“That’s all you’ll ever get from me. That’s all that’s left. Had you stayed, we could have tried. I would have given you my best shot. I’m a Marine. I fight to the end. You broke that in me when you ran. I don’t want to fight for anything anymore—especially my own heart. It’s dead. I’m dead.”
She didn’t know what to say.
How was she supposed to tell him that she was afraid of letting anyone in? That’s the reason she had meaningless one-night stands.
Now it was different.
Now she had a secret.
“I’ll save you from this monster chasing you, Roxy, but this time, I’ll be the one walking away. Only there won’t be a note. There won’t be a reason. You have to deal with wondering what’s so bad about you that you weren’t worthy of a shot. You’ll get to wonder why you’re unlovable and someone can break you without even batting an eyelash.”
Oh, that was the story of her whole life. He just didn’t know it. That was EXACTLY why she’d done what she’d done. She ran to save him from the mess that was her life.
Maybe she should tell him.
“Jagger.”
“Shut up, Roxy. Just shut up. I’m going to get my things, and I’m going to make sure you stay awake. In the morning, I’ll go out on patrol to keep you safe here, but I’m never giving you a shot again. You burned that bridge. You broke me.”
He didn’t know why he was telling her all of this.
He didn’t know why the words were gushing out, refusing to stay locked in his heart. Jagger wasn’t an emotional kind of guy, but she brought it out in him.
Damn her!
Damn her to hell for making him love her.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter. Gently, he held it in his fingers. “You can have this back. I won’t write you one. You can live with your own words—just flip our names. The feeling is the same. I loved you so much. I would have died for you.”
He dropped it on the bed and walked away.
Roxy picked up the note, and she already knew what it was. She’d written it out of desperation to save him and herself. Roxy didn’t want to hurt him.
She tried to save him.
Her heart ached.
When she’d written that, she didn’t know what she was going to do. The entire time she’d thought about escaping, she wanted to stay. She wanted to have what everyone else did, but she didn’t believe love really existed.
It was words.
It was a made up holiday.
It wasn’t for her.
Then he came into her life.
Jagger knocked her off her feet.
The red hair, the tattoos, and the chaos that was Jagger nearly brought her to her knees. Correction—it did bring her to her knees.
She loved him.
And now she was having his child.
Folding the paper, she let the pain come. She deserved everything he’d said to her. She had been a chicken. She had run, and it had hurt him.
It was horrible, and it was wrong.
Only, she couldn’t take it back.
Her life…it was a mess.
How many times had she done this to someone? She left Silas all the time. She walked away from her grandfather and broke his heart more times than she could count.
She’d walked away from Bishop when she needed her most. Her best friend had been recovering from nearly dying, and as soon as the coast was clear, she ran.
She was a horrible human being.
When she fell for Jagger, she could have stayed and trusted him, but instead, she let fear win. She let fear break her, and it had damaged any chance she had with him.
That bridge was burned.
It was over.
Well, she needed to come clean.
It was time to be honest about as much of it as she could. Jagger deserved to know. He didn’t want anything to do with her, but he still had every right to know what they’d made between them. They’d made a life out of love.
Climbing out of bed, she quickly changed her clothes. If she was going to go head to head with the man, she needed to have something to make her feel better.
This would.
When she headed out to the living room, she found him standing there setting up some laptops, a few cameras on the outer door, and some sensors.
“Over kill?” she asked.
He glanced over. “I see you ditched my t-shirt. Couldn’t wait to get rid of that too?” he asked sarcastically.
“I sleep in it all the time. It’s all I had left to remember you, Jagger.”
He didn’t turn around.
He refused.
Her words wouldn’t make him forgive her. He was so angry at her, at Avalon, and at the team. They all knew. Jagger had been doing this long enough to know that Maura would be in on it, and so would Nate. Luke was likely the only one who hadn’t had a hand in instrumenting this ambush—simply because he’d be the voice of reason.
Jagger was three days past pissed.
“Can I say something to you?” she asked.
“No.”
Okay, that wasn’t the answer she’d been expecting from him. When he said he was mad, he really meant it, and she didn’t blame him at all.
“Well, it has to be said.”
He didn’t reply.
“When I arrived in Happy, I had a big decision to make. I was between two choices, and until this very moment, I hadn’t made up my mind.”
He kept setting up their gear, refusing to look at her. If he did, he’d crawl on his knees to get her to love him. He’d do anything for her, and he knew it. This woman controlled his life, and he hated every fucking second of it.
She was pacing. From his peripheral, he could see Roxy, and his heart ached. Love sucked.
Here was the proof.
Damn!
She looked beautiful. She wasn’t wearing makeup, her hair was all mussed up, and she was standing there in sweats. She was a puzzle, and he couldn’t figure her out. She was rich, entitled, and a runner.
Why did that even appeal to him?
She reminded him of a world he swore never to tread into again. He’d been rich. He’d seen his father hurt people.
Still…
Jagger felt this overwhelming need to protect her, and he didn’t get why. He wanted to wrap himself around her and forget about anything but them. Jagger wanted to feel love.
