I understood her frustration at wanting to do something normal. It was the reason Chloe and I were together in the first place. Finding her at the end of the phone with the wrong number Toby’s PA gave me, was everything at a time when I was starting to wonder what the point of my life was.
In actual fact, it wasn’t that long after the last time I saw her at Beltz that I lost my anonymity and was able to come and go as I pleased, without anyone stalking me. Asking Chloe to step into my world was something I hadn’t even considered when I planned to meet her. Selfishly, the only thing on my mind was getting her in front of me. That plan was all kinds of fucked up when I looked back at the way things had gone.
No. That was wrong, because in all that fucked-up-ness I found that Chloe had been stuck on a loop in my mind for a reason. The reason. She was my reason. When I was younger, I used to wonder why my parents hadn’t just given me away. Sometimes I wondered what life was about and the reason I’d been put here to walk this earth. Deep thoughts for an ‘angsty’ teenager. However, as soon as Chloe gave herself to me, I knew what my life was supposed to be and the reason why I was here.
I began to feel the weight of responsibility and I wondered about being able to be what everyone wanted from me, and to try to help Chloe into my world but still keep her happy. Already, I’d been stretched in too many directions. Keeping the band, management and PR team happy, write songs, compose, tour the world, play gigs, meet fans, deal with the technical shit, make albums, sign countless CD cases and other merchandise, attend award ceremonies, not to mention TV appearances and all the interviews for the media. I was forever in the spotlight.
This was my life. Gone were the days when I could just take off down to a store without a plan in place, just in case some crazy guy with a shotgun took exception to me because his wife or sweetheart objectified me on a calendar or in a magazine.
When I thought about all the fame and what it attracted by default, and then I put Chloe into the mix and how she’d be integrated into all of that, my head just about exploded. Chloe was fragile. Whether she knew it or not. She had been through a horrendous ordeal and I knew that she thought she was strong. There is a difference between strong and brave. And as far as I could see, Chloe tackled her days bravely.
Stepping back into the circus that was my daily life wasn’t easy. It was a buzz though, nevertheless. For months. I had put almost all my focus on Chloe, not on work and it had only been the last few weeks I’d been writing again. So I had to think about getting down to some serious music with the guys.
What had happened to Chloe hadn’t really been fair on them. I’d just kinda shrugged them all off to concentrate on her needs, but they had been accommodating, even Simon, but the last call I had with Len made me consider how things were for them in all of this. They were restless and without being conceited about it, I knew that I was the main pull for M3rCy, so they had all been left dangling until I could focus again, and that wasn’t me acting like the team player I should have been.
I’d almost forgotten what an ordeal it could be just to go to a simple meeting. When I arrived at the offices to meet with our management, someone must have tipped off our fans that we were headed there, because the scene outside and along the street was fucking chaos.
There were six police on horses marshalling the crowds, as several squad cars blocked the road. Crazed fans screamed and jostled for position, to gain a better vantage point. There must have been at least a thousand people sprawled along both sides of the road on the sidewalk.
Breaking free of the barrier, about a dozen frenzied, screaming girls caught up with the car and banged heavily on the blacked out windows. Two got directly in front of the hood, making Johnny stop momentarily, while they stared directly at me with wide eyes across the hood, looking near to hysteria at the thought they may be able to get to me.
Johnny never let me ride up front when there was the potential for fans to mob me. He said I was more secure in the cabin at the back. There was bullet proof glass in the car and the partition was the same, so that even if they got into the front where he was, I could prevent them getting any further.
“Well, fuck! This is grand! Whoever masterminded this subtle fucking welcome is out on their ass. Find out who leaked to the press we were coming. I’m personally gonna have his balls in a stranglehold.” I hated the way the PR team constantly tried to stir up shit, so that it brought the world’s attention on us.
As if we could be invisible anyway. Nearly every person I had ever come into contact with called me by my first name and talked to me like they knew me from way back. From my perspective, that was a bit creepy, because sometimes they said something and I had to stop and think for a minute then I’d think. Yeah that happened.
Johnny was already ringing for back-up. We had three security guys on the curb outside the offices, but that wasn’t enough to get me inside safely. Thank God the car was armored. We’d been given it as a gift from some Arab prince when we sang at his son’s graduation a few years ago. What I liked about it, was it looked just like any other family SUV, so it didn’t attract that much attention. Even with that, it was still unnerving with the pandemonium that the hysterical fans were creating.
Jerry appeared with another half a dozen guys in dark suits and earpieces. Signaling with his two fingers, he directed two guys where he wanted them to be. Turning, he pointed at another’s feet to direct him to stay where he was, and then turned and motioned where he wanted the rest of them. Spinning around, he saw the three guys on the curb and deployed them to move the barriers that were already set up, until they shifted them to make a runway for me to enter the building.
Talking into his cuff of his jacket, Jerry’s calm, even tone came through the intercom in the car. “Clear to go. On my count, one and exit.”
Johnny shifted across from the left where the driver’s seat to the passenger seat and tapped on the window that Jerry was now leaning against.
