by Nicole Falls
“Good morning,” she greeted me with a large grin, “How are you feeling?”
“Better, thanks for asking. You look…relaxed. Which, if it were me coming in here after a run, I’d definitely be looking the opposite.”
“Yeah, I did three quick miles this morning to do some more thinking. About what we talked about…and a few other things I needed to get in order.”
“And did it help? Get any clarity?” I asked, genuinely curious about the answer.
Yesterday was pretty rough, and though she had seemed to have bypassed the drama with her family by the time we’d gotten on the boat to cruise, I wanted to be sure that it wasn’t a passing distraction and she wouldn’t continue to carry the burden of her family drama with her.
“Yeah…a lil bit, I think so,” Emerson sighed, “We’ll see in due time though.”
I could see a bit of the sadness creeping back into her eyes, so I abruptly changed the subject.
“So, this picnic today? Should we expect more shenanigans with…what did you say the annoying chick’s name was? The nametag lady?”
“Oh, Tracey,” Emerson giggled, “Oh there’s absolutely going to be some drama with her at this picnic today. I saw one of my former classmates Teresa on my run through town this morning, and she said that there was a little bit of drama at the after party…something about Von being all over another chick we graduated with, Samantha.”
“Must’ve been ol girl I saw him leaving the bathroom with,” I said, not even thinking.
“Wait a minute! You saw what? Tell me everything,” Emerson crowed.
She was really getting a kick out of this. I ran down seeing them briefly and then asked about her relationship with this Von cat and the nametag lady. Emerson told me about, Tracey—the nametag lady, being super pushy and trying to insert herself into the REC Shop Divas, a lil clique that she, Charli, and Emerson had formed that emulated a similar crew that some of their older siblings ran in. Since Tracey’s older sister was in the lil crew with Grace and some others, Tracey thought they should have invited her into their circle, but the girl was just too overbearing to even want to befriend according to Emerson. Hell, I’d only had a couple of run-ins with her and would definitely be inclined to agree. She was intense now, so I can just imagine what she had been like as they were growing up.
“Sounds like this picnic might be a lil lit if everything comes to a head today,” I said, laughing while rubbing my hands together.
“And they say women are gossips, tuh!”
“Hey, I gotta get my entertainment somehow in this place.”
“Woooow, really.”
“I said what I said,” I replied with a shrug, “You mad?”
“I wanna be, but honestly, I feel the same way. I mean growing up Ragston was all I knew, but coming back? After being away for so long? It feels so different, you know? It’s taken me darn near the entire time I’ve been here to get used to it.”
“You’ll finally get used to it by the time you’re heading back to LA,” I laughed.
“Yeah,” Emerson murmured before casting her eyes downward.
I walked over to her, tilting her chin up so she could look me in the eye, then wrapped her up in a loose embrace, “Hey…what’s this about?”
“I just…let’s not talk about me going back to LA quite yet, okay?”
“Well, what you want to talk about instead then?” I asked, moving the hands that were looped around her waist down to grip her ass.
“That’s a step in the right direction,” she replied, tilting her face up even further for a kiss.
I’d lowered my head about halfway when I heard a voice admonishing, “Damn, I know I gave y’all a room for the express purpose of doing things like this. Can y’all not in my living room?”
“Hater,” Emerson called out as she practically dragged me upstairs to finish what we had started.
Monday morning came too quickly, and neither Emerson nor I was ready for it to be here. I had an interview with a music school on Tuesday afternoon though, so my time in Ragston had officially come to an end. After the picnic yesterday, Emerson and I had spent a little more time over at Grace and Ted’s, with some of their cousins coming over. It was a relaxing Sunday evening, sitting around getting to know more and more about Emerson through the tales of her family about their adventures and hijinks growing up. Emerson was known as little miss rule follower, but I could see pieces of that shiny veneer of needing to be perfect crumbling. With me she was just herself, no pretense, no façade—just said and did what she wanted. I was happy that she was that comfortable with me. We were still pretty early in this thing, but I definitely could see a future with Emerson and was looking forward to going on this journey with her.
“Do you have to go back today?” Emerson whined as we sat on the couch in Charli’s living room, watching the local morning news.
I dropped a kiss onto her forehead before responding, “Unfortunately. Remember I told you about that interview that Nat set up for me? I can’t flake on that, it’d reflect badly on her.”
“Ugh, can you be less…perfect, please? I’m really tired of you not even working to make me fall for your behind,” Emerson said, then clasped her hands over her mouth like she hadn’t meant to speak those words aloud.
I didn’t tease like I’m sure she expected, I just sat there with a smug ass grin on my face. It felt good knowing that I wasn’t the only one wading into the deep end. She was falling for me as hard and fast as I was for her.
Nuzzling her neck, I nipped at her earlobe and spoke directly into her ear,” It’s okay to admit you’re in love with me. I won’t hold it against you. I’m kind of charming like that.”
She shuddered, settling deeper into the embrace I’d had her currently yoked up in. Moving from her ear, I nibbled my way further down her neck as she inclined her head to give me better access. Smacking one final kiss in the middle of her clavicle, I reluctantly pulled away, looking at the time on the television. I needed to be getting on the road soon, unfortunately.
