by Jake Bible
Then, as the suns hit noon, Nardo glided for a couple of miles and began to descend to a high mountain valley that lay at the base of the poorly hidden Jackal Mountain. He circled the valley a few times then came in for a landing next to a large tent and campfire.
The rest of our long lost party came rushing out, cheering and clapping.
“Alive!” Ming cried.
“Dudes! You made it!” Coz shouted.
“Yeah!” Kip bellowed then pumped his fist in the air and whooped.
Nardo crouched low so we could easily slide off his back then said, “Gonna go find some unlucky deer or elk to murder and eat. Be right back.”
“Bro loves his elk,” Holo said as the dragon lifted off and was quickly lost from sight, moving at a speed he hadn’t even come close to while transporting us to our friends.
Hugs all around and we started in on our respective stories.
I told most of Sandra’s and mine while she set about taking an inventory of what remained in her pouches. Every once in a while, she’d hurry off to go pick a mountain flower or pluck a leaf from a bush. When she’d come back, she’d give me a bright smile. It was the happiest I’d seen her in a while, so I returned the smile without a thought.
Then I noticed the others staring at us, knowing looks on their faces.
“What?” I asked.
“You guys are so a thing, dude,” Coz said.
“Yeah,” Kip agreed.
“It is nice to see romance bud in such arduous times,” Ming said.
I was about to do that guy thing and dispute what they were saying, and seeing, but it hit me that there was absolutely zero reason to be that guy. Having someone like Sandra had been all I’d dreamed about back in the real world while I sat staring out my high-rise windows, my fifth glass of whiskey in my hand.
“Yep,” I said and left it at that.
“Cool,” Coz said.
“Yeah,” Kip said.
“My bro’s getting him some,” Holo said.
“Oh, sweet Jesus,” I said.
“Yes, he is getting him some,” Sandra said. “And I’m getting me some, but both our somes are none of your business so stop being crude little adolescents about it and move on.”
“I like this Sandra,” Coz said.
“She is right, though,” Ming said. “We should move on from the amorous affections of two of our party and discuss the remainder of our quest.”
“You didn’t tell us where you guys ended up,” I said.
“There is nothing of significance to tell, Steve,” Ming replied. “We ran and kept running. Eventually, we found ourselves climbing up to this valley. We have been waiting here, hoping you would discover us so we could continue.”
“That’s it?” I asked and looked to Coz for confirmation.
“Pretty much, dude,” Coz said. “We fought a banshee at one point and hid from some pretentious elves, but other than that, we’ve been camping it up in this place.”
“Yeah,” Kip said.
“Any sign of Trish?” I asked.
“What?” Coz snapped. “Why would there be any sign of Trish?” He turned on Sandra. “Didn’t you tell him what happened?”
“Hey, back off,” I said. “She told me. She also told me that you had to pick up Kip and get him out of that village before the undead centaurs killed you. While you were doing that, did you put a blade through Trish’s head to keep her from coming back?”
That killed the mood. The happy reunion was over.
“Jesus Christ,” I said. “Have none of you thought about that?”
“No,” Coz admitted. “I’ve been avoiding thinking about Trish, to be honest.”
He sat on the ground and shook his head.
“Shit,” he said. “We messed up. The least we could have done was make sure she didn’t rise again.”
“That’s not what I was saying at all,” I said. “It was all a mess. I was only asking if you encountered her again. She’s an Othersider like us. That could mean she’s as powerful as Jeremy and just as much of a problem.”
Again with the mood shift.
“Oh, my,” Ming said. “That would not be a great scenario.”
“You never said anything about that to me?” Sandra said. “If you thought that was possible, then we should have talked about it.”
“I just thought of it right now,” I admitted. “Seeing everyone here, dealing with Jeremy and his undead army back there, and the thought of finishing the quest shook the idea loose.”
“But you felt the need to bum us out like we’d dropped the ball?” Coz said. “Not cool, dude.”
