by Hamel, B. B.
I guess I want to feel like I have some control in my life again. I’ve been so completely swept up in everything around me that I haven’t had the chance to take a simple breath. First it’s my father controlling me and now it’s Rowan telling me what I can and can’t do.
I know he’s right, though. I don’t want to go on a hit with him. I don’t want to see him murder someone. But I feel like I’ve put in all this effort in stalking this guy and now I want to be there when that effort pays off. It’s freaky and insane and sick but for some reason the killing part of it all doesn’t bother me too much. The gory details probably will, but the abstract idea of the dark deed isn’t so bad.
Maybe I’m broken. It’s hard not to think that. I mean, I’m living and sleeping with the man that murdered my father. I’m going on stalking missions with him and I want to be there when he murders his next target. Most of the time I can’t even see him as a killer but as a gorgeous man I want to be around.
It’s insane how deep I’ve tumbled and how I don’t have any interest in digging myself back out.
I waste some time getting myself together. I hear him head into his room and get dressed at some point before leaving. When he’s gone, I shower and dress and lounge around the cabin trying to figure out what I’m going to do with myself.
Hours pass and he doesn’t come back. I keep thinking about him out there intent on killing a man tonight. I should be with him and every second I’m not sends a jolt of anger through me.
Around five, a couple hours before sunset, I hear his truck pull down the driveway. I step outside and watch as he climbs out of the cab. He walks halfway to the porch and stares at me, his big arms crossed over his chest.
“You stay in the truck,” he says simply.
I frown. “Why the change of heart?”
“I don’t know. You still want to come?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“You stay in the truck. Do you understand?”
“Tell me why first.”
He looks annoyed and spreads his hands out. “I don’t know, okay? I guess I figure you’re going to follow me anyway so I might as well make sure you’re okay.”
I snort. “I didn’t follow you yet.”
“Were you going to?”
“Thought about it.”
“So stay in the truck. Promise me that.”
“Fine,” I say.
He sighs, clearly not satisfied, but he nods at the truck. “Let’s go.”
I follow him into the cab and watch him as we drive back into town. He’s silent for most of the trip and barely looks away from the road. He’s so handsome and it’s hard to fit his hitman reality with the gorgeous face I love staring at. I wonder if he’ll slip his hands between my legs before he goes inside and instantly can feel myself dripping wet at the thought of him getting me off before murdering someone.
God, I must be broken. There’s no other explanation.
As we get into town, he clears his throat and pulls me from my thoughts. “He’s in bad shape today,” Rowan says.
“Drunk?”
He nods. “Pretty drunk.”
“So he’ll be going home then.”
“Probably. If his pattern holds, which it usually does.”
“That’s good.”
He grunts once. “Here’s the plan. He’ll come home around ten or so, turn on the TV, stare at it for a while. I’ll sneak in through the back window while the TV’s on and I’ll kill him before he even realizes what’s happening. You stay in the truck and wait for me. If I don’t come back out in ten minutes, drive back to my cabin, find whatever money and supplies and shit you want, and get out of town.”
I stare at him for a second. “You think this might not work?”
“I plan for everything,” he says softly and glances at me. There’s real worry in his expression and it’s almost as confusing as everything else. “Just promise you’ll do that, okay?”
“Okay,” I say softly. “I’ll do it.”
“Good. Cash is under my mattress.” He grins a little. “I’m not very creative.”
I laugh at that and the mood lightens a bit. We keep driving, eventually parking a half block away from the target’s house.
He leans back in his seat and sighs. “Now we wait,” he says.
I lean back in mine, mirroring his posture. “Now we wait,” I say back.
He glances at me and smiles. “God, you’re gorgeous, you know that? What a fucked-up pair we are.”
“We really are,” I whisper and smile at him nice and big.
* * *
The night falls thick around the neighborhood. The houses here are all single-story ranchers with a single-car garage attached on the right and the main door right in the middle. Our target’s plot needs to be mowed and weeded and generally taken care of but the house itself doesn’t stick out any more than any other around here. This isn’t the nicest part of town so there are more than a few rusted old tractors idling in backyards nearby.
We wait in mostly silence as the time ticks past. I get antsy but resist the urge to go for a walk or anything like that. Eventually, the crickets get loud enough to drown out an orchestra and I can see the tension in Rowan’s eyes.
I put my hand on his thigh. He smiles at me and puts his own hand on top of mine.
We stay like that until the target’s car pulls into his driveway, weaving slightly and screeching to a halt just before slamming into the garage door.
“Right on time,” Rowan says softly, pulling his hand away.
It’s nearly eleven. The neighborhood hasn’t stirred in at least an hour.
The guy gets out of his car. He locks it, drops his keys, picks them up, and stumbles to the front door. He manages to open it and head inside.
We sit there for a little while longer before Rowan finally sighs.
“Ten minutes,” he says.
“Good luck.”
He grins at me and slips out of the truck. He walks quickly down the sidewalk and toward the house, head bowed down, hands in his pockets. He’s wearing a dark sweatshirt and jeans and looks like anyone else around here.
