“Oh no Marisa Nicole, stop that right now. You are not a fool or stupid. You can‘t help how you feel for him. You two need to just sit down, talk and figure out what’s going on between the two of you. That’s the only way you will know for sure how he feels,” Nadia explained.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Marisa sighed. “But enough about me though, what’s going on with you?”
Nadia bit her lip and ran her hands through her hair. She had some crazy news to deliver, but she wasn‘t sure how to do so.
“I messed up Reese Cup, and I messed up bad,” Nadia shook her head.
“What girl? It can‘t be worst than what I just told you,” Marisa said.
Nadia reached under her bed and pulled out a bag, placing it on Marisa’s lap without saying anything. Marisa looked at Nadia suspiciously before reaching in the bag. When she pulled out the contents, she looked at Nadia with a shocked expression on her face with her mouth open.
“Are you sure?” Asked Marisa.
Nadia shook her head. “I missed my period two months in a row and I thought it was just stress. I haven‘t really had any symptoms except for an occasional sickness here and there.” She explained.
“Well sister girl, I need for you to go to the bathroom and pop a squat so we can know for sure,” Marisa told her while handing her the pregnancy test.
Nadia sighed as she took the test and dragged herself out of the bed. When she reached the bathroom, she did what she had to do and sat on the side of the tub while she waited. She bit her nails and bounced her leg up and down in anticipation. She said a quick prayer asking God to be with her.
After what seemed like forever she slowly walked over to the counter and almost fainted when she saw the two pink lines indicating that she was, in fact, pregnant. Almost immediately, her eyes started to get blurry from the tears that starting to spill out. She slid down to the floor and broke down crying.
She knew there was no way that she was going to be able to have this baby. She was only eighteen years old, four months shy of graduating high school if she could stay in long enough. Her and the baby’s father weren’t even on good terms.
Marisa opened the bathroom door and shook her head at the sight of her best friend. She sat down on the floor beside her and held her in her arms while she cried.
“It‘s okay Nadi, everything is going to be okay,” Marisa assured her.
“I can‘t keep it, I just can‘t.” Nadia cried.
Marisa didn‘t want Nadia to get an abortion, but she understood that she had to do what she felt was right. No matter what she was going to be by her side.
“You know I‘m here for whatever you chose to do. We‘ll get through this together.”
___
Marisa walked into Chipotle in search of Jax. She wasn‘t necessarily hungry, but this is where he wanted to meet her, so she showed up. When he called her, she had a mind to send his call straight to voicemail like he had been doing her, but she remembered the talk she and Nadia had.
When Jax looked up to see her walking in his direction, he stood up to hug her. Marisa stood there as he wrapped his arms around her, refusing to hug him back.
“You don‘t have to act like that.” He told her.
“What’s up Jamil?” She asked as she sat down. “We can skip the pleasantries and all that other bull. Just keep it real with me and tell me what it is. Is there somebody else? Are we together? Am I the side bitch? What, let me know something.”
Jax sat back and looked at her. “Marisa cut that shit out, you know good and damn well I got love for you. Just because I don‘t want us to put a title or label on what we have doesn‘t mean anything. There‘s nobody else.”
Jax felt like shit. He so badly wanted to tell her about Jessica and Jamila, but he didn‘t want to lose her. He wasn‘t lying when he said he had love for her. Hell, he thought he might actually be in love with her, and he just couldn‘t see himself hurting her like that.
Marisa sat there and looked at him through squinted eyes. She was finding it very hard to believe what he was saying. “Your mouth is saying one thing, but your actions are showing me differently. One minute you‘re all in my face, but the next minute you‘re ignoring me and dodging my calls. I understand the fact that you‘re a man, and you need your space, but that weeks at a time thing? I‘m not with that shit. So if you‘re out here doing you please let me know so I can do me also.”
“Alright Marisa, I get it okay. I‘m not out here doing shit, but getting money. You know what I‘m into, so you know how focused I have to be. You know what happened to my cousin, so we‘ve been making sure we don‘t run into any more of those problems. I promise right here and right now to do better and spend more time with you,” Jax said.
Something in him was telling him to come clean with her about Jamila and Jessica, but she was already talking out the side of her neck about doing her and he‘d be damned if he allowed that to happen. He knew he was probably being selfish, but he wasn‘t going for that.
Marisa sat quietly biting the inside of her lip. She had a feeling that Jax was feeding her some bullshit just to appease her. She knew he was hiding something, but she didn‘t know what it was. She was going to sit back and see how all this would play out because although she had feelings for Jax, she wasn‘t going to continue to come second in his life.
-20-
Nadia sat staring at the building she would be soon walking into. This wasn‘t the easiest thing for her to do, but she knew it was the best thing for her to do. She refused to bring a baby into this world when she didn‘t have her life together. Not only her, but Mario also. Since he wanted to live his life dangerously and in the fast lane she was not going to allow her baby to possibly end up fatherless because of his lifestyle.
