by Nicole Falls
“You’re a nobody-ass lie, but I’ll let you have it…so long as it ain’t that wack Bobby negro…” Grace muttered.
“Ugh, absolutely is not Bobby! I’ve been done with that idiot! He’s on his way to being somebody’s baby’s daddy anyway…definitely, ain’t thinking about me.”
“Who in the what now?”
“I don’t even want to talk about non-factors right now, Grace. Let’s talk about us. Me. You. And how I’m so, so, so, so, soooooo sorry for wilding out on you earlier. I just…I…I’m tired of being strong, Grace, you know? Tired of having the stiff upper lip and getting over and through, I just…you didn’t deserve any of that. I know you were just asking a simple and innocent question and I jumped out of the window on you. So…I apologize. From way, way down in an itty-bitty corner in the bottom of my heart. You forgive me?”
“Already forgotten, Nay.”
“No! Don’t forget it. That’s my problem now. Sweeping things away instead of addressing them head-on, but that mess ends now. This homecoming is gonna be a time for healing, Grace, finally digging up all of my old issues from the root and repairing relationships.”
“That’s deep stuff for so late at night, baby sister. This been on your mind for a while?”
“The whole drive, I’ve been thinking about you and me. And mama and daddy. And Mikey…especially Mikey.”
Grace blew out a breath, “Today was the anniversary…you know that’s why I was worried about you, right? Remember how nobody could get a hold of him after he was supposed to be driving back from Chicago.”
“I know…”
“I just thought…we can’t lose Emerson this way, too,” Grace whispered, almost as if it pained her even to say the words, “I knew I couldn’t talk you out of this road tripping once you’d decided on it, but I was so scared for you to drive all this way by yourself. Then when you stopped to pick up the ax murderer…”
“Oh, my stars, Grace! Roosevelt was not an ax murderer. He is a very nice man.”
“Is he now? How are you so sure of that?”
“He just…was, okay? He didn’t murder me, did he?”
“Only because I had all of his information. If I was a less overbearing big sister, you could have been ax murdered.”
“Why do you keep saying ax murdered? Would it not just be a murder?”
“Ax murdering sounds more dramatic, Nay. And you know your big sister loves nothing more than the drama!”
I giggled at the truth in that statement. Grace absolutely leaned into her more dramatic side every chance she got. God bless Ted and her children for not only putting up with it but indulging her dramatics from time to time.
I yawned widely, stretching and rubbing my eyes a bit before responding to Grace, “True, we know that’s the only thing on which you and Mary J Blige disagree.”
Grace laughed and grabbed my arm to drag me off the couch, “Aight baby girl let’s get you into bed. We have more than enough time to talk…about everything you were thinking about on your drive. I know you gotta be beat now.”
She showed me to where I’d be sleeping, a cozily decorated room complete with its own en-suite thanks to a recent remodel project she and Ted completed. This was Grayson’s old room that had been converted to the guest room since he was away at college. They converted a little room over the garage as his space for those rare occasions when he came home on breaks. I bade Grace good night and was good and knocked out before my head rested completely on the pillow.
Sunlight at full beam forced me to wake up what seemed like minutes later but was actually a few hours later I realized as I opened my eyes to check the bedside clock for the time. Six thirty-two in the morning, gross, I thought before I pulled the comforter over my head to block some of the sunlight streaming through the windows. Grace and I were definitely going to have to talk about adding blackout curtains in this room for as long as I was staying here. Because I was certainly not being awakened in the wee hours of the morning by the sun every day for the next undetermined number of weeks.
“Tamia, please stop being a creep,” I could hear Grace scolding just outside of the door to my room, “Nay ain’t going anywhere any time soon, and she’ll be out when she’s up. Don’t stay casually posted outside of this door and do not go in there waking your auntie up either, little girl.”
I got up from the bed because it was clear that I wasn’t actually going to be going back to sleep any time soon.
“Leave my niece alone,” I said, opening the door, “You act like you didn’t stalk the door last night and wait up for me.”
