“What?” Nate answered.
“Where are we basing this fun fest? This is a one room bungalow. We can’t fit four couples here. That’s going to get…awkward when you pull out your handcuffs.”
Nate’s mouth dropped open. “I’m telling your brother on you, Maura. Wait until the next holiday dinner.”
Avalon began giggling. He was thinking about it. Better yet, he was picturing it, and that made her blush too.
Lucian raised his hand. “Why don’t you three go play Fed, you go hang out in a tree, and I’ll work on our accommodations? It’ll give me something to do.”
They were fine with that.
Nate tossed him the credit card and headed out. If Lucian wanted to play secretary, more power to him. Nate wanted to investigate.
That was his jam.
Luke watched his wife get into her gear. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on. Being married to GI Jane fueled all of his sexy fantasies. When she strapped on her third gun, he couldn’t help himself.
He kissed her.
She didn’t stop him.
When her arms went around his neck, they took that moment to just enjoy it. In their lives, you never knew when it would be your last day.
Releasing her mouth, he touched her cheek. “I love you, Maura. Be careful.”
“You do the same, Lucas. I’ll kick your ass if you get hurt.”
He didn’t doubt it.
Then again…
He held up the handcuffs that had been attached to his belt. When she nodded, he couldn’t help but grin.
Nate wasn’t going to be left out. He turned to Avalon and held her in his arms. “I’ll be back later. Please stay out of trouble and try not to play in the madman’s mind too much.”
She laughed. “I’ll try,” she offered, tugging him down to meet her mouth with his.
The kiss was soft, sweet, and very Avalon.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I’ll die loving you, Avi. You’re my soul mate.”
She gave him the words back because they were one hundred percent true. She’d found her other half.
“Oh brother,” Bishop said and was then tugged into her husband’s lap on the couch. “You are so lucky you look like a pirate. That’s the only reason I’ll tolerate this behavior.”
He grinned. “Have fun, be safe, and don’t take any bullets,” he demanded.
“Yes, Mom. You suck the fun out of my day.”
“I’ll make your night fun, I promise,” he whispered in her ear right before sealing his mouth over hers.
She wouldn’t argue with that.
When she broke free, she touched his lower lip with her thumb. “Be safe, Lucian.”
“I will, my love.”
They headed out.
When they were gone, Lucian wanted to get down to business. It was the least they could do until they had to sleep.
“I was rude before,” Avalon stated out of the blue.
Lucian glanced up. “How?”
“I’m using your eye to see. I should probably ask first, since it’s yours.”
He grinned. “You can use it anytime you want. You’re the reason I have my Bishop. It’s the least I can do.”
“Thank you, Lucian. I really appreciate it.”
He smiled.
“Let’s help them dig up some information on the dead women,” he offered, handing her a tablet.
She stared at it.
“I don’t know how.”
He had been in her mind too, and he understood. “I’ll show you, Avalon. We’ll surprise them,” he offered.
Her eyes filled with tears. “This is huge for me. I can’t thank you enough.”
He handed her a tissue. “Oh, Avalon, it’s the least I can do.”
And it absolutely was.
* * * O R A C L E * * *
In the bedroom, he made sure she was comfortable. From where he stood, he couldn’t help but wonder where this would take them.
They were having a baby together, but they were strangers. He didn’t want that to be the story of their lives. They’d done this backward. They met, had hot sex, made a child, and then…
Yeah, and then?
Where was this heading?
“You’re staring at me,” she stated.
“Sorry,” he said, forcing his gaze onto anything else but her. Jagger didn’t want to upset her.
Roxy was watching him. “I make you uncomfortable, don’t I?”
It was true. Jagger couldn’t tell if he was coming or going, and that had him all screwed up. Maybe if he could get his bearings with her, he’d figure it out.
“A little. I don’t want to make you mad so you run. I’m trying to handle this whole situation with kid gloves.”
She was sorry she’d hurt him.
“We should talk,” he stated.
“About?” she asked.
Yeah, like she didn’t know.
She had run from him to escape handling her feelings. Now she was having his baby, and she had the audacity to ask about what?
It was laughable, and she knew it.
“Us.”
“What about us?” she asked, trying not to sound like she was about to freak out. Truth be told, she was close to losing it. Few things in life could do that to her.
“I know what happened in your past.”
There.
He said it.
“I’m sorry, Roxy.”
She stared at him. “I would have told you. I mean, I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn’t do it. I feel like…”
“Lost?”
“Yeah, I feel really lost.”
He was still angry and hurt, but he knew that in order to be in his child’s life, he had to find a way to get rid of that anger.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked.
“I don’t know if I can. It was pretty horrible.”
He got that.
So, he did what he’d learned to do. He offered something in hope of getting something back. “My father was a mob boss in Boston. He ran the city with an iron fist.”
“Oh.”
“He was a horrible human being who killed people, lied, stole, and destroyed lives. My mother was one of those lives.”
