Each night I’d drop by the park at the end of his practice. Increasingly, upon seeing me, his gaze grew stronger, his grin deeper. All mention of kissing lessons or Alec was history—just as Alec himself was history. I hadn’t so much as texted with him in a couple of weeks. I totally had to ‘fess up to Hayes about all that, but I was waiting for the right moment, something that showed he’d be up for a smooth transition to a legitimate couple.
But fate had other plans. Following a day spent helping my parents prepare for a garage sale, I’d arrived at the park later than usual. Hayes was pacing in hard circles on cement, a scowl etched in his brow.
“You fucking lied to me, Maddie!” No pause, no segue, just naked-ass truth. “Alec said you aren’t even together.”
My heart jumped to my throat. “You—you talked to him?”
“Yeah, I talked to him.” He raked a hand through his hair. “He came by here earlier. To run the track, but I thought the worst. I went over to him, to try to smooth things over, only to have him act confused, then laugh, and be like, ‘Dude, no worries. I’m not with her.’”
I opened my mouth to try to cover my tracks, but anything but the truth sounded ridiculous, even in my own head. “I’m sorry.”
“He said he hasn’t seen you since before school let out.”
I grimaced.
“You’re not denying this?”
“I really did have a couple bad dates with Alec a month or so ago, but I never cared about making things right with him.” It felt a lot easier to look at the dusty cleats on his feet than at his face. “It was all about you. You and Willa had broken up. It was summer, and I was seeing you every day at the pool. Plus, I heard you telling Mrs. Puglisi that you were taking a break from dating, so I figured maybe you wouldn’t mind passing the time with me.”
“You tricked me.” A flinty glare transformed his eyes. “Figuring what, I’d never find out?”
“I—I was going to tell you,” I asserted, my voice quavering.
“When?”
“When it felt right.”
“Oh, and what would be the right time to tell a guy he got used for his body?”
My blood ran cold. “Wait a minute; I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do.”
“No, you didn’t. And that’s the worst part. I let you use me.” A muscle jumped in his jaw. “Thing is, I felt for you, and what you were going through at home, and how you weren’t sure if you were with the right person. I was trying to help. While you were using me, and probably laughing your ass off about it with Linzee.”
“No.” I stomped a flip-flop on the pavement for emphasis. “No! I was into you. I—I still am, more than ever.”
He turned.
“Please, Hayes,” I said, feeling I could neither breathe nor swallow. “Can’t we talk about this some more? I’m really, really sorry. I mean, maybe we could just start over.”
“Start over?” He pivoted toward me, his eyes on fire. “Sure, that we can do.”
I drew a decent breath.
“Let’s go all the way back to being strangers.”
TO MY HORROR AND shame—and probably some other things I was too horrified and shamed to name—Hayes kept to that resolution for the rest of the summer. He ignored me.
“I think he’d put Nana on his shoulders for a chicken fight before he’d choose me,” I’d griped to Linzee during our back-to-school shopping trip. “Or Zelda,” I added, referring to his very pregnant stepmother.
“It’s as if he’s developed the superpower of invisibility when it comes to you, Mads. Like, he can look right at you and not see you.”
Almost. Except we both knew what Hayes did see when his eyes happened upon me. A liar and a user. I wasn’t those things, of course—not really. What I’d been was stupid. Desperate. And in love. (Which I was coming to understand often went together.)
The evening after the first club meeting, I called Linzee as promised. She’d expected dull-as-dirt club talk, and I pretty much knocked her socks off with the updates on Hayes.
“Okay,” she told me, “knowing he’s with Jenny is the worst and the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“Worst, yeah.” I screwed up my face. “How is it the best?”
“Keeps you in the friend zone. Gives you the chance to show him what a good person you are. Then, down the line, when they break up … well, who knows?”
Her words circled through my brain.
“And the cherry on top, Mads? You don’t have to see them all over school, all over each other, like last time.”
She was so right. At that moment, I could almost forget my pea-soup green envy over Jenny. “Oh, Linzee, have I told you recently how much I adore you?”
I could almost feel the warmth of her smile through the phone line.
Regaining Hayes’s respect filled my head the next day at school. While cruising toward the cafeteria, I went with an impulsive decision to pop into the guidance office. Mr. Last was between appointments and agreed to see me.
“I know colleges are looking for diversity and leadership in their applicants,” I began, practically repeating Hayes’s words. “But say you were president of a small club. Would that be as impressive as being the president of an established one?”
Basically, should I use what influence I had to round up new club members to help Hayes look more important?
Mr. Last steepled his fingers on his desk. “You’re absolutely right about diversity and leadership. Funny, I had a conversation like this yesterday, a senior who told me about a new club to honor our town and wanted to know how to best play his participation.”
I felt my brow arch. He couldn’t be talking about Hayes.
“I pointed out that being a founding member can be even more important than size or elected status. It highlights innovation and independence, two other traits highly favored by admissions committees.”
Now my head was really spinning. “I’m in that new club, too, along with Hayes Townsend.”
“So Hayes did join. Good. For both of you.”