“Teeeeeee!” Tamia squealed before launching herself at me, darn near taking both of us out.
“Hey, my Shuga Booga!” I squealed just as loudly, squeezing her tightly.
It had been way too long, and she’d grown to tower over me in the years that had passed since I’d been in her presence last. I couldn’t believe how tall and pretty she was, looking like Grace in her prime. I said as much which made Tamia perk up and preen while Grace gave me the evil eye for mentioning that she was anywhere past her prime. Our good-natured ribbing continued down the stairs and into the kitchen where I helped Grace prepare breakfast for us girls and Ted who was due to be home soon. He was temporarily working the overnight shift at the hospital where he was a nursing supervisor. It was a recent development that Grace hoped wouldn’t be a long-term thing because she already felt like she had to adapt to him being on-call, but the overnights in addition to that had her ready to go bonkers. It severely limited their alone time and his availability to attend all of Tamia’s fifty ‘leven recitals, games, and social events; something Grace had recently confided me in that was causing a bit of undue strain in their relationship.
I'd been home for a week and outside of continually texting with Emerson hadn't managed to be worth a damn in any other aspect. The meeting with my grandmother's estate lawyer got pushed back due to a family emergency on his end. We were scheduled to reconvene today—this afternoon, finally and I was more than ready to get this shit over with and put all of the drama behind me. Hell, I wasn't even sure why we even needed to all come together as a “family” for this anyway, I already knew that MaDear had left me the house and probably half of her pension, the rest to be split with Natalie. But Lightford, at my protests, merely stated that my grandmother had left a video that included messages for everyone, and she was insistent upon us watching it all together. And, in his words, “The last thing I need to do is disobey Edna Ashe because even though I don't even believe in ghosts, I know she'd find a way to come back and haunt me.”
I had to laugh at the genuine fear in his voice when he explained this to me after I'd called badgering him about the contents of the will directly after the funeral. MaDear was about four foot nothing standing tall but managed to put the fear of God into any man walking with a single stare. I'd been cowering on the receiving end of that stare too many times to recount over the years. For some reason I was a habitual line stepper, daring to disobey her at nearly every chance I got from when I was twelve to eighteen, but MaDear didn't pay my acting out any mind and consistently got me together every time with either her words or a switch.
“You ready, RoBro?” Natalie asked, popping her head into my bedroom door.
“Knocking too good for you?”
She just laughed and rolled her eyes.
“Why knock when I have a key? Duh!”
I didn't even hear her come in, let alone make her way upstairs. She'd been living here with MaDear near the end, well splitting her time between MaDear's place and her girlfriend Kiersten's house, so she still had her keys. We'd definitely have to establish some rules after the house was officially signed over to me because Nat had no regard for boundaries sometimes. The last thing I needed was her popping in under the guise of checking up on me, but actually just lounging in my space. I needed the time alone, time to clear my head, recalibrate, and begin this new chapter of my life. MaDear's passing was a blessing
in disguise, really. I'd been on my last legs in LA, toiling, feeling unfulfilled but too prideful to admit defeat and come home. Now that this opportunity was in front of me, I was looking forward to figuring out what my next steps would be.
“Yeah man, let's go get this shit over with,” I answered, finally, “May today be the last day I even have to lay eyes on Roosevelt and Alice.”
“Damn, Ro, that's cold. They are your parents still.”
“Nah, they're my sperm and egg donor. Both of my parents are now resting in perfect peace.”
“You know MaDear would tan your hide for speaking about them like that, bro. You gotta let some of that hatred for them go, man. Be grateful your parents are still here. You could be all alone in this world like me,” Natalie said breezily, but I could tell it was a front.
I pulled her close, squeezing her in a tight hug, “You're not alone as long as I'm here, kid. Believe that. And I know Kiersten would definitely resent not being included, too.”
“You know what I mean, Ro. Stop deflecting. You're going to have to forgive them someday.”