He wanted to love her.
“When I arrived here, I found out that I was pregnant.”
He actually dropped his tablet and turned around.
“WHAT?”
She kept going. There was no point pulling punches now that the cat was out of the bag. “I didn’t know when I left you, and had I, then I’d like to say I would have stayed. For the last month, I’ve been trying to figure out if I was keeping this baby, or ending its life.”
He stared at her.
“Wait. You’re having a baby?”
“I’m not telling you so you forgive me. I’m simply telling you because you have the right to know.”
“I’m the father?”
She stared at him. “You’re the only person I’ve had sex with since you rolled into town, Marine. So unless I’m the next ‘not so Virgin Mary’, then yes, you’re the father.”
He stared at her.
Then he stared at her midsection.
His heart skipped.
Damn!
He knew going in bare was going to be the end of him. This was exactly why he didn’t do it. The first time in twenty years that he’d been careless, and he’d knocked a woman up.
Shit!
“I was going to end this child’s life, but that’s the easy way out. You were right. I ran, and I left because I could. This child won’t suffer because I made a mistake. I’m going to have this baby and I’m going to make sure he or she has a beautiful shot at life.”
He stared at her.
He was going to be a father.
“What do you want from me, Roxy?” he asked.
>
She stared at him. “I want nothing from you, Jagger. You said all you had to say to me in that bedroom. You hate me. You loathe what I did. You don’t want to understand why I did it, but only that I did it. I can’t make you forgive me, and I can’t ask you to be part of this child’s life. I will take full responsibility for our actions, and I’ll make sure I step up. I’m done running—for this baby, and for me. I’m done.”
“What are you saying?” he stated.
“You’re free, Jagger. I’ll keep this a secret. I won’t tell anyone who the father is, and I won’t make you be part of his or her life. This was my mistake. This is my job, and until now, I wasn’t up for the task. Having this conversation with you was very enlightening. My actions have repercussions, and I can’t always run. I’m going to raise my baby.”
He wanted to rage around the room.
She didn’t want him in his child’s life?
What?
Was that how she saw him?
“Roxy.”
“No, Jagger. You said it all. You hate me. Well, then you hate what we made. I’m going to be a mother, and I’m going to survive whatever is chasing me. You’re free. When this is over, you can leave. You handed me the note, and the words are said. There’s no forgiveness for either of us.”
He didn’t have words.
“Know what’s even tougher than a Marine, Jagger?”
“What?”
“A mother. I’m going to be badass, and I’m going to learn from my mistakes. I hope one day, you learn from yours. My child is going to only know love. That’s what this little life deserves, and I’ll make sure that’s all he or she gets.”
With that, she turned and headed back into her room.
When the door slammed, he sat down.
Well, this had gone from bad to worse. Had she told him she was pregnant when she saw him, he might have kept his big mouth shut.
Now he’d lost Roxy and his child because he’d been pissed.
Seriously.
Screw you, fate.
Screw you.
Chapter Four
Thursday Morning
They met in town. There was a tiny coffee shop not far from the center of everything, and it was the perfect place to meet. They needed to get their shit together before confronting Roxy.
They only hoped that Jagger hadn’t done anything out of control over the night. Nate and Luke had sent texts.
No reply.
Maura had called.
Nada.
Either he and Roxy had killed each other or they were having copious amounts of sex. The whole team was hoping for the latter.
As Bishop and Lucian Monroe entered the coffee shop, Avalon’s face lit up. “They’re here.”
Nate wasn’t sure how he felt about Avalon being so excited about seeing another man, but he was sucking it up.
For now.
“Hey, all,” stated Bishop as she strolled in holding her husband’s hand. The redheaded woman was smiling, and she genuinely looked happy. They were glad. She’d taken a bullet meant for her husband, but it appeared to have been all happy moments since then.
She was glowing, and Lucian was smiling.
“Hello, Everyone,” stated Lucian. He grinned over at Avalon. The woman would always have a special place in his heart. She was the reason he had found his way back to Bishop.
She lit the path for him.
“Can I have a hug?” she asked.
He opened his arms. When she went into them, he thanked her again. He would never be able to express his adoration and gratitude to these people. He owed them in a big way.
“Where’s the redheaded badass?” Bishop asked.
Avalon began using Lucian’s sight to help her see. That was another reason she enjoyed having him there.
“He’s with Roxy.”
“Oh.”
That said it all.
“So, she really is here?” Bishop asked. “And they’re together? Is that a good idea?”
It was clear that the woman hadn’t really talked to her ‘best friend’ in the two months she’d been MIA. Other than knowing where she was, that was it.
“Yeah, they’re together,” Avalon stated. “No one’s dead yet, so we’re on the right track.”
Bishop needed to forgive and forget. Her best friend bailed, and she needed to let that anger go. It was just Roxy being Roxy.
“I’m glad they’re together,” she admitted. It was true. The man might actually be good for her wild friend.
