. “You do nothing but mope around here most days. You’ve changed. You used to be so fun and exciting. I wanted you home so badly, so I could have my brother here, but I got a corpse instead.”
“Really, Dot? That’s a bit harsh. If you knew what I’ve been through, then you wouldn’t be saying that. Listen, I’ll talk to Mom and see what I can do. But know she’s only trying to protect you. She loves you and always wants the best for the both of us. I know I’m being a bit heavy, but damn, Dot, life is short and you’ll regret how you’ve treated her once she is gone. Life is not promised to us and we can go at any moment.”
“I know that, but she lives to ruin my life. But whatever,” she sighs dramatically. “You were always her favorite, so you have no idea what I’m talking about.” Damn, my sister’s gotten really moody. I can’t say I was sorry to miss out on her teenage years so far if this is what it’s been like.
“She’s not out to ruin your life. Like I said, I’ll talk to her and see if she’ll change her mind.”
“Whatever. Don’t do me any favors.” She gets up and slams the door behind her. Maybe I do need to get my head out of my ass and be more present around here. She’s obviously going through something and I need to be here to help her. The last few weeks have been tough. I thought I’d want the quiet but it’s driving me insane. I’m used to hearing gunfire and bombs going off, so much so that the silence is making me paranoid. The past few days I’ve had to either drink myself to sleep or take sleeping pills. My CO says that there are therapists I can talk too, but I don’t want to. I did that when I went through my debriefing sessions. No need to open new wounds I say.
The thought of Derrick blown to pieces keeps ringing in my mind. I need to go to see his parents, but haven’t mustered up the courage to do so. What the fuck am I supposed to say to them? It should have been me and not him. He stepped in front of me so I wouldn’t get hit. He sacrificed his life to save mine. For what? To come home to a moody teenager and overzealous parents. Derrick had so much going for him. When we returned, he was going to start college to become a doctor. I, on the other hand, have no idea what the hell I am going to do with my life. The only thing that I know for certain is that Are’ has to be a part of my life. When I’m in a panic, I instantly calm down thinking about her hazel eyes and pouty lips screaming my name in pleasure.
The thoughts of Arebella and Derrick get me thinking about my future. I’ve been looking at the local community college brochures to see if there is anything else that I want to do with my life. My service years have come to a close, and I’m still young and have my life ahead of me. The brochure has so many different majors; I have no idea what to choose. My mom suggested I make an appointment with a guidance counselor, so I have an appointment with one next week. The excitement of knowing something good will come out of the meeting with the guidance counselor is enough to put a smile on my face. I know it will be a long road for me, but I am willing to put the work in.
Dave and I are supposed to meet up for lunch this afternoon and the more I lay here and think about it, the more I don’t want to go. Dave is a good guy, but he gets on my nerves a lot. The song “There goes my baby” plays on my phone. I know it’s her because that is what I set her ring tone as.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Sorry I didn’t answer. I was with a customer.” Relief washed over me when I heard her voice. Was she actually going to give me a chance?
“No problem. I was calling to see if you’d like to go out to dinner with me?” Dear God, please say yes. I want to see her. Fuck that, I need to see her.
“Sure. When were you thinking? I’m busy tonight, but am free tomorrow evening.” My breath leaves my body, letting out a huge gasp.
“What was that?” She asks
“I was holding my breath in fear you were going to say no. ‘No’ is all I’ve been hearing from you lately and I’m glad you didn’t say no this time.
“Brandon, we can date, but we need to take it slow okay. Don’t rush me.”
“I won’t. I promise. Can I pick you up?”
“Yeah. I’ll text you the address once we get off the phone. Is seven okay? It will give me a little time to rest and get ready once I get off work.”
“Sweetheart, I’d wait an eternity for you. Whatever time is fine with me,” I tell her. I know it sounds sappy, but I can’t resist telling her what’s in my heart.
“The wait is over,” she laughs lightly. “Listen, I’ve gotta get back to work. See you tomorrow.”
I’m reluctant to say goodbye. Tomorrow can’t come quickly enough. “Can’t wait.” We hang up, and a few moments later, I receive a text containing her address. I save it in the phone, close it and remain lying on the bed until it’s time for me to go meet Dave. My mom has to drop me off because I’m still without a car. After lunch, we were going to make the long drive to the city to try and find me a decent car. I really want a Ford F-150 extended cab. I have no overheads, so I should be able to make the payments with ease.
At lunch, Dave tries to talk me into a Nissan Titan. Those are really nice, but they also come with a hefty price tag. I've researched the F-150 and know I can afford it, especially if I get a used one. Lunch with Dave is as predicted. He spends the entire time talking about himself and the fact that he is now seeing Tasha. He keeps raving about what a catch she is. I just hope for her sake, she can stop him from fucking everything that walks. Maybe she is the one for him. I know for certain that my dream girl will be awaiting me tomorrow.
