That night as my sleep deepened I dreamed that he was watching me. Suddenly I was jerked awake by a hand closing over my mouth I tried to scream when Nathan’s voice sounding angrier than ever whispered, ‘Don’t make a fucking sound! I’m sick of you watching me, thinking about me and dreaming about me. Don’t speak to me or even look at me, do you hear me?’
My eyes started tearing up, but I answered him by nodding my head. I felt the bed move and heard the floor boards creak loudly as he made his way to the door. He opened the door and closed it softly behind him. My heart thundered in my ears, my eyes watered and my breath came in short, sharp gasps, as I tried to process how on earth he knew I was dreaming about him.
The next morning both Nathan and Jenny had already left for school. I grabbed something to eat and left for school, shivering in the biting wind that was blowing my hair all over my face. I reached school and realised that I had arrived at half past eight instead of nine. I stood there for a moment as indecision battled me, then I remembered hearing some of my classmates talk about the coffee shop around the corner.
As I walked into the little coffee shop, I looked around and saw a lot of my fellow pupils in here. They were obviously chilling out before school. The shop was an old bookshop and coffee shop, and looked like a library with big squashy chairs, low level lighting from lamps at each table and books lining the walls. As I walked further into the shop I noticed a lot of eyes following me, but I stared ahead. I reached the counter without incident and ordered a hot chocolate. My eyes wandered, taking in the room looked with interest. As my eyes roamed I noticed a table at the back which seated Nathan, Lisa and some of their friends. Most of the people in the group were staring at me, but Nathan and Lisa were kissing and she was sitting on his knee. My eyes moved on determinedly as I tried to hide the hurt and betrayal.
I returned my gaze to the counter as bile rose in my throat and my stomach turned over unpleasantly. I picked up my drink and made to leave. My eyes turned almost of their own volition and glanced back at their table. Nathan and Lisa were no longer there. They were outside. I glimpsed them across the road heading towards school. Since they were heading that way I headed in the other direction to try and kill the next twenty odd minutes. I aimlessly wandered, musing about the night before and all of the different sides to Nathan I had seen. He could be sweet, funny, brave and caring, but he could also be cold, mean and thoughtless. I hated that I had seen both sides to him and that he was stuck inside my head.
I had been walking sipping my delicious hot chocolate when I noticed a small play park. The park was empty probably because of the wind and the time it was. I went towards the swing set and slumped down on the swing, thinking about going back to school and facing Nathan again. I was worried, more like terrified that he was going to be mean to me again in front of everyone, when I started to feel fuzzy. The ground started swaying and shifting from side to side as if I was in a rickety boat in stormy waters. Snakes started coming out of cracks in the ground, slithering towards me. I screaming loudly as I pulled my legs up off of the ground.
I began slipping backwards off of the swing and different snakes were snapping at me, rock snakes, cobras and rattlers. I dropped my cup and looked for a way to get out of the park, but there was only a wooded area to my left, a wall to my right and, dead ahead, Nathan, Lisa and their cronies were standing laughing at me.
I caught his eye and mouthed help me, but he just shook his head and continued laughing. Tears rolled down my cheeks and one of the snakes managed to catch me. It bit me on the wrist and I screamed in agony as the bite burned me. I fell off of the swing as more snakes bit me over and over again. I screamed and slipped into blackness as venom pulsed through me.
Voices sounded over me and Nathan was touching my wrist. I could tell from the sparks running up and down my arm, and the butterflies in my stomach. I could hear his voice and taste his breath as he spoke to someone else nearby. I couldn’t open up my eyes to see who it was. I heard exactly what he was saying,
“I thought it was just going to scare her, for fuck sake, we aren’t supposed to hurt her yet.” His voice was low and irritated, but I wondered what he meant by yet.
“Yeah it was supposed to just scare her. It was supposed to make her hallucinate her worst fears. What is she scared of?” bit back another male voice.
“I don’t know, Lisa can you check and see.”