“You sure you don’t wanna just ride back with me? I’d fly you back up here before it’s time for you to take off to Cali again, c’mon you know you wanna,” I teased.
“That does sound very tempting, but…I have a few things to take care of here before I get out of town. Been running from my demons for too long, time to face them head on or whateva.”
“Those sound like wise words…come up with that on your own?”
Emerson rolled her eyes, and I chuckled.
“You know,” she started, “If it’s such solid advice, you could—”
“All right,” I said, getting up from the couch and pulling her along with me, “You hanging out around here a bit longer or do you want me to drop you at Grace’s before I get on the road.”
“Hanging here. The girls and I are supposed to do lunch today.”
Emerson followed me up the stairs and watched me pack my bag with a hangdog look on her face the entire time. I wasn’t exactly pleased that I had to leave her yet again, forced to settle for text, phone, and FaceTime conversations. But, it was to be our fate until circumstances changed and allowed for us to be in the same place at the same time. After slowly packing my things it was time to say goodbye. With the way that Emerson and I were both moving, you would have thought that one or the both of us were being led to slaughter.
“Are you sure you have to go?” Emerson asked, leaning against the driver side door of the Caddy blocking my entrance.
I leaned down pressing a slow lingering kiss on her lips before pulling back and nodding. Emerson crossed her arms, pouting a bit which made her lips poke out looking adorably kissable, so once again I leaned in to place another kiss on her mouth. Once our tongues touched, we both lost sight of the fact that we were in public, sharing a kiss that was definitely not safe for public consumption. The necessity of breathing reared its ugly head, causing us to disengage, and I rested my forehead against hers as both our chests
heaved. Slowly pulling back, I promised to call her as soon as I’d crossed into Chicago city limits, separated our bodies and got into the car to drive home.
“You know you can’t mope around here forever, right, kid?” Grace said, flopping down next to me on the couch in her den.
After Roosevelt went back to Chicago, it didn’t make much sense for me to continue to be underfoot at Charli’s while she oversaw the completion of the renovations on the Inn, so I was back at Grace’s until it was time for me to take that long drive back to LA. I certainly wasn’t looking forward to that at all. Maybe getting my Oprah and Gayle on, sans an Oprah wasn’t the brightest idea. Those many, many hours that I would be on the road on the way back didn’t sound appealing in the least. I looked up the cost to have my car shipped back to LA and just couldn’t justify spending over a thousand dollars because my impulsive decision turned out to be one that I definitely should have given at least a night’s rest of thought.
“I’m not moping,” I replied, with a full-on pout that definitely contradicted my words.
“You are. Ever since your lil boyfriend left town, you’ve been in a bad mood.”
I couldn’t even deny it because it was true. Despite he and I being in constant contact since he left because neither one of us had any business, I still missed the hell out of Roosevelt. And right now, we were in the same time zone, so I can only imagine how much worse it was going to be when I was back home. But I was trying to maintain an air of positivity about it all because Roosevelt was so confident that while we may have hiccups, that it would be smooth sailing for the most part. And I wanted to believe him, so I was faking it till we made it.
“How do you know I’m not just sad because I’ll be leaving you soon, huh?”
“Oh girl, please. I know I’ve been on your nerves since before you even got here, so you were probably plotting on how you can cut out of here early on me,” Grace laughed.
“I’m not!”
“Mmmhmm, tell me anything.”
“You’ve got me for at least four more days, sis!”
I wasn’t due back to work for ten more days but wanted to give myself a few days at home to acclimate myself back to my usual routine before heading back to work. There would be less dilly-dallying on my drive back to California, and I’d mapped it out to only take three days.
“Speaking of…” Grace started but didn’t finish.
I already knew where this was going. Mommy had been working overtime on Grace to get her to try to get me to come to my parents’ house for dinner before I got back on the road. When asked why she wanted to do it at their place instead of Grace’s, she claimed it was because my childhood home was more spacious than Grace and Ted’s. Since she was not only inviting extended family, but also the few friends that I had in town she thought the extra space would make all of the difference. It was really, I believed, a thinly veiled ruse to get my father and me under the same roof once again. And unbeknownst to her and Grace, I’d finally decided to give in. My father and I were long overdue to hash things out, and I didn’t want to get back on the road to California without having had an adult conversation and hopefully finding a way to squash our years-long beef.
“I already know what you’re gonna bring up, Gracie and tell ya mama I said yes.”
“I know it’s gonna be awkward, but it would mean a lot to Mo—wait what?”
“I said fine. Plan her lil dinner or whateva. We can have it over there.”
Grace squealed, pulling me into a tight hug. I returned the embrace halfheartedly, feeling more nervous than anything, but Roosevelt and I had talked about it a few times. Well, more like I was obsessing about it and Roosevelt let me get all of my feelings out before offering the least biased advice he had. Despite his situation being strikingly similar, he was really able to provide me with objectivity. And after going over everything in my mind hundreds of times plus badgering Roosevelt about what I should do almost daily, I decided that I would try to give my dad the benefit of the doubt and hear his side of the story. Even though I knew no matter how he sliced it, I would believe that he was wrong.