“Sheeeeeeit,” I replied.
“You should really be grateful that they are still here for you to be able to forgive. What I wouldn't give to have even the slightest memories of my parents. You're being ridiculous, bro, you know this right?”
“Ridiculous is threatening to put your child out of the only home he's known simply because he dared ask questions. Ridiculous is pretending as if said child doesn't exist for weeks on end and not seeing anything wrong with that. Ridiculous is signing over your parental rights to your mother because 'any child of mine who refuses to believe in Jehovah God is no child of mine'. Now I'm sorry that your mom and dad passed before you even got a chance to know them well, Natti, you know I am, but fuck Roosevelt the Second and Alice. As I said, they're mere donors. The day I forgive them will be the same day that they 'forgive' me for making a choice to be my own person and not fall in line simply because they asked me to,” I replied, feeling my anger building, “You know what? Let's not do this right now, Brat. You drivin'?”
“Hell no! I came over here because I thought you would insist upon it!” Natalie laughed.
“Bum!”
“Ya, mama!”
I said nothing in return, shaking my head and walked downstairs with Natalie trailing me.
“Too soon?” she asked cautiously.
“Nah, man,” I laughed, “Let's go before we're late.”
Aloysius Lightford was a peculiar looking little man. I had no idea where MaDear found this dude, but she said he was the only lawyer who she'd seen that ever looked trustworthy. He was a good five feet tall, if even that, and reminded me of Hans Moleman from The Simpsons. All he was missing was the cane, but the stooped shoulders, oversized glasses, and straggly hair was on point. Ten years ago, she dragged me all over the Chicagoland area from lawyer to lawyer as she decided to finally draw up a will and get her affairs in order in the event of her demise. I was reluctant to accompany her at the time because I didn't want to think of a world in which she didn't walk this Earth, but I was ever grateful for her foresight when that fateful day came because the process of settling her affairs was less messy than I'd witnessed watching friends bury loved ones.
Roosevelt the Second and Alice were already in Lightford's office by the time Natalie and I were shown in. Nat gave them hugs, and I acknowledged their presence with the briefest of head nods, a courtesy I thought was more than adequate.
“All right, now that everyone's here, we can begin,” Mr. Lightford said before pressing a button on his phone to dispatch his assistant.
Moments later she was rolling in one of those large metal TV carts that transported me back to special days in elementary school. On the cart were a box TV and a DVD/VCR combo. Lightford and his assistant fumbled with getting the inputs right until Nat stepped up to help them get things settled. A few moments later the screen of the television was filled with MaDear smiling face. Pain shot through my chest immediately, the finality of her no longer being here hitting me all over again. I tried quickly steeling the emotion on my face, but Nat caught it immediately, moving closer, clutching my hand in hers and giving it a quick squeeze.
“Now you negros bet not be crying right now. I'll give you a second to collect ya selves,” Ma Dear quipped, immediately sending the whole room into a fit of laughter—even Lightford, though I'm sure he was present during the initial recording of this.
“Obviously if you're watching this, it means I've finally gone to join my Big Ro in that deluxe apartment in the sky. I don't want to drag this out or keep you for too long, so I'll get right to it. J.R. and Alice—I asked you two to be here because I have one request of you now that I've left this Earth, you make things right with my BabyRo. This mess has gone on for far too long, and I was to blame for a bit of that. Now while I was here, I let your stupidity and hubris trump your natural inclinations to do the right things, and I didn't even try. Now we may not see eye to eye on what name we call God, but what we should not be doing is turning our back on family under the guise of religion. I know that Bible y'all read at that Kingdom Hall tells you about honoring your mother and father, just as the King James does—so I want you to hear me and hear me good. That boy needs you all—and you all need him, too. Make it right, J.R. Alice, I already know where you stand on things, we talked about this a lot over the years, now it's time for your fool husband to make an effort. Yeah, son, I'm calling you a fool. Who in the hell kicks an eleven-year-old out of their home for natural curiosity? I know I raised you better than that...and to forget the foundation on which your daddy and I raised you and forsaking your child? I hope you've lived with that shame and are ready to let it go and lighten your load. Y'all are all you have left. Don't go to the grave with regrets. BabyRo, I know you're sitting up here with your face all twisted, so cut it out and get it right!”