“Like hell I’m touching her.”
“Come on Lisa,” Nathan’s voice commanded “we have to know so we can fix her and get to school.”
At this point I could feel a slow torturous burning in my arms, spreading up to my shoulders and up my neck. I could feel my body start to swell and I started to convulse.
The next sound that broke through the haze I was under was Nathan’s voice, low and stressed. His hands were shaking as they touched me and his touched burned me as hit threw out,
“Come on Lisa. We are going to lose her if you don’t do this.”
“Fine,” snapped Lisa. I felt her hand touch me on the head. Images started pushing forward of the park again, me seeing them, the ground moving and the snakes. As soon as the image of the snake moved forwards, her hand disappeared from my head and went to my sleeve. She rolled my sleeve up and said to Nathan, “she was bitten up both her arms and on her chest by snakes in her hallucination. You’d better hurry if you want to save her.”
As she said this my breathing was becoming more and more difficult. It felt like someone was tightening a steel band across my chest and spots were starting to appear in the darkness. The next second I felt a burning going the other way, a scalding, burning roll and a hand on my arm. Nathan’s voice was in my ear, calmly speaking to me,
“Jasmine, wake up please. It wasn’t real. Come on now, wake up.”
I began to become more aware, realising that it was raining and feeling the wet drops on my face. The wind blew against me and the cold ground beneath me soothed the burning off my skin.
“Nathan its five to nine. We better head. Will you manage to get her to school ok? Or do you want us to stay and help,” came a soft voice near my head.
“No, its fine Joe. You lot get to school. We’ll be there shortly.”
“Nathan she’s fine now, just leave her. Come on.” Her voice pleaded with him, but I felt him tense as he answered her. “Lisa, she’s my responsibility and I need to make sure she’s ok. Just go, I’ll see you at break.”
“Fine.” She huffed out and Joe spoke, “Come on Lisa, we can’t be late.”
The footsteps thundered off and my body was being pulled up into a sitting position. My body slumped and Nathan’s hand snaked around my waist, causing my body to tense up.
“Sshh it’s just me,” his voice whispered in my ear, soothing me.
My eyes were refusing to open but the rain was getting heavier. Nathan slid in behind me and in a gesture that made my stomach roll, felt him running his other hand over my head brushing away the dirt and the last of the mugginess. His voice when he spoke was whisper soft directly into my ear.
“Come on Jas, you need to wake up,” he purred seductively. His breath tickled my ear and I groaned as my eyes fought to open. “Come on baby, that’s it. Open your eyes for me.”
I froze unsure I heard him right, Nathan just called me baby.
I opened my eyes slowly and my senses returned. I shivered and Nathan wrapped me his arms rubbing my arms and holding me to his chest. I turned to see his face, and saw his face was a mixture of confusion and something else.
“Thank you,” I managed to croak out. My heart thundered in my chest as he turned me into him and leaned down closer to me.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered before leaning in and kissing me gently on the lips. My lips burned with the contact and my face heated. He then moved back and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m not sure what I would have done if I had lost you.” He held me close for a moment and kissed the top of my head. He paused there for a beat, then lean
ed back and stood up. He smiled down at me still sitting there stunned.
“Come on, we need to get to school.”
He said this in his usual brisk manner and his voice went back into his irritated way of speaking to me. I didn’t move, so he reached down and grabbed my hand and pulled me up so fast that I cannoned right into him. He held me there for a second, pulling me closer. His arms wound around me and he squeezed me tightly and sighed. He kissed my hair again and touched his lips to my forehead before he moved away and shouted over his shoulder,
“Hurry up please Jasmine. We’re already going to be late for school.”
My body followed after him sluggishly. I realised as we walked that I was freezing and soaking. My brain started moving a million miles a minute as I wondered what had happened to make me hallucinate so badly.