Moving like a sleepwalker in the halls, I didn’t know what to think. I let my black ballet flats propel me down the hall. The door to room 112 was wide open.
“Hey there,” she said when I poked my head in. Mrs. Puglisi was eating a salad at her desk. “Come on in.”
I slumped in a first-row chair.
“Slow start with our club yesterday, Maddie. But it’ll pick up, I’m sure.” My face must have looked as shell-shocked because it sure sounded like Mrs. Puglisi was trying to reassure me. “I think we need to agree on an initial element to focus on first, something that will get people’s attention.” She mentioned a sports star who called Applewood his hometown and the resurgence of Main Street. “Why don’t you and Hayes kick around some ideas to present at next week’s meeting?”
I nodded as if that was going to happen. “Actually, I’m wondering if you could tell me how he knew about this club. Did you mention it to him like you did me?”
“My mother did.”
I blinked several times, although it was my ears I was pretty sure that had failed me. “Nana?”
“One-on-one in a quiet environment is really the only way she communicates these days, and whenever he was the first to show up at the pool, he’d spend time chatting with her.”
The idea of Hayes hanging with Nana sure rocked my boat. Score another point for him being an all-around good guy.
But that didn’t change the fact he’d lied to me about Mr. Last. In fact, it proved it. What was I missing?
FOR ONCE, LINZEE DIDN’T have any insights into Hayes’s motivations. Talking on the phone that night, we focused on Emory’s upcoming weekend home. But when a screaming siren announced the arrival of an ambulance out front, I promised Linzee a callback and hit the ground running. My pare
nts were at a franchise fair, investigating options for their shop space, so I locked up on my way out.
A crowd was forming on the sidewalk across from the Puglisi house as I rushed through the cool night air. Ambulance doors had been flung open while paramedics wheeled an empty gurney up the walk.
Spying Hayes, I made a beeline for him. Nothing about us—past or present—mattered now.
“Is it Nana?”
Dressed in a tee, gym shorts, and a frown, he nodded. “Don’t know if it’s a heart attack or stroke or whatever.”
I opened my mouth to try to say something supportive, but all that came out was a gasp.
His stepmom, Zelda, stopped before us, her belly huge inside a patchwork quilt. “I’ve gotta get off my feet. Keep me posted, Hayes.” She shrugged the quilt off her shoulders and draped it around his.
Nodding, he grabbed hold of the quilt’s edges, pulling one against his chest. Then he opened the other side and gazed invitingly at me.
My heart leaped to my throat. Admittedly, being barefoot in a knee-length sleep shirt was stupid in autumn night weather, but snuggling up with him wasn’t a smart move for me, either. My new resolution with him was about boundaries, about respectability, about friendship, right?
“I know it’s a little weird, Maddie, but no reason to stand there and shiver.”
I shuffled from one foot to the other. And appreciating his stab at honesty, I went with my own. “What about Jenny? Would she be all right with it?”
His gaze narrowed.
“Well, she’s your girlfriend, and I’m—”
“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
His words blowing through my brain, I struggled to find my own. “But yesterday, she picked you up.”
“As a favor, on her way home from the CC. So I could work out with Scott in their backyard batting cage.”
Wow, how I wished I could take my question back. He must think I had a real problem exaggerating/inventing relationships.
Hayes closed the gap between us in a couple of steps, and pulled me into his cocoon. My body was treated to the sensational heat of both the blanket and body variety. But I was pretty sure it was my cheeks that were flaming.
“Better?” he asked.
I let out a murmur of agreement, just as footsteps pounded from near the house. I looked up to see paramedics steering Nana out on the gurney, Mrs. Puglisi bringing up the rear.
“They say she’ll be fine!” Mrs. Puglisi shouted to the neighbors. “They’re just taking her in to be sure.”
“Thank God,” Hayes said, turning toward me. Our faces suddenly only a foot or so apart, the quilt around us tugged tighter. “I can’t imagine losing her.”
“Yeah, I know you visit Nana sometimes.”
He smiled. “She’s great, when you give her a chance. And you know, she was on to us this summer, the sneaking around. She heard us that day at the pool.”
My brain circled. I was embarrassed to admit I’d discounted her as sleeping, and, well, hearing impaired. “Really?”
“She called it romantic.” His brow quirked. “Then later, she kept after me to patch things up.”
I saw no reason not to go for broke. “Is that when she told you about the new club I was joining?”
He did one of his long pauses. “She thought working together would get us back on track, even suggested the president/vice president thing.”
“So it wasn’t Mr. Last who came up with that.”
He bit his lip, or maybe was biting away a smile? “I did talk to him about the club, but no, it was Nana who told me.”
I drew a slow inhale, deliberately made him suffer through my long pause. “So let me get this straight, Hayes Townsend, when you said Mr. Last was behind all that, you lied to me?”
He seemed to flinch.
“You tricked me?”
A smile caught the edges of his mouth.
“You used me?”
“Wait, that one doesn’t work here.” His dimples flashed. “Unless you want to lodge a complaint about this quilt. Claim I’m using you for your body … heat.”