The next few days passed in a blur and before I knew it, it was time for the gathering at my parents’ house. Grace had gone over early to help my mom with cooking and other last-minute preparation, and I was supposed to drive over with Ted, Gray, and Shug, but I sent them ahead of me, needing just a little more time to fortify myself for whatever was to come this evening. I called Roosevelt before I walked out of the door and his soothing energy was just what I needed to quell my mounting nervousness. He was telling me some ridiculous story about his cousin’s girlfriend cussing out and almost laying out that waitress from The Diner. I guess she got a little too familiar with Nat and Kiki was not having it. I welcomed the distraction of drama in which I wasn’t involved.
“Babe, you mean to tell me little soft-spoken Kiki really turned up in The Diner like that?”
“It took Petey and me to get her out of there. If Nat didn’t know that girl went hard for her before she definitely knows now,” Roosevelt laughed.
“I’m tryna picture miss prim and proper going off and I just can’t,” I giggled.
“It was definitely a sight to see.”
“All right, I suppose I should let you go so I can go face the music.”
“You sound so thrilled right now,” Roosevelt quipped, “You’ll be fine, baby.”
“I’m glad you think so like you didn’t witness me having a complete meltdown not too long ago.”
“I think now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, you’ll be able to have a civilized conversation. Just keep your brother in mind. Despite everything he went through with your dad, do you think he’d want you guys to be at war with one another?”
“Wow, invoking the dead brother, that’s a low blow, boo.”
“Whatever it takes to remind you that family is everything. Chuck seems to have taken some time to reflect and possibly course correct his approach now. You just gotta let go of your anger and let love in.”
“Have you spoken to Alice lately?”
“Actually, yes,” Roosevelt replied, which shocked the stuffing out of me.
“Wait…you buried the lede once again! When did this happen? I want to hear all about it.”
“How about we trade war stories after you patch things up with Chuck?”
“All right, your point is taken. I’ll call you after dinner and let you know how things went.”
“Looking forward to it. Talk to you later, love you.”
I paused, “What?”
There was no answer though, just the chiming of the call ending because Roosevelt had hung up before the last syllable of my question aspirated. Maybe it was a reflexive thing he said because we were ending the call. He hadn’t meant it. Couldn’t have meant it. Not this early. I shook off the thought and grabbed my bag and keys to head over to my parents. I needed my energy squarely focused on whatever I was about to encounter once I entered their house.
By the time I pulled up, it was a full-blown party in progress. A few of my cousins were chilling on my parents’ front porch as I walked up. I greeted them then moved through the house to see the backyard packed out. My mother had recently invested in one of those large outdoor tents, so that’s where everyone was gathered. She had the food set up buffet style and a few tables scattered under the tent where several members of my family and friend sat in various stages of eating.
“I almost thought you were gonna bail on us at the last minute,” I heard from over my shoulder, “Can’t say I’d blame you, honestly.”
I turned around to see Ted standing there holding a beer and smirking. My brother-in-law and I had a funny relationship. We didn’t speak much, but we didn’t have any beef either, just not much in common, really. With me living so far away for most of his and Grace's relationship, it never really gave us a chance to foster a relationship.
“I definitely thought about it,” I said, giggling.
“I really hope things work out between you and Chuck. I know you’ve heard this from Grace, but I figured hearing it from me would really convince you. He really has changed, Em. And you know I couldn’t stand his ass for years, barely wanted my kids to be around him for the way he reacted when Grace and I came to tell him we were pregnant with Gray. Hell, all those years he refused to acknowledge the validity of our marriage or that he had a whole ass grandson who lived less than ten minutes away by car.”
“What made you get over that? How did you get past how horrible he was to you, Ted? That’s a serious question.”
“Honestly, it took time and a healthy dose of not giving a fuck. We really coexisted in the same place for years, quietly ignoring one another, until Chuck came to me and apologized.”
“Who did what?”
“Yep, came over one day out of the blue and caught me all the way off guard. He was really remorseful. Your father has been holding onto a lot of trauma, girl. That man was in my house for hours like I was his priest in a confessional. Grace didn’t believe it when I told her when she got home. So…I’m saying, it may not be as bad as you think it’ll be, lil sis,” Ted finished before walking off.
Just as Ted left my eyesight, my father was walking through the entrance of the tent. I exhaled deeply and made my way over to him. For a moment we both stood silently, just staring until I finally said, “Hey Daddy, I think we should go have a chat.”
He cleared his throat before gesturing for me to proceed before him, “Sure thing, baby girl. Let’s go in my study…away from all this racket.
He was trying to keep his voice light, but a thickness of emotion coated his words that belied his outward calm. Grace was bringing some food from inside back out to the tent and gave me a thumbs up when she saw daddy and I heading in. Soon we reached his study, settling on separate sides leather tufted sofa that sat along the back wall of the space. Despite being the one to initiate this meeting of the minds I had no idea how even to start the conversation. In the years that had passed, I had imagined so many times blessing him out in my own special way, taking him to task for his horrible demeanor after all of these years, but the only thing that came out of my mouth when we were sitting face to face was…