My eyes spun of their own violation to the swing set and landed on the cup. I froze as it hit me somehow the hot chocolate must have been spiked. I doubled over as I gasped for breath and Nathan came back towards me. He lifted my shoulder up and looked at my wide eyes. “Please. We have to go baby.” My head snapped up at the endearment and I stepped back from him noticing the pain on his features as he took in my movement.
Did he know they had done that? I stared into his eyes and he grabbed my hand tugging me towards school and I let him as my mind raced. For once his touch didn’t set my soul of fire. I was so consumed with my thoughts, I barely noticed and he wasn’t holding it in the normal way.
We reached the road and he dropped my hand. He crossed ahead of me and went into the school. My mind was overwhelmed with thinking about how they poisoned me, unless the girl who worked there had done it.
Arriving at school after Nathan at 9.15am, I made a beeline straight for the girl’s bathrooms, used some paper towels to dry off and hurried to my English class. The teacher was a lovely woman, and when I apologised for being late she ushered me to my seat saying not to worry. I sat down and got my pen and jotter out of my bag, but while I was doing this I looked around and spotted a few faces turned towards me with an amused look, and realised some of them must have been in the park as well.
This class was a double period, and when the bell rang for interval the teacher called me over and asked me why I was l late.
“I slept in Miss,” I answered respectfully.
“Well make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
I smiled and nodded and she gestured for me to leave the classroom. As I reached the door I turned back to say thank you but she wasn’t at her desk, I walked into the corridor bumping into Danielle, Katie and Lisa, and together we walked down the stairs.
As we reached the dining hall I noticed lots of the pupils stared at me and laughing. I took a step back to look about for Nathan, but he was nowhere to be seen. I forced myself to keep going towards my friends and Danielle asked me if I was ok.
“Not really,” I answered her, “I feel kind of sick.”
“Aww honey, what’s wrong,” she asked in her sweet voice but before I had the chance to answer her Katie had sat down beside me and loudly said in my ear.
“You had better watch out! Nathan has just split up with Lisa and she is on the warpath.”
Danni’s eyes widened and I looked at Katie evenly, “what has that got to do with me?” My heart thundered and I placed my hands on my lap as I began feeling dizzy. Katie answered, making me feel even worse.
“I don’t know, but she is blaming you so be careful.”
Great. Just what I needed, a crazy, psycho bitch after me. Life just didn’t get any better. Danni and Katie moved away from me suddenly, and as I looked round to ask what was going on something ice cold hit me on the top of my head. I jumped up and hit my leg on the table. I spun around and Lisa was standing there with a plastic cup. She stared at me vindictively and threw the water all over me. I gasped as the coldness hit me. She leaned in closer,
“I will get him back you little bitch. Nathan is mine.”
With that she strode away and I stood there dripping wet and shivering again. I turned around to go to the bathroom and saw Nathan in the doorway of the dining hall. He shook his head slightly and I realised that it must be a trap. So I just walked up to the counter and grabbed a few paper towels to dry my face and dab at my hair.
The bell rang and Katie and Lisa walked over to me at the counter where I was drying off. They brought my stuff to me wordlessly before they left, leaving me wondering why they weren’t speaking to me. I followed the crowd to my English class, but realised that Lisa was my desk companion in this class. I dreaded walking through the door, but my dread was unfounded because when I reached the classroom she wasn’t there and I didn’t see her for the rest of the day which passed thankfully without any more incidents.
The next few days passed in a blur. Nathan hadn’t spoken to me since the park and I was beginning to worry, but every so often I would catch him looking at me with such tenderness that it put my mind at ease. School was fun since I was avoiding Lisa as much as was possible, but I still had classes with her. The worst class of all was English where she would stab me with pencils, hit me with her bag and trip me up, but she didn’t manage to get me on my own.
I had an awful weekend and returning to school on the Monday was actually a blessing and a curse. I was out walking around the garden on the Saturday when Nathan came out. He walked right by me and into the woods. I had taken my sketch pad out into the garden and I was drawing the barn with the tree on the grass. The day was cold, but dry surprisingly for mid September.
