“I never would’ve guessed, Mom.”
“It’s true. I hid it for years and fought to stop, but I never could for long. When I was dating your father, I realized I had to do something. I started going to Gamblers Anonymous meetings. Once we were married, I’d stopped cold turkey. I stayed that way for years. Then I had you and while I was home taking care of a child, I got bored. I missed my job, felt sorry for myself, your father was off traveling and I was stuck at home. That’s no excuse—but I started gambling again.”
Margot’s voice grew shaky, and then she steadied herself.
“First it was just card games for pennies with the other young moms in the neighborhood. Then lotto tickets. I told myself it was okay. I wasn’t betting much. But by the time you started school and I returned to work, I had the fever again. I went back to old habits and high stakes. I gambled away all my paychecks. Then I started in on your father’s earnings. He found out.”
“But Dad didn’t leave you,” Karinne said, confused.
“No. I began going back to meetings, and he took safeguards to protect our finances. But I never realized how much a child could affect our careers. We decided no more children. I stayed home with you more—and I resented you both.” Margot swallowed hard. “Again, no excuse.”
“Dad didn’t know?”
“Not at first. I’d pretend to be working on local photography assignments while I went to the casinos. Then I made a huge win at blackjack—more money than your father and I could have earned working in a year. I told everyone I’d quit my job and taken a sabbatical. It was true—I wanted to experiment and expand my creative skills. I thought I could stay away from gambling with that big win. Your father was pleased I could take you along with me, and so was I. But eventually I started gambling again and lost all the money I’d made.”
“What happened? Why the suicide note? Why did you just disappear?”
“I couldn’t come home. You need to know what I did the day before.” Margot clasped her hands together tightly. “I took out a new mortgage on our house—the house your father had paid off. I had a ‘sure thing’ at the track. And I’d already placed the largest bet I’d ever made. My past winnings, the house, my business, everything… I knew I couldn’t lose. But I did.”
“So you just left? And pretended to kill yourself?”
“I had to. I couldn’t face either of you with the truth. Your father would’ve divorced me, and taken you with him. No court would give me custody. But my disappearance…what looked like my death—” Margot’s voice broke “—would solve everything. My life insurance, which included suicide coverage, would save the house. You and your father could have normal lives.”
“Normal?”
“I thought of you and your father every day, Karinne! Whether I came home or not, I’d lose you both. Once your father cashed my life insurance, I couldn’t reverse my decision. I’d be convicted of insurance fraud, and he might’ve been, too. So I stayed away.”
“And just decided to come back now?” Karinne asked.
“I wanted to see you. I subscribe to the local paper. When I saw you were getting married, I had to come home. The statute of limitations has expired. Karinne, when I saw you wearing that pink sweatshirt, I hoped so much. I know I haven’t been the world’s greatest mother, but if it’s not too much to ask…”
“What?” Karinne tried to add Mom, but the word felt strange on her tongue.
“Can we start again?”
CORY HAD JUST cleared away Karinne’s plate when Max and Anita returned to the table.
“Where’s Karinne?” Anita asked.
“She went to the cabin.”
“You let her go alone?” Max asked.
“She wanted to shower.”
“You should’ve gone with her!” Max dropped his plate on the table and rushed off.
“Should we go, too?” Anita asked Cory.
“I don’t think so. Why don’t you finish eating?”
“I’ll get a carton for Max’s food. Why didn’t you go with her, Cory?”
“Because we’re surrounded by hundreds of people. Karinne’ll be safe here.”
“But…what about this crazy woman?”
“People have been touring the Grand Canyon since the 1880s. We get five million visitors a year. There’s never been a single murder.” Cory gestured toward Anita’s empty seat with his fork.
Anita cast a nervous glance toward the door. “I guess Max will take care of her.”
“And Karinne needs to take care of Max,” Cory said firmly. “This is the very first time she’s ever come to the canyon, to Max’s world, for more than a weekend. This visit is long overdue. She shouldn’t let some freak distract her.”
“You could say the same about me. I’ve never been down the river before.”
“No, but you’ve been to Grand Canyon Village lots of times. Max usually sees Karinne in Phoenix.”
“Max doesn’t have an elderly father, either.” Anita replaced her paper napkin on her lap. “Could you ever leave here, Cory?”
“If I had to. If our marriage really needed it.”
Anita nodded. “As close as Karinne and I are, she never talks about her mother. Is she dead or not?”
“Margot? I don’t know,” Cory said.
“What was she like?” Anita asked curiously.
“Max and I never liked her as kids. Margot Cavanaugh was no gem.” Cory remembered. “If she’s back, she wants something. It’s not for any hearts-and-flowers reunion at Karinne’s wedding.”
KARINNE LISTENED again to her mother’s request.
“Can you forgive me? I did what I thought was best.”
“I—I can try. Are you coming back to Phoenix?” Karinne asked.
“No.”
“Can we can stay in touch?”
“I’d like that, Karinne. I’ve never stopped loving you. I can’t change the past, but I want to be part of your future. I don’t expect a wedding invitation.”
Slowly Karinne said, “I’ve always wanted you there, Mom. I never stopped missing you.”
