Selene swallowed and looked down at Damien’s slumbering face. She would have never guessed he held such sorrow inside of him. The death of what appeared to be his family, the death of all those men, then almost dying himself . . .
Before she could stop herself, she bent down near his ear. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was some other way.” But there was no other way. Soon she would return and when she did, she would use these awful memories against him to take his life.
First, one hot tear, then another coursed down her cheek. Her chest ached with a deep heaviness. She pressed her hand against her chest to make the hurt go away, but it just pulsed beneath her fist. No matter what she did, or how many times she tried to hide her heart away, it seemed to always be there, breaking.
She slowly rose to her feet and wiped her eyes.
Maybe that meant she was still human. That was a good thing, right?
She glanced one more time around the room. Everything was quiet. Damien was still fast asleep, although restless now, and his companions were still in their rooms.
With a heavy sigh, Selene silently left his bedchamber.
25
What have you found out so far?” Lady Ragna stood beside the fireplace in her room, still dressed in her dark tunic and leggings. Her hood was pulled back and her face scarf hung over one shoulder. Apparently Mother had been out dreamwalking last night as well. Most likely visiting the dreams of either Lord Rune or Lady Runa Vivek.
The first rays of daylight trickled through the nearby windows. Morning would soon be here, and Selene hadn’t slept since yesterday. Fatigue lay heavily across her mind, but a nervous energy filled her being and her body refused to rest. She stood rigidly in the middle of the room and gave her report.
“Lord Damien still holds on to grief for his family.” The heaviness and the strange darkness she had observed an hour ago still hung upon her heart, but she kept those buried and away from her mother’s perusal.
Her mother nodded. “That is to be expected. House Maris was always quite close.”
Selene pondered her mother’s words. What would it be like to have a close family? To actually love one’s parents and grieve over their deaths? A small part of her wondered if she would actually be sad at the departing of her mother.
“However, I’m not sure if grief is strong enough to turn a person like Lord Damien,” her mother continued.
“Why?” Selene blurted out before she could stop herself.
Her mother paused, carefully taking in Selene. “House Maris is powerful in their own right. And their minds are quite strong.” She smiled faintly. “I’m impressed that you were actually able to dive into Lord Damien’s grief. Did you see anything?”
“Yes, I saw the day of his parents’ death. And their burial.” Selene didn’t mention the fact that the moment she touched Damien, it felt like he pulled her in. If his mind was that strong, then why would he do that?
Her mother’s eyes widened. “You did? Very impressive.”
Selene narrowed her own eyes. Mother seemed to know a lot more about House Maris than she was letting on.
“Still, that kind of knowledge might shatter his mind, but not his body. And we can’t afford to have another Renata incident. If Lord Damien remains alive, his people will still rally around him, broken mind or not. He could still be the threat from the north that the Dark Lady warned me about.”
Selene felt like her mother had just punched her in the gut at the mention of her servant Renata. She fought the urge to suck in a breath or turn away. Instead, she curled her hands tightly at her side.
“Is that all you found?”
Selene was done with this conversation. She wanted to leave this instant and hit something really hard. But Mother pinned her to the spot, her dark gaze fixed on her. Selene had no choice but to continue to divulge Damien’s secrets, ones she did not want to share. She lifted her chin. “No. I also discovered his fear.” At least one of them. She had yet to figure out what else she had witnessed.
“You did?” The faint smile widened upon her mother’s lips and a spark entered her eyes.
Once again, Selene felt like her mother was leaving something out. She seemed too eager about Selene’s progress with Lord Damien—
Wait.
Was it possible her mother tried to dreamwalk within the mind of a member of House Maris . . . and failed?
Selene blinked with this newfound thought, a rush of questions entering her mind. Who? When? Was it Damien? Or someone else? Possibly his father? Her mother mentioned failing at a mission once. Just one. Had it been with House Maris?
“Selene?” her mother probed.
“Yes?” Selene said, trying to bring her mind back to their conversation.
“What is it young Lord Damien fears?”
Selene froze. Everything inside of her told her not to tell her mother. If Damien’s greatest nightmare was the carnage he left after using his power, then she had no desire to share that with her mother because . . .
It was the same fear Selene had.
“Selene?” Her mother’s voice took on a rougher, darker tone.
“I found a memory of Lord Damien in a storm. He fell from a ship and the waves almost took him away.”
Her mother waited for her to continue, but that was all she was going to share.
“So,” her mother said a moment later, “is Lord Damien afraid of storms? Or of drowning?”
“I . . . believe he is afraid of both.”
“Is the fear strong enough?” There was doubt in her mother’s voice.
“Yes. I felt his fear. He sunk under the water twice and thought he was going to die.”
“Interesting, considering his gift involves water,” her mother mused. “Yes, I think that would work. Do you think you can pull it off?”