“Are you?” My pulse quickened.
“Maybe a little. But mostly it’s seizing the moment to get close to you again, and try to explain why I acted like such an ass.” He slid around next to me, leading me in slow steps toward our houses, while his hand gently cupped my waist.
“I never told you how things ended with Willa.” He stared into space for a long moment. “She’d been cheating on me for months.”
Aha, no wonder he’d wanted to take a break from dating.
“At the time you came to me with your idea, I was still pissed off—at her and myself. So I was torn. I mean, I definitely could see myself with you.” He stole a look at me out of the corner of his eye. “But it was complicated. Eventually, I convinced myself it was a win-win, with you getting what you needed and me finding a safe way to move on. Not realizing how hard and fast I’d fall for you.”
I went to remind him of the feelings I had for him, then thought better of it. For once, I needed to zip my lip and listen.
“When I saw Alec at the park, I assumed he was there to kick my ass. I got all pumped up, went over there ready—not just to defend myself, but against anything he said about you. So when he blew me off with a laugh, all I had left was the anger.”
Stopping in front of my house, he gave his head a slow shake. “Which I, unfortunately, took out on at you. Yes, you’d made me feel stupid, but mostly I was furious at myself for not seeing the writing on the wall with a girl again. It took me a while to come to terms with all that, and to be in the right place to tell you how sorry I am.”
My heart pounded. “I’m sorry, too. I should never have been dishonest with you. If I could take it back—”
“Forget it, Maddie. What I liked was your idea of starting over.”
“Starting over?” Practically breathless, I stared deep into his eyes. “You mean, you’re going to give me a second chance?”
“I was hoping you’d give me one.”
Emotion swelled inside me as he sealed his lips over mine. I felt like the luckiest girl alive. Whatever I’d done, right or wrong, I couldn’t be happier to be here, with Hayes, at this moment.
And when I got inside later, omigod, did I need to call Linzee.
THE HOMETOWN OF APPLEWOOD Club went from four members to forty in the next few weeks. Hayes and I came up with the idea to honor Applewood’s emergency first responders as the club’s launch project, which got a strong response. Mrs. Puglisi was very pleased and even brought Nana to a couple of the meetings. Sitting quietly in the rear, Nana tended to be forgotten, which I rationally understood but was a mistake I wouldn’t make again.
In fact, Linzee and I had been dropping by on Saturday mornings to have coffee with Nana, to share details about our lives, and hear her takes—which could be even more out-of-the-box than Linzee’s. We called Nana our life coach and our secret weapon, but never did she let us forget where her true royalty rested. She was Hayes’s number one fan.
No problem there. I was all about making him happy, too—as happy as he was making me. For now, for our whole senior year … and well, as long as this wild ride took us.
Tina Ferraro is the author of numerous novels and novellas and is a two-time RITA finalist for Young Adult Romance. She can usually be found in front of a keyboard in the Los Angeles home she shares with her husband and their two cats, writing her butt off—or, let’s be honest, adding more on.
“THE BEST MAN IS missing.”
Victoria kept her don’t-worry-everything-is-under-control smile firmly in place and turned toward the bride, who was currently wringing her hands as the rest of the party milled around in the sanctuary, waiting for the rehearsal to start.
Lolly, though genuinely
sweet, was also young, sheltered, and wildly dramatic. She never missed an opportunity for exaggeration, so Tori hoped this was just another bridal overreaction.
“Define missing?”
“His flight was supposed to arrive three hours ago, but no one has heard a word from him, and all Kipp’s calls are going straight to voicemail,” Lolly moaned with the level of angst usually reserved for disaster movies about planet-wide annihilation.
“I’m sure he’s on his way,” Tori soothed. “His cellphone battery probably died because he overdid it playing Candy Crush on the plane.”
“No, you don’t understand. Taylor never plays. And he’d never forget to charge his phone. He’s a machine.”
Since Victoria had never met the Manhattan-based best man, she couldn’t argue for his humanity—and the fallibility that came with it. Instead, since a wedding planner’s primary job within twenty-four hours of “I dos” was to stave off bridal panic attacks, she amped up the reassurance in her smile and took Lolly’s arm. “Don’t worry. Leave it with me and I’ll track him down. Right now, all you need to be thinking about is how perfect the ceremony is going to be tomorrow. Let’s find Kipp and the two of you can speak with Pastor Jim about your vows while I get this wrinkle ironed out.”
Lolly let Tori guide her toward the altar where her fiancé waited. “Do you think we made the right choice by writing our own vows? My grandmother’s so traditional—”
“You love your vows. Your grandmother’s going to love your vows. And when you walk down the aisle, all she’s going to think about is how amazing you look and how happy you are.”
Lolly’s concern melted into relief. “You’re so right. What would I do without you?”
Drive your mother insane by trying to do everything yourself. Victoria made a good living as a wedding planner, but she’d been told by many a mother of the bride that she was worth ten times her hefty fee, thanks to her ability to keep their precious darlings from turning into bridezillas.
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