Sliding along the leather seating, I edged forward with my heart in my mouth. No matter how many times this had happened before, I still felt scared shitless. Each time I stepped out into the crowd, the potential for something to go wrong was high.
Adrenaline made my heart pump fast, the pulse in my neck ticking rapidly as I fought the urge to run. This was an innate part of me that came with my label of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and was a strong feature of my personality at times of stress. On those occasions— as in my current situation—I really had to fight the urge to act impulsively and trust the judgment of Johnny and Jerry to keep me safe.
Trusting Jerry was something I was trying to come to terms with after what happened with Chloe. He dropped the ball twice in less than a day, and although we’d debriefed about that until the cows came home, I was still having difficulty getting past it.
Three-two-one, exit. Suddenly Johnny unlocked my side and Jerry pulled the door open. The dull screaming from inside the car was a deafening roar as my feet hit the street. Jerry flanked my right side and Johnny my left as we walked at the same fast pace that had been rehearsed so many times, it felt like part of my set list.
I tried my best to ignore the security guy to my right, who had grabbed a girl that had been running toward me. He spun her around by her waist and in the opposite direction from me, as I waved to the crowd pretending not to notice. We gathered pace and I glanced at the entrance of the building, the smoked glass doors with the gold embossed script getting closer with every step I took.
Random voices were rising above the cacophony of screams, telling me how much they loved me and there were more than a few comments about what women would like to do to me as well as the usual offers to have my baby or proposals of marriage. To think at one point I loved that made me realize what a mess I was.
Can’t say I didn’t feel relieved when Jerry’s hand finally gripped the long, gold metal bar that was the handle, and he yanked it open. Turning briefly I called out, “Thank you all for coming d
own to see me. I love you too.” It was the least I could do knowing some of those girls would have travelled miles.
Moving out of the line of sight from the street, I leaned back against the wall, then bent over with my hands on my knees. “Fuck. What a fucking mess. Since when did they think it was okay to risk killing the lead singer of the band to make the headlines? I want the asshole that created that clusterfuck gone. Anything could have happened out there in that unplanned situation. There was no thought for the safety of those women and girls out there. Not one of them had the thought that someone could get mown down by a stray car trying to dodge them running across the street?”
Glancing up, I saw Jerry’s nervous face looking back at me and I knew he was wondering how I felt he’d fared in that situation. By using clockwork delegation and swiftly assessing the potential risks, Jerry had dealt with a shitty situation with complete confidence and skill. He may have fucked up before, but his observation skills, risk assessment, operational and management abilities were never in question.
Once I’d recovered my composure, I took the stairs two at a time to the office.
“Jeez, Gib, when are you gonna slow down with that? I’ve never seen you walk up stairs like a normal person and you always jump down the last three like a kid.” Snickering at Johnny because he always had the ability to inject some levity into tense situations, I glanced briefly at him and ignored the receptionist, walking over to the conference room door. I began to push it open and glanced over my shoulder again, saying, “Johnny, if I was normal I’d be like everybody else and that shit out there would be a fantasy. In case you didn’t notice, I’m a fuckin’ rock star— we’re supposed to do stupid shit.”
On entering the room, I could see that everyone else was present and Syd was over from New York. Although we weren’t on his label any more we still did favors for each other, and he was trying to help form a plan to snare Kace.
Syd inclined his head. “Ah, here’s the main man.” I didn’t like when people said that to me, even if it was somewhat true. It was demeaning to the other guys in the band. Syd had been looking out of the window at the LA skyline and turned to walk over to the table. Pulling up his jeans at the knees like he was wearing some expensively tailored evening pants, Syd sat in the leather swivel chair at the head of the table.
“There is nothing ‘main’ about me, Syd. I sing. That puts me at the front, but we’re all in this together. Cut the shit and tell me what the plan is for this new band, what you want from us, and how you’re gonna catch that warped piece of shit that took my woman.”
Our heads turned when we heard the swish of the door and the receptionist pushed in a trolley with some breakfast pastries, pancakes, patties, scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. Walking over to the table she carried two large flask–like containers, one blue and one white, with coffee. “Blue is decaf.”
Choosing me to sidle up to, she leaned in and placed plates, napkins and cutlery on the table. Gazing seductively at me with her eyes popping wide, she spoke in an exaggerated slow Marilyn Monroe type voice, “Anything you want Gibson, you only have to ask.”
Now I knew the guys wanted Gibson back, and fuck I was kinda between a rock and a hard place, because she was a stunning looking girl and they were all watching me. She was kinda hard to ignore and I knew I’d get my ass whooped for not biting. Besides, I wasn’t in the mood for the pussy-whipped jibes after what I had just experienced downstairs so I turned, grinned and pulled her onto my lap. Her hand instantly brushed over my junk on the way down, giving it a little squeeze.
“Hmm, anything I want, eh, darlin’. Well, you have no idea how much trouble that particular statement got the last girl into that said it to me.” It was true the last girl was Chloe when we were on the phone, and the same the other night before she let me back inside her tight little body.
Well, fuck if I hadn’t started a fire with my little show and had trouble putting the damn thing out. Instead of her accepting the flirt and shoving me back and laughing it off, she was ready to climb on me no matter who was spectating.