She sighed and got out of the car. Walking into the clinic she gave them her name to check in for her appointment. She nervously looked around at all the other females in attendance. They ranged from all different ages. Some even looked younger than her. She looked up when she heard footsteps coming her way. She was shocked to see Neeman and even more shocked to see Marisa behind him.
“What are y‘all doing here?” She asked.
“Girl bye, you‘re our sister. Did you really think I was going to let you go through this by yourself?” Marisa asked.
She turned to look at her brother who had a blank expression on his face.
“Nemo?”
“Look, Nadia, you‘re my baby so you know I love you and would do anything for you. I know you would do the same for me. If you‘re doing this because me and that nigga are at odds, then we can leave right now. I don‘t want you to have a baby this young, but at the same time I don‘t want you to feel like you‘re obligated to do this because of our beef,” Neeman explained.
Hearing her brother say that made her heart smile.
“Don‘t worry Nemo, I‘m not doing it for that reason. I thought about it, trust me I did, but I‘m doing this for me. I know I‘m not ready to have this baby and even though I hate this it’s what it all comes down to, it‘s something I have to do.”
Neeman just nodded his head at his sister before kissing her forehead. When Marisa told him about Nadia being pregnant and her appointment for the abortion, he didn‘t know how to feel. This was his baby that he had watched grow into a beautiful young woman. He refused to let his sister go through this by herself so he had Marisa pick him up so they could be there for her.
“Nadia Freeman.”
Nadia’s heartbeat sped up as she stood when she heard her name called. She looked back at her brother and sister for reassurance, and they told her that they were there for her. Nodding her head she walked to the back to get the abortion.
Neeman sat there with his head in his hand as he thought about what was actually going on. At times like this he wished that his mom was around to give her advice and some guidance. He was the oldest now, so it was his job to make sure Nadia and Nyzir were straight. In a way, he felt as if he had jus
t failed his sister. He had her back regardless of what choice she would have made, but he felt as if he could have sat down and talked to her real good and made sure this is really what she wanted.
“She‘s going to be okay Nemo, stop stressing,” Marisa told him.
“I know, but damn,” Neeman shook his head.
“You know she wouldn‘t be doing this if she really didn‘t think this was the best decision for her.”
“You‘re right, do he know?” He asked.
“No, she didn‘t tell him about the baby. She didn‘t want him to know. From my understanding they‘re not even on good terms,” Marisa explained.
Neeman just shook his head again. After what seemed like forever, Nadia walked out with a tear stained face. She was well aware that this decision would probably come back to haunt her later on down the line. Marisa took her best friend into her arms and held her tightly.
“Everything is going to be okay Nadi. You‘re a strong girl, and I admire that about you. You know I love you, cry baby,” Marisa joked to make her smile.
Nadia laughed through the tears. “I love you too.”
“Well, I love the both of you more,” Neeman spoke. “Come on y‘all, let‘s go so big bro can make everything better.”
When they got to the house, Neeman helped Nadia upstairs to her room. He made sure she was comfortable in bed before leaving to fix her something to eat. Nadia closed her eyes and said a silent prayer asking God to forgive her and for him to give her the strength to get through this.
She opened her eyes when she heard her door opening. She looked up to see Nyzir walking into the room. She smiled at him. Her brothers were really the highlight of her life.
“Nadi, you okay?” Nyzir asked as he climbed in bed with his big sister.
“Yeah baby, boy, I‘m fine. What‘s up with you handsome?”
“Nothing, I lay with you?” He asked.
“Of course, you can.”
Nadia knew that no matter what, she could always count on her brothers and Marisa to be there for her. Most of the time, Nyzir didn‘t even know what was going on, but just his presence always made her feel better. She knew her mother was looking down on them with a big smile on her face.
It wasn‘t easy dealing with the fact that their mother was gone, but the three siblings were trying their best to make it. They got weary often and didn‘t know what to do, but they would stop to think about what would Nicole tell them to do or what advice would she give.
-21-
In the weeks after the abortion, Nadia put her focus back on school. Graduation was quickly approaching, and she vowed not to let anything or anyone else get in the way of her studies. She guessed that beat down she gave Nisha must have knocked some sense into her. Whenever she saw Nadia, she would speed past her and refuse to look her way. Nadia didn‘t care though. That was just one less problem on her list.
She had been talking with her brothers about her going off to college in a different state. She really had fears of leaving them, especially Neeman because she didn‘t want him getting into any more trouble. Of course, Neeman told her there was no more going back to jail or prison for him, but he had her back for whatever choice she made.
It had been over a month since the last time Mario had seen or spoken to Nadia. He would be lying if he said he didn‘t feel some type of way, but he wasn‘t going to chase her. When she walked out of his front door, he knew he had to dead any thoughts he had about them being together. She said she wanted nothing to do with him, so he had to respect that.
He was always told there were plenty more fish in the sea, so he took that into consideration. He wasn‘t the type to sit in the house depressed behind a female. Nadia had made it very clear that she didn‘t want him, so it was on to the next one. He didn‘t have time to think about or dwell on what ifs. He was more worried about his money.