She listened.
In all her wildest dreams, she didn’t ever think he would tell her about himself. What started as just sex, a quick morgue romp, had become…
Important.
“Go on.”
“I became a Marine to pay back what he’d done. I do what I do in atonement for his sins. They are mine to erase. He’s gone, and I’m his son. I have to pay those people back for what he did to them.”
“That’s noble of you.”
He shrugged. “I like to think it’s the decent thing to do in life. If you hurt someone, you fix it.”
She was touched by his honesty.
“May I come closer or will that upset you?” he asked.
“Yes, Jagger, I’d like that.”
He didn’t want to scare her. The last thing he wanted was for Roxy to think he’d hurt her. He wouldn’t.
He couldn’t.
He loved her.
Damn it!
The last two months didn’t erase that—not in the least. It was still there, and it was growing. Jagger was smart enough to know it.
“If you had a normal life, what would you be doing?” she asked as he settled beside her on the bed.
Jagger didn’t have to think about it. He and Avalon had just discussed this.
“I’d be a teacher. I loved literature. I’m a reader by nature. I love books.”
“What else would your life be like?” she asked, memorizing each detail he shared in case it was her last moments with him.
“I’d probably have two point five kids, a nice house in the ‘burbs, and a beautiful wife who loved me.”
She loved him.
God!
She wanted to shout it, but her past…
It damaged her.
“What about you, Roxy? What would your life be like if you could remake it and redo it?” he asked.
“I’d be a coroner.”
“And?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how to dream, Jagger. That part of me…it died so long ago. I used to dream every night after he’d leave my room that I’d escape it. I never did. It never went away.”
He listened. “It was brutal, wasn’t it?”
She nodded. “It made me who I am, and that’s why I had to leave. I’m damaged.”
“Had that never happened, what would have been your dream?” he asked. “What would you have wanted in your life.”
She didn’t have to think about it. It was staring her in the face.
Literally.
“I would have wanted a man who loved me, a family of my own, and a home to be proud of in life. I wouldn’t have wanted secrets, nightmares, or the horrible things that went bump in my night.”
He touched her knee.
“You would have been my dream. It would have been you, Jagger. If I was lucky enough to have one, it definitely would have been you.”
Those words said it all.
Honestly, they staggered him.
She was trying, and he had to be honest with her. It was only fair. She was telling him her deepest secrets, and he had a few since she left too.
He pulled off his shirt.
“Uh…?”
“Relax,” he offered. “I told you I won’t hurt you, Roxy. I’m not going to go all ‘Chester the Molester’ on you. I need to be honest.”
He turned around.
“Wow! What happened to you?” she asked, staring at the tattoos across his back. They weren’t what caught her eye.
The marks did, and they were vicious scratches and what looked to be bite marks.
He knew she was talking about the scratches, but then again, it could be the bruises. Jagger couldn’t look at her. He stayed facing the door. He was pretty sure that the second he told her he’d been a one man fornication machine, she was going to cut him out of her life, and their child’s.
His gut was saying to trust her.
His brain was telling him he was a freaking idiot.
“When you left, I hated you. Hell! I hated me. I went on a bender of sorts.”
“What kind?” she asked, staring at the claw marks across his shoulders and back. She was pretty sure she knew where they came from. She’d left a few marks on men during wild sex.
Well, someone wasn’t waiting for her to come back into his life.
It hurt.
She wanted to weep.
“When you were gone, I tried to forget you. I tried to burn you out of my heart and mind. I slept with lots of women.”
She didn’t want to know.
Still, she asked.
“How many is ‘lots’?”
“Forty, fifty, hell! It could be sixty. It was someone new every night.”
“I see.”
He couldn’t turn around.
This was his badge of shame, and he’d earned it. In the Marines, they taught you to face the consequences, and he was doing that. Jagger wouldn’t lie to her.
He wouldn’t pretend it had been pleasant.
If he wanted anything with her, they had to erase it all and start at the beginning.
This was a mission to rebuild from the ground up, and he knew it.
“I slept with them trying to erase you, Roxy. I couldn’t do it. With each one, I hated myself even more. I blamed me for you leaving. I thought it had to be me. You left because I’m unlovable.”
That broke her heart.
She didn’t want to hear that.
But he was being honest.
“I left because of me, Jagger. You can’t do penance for my sins too. They’re mine and mine alone. I left and hurt you, and I’ll never be able to erase that. I’m sorry.”
He heard her words and he didn’t know what to say. “I wanted you back but I’m glad you didn’t come back. Avalon was right. It had to happen this way. Had you found me, I would have been an asshole. My ego…”
“It’s freaking huge.”
He was aware. It was how he protected himself. It was his shield, his armor, and with her, he had two choices. Keep it and lose her, or lose it and keep her.
It was a no brainer.