I immediately dropped the scowl that was definitely spread across my face and schooled my features into a more neutral expression.
“Now I know you still harbor hurt and anger, no matter how much money you spent on that therapist out in Hellay, baby. Now I want you to get on the road to healing, accept the olive branch if my fool ass son reaches out. And even if he doesn't, you don't give up on either one of them. Alice, you keep working to soften his heart and humble his spirit. Or I'll haunt all you negroes until the end of time,” MaDear broke out into a wheezing laugh, which led to a coughing spell. She motioned to someone off screen to give her some water, which she sipped before continuing.
“Ok, now we get to the good part. Natalie, I'll start with you, my baby. I was going to leave you the house, you know? But then you purchased that place with your roommate, and I said to myself, well she certainly doesn't need two places—even if she and that girl break up. Yep, baby, MaDear knew. And I wouldn't ever judge you; love is love, baby. Just sad you never felt you could share that part of your life with me, but that's okay and not what we're here for anyway. For you, my dear Nat, I've left your granddaddy’s vintage T-Bird. Ally, give her the envelope,” MaDear prodded, and Mr. Lightford produced a large manila envelope that he handed over to Nat.
“Also, in there are a coupla bonds and an account with the balance of your parents’ insurance money left in it. I know you thought I exhausted it all on your never-ending degree quest, but there's still a little bit in there for you to have a little fun. Also, might be a coupla surprises in there for you as well. You wait 'til you leave here to open and see what's all happening in that envelope, lil nosy.”
“J.R. and Alice, I already signed over the deed to me and Big Ro's place down in Louisiana over to y'all a couple of years ago. Ally, give them their envelope.” Lightford rose again to hand them a smaller, letter-sized envelope. “What I didn't tell you all was that we own the land it's on, too. Inside of that envelope is the deed for it. Promise me you'll enjoy it for a little while before you sell it, J.R.” MaDear chuckled, shaking her head.
&n
bsp; I looked over and saw the dollar signs in his eyes letting me know that this directive, as well as her others, would go ignored by him. It always came down to the bottom line, which most often was money for that man.
“And finally, my RoRo. You were by my side for so much of this preparation, so many of these decisions, and I'm grateful to you, baby. It's been time for you to come on home, so I'm leaving you the house, which you already knew. Ally, Ro's envelope please.” Mr. Lightford passed me a similarly sized envelope to the one he'd passed Nat. “I also left the Green Machine to you,” she said, referring to the awful monstrosity of a pickup truck that she'd driven for many years before the state took her license away, “We had many a fond memory in that truck, my baby. And you definitely had more memories in it than me if all of those empty condom wrappers I found in the flatbed from time to time told a story.”
I heard my mother gasp and I had to laugh at myself. Apparently, I hadn't been as careful as I thought in my teenage years. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the television screen.
“Like Natti's package, there's a coupla surprises in that envelope there for you too, RoRo. Welp, that's it's, Ally. We all outta envelopes and I'm all outta time. Love y'all...to the moon and back, for eternity. MaDear out,” she said, faking a mic drop, then giggling to herself before the screen faded to black.
I looked over at Nat, whose face was drawn tight, eyes glossy with the sheen of unshed tears. Looking over to the other side of the room, I saw my mother sobbing quietly while my father sat stoically before speaking, “Well, if that's all. Let's go, Alice.” Wordlessly she got up and followed him out of the room, neither of them acknowledging me, Nat, or Mr. Lightford as they exited.
“Rude asses,” I mumbled, “Thanks, Mr. Lightford—for everything. MaDear always said you were the only lawyer she could trust. I know she'd be grateful for how everything was handled here today. Ready, Brat?”