The next day, I pull up to Are’s house at exactly six fifty-five in my new truck. I look at my phone again to make sure I have the correct address, because what is in front of my eyes looks to be retail space. When I look back up, my breath stops at a vision in red. Are’ comes traipsing down the steps on the side of the building in a strapless red dress. It sits at her knees, with sexy black heels. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in all my life. I don’t even realize I’m still sitting there gaping at her, until she knocks on the window of the truck. I can’t bring myself to move at first until she knocks again. I’m such a dick. I rush to open my door, and rush around to help her in. We pull out and start to drive.
“Sorry about that. You just caught me off guard.”
“Why’s that?” she asks.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” She smiles shyly.
“I’m nothing compared to you.” We sat quietly for a while as I drove us to our destination.
“New truck I see. It’s really nice.”
“Yeah, got tired of borrowing my parents’ car.”
“Wish I had a car. Hate hauling groceries in the rain. I’m saving though. Should have enough in the next month or two.”
“As long as I’m around, don’t worry about a car. I can take you anywhere you need to go.” I stop the car in front of the local Mexican food place. This place has the best tacos and burritos around. I hope she hasn’t been here already. I like the idea of being her first in as many experiences as possible.
“Hope you like Mexican food. This place is awesome and I’ve been wanting to come here ever since I got back.”
“I love Mexican food. Never been here though.” Super score for me.
I help Are’ out of the truck and we make our way into the restaurant which is dimly lit. Candles occupy each table and light chatter fills the restaurant.
“This place looks amazing, Brandon.”
“It is. Trust me. Just wait until you taste the food.” We walk in and I usher Are’ with my hand on the small of her back and breath her in. My God the woman smells wonderful. As we follow the hostess, I can’t help but see wandering eyes admiring her as we walk past, and I feel my blood begin to boil. She is mine and I don’t like the idea of any other man looking at her. Can’t fault them though, because the girl is stunning beyond words. I never knew God could make a creature like her. After being seated in a booth, we give the waiter our drink orders, and at last we are alone.
“Why did it take you two weeks to call me?” Dang she doesn’t hold back any punches.
“I know you wanted to take it slow and I didn’t want to come off forceful, like I knew I was doing. Don’t want to scare you off.”
“Calling someone is a way to get to know them. You kept saying you wanted to get to know me. And stop staring at me. It’s freaking me out a little.”
“I’m sorry for not calling you sooner. I’d rather get to know you in person rather than on a cell phone. To me, cell phones are impersonal.” I clear my throat. “I have to stare at you Are. You’re stunningly beautiful.”
“I’m not beautiful,” she tells me.
I slide out of the booth and slide into her side. I can’t help myself; I don’t like her thinking so little of herself. I gently take hold of her face. “Please don’t say that. Whoever told you that you weren’t beautiful is a liar. In fact, you’re beyond beautiful. You’re gorgeous. I could get lost in your beauty.” She shuts her eyes as though she’s soaking in what I’m saying.
“Where I come from Brandon, we aren’t allowed to talk like this.” What does she mean where she is from? Now this conversation just got more intriguing.
“Talk to me. I’m here to listen.” Her eyes darken to a sadness that makes me want to take away her pain.
“Now isn’t the time. Let’s just enjoy dinner and talk about it some other time.”
“Listen to me, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid to tell me anything. I’m a good listener and nothing you tell me will scare me off.”
“I figured that, but I don’t want to get that deep tonight. Tonight, I want to enjoy being here with you. Let’s ease into that another day.” She says as her eyes soften, no longer painful looking.
“Whatever you wish.” I say kissing the back of her hand. Her face blushes letting me know that tonight will be memorable.
The rest of the dinner is pretty perfect. I’ve discovered Arebella works in a clothing shop and lives above her studio. Her dream has always been to be an artist and to sell her paintings all over the world. She is even more amazing than I could have imagined. The food is great and the company is even better. Hands down, this is the best date I’ve ever had.
Arebella
I waited two weeks for him to call me. It’s been the longest two weeks of my life. When I called him back, I didn’t want to sound too eager. The truth was I was dying to see him, or hear his voice, anything. We’ve made arrangements to go out for dinner. My heart did a little dance because there’s nothing that I wanted more. Before I head out tomorrow evening, I call Tasha over to help me pick something out.
“I give up. I have nothing. All my clothes are drab. Stupid farm killed my sense of style,” I say to her.
“You have to have something in here.” she says as she steps over the pile of clothing sitting in the middle of the floor. I’ve tried on several outfits and nothing seems to be right.
“There’s nothing in there, Tash,” I complain.