I stare at the house as he disappears along the back. I can feel myself shifting in my seat, unsure and nervous. I hate sitting behind like this, like I’m not capable of helping him at all.
I wait five minutes before leaving the truck and following.
Here’s the thing. I never actually said I’d promise to stay behind. And anyway, I’m not waiting in that damn truck.
I have to see this for myself. If I’m going to keep sleeping with this man…
I have to see it. I don’t know why. It’s some sick desire deep inside of me that I just can’t shake. I have to see Rowan work as an outsider to really understand what he is.
I walk down the sidewalk just like he did and turn down the target’s yard. The grass is high as I step through it and I can see where Rowan passed. I move around the side of the house and through a broken metal fence gate.
The back door is slightly ajar as I walk up the two steps toward it. I push it open, heart hammering in my chest. I can hear the guy’s TV blaring some old western movie but I can’t hear anything else.
I step into a small, dirty kitchen. There’s junk on the table and dirty dishes in the sink. The cabinets are wood and about twenty years out of date. The refrigerator looks like it’s about to rust off its hinges and I half doubt it actually works. As I get closer to the sound of the TV, I suddenly can hear something else that makes me stop.
I pause at the break in the wall and listen carefully.
“How much?” the voice growls. I recognize Rowan right away.
“I-I-I don’t know.” This one must be the other guy.
“God damn it,” Rowan growls. “You don’t even know how much you owe him?”
“It’s a lot,” the man says. “Thousands. Thousands. I don’t know. Twenty-two.”
“Twenty-two thousand?” Rowan whistles. “That’s a lot. But not en
ough to kill someone.”
The man lets out a choked sob. “No,” he says. “Please.”
Rowan growls. “You want to live? You tell me why Fish wants you dead. Better do it fast.”
Live?
I don’t understand what’s happening. Rowan should’ve killed the guy and been done with it already, but instead he’s asking him about money and reasons and….
Rowan might let him live?
He didn’t give my father that chance.
I slip around the corner and stare at the scene in front of me. The guy’s sitting in his chair, staring up at a gun pointed at his forehead. Rowan’s standing there almost casually, the gun held in his right hand, his finger stiff on the trigger. There’s a tray next to the recliner with an untouched TV dinner on it, fork lying haphazardly next to it.
The guy’s eyes dart to mine. They don’t recognize me even though I’ve been watching him for days and feel like I know him.
“Wha—what’s she doing?”
Rowan’s head snaps around. “Allie? What the fuck?”
I stare at him. “Why are you talking about letting him go, Rowan?”
He growls at me. “Get back in the fucking truck.”
“Rowan,” I say. “What’s going on?”
He growls again and the gun waves away from the guy’s head. The target stares at the gun, blinking a little bit.
“Fish is up to something. I want to figure out what the fuck it is and maybe use it against him. This guy might be able to help.”
“I can help!” the guy says. “I can help!”
Rowan’s eyes snap back to him. “Help now before I kill you and drag her back to where she belongs.”
The man trembles. “Drugs,” he whispers. “I wasn’t selling but I was finding customers. Then one of his dealers got busted, my buddy, and I think… they think…”
Rowan groans. “Drugs, fucking of course. They think you ratted.”
The man nods. “But I didn’t!”
“Course not.”
“Rowan,” I say softly.
His eyes flick back to mine. “You don’t need to see this.”
“I have to,” I say back to him.
He growls again, clearly torn. We stare at each other…
And that’s when the guy makes his move. He grabs the fork and slams it into Rowan’s leg. I scream as the gun goes off, missing the guy’s head by inches.
The man rolls off the chair and hits the floor running. Rowan growls in pain and fires again, but he misses as he stumbles. The guy barrels into me, slamming me back against the wall. My head smashes into it and I see stars for a second.
“Fuck!” Rowan shouts, running after him. He stops to grab me. “Allie! Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I gasp. “I’m okay. I’m fine.”
He growls. “Fuck.” I watch as he pulls the fork from his leg. It wasn’t buried down deep but clearly enough to throw off his balance. “Get back to the truck.”
He runs off, limping slightly. I stand there dazed and dizzy but slowly I follow them out the back door and into the night.
I don’t see them anywhere. I head back to the truck but I notice some neighbors out on the stoops now looking around for the commotion. I try to keep myself calm as I get into the truck and stay there, willing people not to stare at me.
There’s another boom in the night not too far. I’m so nervous for Rowan that I almost want to get back out and search.
Fortunately I don’t have to wait long. Rowan shows up and starts the engine.
“Did you…” I start but trail off when he glares at me.
“It’s done. I hope it was worth it,” he says softly. “Because we might be fucked.”
He throws the truck into gear and we drive off into the night.
8
Rowan
I don’t say anything to her on the ride back to the cabin.
She lied to me. She said she was going to stay in the fucking truck but sure enough she followed me inside. Worse than that, she fucking distracted me again and that dumb bastard nearly got away.
My damn leg hurts where he stabbed me but that’s not even the biggest problem here. That was the sloppiest hit I’ve ever done. If Fish was pissed about Allie’s father, he’s going to be livid about this.