Lucian held out two fingers and ordered them coffees. As soon as the waitress headed off, they knew it was time to get down to business.
Nate was ready. While Lucian likely knew what they were up against, he wasn’t sure if Bishop had been vetted in on it.
“Let’s have a seat and get started,” stated Nate. He knew what was coming, and it was going to be one hell of a ride for all of them.
“We’re here because of a killer,” Avalon offered. “Thank you for helping us,” she said, directing it to Bishop. “Lucian and I are going to need everyone’s help with this killer. If we’re going to save Roxy and Jagger, it’s going to be a team effort.”
Bishop didn’t mind at all. “Since leaving the sheriff’s department, I’ve been bored.”
Lucian laughed. “Gee. Thanks.”
She kissed her husband. “We can’t have sex all day long every day.”
“We can try,” he teased, trying to break the ice.
“That’s my kind of boredom,” Luke stated, right before Maura gave him a wicked elbow to the ribs.
“Keep it up.”
He grinned through the pain.
“Anyway,” Bishop stated, “after you guys left, we were back from our honeymoon, and the husband had his cast off, it was boring as hell.”
They got it.
Once the case was solved, there was a shit storm directed right at Bishop. The media was pissed that it was one of their own, and they’d begun taking it out on her.
She’d been raked over the coals, accused of being a dirty cop to protect Lucian Monroe, and that she did a piss poor job of running the sheriff’s department. The heat had gotten so bad, that Silas had asked her to resign.
It was clear that Bishop didn’t mind. Family first was a good motto to have.
“I appreciate all the good words your team put in for me from the FBI,” she stated. “I know that leaving my job was a necessity.”
“We wished we could do more, Bishop,” stated Maura. “We barely got Avalon out of Ravenswood without her face all over the media. When a Fed goes down in the line, it’s newsworthy.”
They were well aware.
“Let’s talk case,” she stated, sipping the coffee the waitress put down. When the woman lingered, checking out her sexy husband, Bishop actually growled.
“MOVE or I’ll hurt you.”
The woman scurried away.
Lucian leaned over and gave her a kiss. “I love how territorial you are. When you’re going to piss on me to mark me, let me know. I want to put on rain gear.”
She snorted.
Bishop couldn’t stand the way people looked at Lucian. He was wearing an eyepatch, and there was one hell of a scar running from his forehead, through where his eye had been, and to his chin. He’d been a mess.
Now he was simply a sexy pirate.
“The case?” she stated. “Distract me or I’ll be kicking someone’s ass.”
“Now you sound like Maura,” Luke said, right before his wife gave him the look.
He restated it. “I was referring to my beautiful wife, who I love more than anything in the whole damn world.”
She snorted.
Avalon broke it down.
“In the static, Lucian and I both heard this one voice. It was a couple months ago.”
“When?” Nate asked.
“Right after the case,” Lucian offered. “When Avalon and I communicate, it’s in the static. It’s easier that way.”
Yeah, well, picking up a phone was easy too and less creepy, but who was he to judge. This was how they worked—apparently.
“Here’s what I know,” Avalon stated. “He’s been stalking women in their sleep. Last year, Happy had five deaths they couldn’t find causes for, and I believe it was our killer.”
“Can you be sure?” Bishop asked. “I don’t mean to be a skeptic, but we’re talking someone hanging out in people’s dreams. That’s weird.”
“You dreamt about your father last night. You told him about Lucian and asked if he was proud of you.”
“Okay, and now I’m creeped out.”
Maura laughed. “You have no idea. That’s a minor party trick. Wait until you hear her in your head and she’s nowhere near you.”
Bishop looked horrified. “Uh, pass.”
Avalon laughed. “Let’s focus, shall we? I’ll break out the tricks later.”
They settled down.
“This voice has claimed ownership of the deaths. That’s all I know, and what he did to Roxy last night.”
Bishop stared at her. “What did he do?”
She told her.
“Shit! That sucks.”
“We’re going to need her too. She’s a coroner. We’re going to make sure she’s involved in this.”
Nate agreed. “She’s our cover. She’s going to investigate the deaths like a normal coroner, and we’re going to lay low. We don’t need Avalon on the news.”
They all got it.
Last case was a little too close for comfort.
Bishop was staring at the woman.
“Just ask,” Avalon stated.
Well, if she really didn’t mind.
“I’m curious, and don’t take this the wrong way, Avalon, because I am damn grateful that you want me to help, but why do you need us? You’re Oracle. She’s badass.”
“His gift is something I can’t stop alone. It’s not that he’s so much stronger, but he’s got a unique talent I can’t hold back without assistance. With Lucian, we can double take him.”
“Double team,” Luke corrected.
“Thank you. You should wear blue more often, Luke. It matches your eyes.”
Nate knew she was using Lucian to see. A part of him hated that, but he wanted his fiancée to be happy. Since she’d picked a wedding date, and they were heading toward it, he wouldn’t rain on her parade.
Oracle Saving (The Phoenix Files Book 3) Page 8