“Bros, chill,” Holo said. “All this shit is so much bigger than us.” He looked at Ming. “Your granddad bro, the guy that created Bubby, was some sort of magical adept. Shit you not, bro. You have no clue what is going down.”
Everyone stared at Holo.
“You gonna let us in on it, dude?” Coz asked.
“Huh? Oh, shit no,” Holo said. “Bubby is the one that has to let that cat out of the bag.”
“Then stop teasing us,” Coz said. “Really, dude, knock it the hell off or I’m gonna beat your canine ass.”
“The quest,” Ming interrupted. “Can we please get back to the quest?”
“Okay, okay, I can tell you one thing,” Holo said, basically hopping from foot to foot with excitement to spill some partial beans. “Bubby, and this is gonna blow your minds, but Bubby is going to take the Creator on. Totally head-to-head fight. Is that not the coolest thing you’ve ever heard, bros?”
“No, dude,” Coz said. “That is downright terrifying. Do you know what would happen if an NPC tried to fight the basic framework of programming this Domain is built on? Catastrophic!”
“Yeah,” Kip said, sounding genuinely scared.
Not being a programmer, I raised my hand. “Catastrophic how?”
Ming cleared his throat. “There is no Creator,” he said. “Bubby is only playing up her role in this quest. While I do not believe it is part of the Saga of the Lich King module, it does add some drama and urgency to what we must do. Nothing more.”
“Believe me or not, bros,” Holo said and shrugged his shoulders then gave his tail a wag. “You’ll see soon enough.”
“I am going to ignore the hyperbole,” Ming said. “Let us focus on the—”
He didn’t get to finish.
There was a ground-shaking roar then Nardo was calling out, “Bros! We have got to go! Like now!”
He landed only a few feet from us, the wind from his wings knocking over the tent and instantly putting out the campfire.
“You got your weapons on ya?” he asked. “I hope so because you need to climb onto my back so we can take off, pronto!”
“What’s up, bro?” Holo asked, not even hesitating as he clambered up Nardo’s scales and perched himself at the base of the dragon’s neck.
“Trolls, bro,” Nardo said.
“Trolls? How many?” Ming asked.
“All of them,” Nardo said, his dragon eyes wide. “I am talking every single troll clan in EverRealm is heading this way and fast.”
“Why?” Coz asked.
Nardo shrugged.
“Because we called them,” Sandra said. “They were going to help us and the river troll clan fight the undead army, but they were too late.”
“Shit,” I said as I realized what had happened. “They must have gotten there just as Nardo torched the forest. They think we killed the river clan!”
Then the sound of war drums met our ears and none of us hesitated. We were up and on Nardo’s back faster than teenagers racing to call shotgun.
Thirty-Six
As we flew off, I looked back to see a wave of troll clans marching over the ridge that led into the mountain valley we’d just retreated from. Quite a few of the trolls saw us and began throwing spears. Although we were well out of range, some of those spears travelled at least a quarter mile before dropping back to earth.
“
We’re gonna have a reckoning with that crowd when we’re all done with this quest,” Coz said, seeming to voice what everyone was thinking. “Any suggestions?”
“Oh, they won’t be the problem we’ll be worrying about,” Holo said.
“Holo! Shut up!” I shouted and my best friend during the entire undead apocalypse actually cringed at the sound of my voice. Shit. I’m an ass. “I’m sorry, man. I’m not mad at you.”
“No, it’s cool, bro,” he said. “I am playing it up a bit. I’ll chill.”
“Alright, so here’s the thing, bros,” Nardo called back over his shoulder at us, oblivious to what was happening on his back. “I can get you close, but I can’t drop you at the summit or anything. See that swirling mass of clouds? No good for my kind. That shit’s like acid rain.”
“Whoa, then what is it going to do to us?” Coz asked.
“Oh, you bros will be fine,” Nardo said. “You’re Othersiders. It won’t hurt you. May make you trip out and hallucinate a little, if your minds are predisposed to that kind of psychedelic shit, but otherwise, you’ll be good.”