“I’m sorry I didn’t understand. I’m sorry I slept with each and every one of them as I tried to find what I felt with you. It was never there. I went through the motions with all of them. It wasn’t the same as when I’m with you. What I felt with you, Roxy, it was special.”
There.
It was all he could do.
No.
Wait.
There was one more thing.
“I meant what I said that last day—before Bishop was shot. I would like a chance to date you. I want to see what happens when we both try. Please try, Roxy. Please.”
Her heart flipped in her chest. She knew how much that cost him. It was time to give him something back.
She moved toward him. Her fingers ran down the worst of the scratches on his back. They were raw and red, and she knew how they felt. She had the same ones all over her heart. Apparently, so did he.
It sucked for both of them.
Gently, she placed a kiss across the worst of them. His body trembled.
That small touch caused a reaction in him that she never thought she’d be able to get from a man.
She loved him.
Despite the shitty life she’d lived, she’d found a good guy, and by some miracle, she was given a second chance to redo what she should have grabbed on to the first time.
“I really want to try, Jagger. Let’s try together. It can’t be any worse than the last two months.”
They were the sweetest words he’d ever heard. Jagger Armstrong, for the first time in his life, didn’t have to atone.
He could just try to live life and be happy.
Chapter Seven
Downtown Happy
The Newspaper
They were all chatter on the ride to the newspaper. Bishop asked a million questions, most of them about Avalon, Jagger, and what they thought the man was going to do with her best friend.
She was clearly pumping them for information.
That was useless. No one could predict anything Jagger was going to do. In fact, if you did guess, he normally did the opposite just to piss you off.
Jagger tended to be a dick.
Hopefully, Roxy knew what she was getting into having his child.
They tried to reassure Bishop, but she didn’t stop talking. Nate and Luke were beginning to think that having Bishop with them was going to be a bad thing. There was no way they could roll into the newspaper, interview the people who knew Kathleen Hale, and act like they were on an elementary field trip.
It just wouldn’t fly.
Nate was about to ask Bishop to sit this one out when he saw the transformation. It was like slipping into a costume. Gone was the good humor, the sparkling eyes, and the devil may care attitude.
She was playing the role, and perfectly.
“I got this,” she said, as they headed into the building.
Both men stared at each other.
“What the hell just went on?” Luke asked.
Nate wasn’t quite sure. This had the potential to blow up all over them. This was going to be really good or really bad. It was going to set the mood for this whole case, and they knew it.
It was all on the line.
“Can I help you?” the man at the counter asked, as they approached, Bishop in the lead.
“Who are you?” Bishop responded. She was amused that the two Feds behind her were worried. She’d seen it on their faces. She simply liked to keep people on their toes.
“I’m Lester Newton. Who are you?”
She flipped out her badge and placed it on the counter so he could get a damn good look. “I’m special agent Bishop Monroe. I’m here to talk to someone
about Kathleen Hale’s death.”
The man had two very different responses.
First, he was surprised. She saw it in his eyes, and then he was overwhelmed with tears.
“Kat was a good egg,” he said, grabbing a tissue. “I can’t believe she’s dead. To go in your sleep has to be a blessing, right?” he asked.
“Sure. Can you point me at the person who can tell me what she was working on at the time of her death?” she asked.
He looked startled by her abrupt response.
“Really, my partners and I would like to get this on the road. We don’t exactly like being sent out for things like this. We know she died in her sleep, but when the boss says jump, you jump.”
He stared. “Uh, okay.”
Then he pointed across the room to a man standing by a desk. “He’s taking over her articles. You can talk to him.”
Bishop was good with that.
As she approached, it was as if the guy had eyes in the back of his head. He immediately turned, spotted them, and then got that feral look in his eyes.
Oh yeah, Bishop loved a game.
“Excuse me, but I was told to talk to you.”
Both Nate and Luke stared at her. She’d gone from hard ass Fed to sounding like a lost little lamb. Either Bishop was a master at being a cop, or bat shit insane.
The jury was out on that one.
“Okay, about what?”
She knew she had to approach this one differently. This was a seasoned reporter, and he was going to be wise to dealing with cops.
It was time to mix it up.
“Yes, my name is Bishop. I mean,” she said, laughing. “I mean Agent Bishop Monroe. Gosh! I always forget to do that right,” she stated, playing a ditz.
She knew he was going to buy it since he’d been checking out her chest and not her face during the introduction.
The man lifted a brow. “A Fed? You?”
She giggled. “It’s my first day. Oh my God! How cool is this?” she asked, looking around. When she noticed the reporter checking out her backup, she kept the ruse going. “Ignore them. They’re making sure I do this right. You know how probation is.”
“Uh…?”
Yeah, that was what they were thinking.
Bishop continued, “Well they send you out on these lame cases to just learn the ropes, but I have to try, right?” she asked. Then she pointed at his desk. “Ohhhh! Gum! Can I have a piece?”
Oracle Saving (The Phoenix Files Book 3) Page 13