I sat there for a few hours drawing the barn. All I could see was his eyes when he kissed me and I wanted to talk to him so badly. I kept surreptitiously glancing around for him, but when he finally arrived back he walked right by me even though I said his name. I saw him cringe as I said it, although he didn’t turn or acknowledge that I had spoken.
After a few minutes I decided to go into the house and get something to eat, but just as I stood up I saw Nathan walking out the door. He stared in the other direction and his face was set in determination.
I went inside for food and walked up to my room, trying to figure out what I was going to say to him. I spent most of the remainder of the day in my room, drawing and doing my homework, but I was still thinking about Nathan when dinner time came. I looked at my watch and realised that it was after 6 and that I was starving. I had come in just before half past one, so I got up and walked to my room door pausing for a minute to check that I looked okay. I walked out into the hall, glanced at Nathan’s room. My breath left me and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. He was standing there in the doorway with Lisa’s arms wrapped around him. I saw him glance my way, but my eyes were filling up with tears so I spun back into my room, closing the door softly behind me. I slid down the door and felt the tears slide down my face.
All I wanted was to feel cherished and yet again here was another shining example of how love was not for me. I sat on the floor and cried myself out before getting up and going for a shower. The water on my skin soothed me, but I was in the shower still crying when I heard my room door open and close. A few seconds later Nathan knocked at the bathroom door,
“Jasmine” he shouted, “are you wanting dinner?”
“No thanks.”I answered trying to sound normal. My voice crackled on the thanks and more tears rolled down my face. Hearing his voice tore at me and I started sobbing in the shower. A soft thud made me jump and a few seconds later my room door slammed closed.
I forced myself out of the shower and climbed into my PJ’s before crawling into bed. I lay there for a minute feeling exhausted. I began panting as the walls closed in on me and claustrophobia hit me. I wanted, no needed to get out of this house.
My body moved without conscious thought as I grabbed my boots and zipper. Seconds later I stormed out of my room refusing to look at his door. I ran down the stairs and made it out the door. . I ignored Nathan as he called my name and stepped out into the wind and rain. I
sprinted towards the main road and decided to run to the park. The wind was freezing and the rain was getting heavier and heavier, but I kept going. I refused to turn back even though part of me wanted to.
As I reached the park I looked around, unsure of where to go, when I spotted a shelter under the slide. I ran closer and noticed it was hidden from the road, the woods and the rest of the park. I sat there shivering, thinking about earlier in the week and the tenderness he had when he looked at me but clearly it didn’t matter to him. Why did it matter so much to me? Why couldn’t I just let it go? What was wrong with me?
I sat there for an inordinate amount of time, listening to the sound of the rain hitting of the slide and started to hear funny rusting noises, as though people were running towards me and then running away again. This went on for a while, and I was about to leave when something grabbed me by the legs and dragged me off into the bushes. I was getting carried further away into the woods. My body was scrapping along the ground, over stones, branches and boulders. I fought hard but when I banged my head on a large boulder I blacked out for few minutes.
I woke up a while later and wondered where I was. What had grabbed me?
I looked around and noticed I was in my room. Did I actually go out? My zipper and boots were where I left them behind the door. I was in my bed, curled under the covers, but I was so confused and I felt a little sick. I ran into the bathroom and sat on the floor because my head was spinning and I was feeling nauseas. I sat there with no desire to move, feeling myself slip down the side of the toilet. Nathan came into the room and looked about in panic. His eyes shot all around the room and he moved around the bed. He stood with his back to me staring at the corner of the bed before he turned and caught me watching him.
He was wearing an old pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt with holes in it. He walked towards me and picked me up off of the floor. His touch was like a tonic and suddenly I felt better. He carried me back to my bed whispering to me,
“You shouldn’t be awake yet baby.”
Luminosity (Escaping Demons Saga Book 1) Page 11