“How close can you deliver us, noble dragon?” Ming asked.
“Noble dragon,” Nardo echoed and snorted hard enough that he sent fire shooting out of his nostrils. “That’s funny.”
“I am glad I amuse you,” Ming said. “But, again, I must ask how close will we be delivered?”
“Close enough, bros,” Nardo said then put on some speed and raced us towards the black cloud-shrouded mountain peak.
He took us just under where the clouds obscured the top of Jackal Mountain and set us down on a large outcropping. My knees were shaking as I got down off his back, the edge of the outcropping sickeningly close. I’d gotten over my thing with heights back in the real world, but we were talking some Mt. Everest shit. That would make anyone a little woogity in the legs.
With everyone off Nardo’s back, the dragon gave us a smile and a wink then was gone, flying back the way we came.
“He’s not going to wait for us?” Coz asked.
“Nah, bro,” Holo said. “He’s gonna go square things with the troll clans. He was the bro that set fire to the forest, so maybe he can convince them to let bygones be bygones and not come after Sandra and Steve.”
Sandra was about to say something, but she shook her head, took a deep breath, and turned to the single, winding trail that led from the outcropping and up into the black clouds above us.
“We should go,” she said. “If we are lucky, we can get the Jewel of Rising and destroy it before Jeremy arrives.”
She started hiking and there was nothing we could do but follow her.
Thirty minutes into our trudging up the trail, Coz held up a hand and sat down on a greasy-looking rock.
“Gotta take a break,” he said, mopping the sweat from his face with a rag. “This air is killing me.”
He was right. Once we’d started hiking into the black cloud, breathing was no longer the fun pastime it had been for all of our lives. I had to fight not to hold my breath, so I could keep the dank nasty stuff out of my lungs.
“Is anyone experiencing hallucinations?” Ming asked, sucking on his asthma rag. “I for one am not seeing anything out of the ordinary.”
“I’m fine,” Sandra said.
“All good, bro,” Holo said.
“No trippy visions here,” I said.
Kip didn’t answer. He was trying to snatch something invisible to us from the air.
“Kip? Dude? What are you seeing?” Coz asked.
“Butterflies,” Kip said. “Need to catch the butterflies so I can talk to the Universe.”
“We have a winner,” I said.
“Hold on,” Sandra said and dug around in a pouch. She came out with a bright yellow mushroom cap. “Kip, eat this.”
“I’m no expert, but won’t taking shrooms add to the problem?” Coz asked.
“No,” Sandra said. “And this species is not psychotropic. It counters the effects of those type of fungi.”
“Who doesn’t have two thumbs and likes to party?” Holo said. “This fun guy! Get it? Fungi, fun guy?”
We didn’t even give him the satisfaction of a pained groan.
“Eat this, Kip,” Sandra said and held out the mushroom cap. Kip eyed it warily. “It’s a butterfly.”
He snatched it up and devoured it in one bite. Then his eyes closed, he coughed a few times, and fell on his knees.
“Kip?” Coz asked.
“He’ll be fine,” Sandra said.
He was. He opened his eyes, shook his head, and stood back up.
“You good, dude?” Coz asked.
“Yeah,” Kip replied.
“Let us continue,” Ming said and led the way up the trail, taking Sandra’s place.
We walked another twenty minutes, gasping most of the way, then the ground began to level out and we found ourselves standing at the mouth of a great cave. It was dark as shit in there, and I could hear a long, low whistling-like wind blowing from somewhere inside.
Then a gust hit us, like a stinky breath, and we each took a couple steps back.
“Oh, hell no,” Holo said and started to turn around.
I grabbed his tail and yanked him back. “What happened to your inside knowledge?”
“Bro, you can’t smell what I can smell,” he replied. “Be glad you have those weak-ass human noses and not my superior canine sniffer.”
“It smells like death,” Sandra said. “Like the rot of a hundred bodies.”
“I was gonna say it smells like pork gone off, but that covers it too,” Coz said.