Selene swallowed the lump in her throat. Now it came to this. She knew Damien’s true weakness, something he feared strongly. And she knew her power. It would be a simple task to repeat that stormy day, and then let him drown. And if that didn’t work, she could add in the men he killed. Remind him what happened when he used his gift. Drive it like a spike into his mind until it cracked and his heart gave out.
Her hands began to shake. Oh yes, she could do it.
Or could she?
Could she kill the only light she had ever seen inside a person?
Could she kill Damien?
“Yes, I can do it,” she answered, pushing the words through tight lips. What choice did she have? There was no way out, no other solution. If she didn’t kill him, her mother would, and Selene would be locked up—or worse. And her sisters would be left to fulfill the Ravenwood legacy.
“Good. I plan on striking against House Vivek near the end of the assembly. You’ll do the same. We’ll talk one more time before that night comes. Now, I must go.” She let out a tired sigh. “The talks are later this morning, and I need some rest before they begin.”
Her mother turned without bidding her good-bye and disappeared into her private chambers.
The moment the door shut, Selene spun around and left her mother’s rooms. She needed rest as well, but she knew it would not come, not with her mind full and body on edge. Instead, she headed for her room to pick up her twin blades, then she would head out to the private workout area and exercise until her body could no longer move.
Selene no longer saw the straw-stuffed dummy in front of her, nor felt the blades in her hands. Instead, her body moved without her while her mind feverishly went over Damien’s dreamscape and how soon she would be taking his life.
Every time she pictured how she would do it, the lump inside her chest expanded, reaching all the way to her throat. She hit the dummy harder.
Why, why, why? What good will his death bring? Yes, Mother says he’s a threat, but is he really?
Selene dropped her arms and panted as she stared at the dummy. It was Lord Damien who had called the Great Houses together, who led the talks
, and, if she guessed correctly from his memories about the dead men she had seen, had even stopped an invading Dominion fleet.
And he was the youngest of the house lords.
Selene frowned. Was that why he was a threat? Because he was actually taking action when the other houses had been content for years to sit back and only take care of their own? Even with the threat of another empire razing under Commander Orion’s authority?
She started her exercises again.
I don’t get it. Lord Damien is doing more good than anyone else. Is it because he’s different?
So far she had only dreamwalked within the minds of the servants in Rook Castle and Lord Damien, so her experience was limited. But she had a feeling that even if she walked in the dreams of multiple people from different nations, she would still find he was different.
What made him that way? Why was his soul like white fire while others had souls that were dark and bound in chains? Even that hint of darkness could not extinguish the blazing light inside of Damien.
Selene paused and looked down. She couldn’t see her own soul, but she could feel it. If it had a form, most likely it would look like a revolving orb of dark storm clouds. At least that’s how it felt. And she could guess why Renata’s soul was the way it was: she was still chained to her past, tainted by actions forced upon her.
Could a person’s soul change? Could Renata be freed of her shackles? Could Selene’s own soul be filled with light?
Or were only some people given luminous souls?
Selene swallowed. She hadn’t visited Renata since that day. She couldn’t stand to see the young woman’s blank eyes or face the knowledge that she had done that to her. She was just as bad as those men from Renata’s dreams.
No, I don’t deserve such light. Selene lifted one blade and brought the other horizontal across her body. My destiny most likely will paint my soul blacker than hell. But Renata does deserve it. And sweet little Ophie. And even Petur. They deserve freedom. They are kind and generous people.
She pressed her lips together and continued her exercises. Sweat ran down the contours of her face and neck, soaking into her back. Her braid swung back and forth as she hit the dummy harder and harder. The sun rose higher in the sky as morning spread across the castle.
But no matter how hard she used physical activity to purge her questions from her mind, it didn’t stop her deep longing for Damien’s soul. To see it and sit beside it. Be warmed by it. To understand how it came to be like that and know where the light came from—
Selene sensed someone behind her. With a sharp twist, she brought her body and blades around . . .
And found the one man her mind had been on all morning standing in front of her.
26
How did you sleep?”
Damien rubbed the back of his neck as he and Taegis followed the long corridor toward the southern side of Rook Castle. A cool mountain breeze blew through the open archways, bringing with it the scent of pine and smoke. “Not well.” He dropped his hand and twisted the family ring around his finger, his chest tight and heavy from the dreams.
“Oh?” Taegis glanced at him from the corner of his eye.
“The nightmares came back.”
Taegis was quiet for a moment. “Which ones?” he finally asked.
“I saw my parents again, the last few days before the plague took them. And the day—” His voice hitched, and he twisted the ring faster. It had been almost two years. Why couldn’t he get over the deaths of his parents and brother?
“The day Lord and Lady Maris and your brother, Quinn, were taken out to sea.”
“Yes,” Damien said through tight lips.
“I wondered if seeing those whom your family interacted with over the years would bring back memories.”
“I don’t know. These dreams seemed different than the ones I used to have. And there was a raven again, following me.”
“A raven?” Taegis scratched the side of his face as the two men made their way to the inner bailey. “You mean the same one you told me about a few days ago?”
“Yes.”