The desperate hope on Margot’s face would have softened the hardest of hearts. “Are you inviting me?”
“If there’s a wedding, yes, you’ll be there.”
Margot and Karinne wrapped their arms around each other.
“We have so much to catch up on,” Karinne murmured when they finally broke their embrace.
“Too much,” Margot said. “We’ll definitely need coffee.”
“We can go back to the mess hall.”
Margot wiped at her eyes with a tissue. Her mascara came off in black smudges on the tissue.
“Go fix your face, and I’ll call Max—let him know where I am.”
Margot smiled and closed the bathroom door. Karinne picked up the phone, then thought, I wonder what Dad will say.
MAX STARED AT Deer-15, their empty cabin. He’d searched the room once, then twice, for a note. Although his breathing remained normal, his heart seemed to race a mile a minute. Her pile of soiled clothing lay on the floor. Karinne was a neat, organized person. What was going on? He felt like running out and screaming her name, but fought down the urge.
Be sensible, he told himself. She’s in the gift shop. Or you missed her in the crowd.
Max didn’t believe that for a second. His instincts told him something unusual had happened. But what? He couldn’t bear the idea of Karinne being hurt or upset. He loved her. He’d always loved her, and the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach was almost crippling as he considered his plan of action. He was debating whether to wait in the cabin or go back to Cory and Anita when the room phone rang. He snatched it up. “Hello?”
“Max, it’s me.”
“Karinne! Where are you?”
At first he couldn’t understand the rush of words. Then he did. “Your mother’s here?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes. I’m in her cabin.”
“Where?”
“Bear-3.”<
br />
“I’m coming over.”
“Love you.”
Max heard the phone disconnect as she hung up. He scribbled a note for Cory and Anita and hurried toward the Bear group of cabins. As he did, he willed his racing heart to slow down. Breaking their engagement hadn’t changed his feelings for her. He’d fallen in love with her during her high school graduation, when he’d sat watching with her family and his. He’d been four years older and later tried to convince himself that his fondness for Karinne was a sentimental reaction to the ceremony, but he knew better.
Karinne had left to go to college, and during those four years he’d continued in his role as family friend. Cory, who was closer to Karinne’s age and attending the same college, kept him posted on her, and of course Max saw her from time to time. It wasn’t until after her college graduation that Karinne had miraculously admitted that she felt the same way he did way back in her high school days, but had been too young and too shy to admit it. They’d grown close, then became lovers, then got engaged. But the engagement had dragged on and on and on as Karinne established herself in her new career.
By this time Max had his own career, but for Karinne, he’d offered to find something new. Arizona was the land of the great outdoors, and for a man like him, there were always opportunities. Karinne hadn’t felt he should leave his job in the Grand Canyon. Now that he employed Cory, it was too late for him to quit without damaging his brother’s finances, and now Cory was married.
Max had waited years for Karinne to finish school. Then he’d waited for her to follow her dreams—although he wondered if sports photography was Jeff Cavanaugh’s dream pushed onto his daughter instead of Karinne’s true dream. Nonetheless, he’d waited. And waited. Max was an all or nothing kind of person. But Karinne seemed content with the small parts of him she had time for, while Max wanted a wife, children, a life. Karinne wanted to live in the past or drift in the present, never planning for a future. It wasn’t enough. He couldn’t do it anymore. But that didn’t mean he could just dismiss her. Just the hint of any risk to her tightened his chest with worry.
He reached the cabin. His knock on the door was loud and brisk. To Max’s immense relief, Karinne herself answered.
“That was fast,” she said, glowing. “Come say hello to my mother.”
Max immediately recognized her, not just from memory but her resemblance to Karinne. Despite the age difference, they shared the same body type, the same face. Only where Karinne’s mouth was generous and smiling, Margot’s thin lips moved nervously.
“Hello, Max,” Margot said with a shy smile. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, it has.” The old words from the past sprang to his lips. “Welcome back, Mrs. C.”
“It’s Margot, please. You’ve grown tall. And strong.” She extended her hand to Max.
He took it briefly. “I’ve been rafting.”
“Max, I want to bow out of the rest of the trip,” Karinne said apologetically, with a significant glance toward her mother. “I’d like to stay here alone with Mom.”
He bit back the words. Over my dead body.
“No, you don’t have to do that. You should stick to your original arrangements,” Margot said.
Margot doesn’t want to be with her own daughter? After all this time? He maintained his silence.
“But, Mom, you just got here!” Karinne protested.
“I’ll still be here when you get back from rafting, Karinne.”
Karinne’s face clearly said, Will you?
Max sighed. “Perhaps your mother would like to join us tomorrow on the river,” he suggested. There was no way he’d leave Karinne alone with Margot. Max wasn’t buying the perfect-mother routine for a second. Where had she been all these years?
“If you don’t mind, Karinne…then thank you, Max. That sounds lovely,” Margot agreed, almost too quickly. “I should go shopping. I have to pick up some things if I’m going rafting.”
“I’ll come with you,” Karinne insisted.