“We do not have a choice in the matter,” Ming said. “We enter the cave and retrieve the Jewel of Rising before Jeremy does or all is lost.”
“Dammit,” Holo muttered.
“Best not to hesitate,” Ming said and walked into the cave.
We followed reluctantly behind him.
His staff appeared and he held it up so that the tip glowed and lit our way.
Inside, it was damp and stank even worse. The way was wide and open, a huge cavern of a space, but the floor of the cavern was littered with bones from probably every creature that existed in EverRealm. We had to pick our footing carefully or we’d slip on a bone and fall flat on our faces.
Coz took out his knives and Sandra pulled her dagger. Kip’s hands started up with his battle spots or orbs or whatever they were. Holo kept his body low to the ground and his teeth bared. That left me.
I drew the Dark Blade and the entire cavern was lit up ten times what Ming’s staff was able to do. The flames on the blade were bigger and brighter than they had been back down in the river valley.
“Damn, dude,” Coz said. “You’ve gotten the hang of that thing.”
Sandra looked at me, puzzled. I shrugged and said, “Tell ya later.”
Last she knew, I’d lost the sword.
The great cavern began to slowly narrow until we were walking side by side, the cave becoming a tunnel which became a narrow passageway.
“Good place for an ambush,” Coz whispered.
“Yes, quite,” Ming said and glanced back at me. “Steve? Would you care to lead us with your flaming sword?”
“I’d rather not,” I said. “You’re doing a great job, Ming.”
“Steve,” Sandra snapped.
“Fine, fine, I’ll take point,” I said and pushed past the others to the front of the line. “Everyone happy now?”
“Yep,” Coz said.
“Yeah,” Kip said.
“Totally, bro,” Holo said.
“Screw you guys,” I replied and kept moving.
The passageway twisted and turned until we came upon a chamber made completely of obsidian. Either that or it hadn’t been dusted in a really, really long time.
In the center of the room was a pedestal. On that pedestal was a jewel the size of a grapefruit. Behind that jewel stood a man in purple robes with gold stars on them. He looked like Mickey Mouse’s Sorcerer�
�s Apprentice hat had been created into a full body ensemble.
“Welcome, adventurers!” the man in the purple robes called to us. “I am the Creator! I congratulate you on completing your journey! It is unfortunate you now must die in order to maintain the stability of this game!”
Then he shot some lightning bolts from his fingers and all hell broke loose.
Thirty-Seven
I dove to the ground with Sandra landing on top of me. Coz went one way, Kip the other, and Holo flopped down onto his belly, his front paws covering his head.
Only Ming stayed standing.
“You do not frighten us, fraud!” Ming yelled as he held his staff in front of him and let the magical stick absorb the magical lightning. It did a pretty damn good job of it. “How dare you insult my family honor by declaring yourself the Creator!”
“But I am the Creator!” the Creator bellowed. “And if you do not know me, then you are not of my lineage! You are the fraud here!”
“Oh, shut up, Harold!” a voice cried from a dark corner.
I looked up, barely able to see through Sandra’s fingers which were wrapped around my face.
“Dark Enforcer!” the Creator shouted. “Of course, only you would have the foolhardiness to… did you call me Harold?”
“That’s your name,” the Dark Enforcer said and my ears perked up.
The Dark Enforcer didn’t sound like the Dark Enforcer anymore. I noticed the voice change back at the river, but it wasn’t as pronounced as it was in that chamber. It sounded like…
“Bubby?” Ming asked as the Dark Enforcer morphed into the form of Ming’s bubby. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be able to leave the tower.”
“Oh, Paulie Boy,” Bubby said. “I love you, child, but get a clue, will ya? You don’t know the first thing about this place and how things work.”
“Told ya,” Holo said, coming up out of his crouch, his tail wagging. “Hey, Bubs.”
“Holo, dear,” Bubby said. “Sorry, but I did not bring any treats with me.”
“S’all good,” Holo said. “Just glad you’re here now to take care of this purple turkey.”