“See, this is exactly why I’ve been trying to get your ass to go shopping. But noooo, you want to save every little penny. Saving is good, but you have to splurge once in a while. Hold the phone. What about this?” She is holding a strapless red dress my boss gave me a few months back. It had been on the sale rack and I wanted it so badly, but never could afford it. She finally told me to take it for a job well done.
“I totally forgot about that dress. Theresa gave it to me. Never thought I’d have any place to wear it.”
“Try it on,” she orders. “I have the perfect black pumps to go with it.” I shed my robe and step into the dress. She zips me up and I turn to the mirror to see something I’ve never seen before. A glimpse of what I’d missed being on that farm. All the dates, school dances, going out with my friends, all of it I’d missed. All I ever wanted was to be like the kids I’d see in town—laughing in the store and playing hide and seek in the streets. Now here I am, standing in front of the mirror in a red dress about to embark on my very first date. Yeah, I’d gone out with Will a couple of times, but I wouldn’t call them dates. There is nothing holding me back now. Nothing stopping me from living my life the way I want to live it. I miss my family terribly, but at the same time, I am finally finding my own happiness, what the world means to me. Not living by how someone else is telling me, what to think, dress, and feel. And if I feel any differently, then I am doomed to hell. It’s liberating. Now, I am about to go on a date with a man who I hope to be my future.
“That looks amazing on you, Are’. I’ll bring my shoes in the morning before I go to work.” She points at me in the dress. “That dress was made for you to wear.”
“Thanks, I think so too. Never had I dreamed I’d see him again, let alone be going on a date. I’ve waited so long, Tash. You thought I was nuts, but look at me now. He’s really real and coming to get me.” There are no words for the happiness that is bubbling up inside me.
“You deserve nothing but happiness, Are’. I just didn’t want you to waste your life waiting. I saw my mother do that, and now she lives alone when she had opportunities to be happy. My father was never coming back to her, but she never gave up and now she is alone. She has me, but it’s not the same as having someone to spend your life with. I just didn’t want that for you. You’re young and beautiful, with a bright future.” She says, tucking a piece of hair behind my ears. “I love you to the moon and back, and want nothing but the best for you.”
“Love you too, kiddo.”
About an hour later, I say goodbye to Tasha; she has a date with Brandon’s friend Dave. She really likes him, but says he is a playboy. I hope he doesn’t hurt her, because Tasha has been hurt enough in her life. For the rest of the evening, I curl up on the bed with a bowl of black walnut ice cream and watch old episodes of The Golden Girls. It’s a show I discovered a few years ago, and I love every minute of it. Who knew three elderly women could be so funny.
Brandon ended up taking me to this little Mexican hole in the wall that turned out to be great. We sat and talked for hours about our dreams and aspirations. He told me about his parents and his little sister named Emma that he calls Dot. He said that he always
knew he was going to join the service because he wasn’t what you call book smart. Now more than ever, he wants to make more of his life. He has checked into going to college; he says to honor his friend Derrick’s memory. Derrick and Brandon were very close. Brandon tenses every time his name is brought up. I knew there was more to the story, but I didn’t want to push. He doesn’t push me to tell him about my Amish background so I won’t push him. After dinner, Brandon helps me into his truck and pulls away from the restaurant.
“Can I take you some place before we go home?”
“Sure. I’m off work tomorrow so I’m in no hurry to go home.” We drive for a bit until we see water. He turns us down a wooded path surrounded by trees.
“Where are we going? You’re not taking me somewhere to kill me are you?” He slams on his brakes and looks at me in a very serious way. He eyes are furrowed and they are a deeper shade of blue. A blue I’d never seen before.
“Don’t ever say anything like that again. Do you hear me? I’d never hurt you. EVER.” He yelled with a dark gruff tone in his voice that scared me.
“It was a joke, Brandon.” He puts his head to the steering wheel. “Hey, I’m sorry. It was just a joke.”
“Don’t joke about life. Just please don’t joke like that,” he says. The solemn tone in his voice scared me a little.
“I’m sorry. I won’t.” I say softly almost at a whisper. Don’t want to upset him again, or have any more outbursts.
“Good.” With that, he starts back on the path. What the hell was that about? I know his friend died, but there is something frightening in his voice. He seems scared that something is going to happen. What that is, I have no idea.
“We’re here. I use to come here a lot as a kid, when I needed to think. Anytime anything bad or good happened.” I open the door and get out, kicking my shoes off in the process. This place is beautiful. The sand is soft like little pillows beneath my feet as I look out over the lake. The moon reflects off it perfectly matching the ambiance of the night of romance. One of my dreams is to go to France and paint something like this. Paris is the city of romance and I want to capture it. No need for that now because here it lies at my fingertips. I walk over to the edge of water and dip my toe in. It feels amazingly warm. The night couldn’t be more perfect.