Marisa and Jax’s relationship had changed drastically. He had really shocked Marisa with his actions. Not only was he spending more time with her, but he was also spending more money on her. He had replaced her little Kia with a Benz. Every time she turned around he had a surprise for her. She had to tell him to slow it down though because she wasn‘t with him because of his money.
Jax was listening to everything Marisa had been trying to tell him. She didn‘t want or need his money. She just wanted him and his time. He gave her that and some. The car and gifts were just a bonus to show her that he appreciated her. He had finally told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her. Since then, they had been on cloud nine.
He had even introduced her to Jamila. At first, Jamila was a little shy, but Marisa had brought her out of that. Now those two were inseparable whenever they were around each other. He still had yet to tell her about Jessica though. He told her that Jamila’s mother had dropped her off at her grandmother’s house and never looked back. He hated to lie to her, but he still didn‘t know how to tell her about Jessica coming home. That was a bridge he wasn‘t trying to cross any time soon.
-22-
Nadia stood with sweaty hands as she rubbed them together. This is it she thought before taking a deep breath.
“Nadia Freeman.”
She smiled brightly as the audience went wild as she walked across the stage to receive her diploma. This was such a very bittersweet moment for her. Even though her brothers, best friend, and Godmother were there, it didn‘t feel right without her mother. Nadia knew she was there in spirit, but it still wasn‘t the same.
Knowing her mom wouldn’t want her to be sad on this joyous day, Nadia held back the tears and put a smile on her face.
“We did it, mommy.” She whispered as she took her seat.
When they called Marisa’s name, Nadia yelled and clapped for her. It was official. Her and her best friend were officially high school graduates. After the commencement was finished, the ladies walked outside hand in hand in search of their family.
“We did it boo,” Marisa gushed. “We are now ready to take the next step in our life.”
“I know you right. We may have had some bumps in the road, but regardless of that we made it,” Nadia smiled.
They spotted Raelynn and headed in her direction. Raelynn already had her phone or ready to take some pictures.
“My babies, I’m so proud of you two.”
“Thank you Mama.” They said simultaneously.
“We’re proud of you too,” Nadia heard from behind her.
She turned to see her brothers standing there with Jason and a face she hadn’t seen in years.
“JARONNNN!” She yelled as she ran to him and jumped in his arms.
He laughed as he hugged her tightly. “If I didn’t know better, I would think that you missed me,” he joked.
“What? Of course, I missed you, dude! I like how you and Nemo just get out and not tell anybody you’re coming home,” Nadia said.
“You ever heard of a surprise knucklehead?” Jaron asked as he handed her some balloons and flowers.
“Thank you, I’m so happy you’re home. We kind of lost touch lately,” Nadia said.
She was feeling bad because she knew them falling off and losing touch was mostly her fault. First, she was dealing with the loss of her mother and she was dealing with her crazy feelings for Mario. With all that, she ended up neglecting Jaron in the process. Even though they had broken up long before he got locked up, the two had kept a pretty good friendship that Nadia never wanted to lose.
“Yeah, we did, but it’s cool. I’m home now, so we have a lot to catch up on.”
“Of course we do,” Nadia smiled.
“Okay, come on y’all. I need some pictures so huddle together and act like y’all like each other,” Raelynn joked.
“Yeah Reese, act like you like me,” Jason whispered in Marisa’s ear.
Marisa looked back at him and smiled. It was something about him that always made her feel like a little girl. Every time he was around her she turned into putty, and she hated it. The two
of them had never really got a chance to act out on their feelings for each other because they were too busy sneaking around and trying to be discreet. Then she met Jax, so Jason kind of got pushed to the back of her mind.
After taking what seemed like a hundred pictures, Marisa looked around for Jax. She noticed him leaned up against his car watching her with Mario to the left of him hugged up with some female she had never seen before. She turned her head and locked eyes with Nadia, who had already peeped it. Nadia shrugged her shoulder at Marisa and turned her head.
“Here big head,” Neeman said to Marisa.
“What’s this?” Marisa asked as she took the thick envelope in her hand.
“Just a little graduation gift for my other annoying ass little sister, Neeman laughed.
“Aww, you are the best brother ever.” Marisa smiled as she hugged him tightly.
Marisa was an only child, so she Nadia, Nyzir, and Neeman were the only siblings she really had. You couldn’t tell that neither one of them that they weren’t blood related.
“Reese!” Marisa heard from behind her.
She turned to see Jamila running towards her with some flowers in her hand. She bent down and swooped her little body up in her arms.
“Hey little lady, how are you?” Marisa asked.
“I’m fine, these are for you,” Jamila said as she handed her the flowers. “I saw you on the stage.”
“Aww, thank you sugar plum. These are beautiful.”
“Daddy said you would like them. I picked them out,” Jamila smiled.
“You did good,” Marisa told her as she kissed her cheek.
“Can I get some love?” Jax asked as he walked up.
Marisa leaned in, pulled him into a hug with her free arm and kissed him on the lips.
“Eww,” Jamila giggled as she covered her eyes. “Daddy got the cooties.”
Love Don't Live Here Page 9