There was no way I could miss the full pert tits that were practically spilling out of her blouse. I was almost sure if she took a deep breath, that there wouldn’t be one button left on that blouse it was straining so tightly. Adjusting herself, she wiggled her pussy right over my pant clad dick and I’ll admit, it did wake me up a bit.
“So Gibson…just so that you know, I’m not a tease, I meant it, anything you want.” Len was snickering and Simon had a raised eyebrow. Mick was completely disinterested and texting someone, but Syd stared straight at me, his hand skating back and forth over the highly polished mahogany table. Just waiting to see weakness in me.
Placing my hands on her waist, I stared into her pretty brown eyes and smiled. “What I want is for you to get off my dick and go do your job, honey. We’re not running a brothel here and if you want to fuck, I suggest you give up your job here and go find yourself a massage parlor to work in.”
Loud laughter erupted and I pushed the girl off me to her feet. “Sorry honey, I don’t eat take out when I have gourmet at home.” I’d saved face with them, but at the receptionist’s expense. Seeing the way she behaved, I figured if she only worked at a record company to fuck the musicians, then she deserved anything that was thrown at her.
Once she left, we set to work planning for the day when Kace walked back into the frame and getting ourselves ready to cut the next album. When we were done with the business side of our discussions, we all wandered into the recording studio and I played them a few of the songs and some lyrics I had written. Everyone thought they were good enough for the album, but we had to work on the drum beat and guitar riff music to go with the melodies I had down, and the kind of sound we wanted for the ones where I only had lyrics.
Several hours later we were lost in our music, the one thing that brought us all together in the first place. The last six months melted away. I’ll admit it felt great to be back with them and I realized how much I had missed the joy I got out of making music.
CHAPTER 29 - JILL SPILLS
Chloe
Waking up without Gibson was much harder than I imagined it would be. For the last two days I’d slept fitfully without his strong warm body wrapped around mine. Instinctively, my hand had slid across to meet the coldness of the sheet in the bed, expecting to make contact with him. When my brain caught up with my hand, I’d remember he was in LA. Each morning that finding always left me with a heavy heart well into the morning.
Tuesday wasn’t too bad because I spoke to him twice during the day and again before he went to dinner, then the girls arrived and as we’d stayed up late into the night, I hadn’t really noticed that he hadn’t called again.
Yesterday was hard because I had a three minute phone call before he was due to record an interview for a TV program, and then he was making a video for their new single. When he told me they had overrun and he would be staying until the weekend, I had wanted to go there, but he was quick to ask me to stay on here because of how bored I’d be. The way he explained it made sense, I’d only be lonely somewhere else because he’d be working all of the time.
Ruby said it was natural for me to miss him, as it was the first time we’d been away from each other. She was wrong about that, because we had lived for weeks without each other, before Gibson insisted and they allowed him to stay at the mental health facility.
When I drew back the drapes, the most idyllic and beautiful snowy mountain range was on display before me. We’d had the first proper snow dump of the season and looking out of the French doors, over the white covered wooden deck railings, the secluded woodland scene was picture postcard perfect. From the amount of snow that was resting against the doors, there must have been at least two feet of snowfall in the night.
Loud knocking preceded Ruby invading my space as she spilled into the room whooping and hollering about the snow. “Oh, Chloe! I love the snow.” Growing up in Florida, I could r
elate. It made it magical to me. Every time I experienced snow, it felt like the first time.
“I spoke to Emma and she’s going to arrange for the snowmobiles she found in the big barn at the bottom of the hill to be brought up here, so we can have some fun in the snow.”
I slowly tore my eyes away from the view and turned to meet her gaze grinning excitedly. “Let’s get breakfast, I can’t wait.” Playing around on the snow would keep me occupied for a few hours at least and I thought it may lift the heavy feeling I had about missing Gibson. My one worry was that we didn’t come equipped for the snow. Gibson talked about getting some snowsuits and ski jackets, but we hadn’t got that far before this snow.
At breakfast, I voiced my concern that we wouldn’t have enough warm clothing for the weather conditions. Lois grinned and shook her head. “Don’t worry about that Chloe, we found a pile of really thick snow suits and snow boots. Even if they are a bit big, you’re only going to be sitting on the snowmobiles in them.”
Jill came in with her hair in a messy bun, wearing short pajamas, her ass cheeks barely covered by the bottoms. “Count me out. I’m a beach babe. You won’t get my skinny ass on one of those death traps. Thanks for making that racket and waking me up, by the way.” Gesturing her head at the window, she was referring to Emma and Lois bringing the machines up to the house.
Ruby looked incredulously at Jill, unable to understand how anyone could not like the snow. “Where’s your sense of adventure, Jill?”
Jill poured some coffee and blew into the steamy cup she was cradling in both hands. Glancing up, she gave Ruby a look of disdain before smirking. “Ruby, I’m Toby Francis’ girl, I have all the adventure I can manage.”
Emma and I smirked at each other and looked over at Ruby who seemed to be mulling Jill’s comment over. “True. Toby looks like he’s so hard to handle so— point taken.”
Trusting Gibson (Last Score Book 2) Page 25