“That is odd. Perhaps there is more to this raven than just an intrusion of our surroundings. I overheard some of the Ravenwood guards talking about a legend involving a raven yesterday morning.”
Damien glanced over at Taegis. “What did they say?”
“Every few years, a raven haunts the dreams of those who live here. It seems the raven has been seen again over the last few months.”
“A raven who visits dreams,” Damien murmured, his mind flashing back to the nightmares from last night. That was exactly what it did. It had followed him, watching him with beady black eyes. But why? And where did it come from? Did it bring bad tidings? He shuddered at the intrusion. Maybe he would see about procuring a sleeping draught for tonight.
Sunlight streamed through the breezeway as they made their way downstairs and outside. Young maple trees were already changing out in the courtyard, adding color to the dull grey castle walls. Damien breathed in deeply and let his breath out with a sigh, letting the morbid thoughts from earlier fly away. It might not be the ocean, but the mountains in the autumn were the second best thing.
As they neared the area where Captain Stanton had indicated they could train, the sounds of wooden thumps and metal clashing echoed through the narrow area.
“Sounds like someone already beat us to the training grounds,” Taegis said.
Damien frowned. “I thought this area was supposed to be for private practice, not for soldiers.”
“Then we should see who it is.”
They walked between Rook Castle and the outer wall toward the sound. Beyond the corner of the castle was an old hickory tree in full array of yellow and orange leaves. Beyond the tree was a small weatherworn shed. Three dummies were set up next to the wall. A lithe form dressed in black attacked the first dummy with a flurry of hits.
Damien did a double take as the figure straightened up and prepared for another round. Wait . . . was that a woman?
She held two swords in her hands, one slightly shorter than the other, both curved. With one swift movement, she swung her arms across her body, the shorter sword ahead of the other one. When she reached half an arc, she brought the longer sword back. The swords hit the dummy in lethal succession.
Taking a deep breath, she brought her swords back into position, refocused, then held the longer sword above her head, and the shorter one across her body. In a flash, she brought the long sword down at a steep angle while swinging the shorter one slightly upward and across her body.
Each time she performed a move, she repositioned herself to start another set of sword movements.
Damien watched her, mesmerized. The way she moved was like a dance. Each movement, each part flowing with graceful ease. Even her loose black clothing and long braid moved in synchronization with her blades.
Taegis whistled quietly. “I’ve never seen a fighting style like that.”
“Neither have I.”
As if sensing their presence, the woman spun around, her blades out and ready. She panted as sweat trickled down the side of her face.
Damien felt like he had been punched in the gut. He wasn’t sure who he had expected the woman to be, but he definitely didn’t expect Lady Selene Ravenwood.
The moment she laid eyes on him, her whole body stiffened. Her face, already flushed from her workout, turned even rosier.
“I’m sorry we disturbed you, my lady,” Damien said, taking a step toward her.
She moved her blades between herself and him in a protective manner.
Damien stopped, puzzled. Did she fear him? “We were told we could practice here by Captain Stanton.”
Lady Selene took a few deep breaths and slowly lowered her swords. “I see. Most people do not know about this training area. Forgive me, your presence startled me.”
Damien got the feeling there was more to what she was saying. “If you like, we can come back later.�
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She shook her head. “No. I was just finishing my routine.”
His eyes slid back to the swords. The morning light glinted off the sharp blades. “I’ve never seen a fighting style like the one you were using just now. Where did you learn it?”
Lady Selene tucked the shorter sword into the scabbard located near the middle of her waist, then the longer sword on her left side. “It is my family’s. And one we do not share.”
Her tone made it clear that she would not be answering any more questions. A part of him wished he had not interrupted her routine. It had been a beautiful sight to behold.
“Please excuse me, Lord Damien.” She gave him a small bow, then headed right and exited the training area.
Damien watched her leave, unable to take his eyes off her. She possessed a dark beauty so unlike any other lady of his acquaintance, especially Lady Adalyn Luceras. Like an exquisite deep red rose surrounded by thorns.
“Do you need a moment, or would you like to start?”
Taegis’s voice interrupted his musings. Damien turned back. “Lady Selene is an interesting woman, one whom I cannot peg. She appears cold, but I sense there is much more to her beneath the surface.”
“I think you should be wary of anything that involves the Ravenwood family. That goes for both Lady Selene and her father.”
Damien caught the reference to Caiaphas. “I will. However, I find myself wishing to know more about Lady Selene.”
“And what of Lady Adalyn?”
Damien frowned. “What of Lady Adalyn?”
Taegis drew out his sword and studied the edge. “I’m sure you’re aware that House Luceras will most likely approach you about an alliance during our stay.”
Damien snorted. “You could say that of almost any house here. What makes you speak of House Luceras specifically?”
“Out of all of the houses, it would be the best union for House Maris.”
Damien nodded and drew out his own sword. “Yes, you are right. But House Maris has always married for love, and I do not feel that way toward Lady Adalyn.”
Mark of the Raven Page 19