Multiple witnesses. Multiple people heard the shots. I’m betting at least one or two saw me actually kill the stupid drunk asshole.
He didn’t get far after he ran. I chased him down into a neighbor’s backyard and I didn’t hesitate. I put a bullet in his brain and ran off. But there’s no way I can be sure someone didn’t see me.
Which means Fish is going to have a hell of a time burying this problem. And now I’m going to be one of the loose ends he’ll need to tie up.
The only good thing that came out of this botched job is the info the asshole gave me before dying. I knew Fish was into some shady shit like gambling but I had no clue he was selling drugs too. If he’s killing people over it, that means he’s trying to keep it all quiet.
Fucking hell. What a goddamn mess.
I look over at Allie and she’s staring out the window. I don’t know what the fuck she was thinking. Honestly, I don’t understand the girl even a little bit.
Which almost scares me. I should understand the woman that’s sharing my home. I should understand the woman that I want more than anything.
But she’s still a goddamn mystery.
My blood’s boiling by the time we get back to my place. I’m angry and confused and above all I keep realizing how badly I want her and how much that’s clouding my mind.
We head inside. I grab her by the wrist before she can disappear into her bedroom and pull her toward me. She stumbles and lands pressed up against my chest.
I stare down at her. “What were you thinking?” I finally ask.
“I had to see,” she whispers.
“Why?”
She shakes her head. “I just had to. If I’m going to stay here with you, I need to know.”
“Now you know then.” I tilt her chin up to stare into her eyes. “Are you happy?”
“No,” she says.
“Good.” I release her chin and reach around to grab her hair tight. “You nearly got us both killed.”
“Got you stabbed,” she whispers.
“Got me stabbed,” I agree. I tighten my grip in her hair. “And that fucking hurt.”
“Sorry,” she groans.
“Not sorry enough. You’re going to have to be punished.” I lean down and kiss her hard, biting her bottom lip.
She groans as I pull her along into my room. I slam the door shut behind us and pull her into the middle of the space.
“Strip,” I command her, leaning back against my bed.
She hesitates for only a moment before taking off her shirt. She does it slow, watching me the whole time. I’m hard as fucking hell, half angry and half excited. She takes off her bra and reveals her perfect perky tits before turning around and pulling off her jeans.
I watch her bend over, showing me that nice round ass. I let out a soft growl when she stands back up to slide her panties off. I’m buzzing with desire for her wet cunt and I can barely control it but I can’t be too easy on her right now. Just because I want a taste doesn’t mean she deserves it.
Once she’s nice and naked, I stand and walk toward her. I take her hair again, nice and rough, and pull her over to the bed. I bend her over and spank her ass nice and hard.
“Shit,” she gasps.
I smirk at her. “You need to be punished, Allie,” I growl at her. “You nearly fucked everything up.”
I unbuckle my belt and take off my jeans. I pull off my shirt and use it to dab the blood from the stab wound on my leg. She watches me, still naked, ass turning pink from where I spanked her.
When I’m done, I slap her ass again and grab her hair. I pull her back against my hard cock, straining against my boxer briefs. I kiss her over her shoulder, palming her breasts and teasing he
r nipples.
I push her back forward and spank her ass again. This time though, I tease her pussy with my fingers from behind, rolling them back and forth, petting her perfect dripping pussy. I tease her clit and press two fingers deep inside before teasing her clit again.
She rolls her hips, moaning. “Rowan,” she groans.
“You think you know what it means to be dark?” I growl in her ear. “You have no clue, girl.”
“Then show me,” she whispers.
I bite her lip and kiss her hard before taking my thick cock from my boxer briefs. I come around to the side of the bed and drag her over to me, grabbing her hair and pressing my cock between her lips. She groans as I fuck her mouth, letting her spit roll down my shaft.
She sucks me fast and takes it deep into her throat. She gags once, twice, but I don’t stop. I fuck her until my cock’s dripping with her spit, nice and soaking wet.
I growl again and grab her hips. I pull her over to me and spread her ass nice and wide. I tongue her little ass around and around before pressing my thick cock against her virgin tight ass.
She moans as I slowly slide myside inside of her.
“Fuck, girl,” I groan. “Nice and tight. Now I own every inch of you.”
“Rowan,” she pants. “I’ve never…. you have to be gentle.”
“Gentle?” I growl at her. “Sorry, girl. There’s no gentle tonight.”
I spank her ass and she gasps. “Do whatever you want,” she moans. I feel her relax as I sink my huge cock deeper inside her ass, making her gasp and groan louder.
I fuck her ass and grab her hips. I spank her and fuck her deep. It’s like shoving my cock into a goddamn warm vise. It feels so fucking good as I slide myself in and out, taking her nice and deep and hard.
I grab her hair and pull her back to me. “You love having my cock deep inside your virgin ass,” I whisper in her ear. “You love giving your filthy body to me, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she moans.
“You want me to fuck every inch of you.” I thrust roughly up deep inside her and she lets out a gasp. “You love feeling me taking you.”
“Oh, god,” she whispers.