“It’s okay, darling,” Margot said. “I’ll get an early night and see you tomorrow.”
“But…I thought we could spend more time together!”
“Tomorrow, sweetheart.”
Margot practically forced her daughter out of the room. Karinne looked to Max for help but, when none was forthcoming, reluctantly hugged and kissed her mother goodbye.
Margot backed into the cabin as Karinne stepped out.
Max grabbed the door handle, putting himself between Margot, who was inside, and Karinne outside. “We’ll leave after the first breakfast, Mrs. Cavanaugh.”
“Won’t you call me Margot? We should be friends,” Margot urged.
Max remembered how he’d lied to Margot as a boy. He doubted Margot had ever realized that.
“As long as Karinne’s happy, Margot, that won’t be a problem. I have to wonder, though…”
“What?”
“What do you really want?” Max asked the older woman.
Margot smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “The same as you. I want Karinne.”
Chapter Nine
Max walked hand in hand with Karinne back to their cabin.
“Mom and I barely got to speak to each other. It was almost as if…she couldn’t wait to get rid of me,” Karinne said slowly.
“Maybe she was just overwhelmed,” Max suggested.
“After all these years, she finally shows up, and all I get is a few minutes?”
“You sound a bit overwhelmed yourself.” He squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry. Once she’s on the raft she’ll be a captive audience.”
“There is that.” Karinne smiled. “Thank you for inviting her, Max.”
“So…what did she have to say? Anything you want to share?”
Karinne related her mother’s tale. At the end of it, Max shook his head.
“Sad, isn’t it?”
Karinne nodded. “And I still have to call Dad.”
“That’s one conversation he won’t be expecting. Do you think he’s up to hearing it?”
“I hope so. I don’t want to upset him too much. Still, he has to be told.”
They arrived at their own cabin, but instead of going in, Karinne lingered on the porch steps outside the cabin.
“I invited Mom to the wedding,” she said. “It…kind of slipped out. Do you mind?”
“Karinne, I told you,” he said softly, “there isn’t going to be any wedding.”
“But you thought I was chasing ghosts. I wasn’t, Max! Mom’s alive!”
“That doesn’t change things.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t change things for me. I’m marrying you, come hell or high water. And I’d like Mom to be there.”
Max started to argue, then didn’t. Karinne had just had a major shock. He wasn’t going to add to it, although he’d meant what he said. “Did Margot say yes?”
“Not exactly.”
“Talk about Margot all you want, but don’t say anything about yet another wedding that won’t happen,” Max said curtly, ignoring the way she blanched. “Why don’t you go on in and use the phone? I’ll wait out here until you’re done, if you want.”
Karinne nodded. She unlocked the cabin door, and tossed him the key. “I won’t be long.”
Karinne settled herself on the bed and dialed her old home number. Jeff answered on the third ring.
“Hi, Dad, it’s me.”
“Karinne? I didn’t expect to hear from you, of all people! I thought you were rafting.”
“I was. I am. We’re at Phantom Ranch. I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll just come out and say it. Mom’s alive, and she’s here. A few cabins away.”
The silence on the other end screamed with tension.
“Are you sure?” Jeff finally asked, his voice hoarse.
“It’s her, Dad. Mom’s alive.”
Another pause, then, “What does she have to say for herself? Did she bother explaining where she’s been all th
ese years?”
“Dad, I don’t want to upset you. Your heart…”
“I’ll be more upset if you don’t tell me,” Jeff said, his voice sounding more normal. “What did she say, Karinne?”
She related everything Margot had said, concluding with, “I just finished seeing her. She’s supposed to go rafting with us tomorrow.”
“Your mother turns up out of nowhere and decides it’s time to cruise down the Colorado? She’s got a hell of a lot of nerve!” Jeff protested.
“I thought we could get reacquainted. Max invited her.”
Jeff swore. “Is Max there?”
“Yes, but—”
“Let me speak to him.”
Karinne put her hand over the mouthpiece. “Max? Dad wants to talk to you.”
Max hurried in and Karinne handed him the phone. She couldn’t hear what her father said, but the conversation was short.
“No, don’t do anything,” Max said. “You take care of yourself. Yeah, I will. Goodbye.”
“He hung up?” Karinne asked incredulously.
“Yes. He said to tell you he feels fine, and not to cut your visit short on his account.”
“But he didn’t say— He didn’t make arrangements to see Mom.”
“With his health, I’d let the news sink in.”
“I’ll call him back tonight and check on him. And maybe you can have your parents drop in on him,” Karinne said.
“I’ll call them right now.” Max was as good as his word. His mother said she’d look in on Jeff. “And I should touch base with the private investigator, too,” Max told Karinne.
“Max, I’ll be outside. I need some fresh air.”
“Fine. I’ll come get you when I’m done.” Parker Investigations had been thorough and, while expressing surprise at Margot’s present location, had information of their own to impart.
“She’s been living in Mexico all this time?” Max asked.
“Yes, in Baja. She hasn’t done any photography work under her former name or her new one, Margaret Lazar. There’s a man in the picture, but I haven’t found much else yet.”
The Reluctant Bride Page 9
